


It's No Coincidence

by IsabellaJack



Series: Fated [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Complete, Fluff, Kid Fic, Light Angst, Neighbors, Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Romance, Slow Build, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-03 02:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 109,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5272568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabellaJack/pseuds/IsabellaJack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The kids immediately scream, "Trick-or-Treat" before they see who opens the door.</p><p>The strange resident looks between the two kids, then at the adults, and his eyes widen in horror.</p><p>"It's October already?"</p><p>Okay, Bucky thinks. This guy is probably high.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [豈是巧合](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6395629) by [sashach](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashach/pseuds/sashach)



> I really shouldn't post anything while I have other works in progress, but I couldn't help but play with this one. I had this idea and thought I'd write it. I'm planning on updating this one every Monday. Hopefully!
> 
> All mistakes are mine.
> 
> Here's a photoset I created for this fic. Hope you like it.

 

 

"Come on uncle Bucky!"

Bucky runs after his six-year old nephew Kyle, trying to make sure his costume is secure. He's going as Captain America. Bucky ends up carrying the shield since Kyle is holding his basket.

"All right, all right. Don't want you to catch a cold."

Kyle fusses. Then grasping Bucky's hand, they head out their house and meet Clint on the curb. Bucky smiles at his friend and his daughter.

"Nat's not coming?"

Clint smiles. "Nah, she's with a client."

They hug and Bucky crouches to hug Nicole. "How are ya munchkin?"

It's been a week since he's last seen them. Clint and Nat are his closest friends and when they got married years ago, he was over the moon. And ever since, he makes sure they get together once a week. Looking at their precious daughter now, he can't help but smile. She has the same green eyes and fiery red hair as her mother's and Bucky is always amazed at the striking resemblance.

"Guess what I am?" She asks excitedly.

Bucky tilts his head as he looks her way. "Hmm Pocahontas?"

She giggles. "No. You're silly. Pocahontas doesn't have wings."

Kyle drags Bucky and they start walking down their festive, Halloween-decorated neighborhood.

"I give up. What are you?"

"I'm a fairy!"

"Really? Then you must grant me a wish."

"Sure uncle Bucky."

He loves when she calls him that. Her father chimes in. "I know. Make him have a tail."

"Hey!" Bucky shoves Clint and the latter stumbles. The kids giggle and they start their trick-or-treating.

The kids have a blast and the adults enjoy talking about their day all throughout their wandering and candy hunting.

They're two houses away from their residence when Kyle drags Bucky to the vacant house around the corner.

"This is the last one. Come on."

Bucky stops him. "Hold on buddy. No one lives there."

"Yes there is!" And his nephew is much stronger than kids his age and pulls Bucky; Nicole and her father laugh behind them.

"How do you know?" Bucky asks bewildered.

"I saw a man enter it yesterday."

Bucky stops. He knows pretty much all his neighbors. He's very social and is pretty much friends with everyone. He'd know if some new residents move in. He can see the said house through his kitchen window. He knows it's vacant.

"Come on!"

Then Kyle clearly gives up and holds Nicole's hand instead and runs there. Clint laughs but Bucky worries and jogs after them. He's too late and the kids have already knocked. Bucky stands behind Kyle while Clint puts his arm around his daughter.

There's no answer, so Bucky looks down Kyle’s head. "See. I told you. No one moved in here."

"But uncle Bucky, I swear. I saw him."

Nicole knocks again and it's then that the door opens. The kids immediately scream, "Trick-or-Treat" before they see who opens the door.

Bucky doesn't expect the person behind the door. He's never seen him before. He would've remembered him for his impeccable physique but what alarmed him is the state of the guy.

He has red eyes with dark circles underneath them. His t-shirt is rumbled and his sweat pants are ripped on one knee. His blond hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in a while. He looks like a guy who's been crying for a long time. He squints at them and Bucky unconsciously wraps his arm around his nephew, bringing him closer to him. The guy seems troubled...and in a daze.

He doesn't say anything, so Kyle and Nicole present their baskets. The strange resident looks between the two kids, then at the adults, and his eyes widen in horror.

"It's October already?"

 _Okay_ , Bucky thinks. _This guy is probably high_.

Clint laughs. "You're kidding, right?"

Bucky cringes as he sees the hurt and shocked look on the stranger's face. So, Bucky speaks, "It's okay. Sorry to bother you--"

"No, no. Wait, I might have something. Hold on."

He heads inside, leaving the door ajar. Clint leans over and whispers, "This guy is so high..."

Bucky shakes his head. "That was my first thought but...I don't think so. He looks…so sad."

Clint raises his brow. "And how'd you figure that one out?"

Bucky shrugs. "His eyes."

"His eyes?” Then Clint laughs. “Are you gone for him already Buck?"

Bucky tries not to blush and fails. He huffs instead. "Of course not!"

The guy comes back and Bucky and Clint freeze at what he got with him. It's certainly not candy.

"Umm, so sorry but I got no sweets or anything but these are the best paint brushes, charcoal sketching set there is."

"But I don't know how to paint," Nicole says sadly as she turns to her dad. Clint quickly nods to the stranger and pats his daughter's head. "You can learn sweetie. I'll learn with you too."

"This is SO cool. Look uncle Bucky."

And he shoves the basket his way. Bucky smiles and then looks up to find the stranger looking like on the verge of crying. He grabs Kyle’s hand and starts to go down the steps. "Thanks. You didn't have to."

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry again." He actually sniffs but fortunately no tears.

Bucky doesn't want to embarrass him anymore so he says, "Sorry for the nuisance. Come on buddy."

They all turn around and leave, and Bucky hears the soft click of the door. Clint whispers his way, "I think you're wrong."

"Hmm?"

"He's not sad. I think he's depressed."

Nicole drags her dad and Bucky slows down. He turns and glances back. The house still looks dark and empty.

~~~

Later that night, Bucky tucks his nephew in bed. He smiles at Kyle as he counts all the candies. Bucky joins him and they reach the end and pick out the paint brushes, the charcoal sketching set and Acrylic paints. Nicole ended up giving her set to Kyle claiming she has no use of the paint brushes.

Bucky inspects them up close. They're not the usual kind. He's not an expert but he goes to the bookstore once in a while, and there were so many times when he had to get school supplies for Kyle, but these are...vintage?

He looks at the boxes and notices the price tags. They're in French. Then he notices that all the words over the boxes are in French. Apparently they’re not made here or bought here for that matter.

Bucky sits straight and starts, "Hey Kyle?"

The little boy fluffs his comforter and sinks into the soft pillows. "Yeah?"

"I think," and Bucky gathers the art supplies. "I think we should return these."

Kyle's face falls and he asks softly, "But why?"

"Because it's not right. He didn't have candy and we kinda ambushed the guy--"

"What does ambush mean?"

"It means surprising someone. Listen," and he lies down on the bed and puts his arm around Kyle. "We seem to have embarrassed him so he ended up giving us what's actually his. Look at them. They've been used so many times. He probably had them for years. Would you want to take that from him?"

Kyle sighs. "No."

Bucky kisses the top of his head. "Good answer. Now I'll put them in a bag and tomorrow we're gonna return them."

He takes the supplies and heads out. Before he turns off the lights, he looks at Kyle and finds him furrowing his brows, definitely not happy with the outcome. Bucky knows that the kid doesn't paint or draw often but it's obvious now that he likes to pursue that.

"I'll buy you new ones. How's that?"

Kyle smiles widely and pumps his fist in the air. "Yes!"

Bucky laughs. "All right. Sweet dreams."

"Love you."

"Love you more."

Bucky goes to his home office and drops the supplies on his desk. He looks at them and then grabs the sketching set. He opens it gently since it’s rusty and finds the charcoal. He touches them and notices a folded paper in half underneath. He debates unfolding it but curiosity wins.

“Shit!” he gasps at what he finds.

It’s a charcoal drawing of a portrait. A very beautiful woman. She looks ethereal. Her hair is styled beautifully. She has very defined lips and eyebrows. It's like he's staring at a photograph. It was done impeccably.

Bucky quickly folds it back and puts it where it was. He gets a nice small bag and throws the stuff there. His heart is beating fast and he doesn’t like that. He hates that he looked. He’s not a nosy person but the guy’s sudden move to their neighborhood and the devastated look on his face earlier…

He pours himself a glass of wine and decides to bury himself in his work. Looking at the papers on his desk, he sighs as he logs in on his computer. Working as a freelance translator is a perk. He doesn't have to leave the house and can raise Kyle without any interference.

Work is also comforting for him. He gets lost in texts and languages and he relishes in that. Translation is his passion.

However, tonight, he can't concentrate as the bag sits on his desk. He starts wondering. When did the stranger move in? He's never seen him before. Why would he give up his stuff? Did he know that the paper was there? Did he know that woman?

Bucky gets up, grabs the bag and heads to the kitchen to put it on the island there. Then his eyes look out the window over the sink, which shows the stranger's house. Looking closely, the house is dark. No lights.

Bucky hopes that he's not one of those creepy ones. Their neighborhood has the loveliest people and he doesn't want that to change.

But then he remembers the stranger’s red-rimmed sad blue eyes.

"Urgh! I should stop thinking and start working."

One thing he's certain of. The guy has a story and it’s not a happy one.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me posting even before Monday.

 

The very next day, Bucky picks Kyle up from school. As soon as the kid gets in, he turns to Bucky and chuckles.

“What?” Bucky asks, smiling.

“What’s that on your forehead?”

Bucky quickly looks in the mirror and finds flour across his forehead. He blushes and wipes it with the back of his hand. Kyle gets a tissue from his pocket and hands it over.

“Thanks.”

“Were you baking?”

“Yes,” Bucky starts as he pulls away from the school. “I baked apple pie.”

“Yes!”

“It’s not for us buddy. But I did bake cookies for you.”

He heads home and good thing it’s close to their neighborhood. He doesn’t want the pie to get cold.

“For who then?”

“For our new neighbor. Remember? We’re giving him his stuff back today.”

Kyle deflates. “Yeah.”

Bucky glances at him and then pats his knee. “After you’re done with your homework, we’re gonna stop by his house. Give him his stuff back and the pie to welcome him to the neighborhood. Then I’m gonna take you to buy those art supplies.”

Kyle smiles widely. “Really uncle Bucky?”

Bucky huffs. “Of course! I promised you, didn’t I?”

Kyle reaches for his uncle’s hand and holds it. Bucky’s heart warms up at the gesture. He’s always been a sweet, warm kid. Just like his late mother.

 

****

 

After they arrive home, he gives Kyle a snack and then proceeds to help him with his homework. After they're done, Bucky makes sure that Kyle wears a scarf and a jacket before heading to the stranger's house.  
  
"Careful," Bucky says to Kyle as he watches the kid skip his way there. He’s holding the bag and Bucky’s carrying the pie.  
  
As they near, the house looks the same. They climb the two steps and Bucky knocks.  
  
He goes to stand behind his nephew. They wait for few minutes but no one answers. Kyle looks up at him. "Maybe he’s a ghost uncle Bucky."  
  
Bucky chuckles at the serious look on the kid's face.  
  
"He's not."  
  
When he raises his hand to knock again, the door opens and the stranger stands there in the same clothes as yesterday. Bucky notices the same devastated expression on his face, except he's frowning at them.  
  
"Umm?" The stranger looks confused.  
  
Bucky nudges Kyle who takes a step and hands in the bag. The guy looks at the bag and Kyle but doesn't move to take it. When Kyle doesn't say anything, Bucky speaks.  
  
"Hi, sorry to bother you but my nephew here has something for you."  
  
The guy looks at Kyle and then takes the bag, brows furrowed. When he looks inside, his face falls and looks at Kyle.  
  
"You didn't like them?"  
  
"No, I did. But it's not right."  
  
Bucky puts his hand on his nephew's shoulder in support. The guy surprises Bucky when he crouches to speak to Kyle.  
  
"What do ya mean?"  
  
Kyle looks up at Bucky who nods at him encouragingly, then looks at the guy and says, "They're yours and it's not right that we took them."  
  
The guy's face almost crumbles and says, "But you didn't take them. I gave them to you."  
  
Kyle puts his hands behind his back. "Well, we kinda ashbumed you..."  
  
Bucky snickers and corrects, "Ambushed."  
  
Kyle looks up and then rolls his eyes in a typical kid fashion. He looks at their neighbor again, "He uses big words that I can't say sometimes."  
  
The guy smiles gently. "Well, that just means that's he an intelligent guy." He looks up at Bucky and the latter tries not to blush. The guy gets up and addresses Kyle. "Don't worry. When you get older, you’ll know more words than him."  
  
Kyle chuckles. "No way. My uncle is _super_ smart. He speaks," and he pauses to count on his fingers. "French, Italian, Russian, and--"  
  
Bucky is horrified and feels his ears redden. He covers Kyle’s hand with his to stop his counting. "Okay, Kyle. That's not why we're here."  
  
He then hands the pie over and the guy takes it looking hesitant. "Here's something to welcome you to the neighborhood."  
  
Kyle clasps his hands together in excitement. "Uncle Bucky makes the BEST pies ever and ever!"  
  
Bucky wants the ground to swallow him, yet he can't help but smile at his nephew and pulls him closer to him. Kyle wraps his arms around his waist.  
  
The guy looks like he wants to cry. "Um, thank you. You certainly didn't have to. I actually..."  
  
He pauses and Bucky notices the struggle he's having before looking up at them. "Thank you. You're so kind."  
  
Bucky waves him off. "It's nothing. If you need anything, we live two houses across from you. Number fourteen." He points at his house where it's very visible from where he's standing. Then turns back, and extends his hand. "I'm Bucky Barnes and this is my nephew Kyle."  
  
"Steve Rogers.” And he shakes Bucky's hand.  
  
Kyle waves and Steve waves back and ruffles his hair.  
  
"Well, have a good one."  
  
"You too," Steve says.  
  
Bucky holds Kyle's hand and they head to their house. Kyle untangles their hands and skips his way home.  
  
"Slow down," Bucky yells.  
  
He turns to glance back and sees the edge of the curtain move. He turns back and catches up to Kyle.

  
  
****

  
  
It's Saturday and that means it’s their get-together night with the Barton’s. The doorbell rings and Kyle runs, Bucky behind him.  
  
He opens the door and Nicole quickly barges in dragging Kyle with her inside to show him something she had bought.

Nat stops her daughter in time and reaches for Kyle. “Where’s my kiss little man?”

He blushes and kisses her cheek. Nat hugs him and then shoos them away. Bucky hugs Clint and opens his arms wide to hug Nat tightly.

When he steps away, he gasps when he realizes that she’s holding a bottle of wine. "What's the occasion?"  
  
She presents it to him; a fancy expensive bottle, tongue in cheek. Bucky closes the door after them. He heads to the kitchen, the adults following him.  
  
It takes him seconds and then he whips around. "Oh my god! You're expecting?"  
  
Nat huffs. "Please. If I were, you'll all stop drinking until I deliver. It's a pact."  
  
Clint sits on the stool and waits as Bucky checks the oven.  
  
"I won a case."  
  
"Oh, congratulations. As if you ever lost one."

 Nat is one of the top lawyers and Bucky admires her diligence and hard work. She almost always never loses a case.  
  
"That's what I said when she let me pay handsomely for this," Clint says as he points at the bottle.  
  
"James. This is actually to celebrate you having a boyfriend," she says as she raises her brow at him.  
  
He gets the apple pie he baked from the oven, put it on the island and checks it. It's cooked perfectly and smells heavenly.  
  
"Wouldn't that require me meeting someone in the first place?" Bucky snorts.  
  
"My dear husband here says he met him and I want to meet him too."  
  
Bucky pauses and looks between them. Clint then throws his hands in the air. "Listen, I was just recounting our strange encounter with your new neighbor..."  
  
Bucky quickly connects the dots and face-palms. "Oh God Nat! Don't, please."  
  
She helps out and gets the plates to set their coffee table. "What? I heard you liked his eyes."  
  
Bucky throws his mittens at Clint's face. "This is all your fault."  
  
Clint wiggles his brows and Nat finds the cutlery. Bucky starts cutting the pie. "So you admit it?"  
  
Bucky tries not to blush and he hopes they’d think it’s from the heat of the oven. "I'm not admitting anything Nat, for God's sake! He's just our new neighbor. I didn't even say I liked his eyes whatsoever."  
  
Then he washes one of the wine glasses he pulled earlier. Nat sighs as she smells the pie. "When was the last time you got laid?"  
  
"Jesus!" And he drops the glass but thankfully it falls in the sink and doesn't break. He sighs and turns to her, grabbing a towel. Nat had always meddled in his private life. They’ve been friends long before Clint came in the picture. She’d always fixed him up with dates. Bucky can speak from experience that she’s one nosy person.  
  
"What?" She feigns innocence. Then she looks worried. "Or do you just masturbate? Don't overdo it--"  
  
"Oh my God!! Shut up. Jesus! The kids can hear you!" He hisses as his face colors.  
  
Clint laughs and is chewing something and Bucky realizes he's been eating the pie. Bucky doesn’t have the time to scold him, so he turns to Nat. "You kiss your kid with that mouth?"  
  
Clint smirks. "She does a lot of things with that mouth."  
  
Bucky shakes his head. "You guys are disgusting and I don't know why I put up with you two." Then he points at her. "And no, I'm not gonna talk about my sex life thank you very much."

In truth, it’s been a year since he’d been intimate with anyone. Last time anything had happened was a fling when Kyle was spending time with his grandmother. Bucky went out, and had a one-night stand. He couldn’t, and still can’t, afford to have a relationship. Not when Kyle is all he cares about. He’s his life and he wants to give him his undivided attention. A relationship is going to hinder that. It’s not fair to either party.  
  
Nat puts her hands up in surrender. "Fine. At least I wanna see him to evaluate the situation."  
  
Bucky shakes his head in astonishment. "Do you hear yourself now? This isn't a case you're working on. Leave it alone."  
  
She tilts her head, looking at him, then sighs. "All right. Let's eat that pie of yours then because my hubby here is gonna finish it before we get to try it."  
  
She moves as she carries the plates and cutlery, pressing a kiss to Clint's lips before humming and heading to the living room.  
  
Clint looks at her then back at Bucky. The latter quickly throws the towel at him. "You have the biggest mouth ever!"  
  
"That's what she said,” Clint says, smirking.  
  
"Oh God!"

  
  
****

  
  
Three days later Bucky finds himself in the kitchen at six in the morning. He's thankful that Kyle is a morning kid and never complains. The kid is brushing his teeth now and Bucky goes to prepare his school lunch. After packing it for him, he goes to wash his own mug. He's dying for fresh coffee. He stands by the sink as he pours coffee for himself. He smells it and hums in delight. His eyes are staring ahead and he doesn't realize that there are two guys jogging past their house. He sees their sweaty backs as they run; one of them is shirtless. The two men stop at their new neighbor's house. He's taken aback as he recognizes that the shirtless one is Steve Rogers and that he's doing the quickest push-ups ever. His other friend crouches next to him, obviously cheering him on.

 _Who in their right mind would do that at this early hour?_ Bucky wonders.  
  
Bucky feels himself leaning closer, the edge if the sink digging into his tummy. Steve later gets up, and catches the water bottle his friend throws at him. Bucky can’t see his exact facial expressions. He wants to see if he's still sad or depressed or whatever his deal is.  
  
Steve hugs his friend, watches him drive away as he puts his hands on his hips.  
  
Bucky is so fascinated with the sculpture of his body. Who could be that fit?  
  
"This is so unfair," he whispers and sips his coffee.  
  
Then Steve turns and looks Bucky's way. Now, logically, Bucky knows he won't be able to see him, but he will certainly see Bucky's silhouette for sure. With total immaturity, Bucky immediately ducks behind the sink and crouches on the ground. His heart beat fast as he realizes that his neighbor might think he's a pervert or something.

He closes his eyes as he takes deep breaths.

"Uncle Bucky?"

Bucky freezes. He turns and sees Kyle standing there, ready for school. "What are you doing?" Kyle asks, smiling.

Bucky quickly thinks of something. "Uh...I spilled some coffee and I was just making sure the floor is clean."

"Oh, okay." Kyle sits on the stool and starts eating his cereal that Bucky has prepared for him. Bucky stands up and lets out a breath when he sees that Steve has already got inside his house.

He sits in front of Kyle and drinks his coffee. This is not how he pictured his morning would go.

Bucky sighs loudly when he remembers Steve's 'illegal' physique. He groans as he drops his head on the counter in frustration. Kyle's hand pats his head seconds later.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'd update every Monday, but I had this written for a while. I got too excited lol. So I'm posting it earlier than scheduled.

 

It's been two weeks since they first met their new neighbor. Bucky still finds him jog at the same God-forsaking early hour of the morning. Sometimes alone, sometimes with that same friend. And Bucky never gets bored staring at him, jogging past their house shirtless. Sometimes Bucky would leave the house with Kyle for school and they’d wave at him. Steve would wave back, still a sad smile on his face. Bucky finds himself wishing for it to be replaced with a happy one.  
  
One afternoon Bucky is in his home office, on the phone with his friend Jacques Dernier.  
  
"I know Dernier, but I thought I'd ask a native speaker instead of consulting the database. Sorry for being thorough,” Bucky says irritated.  
  
His friend laughs and Bucky can't help but smile. "I'm glad you're enjoying this."  
  
"What? I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm glad you did because we don’t use _that_ in that context. So, that particular slang is only used in one specific context."  
  
"Okay," Bucky puts his phone on speaker and deletes the sentence he wrote before. He types what Dernier tells him.  
  
He reads it to him and it actually makes better sense. He smiles and sighs as he slumps back in his chair. "You're right. This sounds much better."  
  
"Yeah. It's tricky sometimes if the target language is not your native tongue."  
  
"Here, here. But strangely I don't have that problem when it comes going into Italian or Russian."

“That’s why I keep telling you to come live here in France for a year or two. Just to refresh your mind. You lived in Russia and Italy for a while that’s why you’d never have a problem there.” 

Bucky sighs. “Yeah, well—“

The doorbell rings and Bucky sits up. _It's probably the mail,_ he thinks. "Okay pal. Gotta go."  
  
"Of course! That’s why you call. You just use me!" Dernier says in jest.  
  
Bucky snickers as he leaves the comfort of his home office and heads to the door. "Someone's at the door. Talk to ya later."  
  
"Please do. Give my regards to that little prince."  
  
"Will do."  
  
Bucky hangs up and swings the door open. He's surprised to see Steve Rogers standing there, smiling sheepishly.

"Good afternoon, sorry if I’m bothering you--"  
  
Buck quickly blurts. "No, no. I was just working."  
  
Steve looks horrified. "Oh, I'm sorry then. I'll come back later." He turns, leaving.  
  
Bucky realizes how he came off. "No, wait." And he steps out, "It's okay. I’m freelance. I work from home basically. I’m my own boss. What can I do for you?"  
  
"Oh uh," and Steve rubs his neck. He looks embarrassed. He's holding a stack of envelopes. "I wanted to know where the postal office is. My phone ran out of Internet data otherwise I would’ve gotten the location. I need to go there because I keep getting the mail of the previous owners. I wanna return it."  
  
"Oh sure. It's close by. As soon as you leave the gate, just turn to Smith’s road. Drive through until you reach the second intersection. You'll find the postal office on the right."  
  
Steve nods and smiles. "Okay. That _does_ sound close by."  
  
Bucky nods smiling, then Steve looks around and then says, "Thanks."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Bucky watches him head toward the gate.

 _Wait. Is he...?_  
  
"Hey, hey Steve?"  
  
He runs the few steps to him. Steve turns. "Yeah?"  
  
"Are you planning on going there on foot?"  
  
Steve looks at him like it's the logical thing ever. "Yeah."  
  
Bucky snorts and then sobers up when he sees that Steve is serious. "But that's too far."  
  
Steve shrugs. "You just said it was close by."  
  
"Yeah, if you're going by car."  
  
Steve avoids his eyes. "Well, my bike is in the workshop so..."  
  
Bucky says without hesitation, "I'll drive you."  
  
Steve looks appalled. "No, no. I can't have you do that."  
  
Bucky is already walking backwards. "It's settled. I actually have been meaning to go. Need to buy some stamps."  
  
Bucky doesn’t actually need anything but he decides it's the only way to remove that guilty look on Steve’s face, who sighs and nods. Bucky smiles and quickly jogs back home. He changes into jeans and grabs his jacket and keys. He comes back and is relieved to find Steve still standing there. Bucky nods his head toward his car. He gets in and starts it. Steve slides in seconds later and fastens his seat belt. Bucky quickly notices his presence. He's big next to him. He wonders if his heart is going to regret this in the long run.

 _Nah, the guy needs help._  
  
Bucky backs out of the driveway and then drives away. As soon as he leaves the gate of their neighborhood he glances Steve’s way. He looks very reserved. The stack of envelopes is sitting on his lap, and he’s looking out the window. Very rigid.  
  
"So, how's the neighborhood treating you?"  
  
He feels him turn to look at him. "It's nice. Very quiet."  
  
"You moved from another neighborhood or from another place all together?” Bucky asks and glances his way.

Thankfully Steve doesn’t mind the question and answers, “I just moved from New York.”

“Oh wow. I’m from there by the way. Brooklyn born and raised.”

“Really? Me too.”

Then it’s quiet again and Bucky finds himself on edge. He can’t handle this awkwardness. The guy won’t say anything. So, he decides to speak instead.

“Well, I’ll be glad to tell you about where everything is in this town. The coolest thing about this place is that you have everything close by.”

“Like where we’re going?” Steve actually cracks a smile. Bucky looks at him and finds it genuine. No hint of the sadness and feels triumphant. He smiles back and makes a turn as he chuckles. “Yeah.”

He begins to tell him about the cool car workshop, the nice lady at the laundry, and the small really great bookstore behind their neighborhood and the Indian restaurant next to Kinko’s.

Bucky reaches their destination and parks the car. As soon as he does that, Steve gets out and Bucky says, “I’ll wait here. Take as long as you need.”

Steve looks like he wants to object and Bucky gives him a pointed look. He smiles, nods and heads into the postal office. Bucky finally lets out a long breath. He always takes pride in being so good at conversing and socializing with people. That’s why he’s basically friends with everyone. Yet, here he is, not knowing how to navigate around Steve Rogers.

He plays with the apps on his phone and fifteen minutes later Steve gets back in.

“Everything settled?” Bucky asks as he starts the car.

Steve lets out a relieved sigh. “Yeah. It’s like a weight had lifted off my shoulders.”

“I’m glad.”

The ride back is quiet and Bucky ends up turning on the radio and lowering the volume a bit. Then he realizes something. “You want me to get you somewhere? Since you don’t have your bike? Or if you want, you can actually borrow my car.”

Steve looks kindly at him. “No, thank you. You’ve already done enough.”

“Well. If you change your mind, all you gotta do is ask.”

He stops at Steve’s house and Bucky sees the sadness clouds him again. He looks subdued and not like how he knocked on his door earlier. And Bucky can’t stand it. So, his traitorous mouth opens.

“Hey, I’m having a get-together with some old friends this coming Saturday. You’re welcome to join us …” he pauses as he looks at Steve’s surprised face.

Bucky stammers, “I mean if you want to. I just thought that it’d be great to meet some other neighbors or people…” He seriously thinks he should stop but he can’t. He keeps blabbering, “These old friends of mine are hilarious and I guarantee you won’t regret meeting them. I mean that’s only if you want to of course.”

Bucky is finally able to shut up and watches as Steve fiddles with his fingers and a small white envelope is on his lap. “Uh, thanks but… I don’t think so.”

Bucky feels utterly stupid but smiles widely anyway to cover his feeling of shame. He puts his hands on the steering wheel, gripping tightly. “It’s okay.”

Steve sighs, glances over then opens the door and gets out. “Thanks again Bucky.”

Then he hands over the small envelope. Bucky furrows his brows as he takes it.

“You forgot this,” Steve says.

With that he leaves and Bucky opens it to find stamps. Bucky smiles sadly as he realizes that Steve went ahead and bought him some probably knowing he doesn’t need them in the first place.

 

***

 

"You did what?" Clint almost yells into the phone.  
  
Bucky cringes and paces in his living room. "I know. I know. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't even _think_ I was thinking to be honest. I just blurted it out. God!"  
  
There is a pause and then Clint's loud guffaw reaches him and almost deafens him. Bucky purses his lips. "I'm really glad you're enjoying this Clint."  
  
"Sorry buddy. It's just you always end up in the most awkward situation."  
  
Bucky groans and slumps onto the couch. "I just hope he doesn't think I was asking him out or hitting on him. It doesn't sound like I was, right Clint? Right?"  
  
He panics and Clint replies, "No, it doesn't. Not to me anyway. Suits you right for putting your foot in your mouth."  
  
"I couldn't help it. He looked so sad and lonely. You know me--"  
  
"Well, you gotta stop man. He's not a charity case. You don't wanna offend him."  
  
"You're right, you're right. God. It's just..." He sighs. He wants to help him so bad. No one should be this down.  
  
"Now Bucky, can you imagine if he said yes. He'd meet my lovely wife."  
  
Bucky groans. "Shit! Didn't think of that."  
  
"She would've grilled him and put him on the stand."  
  
"Please stop. Promise you won't tell? Somehow she's under the impression that I'm interested in him which I'm _not_."  
  
"Yeah okay Bucky." Clint snorts.  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Somehow I believe you because you've a good heart and you just feel sorry for the guy."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Well, you dodged a bullet there. Nat would've eaten him alive."  
  
Bucky's breath comes out in a whoosh. "God. Can you imagine."  
  


***  
  


Two days later, it’s Thursday and Bucky oversleeps. He jolts awake and finds himself that he had slept on his desk, papers wrinkled under his face. He's an half hour late than usual and scrambles to get Kyle ready for school. His heart is beating fast. He's never been late. Kyle’s never been late to school.

Bucky brews coffee for himself and forgets to drink it. He quickly makes Kyle's lunch box, and apologizes profusely to his nephew.  
  
"It's okay uncle Bucky."  
  
"Can't believe this!” Bucky mutters as he crouches to zip Kyle’s jacket on. “It's that Russian document that I have to send to a client tomorrow. I stayed up late translating."  
  
"Don't do that again.” Kyle then smooths Bucky’s furrowed brows with his little fingers, and the adult closes his eyes in the process and calms down a bit. “Our science teacher says that staying up late can kill your brain cells."  
  
"Really? I'm gonna keep that in mind.” Bucky humors him.  
  
He forgets to change, so he leaves in his sweatpants and torn up Beatles t-shirt. He even forgets to grab a jacket. Holding Kyle's hand and carrying his bag, he swings the door open and almost collides with a sweaty shirtless Steve Rogers.  
  
"Oh!" And Bucky gulps and swallows down a swear word that almost flew out of his mouth, reminding himself of the child standing next to him.  
  
"Morning. Sorry...uh…"  
  
"Uh no, it's okay. We're just running--"  
  
"Woah! You look like a superhero!" Kyle says, his eyes wide.

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, and Steve looks red in the face. He chuckles and says, “Thanks, I guess?”

“Are they real?”

Steve furrows his brows. “What?”

Kyle points at Steve’s upper body. “Your muscles.” Then he turns to Bucky. “Uncle Bucky, look. They can’t be real.”

Bucky is horrified and stammers but Steve saves the day and crouches. “I’m afraid they’re real kiddo.”

Kyle is just wide-eyed and looks up at Bucky. “Can I touch them?”

“Kyle! Don’t be rude.” Bucky finally sums up his courage to look Steve in the eye and says “I apologize. He’s just…”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” Then Steve flexes his arm and motions for Kyle to press his bicep. Kyle lets go of Bucky’s hand and giggles when he tries to circle it with his small hand.

“You’re so strong. I bet I can stand on your shoulders.”

“You can and I’ll lift you up.”

“No one is lifting anyone.” Bucky holds Kyle back and Steve stands, looking sheepish.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean—“

Bucky shakes his head. “No, please. If anyone is sorry it’s me. What is it? Is everything okay?“

Steve rubs the back of his neck and Bucky is trying his best not to gawk at the defined muscles. They look magnificent up-close. _Damn!_

“I …this is gonna sound stupid but I locked myself out.”

“Huh?”

Steve looks down. “Yeah. I went out jogging this morning and when I went to get inside my house, I found the door locked. I probably forgot to unlock the doorknob and I didn't carry my keys with me. Plus, I forgot my phone inside, otherwise I would’ve called my friend or anyone for that matter…so you see how I’m in a kinda of a pickle.”

“That you are. Well, it happens.”

“I was wondering if you have a toolbox. Maybe I can pick the lock. I mean I could break the door down but I don’t wanna have to rebuild it. I don’t wanna damage that house in any way.”

A sad look crosses his face. Bucky is astonished how down he becomes in split seconds. He clears his throat. “I think I do have one. Let me just drop Kyle at school ‘cause we’re late—“

Then he’s tugged down, and Kyle begs, “Please uncle Bucky. Can I stand on his shoulders?”

“No, Kyle! Now, let’s get you to school.” Then looks up at Steve. “Make yourself at home.” And Bucky makes sure to leave their door open wide.

Steve looks surprised. “Oh no. It’s okay. I’ll wait out here.”

Bucky walks to his car, Kyle swinging their tangled hands together. “Don’t be silly. You wanna stay out here? In the cold? There’s fresh coffee already brewing inside. I’ll be right back.”

Kyle turns and spreads his arms wide. “Uncle Bucky makes the BEST coffee ever and ever!”

Steve chuckles and raises his brow at Bucky. Bucky looks at Kyle, horrified that his nephew is drinking coffee behind his back. “And how would you know that?”

“Because every time you drink it from your cup, you close your eyes and you make these weird funny noises. Mmmmmmm. Om nom mmmmm.”

“All right. We’re going.” Bucky is flushing and lifts him to get inside the car. Then he whispers, “What’s gotten into you today, huh?”

He closes the door and gives Steve a helpless look. Before he pulls out of the driveway, he yells at Steve. “Seriously, just go on inside. I won’t be late.”

 

***

 

They make it in time and they’re relieved, Bucky more than Kyle. When Bucky returns home, he takes a deep breath before he gets inside. He finds the door ajar. The sight that greets him overwhelms him a bit and he pauses for seconds just to look. Steve is sitting on the stool in the kitchen, leaning his elbows on the counter and sipping coffee. The sunlight coming through the window makes his golden hair glow and he looks celestial. It's a great warming sight to come home to. He shakes his head at the strange thoughts and greets. "Sorry if I’m late."  
  
Steve shakes his head lightly, "Don't worry about it. God, I’m the one intruding."

Bucky waves him off and grabs his mug and pours coffee for himself. He sits across from him. Steve points to his cup. "You know, Kyle is right. This is the best coffee ever and ever!"  
  
Bucky chuckles. "Kyle exaggerates."  
  
"That kid is the sweetest human being I’ve ever met."  
  
Bucky feels pride swell in his chest. "Thanks. Takes after his mother."  
  
Steve hesitates for a second then asks, "I'm guessing his parents are away?"  
  
Bucky takes a deep breath. "Passed away. Died in a car crash when Kyle was just a one year old."  
  
Steve's face falls and clears his throat. "I'm sorry."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"You raised him ever since?"  
  
Bucky laughs humorlessly and takes a sip. "Yeah. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I was to be his legal guardian. Becca and my brother-in law had me in their will as his legal guardian should something happen to them. I'm glad they did though. Better me than someone else. It was hard at first. Ma helped. I was twenty-five years old but I knew ever since I was a kid that I wanted to be a dad more than anything else. That's why I doted on him way before I basically became his parent."  
  
"Yet, you let him call you uncle," Steve comments as a gentle look passes him.  
  
Bucky plays with the mug. "It's the least I could do for his parents. I refuse to take that away from them."  
  
"When did you tell him?"  
  
"As soon as he asked. Ma and I broke the news to him when he was four. Of course he doesn't have memories of them. But I'm keeping them alive as much as I can. Photos, videos and especially stories."  
  
Steve looks like he’s getting teary. And Bucky feels the same. So, Steve clears his throat. "Well, I can testify that you did a magnificent job with him. He's sweet and funny." Steve spreads his arms wide imitating Kyle. Bucky laughs and Steve joins him.  
  
"Thank you. He's all I've got. He’s my life really,” Bucky admits softly.  
  
"I know the feeling."  
  
Bucky hesitates but goes ahead and asks gently, "You have a kid?"  
  
"No, but I've had someone I loved that much."  
  
Then it's back. The sad look. Bucky knows that this was the longest conversation they’ve ever had but he doesn’t want that look. So, he changes the subject even though he’s dying for Steve to share but doesn’t look like he will.

“So, how exactly is the toolbox gonna help?” Bucky asks, frowning.

 

***

 

“I really thought it would work,” Steve says as he releases an exasperated sigh.

Bucky looms over him but realizes that their plan going through the door is not going to work. "That's one heck of a doorknob," he says.

He looks around and Steve gets up and smiles as he gets an idea.

“How about the windows?”

Steve looks at him then looks at the window on the right side. “That might actually work.”

He jumps the steps, and Bucky follows carrying the box. Steve's upper body barely reaches the window sill and his eyes examine it. Bucky thinks it’s a good thing there aren’t bars.

Steve swipes his hands on the sash and the casing. Then proceeds to look through the toolbox. When he gets the tools needed, Bucky notices that he’s trying not to scratch the surface, and the casing. It’s like he’s trying to be as gentle as possible with the house.

Bucky is cursing his day for watching up-close. The ripped muscles are bulging and he averts his eyes whenever he finds himself out of breath.

“Done,” Steve says and turns to Bucky. “Here goes nothing.” And he lifts the sash and it slides and he carefully sets it on the ground, aware of the thin glass.

Bucky lets out a laugh and Steve sighs smiling. He doesn’t know how he did it.

“Where the hell did you learn that?” He asks, smiling.

Steve smiles back. “Used to help my mom around the house. The upside of not having a father.”

 _Is everything sad about this guy?_ Bucky thinks. "Whoever built this house neglected the windows and focused more on the doors."

Then he notices Steve’s brows furrowing. “What?”

“I’m afraid you’re gonna have to do it Bucky.”

“What? Why me?”

Steve blushes and motions to his own body. “Well, I can’t fit through there.”

Bucky raises his brow and steps back. “Oh and I do? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Steve gives him a top-to-bottom look and Bucky wishes the ground would swallow him. He fidgets and Steve smiles genuinely. “Well, you’re way leaner than me.”

Bucky tilts his head to the side and gives him a pointed look. “Apparently Kyle’s fascination with your muscles inflated your ego.”

Steve laughs loudly and Bucky can’t help but add, “You’re right. You won’t fit ‘cause of your ego. It’s so big man. I may need to move back a bit.” And he actually takes a step back.

This time Steve holds his side laughing hard and Bucky stands there smiling, fascinated at what he just did. He made that sad man laugh. His laugh is music and Bucky’s heart swells.

“Oh, God. Thanks Bucky. It’s been so long since I laughed this hard.” Then he sobers up and looks at Bucky. “So long.”

Bucky is dying to know why but it’s not his place so he steps around him and takes off his jacket. “So, do you have a ladder?”

“Uh, no. I was thinking I’d lift you up. Give you a push.”

Bucky freezes. _Hell no!_

“I… uh don’t think…”

“It’s okay. Here,” Steve clasps his hands together, palms up. “Just put your foot in my hands and I’ll just give you a boost. You can handle the rest.”

Bucky decides not to chicken out. “Okay. You sure? With my shoes on?”

Steve smiles. “It’s fine. Come on.”

Bucky convinces himself that he can do it. _How hard can it be to be that close to a Roman God?_

He lifts his foot and decides stupidly not to hold on to Steve. His neighbor stops him. “You gotta hold on to my shoulders. Otherwise you won’t be able to hold yourself up.”

“Okay. Here I go.” Bucky puts one hand on Steve’s shoulder and he can’t let himself grip tightly, fearing the touch of skin. Too intimate for him. So, he goes to lift himself up, but because of his light grip, he loses balance and crashes into Steve’s chest. He totally thought he’d fall and that both of them would tumble to the ground, but Steve’s arms circle his waist and grunts as he holds Bucky upright. They’re still standing.

Bucky opens his eyes only to be so close to blue ones. He can literally count his long perfect eyelashes. Their breaths mingle and Bucky hopes the man doesn’t feel his erratic heartbeat as he finds himself plastered to the naked chest.

He holds his breath and Steve speaks in an almost whisper. “You okay?”

Bucky gulps, nods and pulls back as if burned. Steve’s arms loosen around him in the process. Bucky clears his throat and decides to pretend that what just happened actually didn’t. And he makes light jumps where he’s standing, pretending to warm up. He claps once. “Okay. I think I can do it now.”

“You sure?” Steve looks worried.

Bucky doesn’t answer him and puts his foot in Steve’s hands, his hands grip the broad shoulders and then switches quick enough to get purchase on the window sill. Steve pushes his foot up and it helps Bucky in getting his upper body through. Then suddenly he has this horrible thought that Steve is watching his backside. So, he surges all the way in and falls, grunting.

“You okay Bucky?”

“Ow.”

“Bucky?” Steve sounds alarmed.

He sits up, rotating his wrists. Then calls out. “Yeah. I’m good.”

He hears Steve huffs a breath. Bucky gets up and for the first time notices that he’s actually inside his neighbor’s house. It’s bare. There are only boxes. No couch or TV or tables or anything. The walls are covered in a soothing-colored wallpaper. There’s only one framed picture on the wall. Bucky realizes it’s the same face in that sketch he found in Steve’s set. It’s the same beautiful woman. It's a real photo of her, laughing at something. He wants to go and inspect it closely but doesn’t want Steve to feel that he was snooping. So, he heads to the door and unlocks it for Steve.

Steve enters, eyes concerned as they roam Bucky. “You okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

And he goes to touch Bucky’s arms but stops midway. Bucky shakes his head. “Nah I’m okay.”

They stand at the doorway awkwardly. Bucky’s praying he’d say something.

"Thank you so much Bucky. I'm forever in your debt."

Bucky waves him off. "That's what neighbors are for."

Steve hands him the toolbox. "You're not just a neighbor. You're a good man... Never met anyone like you."

Bucky blushes. It’s so quiet; the only sounds are of the chilly wind outside. He can’t handle it and just takes a deep breath and moves to leave. "Well, I gotta go. I should start working. I have this deadline..."

Steve nods, eyes on the ground. “Yeah. I’ll see ya.”

Bucky closes the door and heads to send that Russian monster of a document. 

 

***

 

Saturday is here and Bucky is running around buying groceries and everything he needs for dinner. He promises himself it’ll be the best dinner he ever made for his friends. They’re coming from all over the countries. Dernier is coming from Paris, Monty from England and Gabe from Chicago. 

He’s planning on making pizza from scratch using his ma’s special tomato sauce recipe. It’s simmering and he’s cutting all types of toppings when the doorbell rings. He looks at the clock and it’s six. Right on time.

He opens the door, Kyle standing next to him. It’s the Barton’s and as usual Nicole hugs Kyle and drags him narrating her day excitedly. Nat comes in, arms full of bags of green apples.

“Out of my way James.”

Bucky hugs Clint and closes the door. “What’s with the apples?”

He follows her in the kitchen as he sees her already working on them, cutting them into small pieces. “You don’t know the saying that any dinner table is nothing without a Russian dish?”

Bucky frowns. “No, because it’s not a saying. You forget I speak the language. I would know if it's a saying.”

She re-ties the apron around her tiny waist. “You forget that I’m actually Russian.”

He laughs and goes to continue cutting the vegetables. “What are you making?”

“Apple Sharlotka.”

“For real? I love that desert.”

Half an hour later and Nat has put the pan in the oven and set to clean after her. The doorbell rings again and Bucky gets it. He let’s out a howl of laughter as he crushes Monty in a tight huh.  

"It's so fuck--good to see you!!" Bucky greets his British friend, holding back on the cursing. They haven't seen each other in two years.

"Hello ol' chap. It's so warm here in the States."

"Speak for yourself. I had to bundle my daughter," Nat speaks as she saunters and kisses Monty on both cheeks.

"Ah the Russian princess. Beautiful as ever." Then he lowers his voice. "Why are you married to him?" Pointing at Clint as he approaches to hug him. 

"I ask myself the same question every day."

"Aww," Nat moves to attach herself to Clint, who puts his arm around her and looks at her lovingly. Bucky smiles and he almost closes the door when Dernier peaks in.

“We came together you know.”

“Oh my God!” Bucky jumps in joy and hugs him. His friend pats him on the back. “How are you friend?”

“Amazing upon seeing you guys.”

Then he calls Kyle to come say hi to his uncle’s old friends. Kyle looks a bit shy around them and both Monty and Dernier shake his hand.

Dernier quickly says, "Oh _Le petit Prince_. Hello."

Kyle smiles widely and looks at Bucky, "That means prince right? But I don't know the other word."

Bucky beams. "That's right. The other word is little."

Kyle frowns. "I'm not little."

Dernier tries to tickle him and Kyle chuckles. "Your our little prince."

He runs away, laughing and Bucky guides his friends to the living room where he asks them to make themselves more comfortable. Bucky goes to get the wine bottle and the glasses. He cleans one of them when his eyes land on Steve’s house. It’s dark as always. He jolts when Clint’s voice reaches him.

“Hey where are the beers man?”

“We’re having wine Clint.”

“I’m feeling like having a beer.”

Bucky chuckles. “Fridge.”

“Mmm smells nice in here,” Clint sings and goes to open the oven but Bucky shoves him.

“Out. Now!”

Clint looks offended and raises his hands in surrender. He gets himself a beer and leaves. Bucky calls for Nat to help out. She checks the oven first and takes the pan out to cool off. She carries the wine bottle while Bucky gets the glasses and a tray of appetizers.

Bucky sits with them for half an hour catching up when he excuses himself. He goes to the kitchen to bake the pizza. As soon as he finishes spreading the sauce on the dough, Nat comes in. She sprinkles powdered sugar on the apple Sharlotka after she sets it on a serving platter.

Then she puts it away safely in the pantry. Bucky looks at her confused. “Don’t tell Clint where I hid it. That man never stops.”

Bucky laughs lightly, and dries his hands. He puts away the three huge pizzas in the cleared fridge. He doesn’t want to put them in the oven yet. His ma’s instructions. Plus, it’s too early for food now. He washes his hands, dries them with the towel, all the while glancing at Steve's house. He opens the window to air the warm kitchen.

He goes to check on the kids and finds them in the dinning room, coloring and having the time of their lives.

Two hours of swapping anecdotes and jokes, and the night makes Bucky feel more like the old days; when he was in school and abroad. Bucky met Monty and Dernier in England when he went to study translation abroad. They all speak several languages. All of them met Natasha when she was working as a tutor on campus. All of them became friends instantly.

Looking around, Bucky felt his heart full. Nat is sitting in Clint’s lap. Monty is narrating his encounter with Dame Judi Dench once in a restaurant. Bucky is envious and wants him to paint every detail when Dernier looks through the window more than once and turns to Bucky.

“Are you expecting anyone else?”

Bucky barely looks his way for Monty is in the middle of his story. “No, why?”

“Well, not to alarm you or anything but there’s this guy outside who’s been debating whether to knock or not for the past ten minutes.”

This gets his attention and turns to his friend. “What?”

Dernier nods his head toward the window. Bucky looks at the direction and can't see anyone.

“Maybe it's Gabe. He was supposed to be here but he texted me saying he can’t make it tonight. You think he’s playing us?”

“Don’t know. It would be so like Gabe. Go check it out and if it’s not him, just yell for help.”

Bucky sticks his tongue out and Dernier shakes his head at him. Bucky excuses himself and heads to the door. He laughs when he glances at Monty re-enacting his embarrassing fall in front of Judi Dench.

Bucky opens the door. “Well, Mr. Gabe Jones, nice of you to—“

He freezes. The guy in front of him is certainly not his old friend.

“Steve?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That incident of Steve being locked out is based on what happened to me years ago. Of course, there wasn't Steve or Bucky to help ;)
> 
> But a nice neighbor was able to disassemble the window. It was a good story to share around the table :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be updating this fluffy thing every Friday. It's a much better date for me. 
> 
> All mistakes are mine. And sorry for the long chapter ;)
> 
> And sadly, I used Google Translate for some of the languages spoken in this chapter.

 

Bucky watches as Steve fidgets, holding a big light blue box.

“Hi. So sorry. I know it’s your get-together. It’s Saturday I know, but it’s why I’m here. Not that I wanna invite myself over but…” Then he actually takes a deep breath and Bucky is concerned. He steps out in the cold, leaving the door open behind him. He wants to say something but decides to let Steve take a moment.

Then Steve smiles nervously. “Um, okay. I wanted to thank you properly after what you did for me two days ago, jumping through my window and all. So, knowing you’d have company tonight, I got you guys this.”

Then he hands Bucky the big box. When he reaches for it, Steve explains, “These are New York’s finest. I had them shipped especially for your dinner party.”

Bucky is too taken aback that he doesn’t open it. Steve motions at the box. “They’re cupcakes. From one of my all time favorite bakeries in the city. Called Thor’s.”

Bucky just looks at him and can’t believe what he’s hearing. He’s overwhelmed and then finds himself blurting, “Come inside.”

Steve’s smile disappears. “No, it’s okay. It’s just I wanted to do something nice for a change. You’ve been kind to—“

“Mr. Steve!”

Both of them jump at the shriek of Kyle. He comes and stands next to Bucky. “You’re here! Come see what I drew with my new pencils. Uncle Bucky bought them for me from Barnes and Noble.”

“Uh…Sorry buddy, I…” then he looks at Bucky.

“Please Mr. Steve.” Kyle actually begs with his hands clasped under his chin.

Bucky smiles warmly then uses that to his advantage as he circles his arm around Kyle. “Yes, Mr. Steve. Pretty please?”

Then he and his nephew both sing, “Pleeeeaaaase!”

Steve laughs and runs his hand through his hair. Taking a deep breath, he shakes his head in wonder.

Bucky hugs Kyle to his side as the kid tries to open the box. “Come on. There’s freshly baked pizza and funny people inside.”

“What’s in the box?” Kyle whispers.

But Bucky, for once, doesn’t answer Kyle. He’s staring at Steve. He’s trying to _will_ him to say yes. It’s going to be good for him to interact with others. Plus, the guy got them cupcakes from New York for God’s sake. Inviting him is the least he could do in return.

Steve nods and puts his hands in his pockets as Bucky makes way for him to get inside. But Kyle quickly grabs onto Steve’s arm and drags him inside making the big man stagger inside. Bucky’s trying not to laugh, his heart feeling warm at the scene.

Then his eyes land on the suddenly silent people in the living room. He realizes that he didn’t pave the way for his neighbor. He asks Kyle to go back to the dining room and that Steve will join him later.

Bless the kid for he nodded and left. Bucky guides Steve who suddenly looks agitated, his shoulders are hunched and Bucky wonders if he did more damage than good. He clears his throat.

“Hey everyone. This is Steve Rogers. Our nice new neighbor. I invited him over, so be nice.”

Steve greets them by actually stepping into the room, extending his hand to each and every one of them. Very formal. And then Bucky’s eyes land on Nat’s smirking face.

_Oh shit!_

He just remembered his meddling friend. He knows she’s enjoying this the way she pointed her brow at him, and buried herself against her husband’s chest.

Bucky shakes his head and speaks, “Oh, uh sorry. This is Clint and his wife Natasha. These are my college buddies Monty and Dernier.”

“Nice to meet you all. Sorry for interrupting,” Steve says softly.

“Nonsense mate! The more the merrier.”

“ _Enchanté,_ ” Dernier says.

Bucky motions for him to sit and is horrified to leave him with Nat there but he has to get him a glass of wine. So, he hurries to the kitchen where he puts the box in the fridge and grabs a glass and goes back to the room.

Surprisingly, he finds them reminiscing the time they all went to Dernier’s birthday party at his family’s house in south of France. He finds Steve sitting on the only chair left vacant. He pours him a glass of wine.

“Thanks,” Steve says as he lets out a breath. Bucky notices how nervous he is with his hunched shoulders and strained jaw. So, without thinking, Bucky perches himself on the arm of his chair. Just to hopefully make him feel safe around them. Fortunately, Steve doesn’t bat an eye on how close he was to him.

Monty then almost chokes on his wine as he tries to get the words out. He points at Bucky. “Oh, oh Bucky, guess who I ran into?” Then he turns to Nat. “You’re gonna love this Natasha.”

Nat moves, interested, making Clint grunt as her knees dig into his thighs. Bucky cringes for him. “Please don’t tell me you ran into Dame Maggie Smith too?”

Then Bucky bumps Steve's shoulder with his lightly. “He actually met Judi Dench.”

Steve smiles. “Impressive.”

Monty shakes his head, smirking. “No, even better.”

“Out with it English,” Nat demands.

“Craig.”

The room goes silent except for the groans coming from Clint and Dernier. Nat goes deathly silent and then hisses at him. “You punched him, right?”

Bucky feels awkward a bit. He really erased him from memory and doesn’t want to remember him at all. The pain he inflected on Bucky was so hard to get over.

Steve’s voice reaches him. “Craig? Craig Ferguson?”

Bucky snickers then answers him. “No. My ex-boyfriend.”

“He’s a bastard who broke Bucky’s heart by cheating on him for two fucking years,” Nat explained.

Somehow Bucky still feels ashamed at the mention of his ex. It reminds him of how stupid he was and oblivious and naive. He looks down, swirling the wine in his glass. “Nat, I moved on. I don’t know why you’re still upset.”

“Seriously James?” then she looks at Monty. “Please tell me you punched him.”

Bucky adds, “It’s been years Nat. Wait, did he actually remember you Monty?”

“Oh, this is the best part. So, I met him at a party and then I realized that we never got him back for what he did to you.”

Bucky face-palms. “I dumped him. Why on earth would you think you should exact revenge?”

“Ignore him Monty. Go on,” Nat says. Clint hisses at the way her feet are pressing at his side.

“So I told him that we really should meet up and catch up, you know. And I decided that we should meet in that coffee shop on campus for old times' sake, remember that one Bucky?”

“Sure,” then he turns to Steve. “It’s in London. I went to school there.”

“Aha.” Then Steve sips his wine, very intrigued.

“And then you punched him?” Nat asks.

Dernier speaks, “Oh God. Please put Natasha out of her misery.”

“Even better love. So, he agrees and I turn up early. I order for him a latte and a slice of lemon cake and I order for myself too so not to be suspicious.”

“You didn’t?” Bucky kinda has an idea of where this was going and is shocked.

Monty actually giggles. “Hold on. Then when no one was looking, I open the lid of his cup and fill it all up with a powdered laxative. The strongest one I could find.”

Nat actually jumps on Clint’s lap making him grunt in pain. He holds her around the waist and puts her next to him.

Nat shrieks and kisses Monty’s forehead. Dernier laughs out loud and Clint grimaces. Then Nat says, “I mean it’s not that satisfactory but I'll give you A for effort.”  
  
Bucky groans but laughs nonetheless. "I don't condone this but it's hilarious...imagining him--"  
  
"I still would've punched him," Steve blurts. The others stop laughing and Bucky looks at him. Steve sips his wine, still looks down and then adds, "Twice."  
  
Bucky doesn’t know why that made his neck feel hot and his ears red and what makes it worse is looking around and seeing Nat’s raised brow at him. Her smirk makes him nervous. Fortunately, Kyle calls for him.  
  
"Uncle Bucky?"  
  
He turns quickly, glad of the distraction and walks over to him. "Yeah?"  
  
He's hiding behind the wall and looks eager. "Are you done with Mr. Steve?"  
  
Bucky has completely forgot and then smiles. "Okay. I'll bring him to you."  
  
The kid disappears and Bucky goes back and touches Steve's shoulder lightly. "Kyle wants to show you his set if you don’t mind."  
  
Steve smiles widely for the first time since he sat down. "Sure. I'd love to."  
  
He gets up and puts his glass on the coffee table. Bucky motions for him to follow him. The sight that greets him never fails to warm his heart. Nicole is coloring and Kyle is arranging his stuff probably for Steve.  
  
Kyle steps back and runs to Steve to grab his hand. "Look Mr. Steve. Look!"  
  
"I see them. Wow. They're great."  
  
Steve sits next to him but the two kids tell him to get up and guide him to sit between them.  
  
"Are you two gonna gang up on him?" Bucky asks.  
  
Steve looks like a giant sent to kindergarten. Nicole giggles. "No, uncle Bucky. We’re little."  
  
Steve chuckles as he looks between the two kids. Bucky can’t stop smiling and then decides to just stand there and watch as Kyle shows Steve all of his stuff. Bucky has bought him a sketchbook, a charcoal set, colors, paint brushes and paint. He wants to give him the whole experience. The downside is that Bucky doesn’t understand a thing about art or painting.

“Oh, these are nice. Good choice,” Steve says as he looks at Bucky.

Bucky runs his hand through his hair. “Uh…good. I didn’t know what to get.”

Steve then grabs the sketchbook and opens a new page. “How about you draw me something Kyle?”

“Okay. But I’m not good.”

Steve shakes his head. “I don’t believe that. You’re just hiding your talent from us.”

Kyle giggles and then blushes. Bucky laughs slightly. He’s never seen him this excited about someone other than the Barton’s.

“Come on. How about you draw something for me and I draw something for you?”

“Okay!”

Then Kyle goes and rips a page for Steve and hands it over. Bucky notices how Steve suddenly switches. He's no longer nervous but more confident, a determined look on his face. He grabs a charcoal pencil and starts. Bucky doesn’t know what the guy does. But ever since they returned those art supplies, he knew that he at least had a knack for it. _Who would have a vintage set?_

Bucky leaves them as he notices how zoned out his neighbor and the two kids next to him are. He stops by the kitchen and checks if they have more of the tomato sauce. Having an additional guest prompts him to quickly bake one more pizza. So, he kneads the dough and is shaping it when Nat saunters in.

He quickly knows why she’s there.

“Nat. Don’t.” He puts his clean hand up.

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

Then she leans over the counter and watches him as he spreads what’s left of the sauce over the patted-pizza shaped-dough. Having her standing there, watching, agitates him and he refuses to meet her eyes. He figures she might get bored and leave. So, he gets some vegetables and starts cutting.

When she still just stands there, he lifts his eyes as he stops cutting. She’s smirking; her signature look.

He resigns. What was he thinking? When it comes to Nat, she won’t stop until she gets what she wants.

“If you’re going to say something, please Nat, keep your voice down. He can literally hear you.”

“So, twice,” she says, swiping the flour off the counter.

He furrows his brows. “What?”

“He would’ve punched the guy. Twice.”

Bucky hangs his head low and sighs. “I’m not gonna even dignify that with a comment.”

“Okay. Can I ask you why you’re making a new one?”

He gives her an incredulous look. “Because we have an extra guest. Duh!”

“Oh, I thought you invited him.”

He scatters the toppings in a flourish manner. “I didn’t. Well…”

“Yes?”

He sighs and gives up. He tells her about how he had blurted out his invitation and all the humiliation that entailed. All the time whispering and she’s smiling at him, her eyes twinkling. That’s not a good sign coming from her.

“He got us cupcakes from New York for God’s sake. How do you expect me _not_ to invite him in?”

She folds her arms across her chest. “On the contrary, I expected that very much because you’re a softie.”

She actually leans over and catches him off guard when she pinches his cheek.

“Ow!”

He smacks her hand away and puts the newly baked pizza inside the fridge and gets the others out. He puts them on the kitchen island.

“Kyle seems to like him,” Nat says, voice serious.

He sighs and turns to her after washing his hands and drying them. “Yeah…”

He doesn’t know what to say. Kyle is a good, sweet kid but also a shy one. He doesn’t make friends easily and when it comes to adults, he only feels comfortable with Nat and Clint, and they don't count. He's known them ever since he was a toddler. For him to quickly warm up to Steve makes Bucky’s heart clench.

Thankfully, Clint walks in. “Where’s the food man? I came here just for the pizza if you wanna know.”

Nat turns and smacks him on the chest. “Hey! Ow!”

She hisses, trying not to laugh at his grim face. “Why didn’t you tell me that the neighbor is custom-made for Bucky?”

Clint looks at her confused and Bucky hangs his head low again.

"How should I know?!"  
  
"Okay. While you two bury yourselves in your own delusions, I'll go catch up with the others."

Nat points at him. “You know damn well he’s your type.”

“Whatever,” Bucky says over his shoulder.  
  
He goes to sit with Monty and Dernier. Yet he finds himself straining his ears to hear the kids and Steve. They're giggling and he can hear his voice murmuring instructions. Then few minutes later he hears the giggles closely. He turns and finds the two kids motioning for him to come their way. He excuses himself and goes to them. When he follows them, Steve is still sitting on the chair and looks at him with an apologetic expression on himself.  
  
"I swear. I tried talking them out of it."  
  
Bucky is puzzled and then the two clasp their hands under their chin. "Please uncle Bucky. Pretty please."  
  
He laughs nervously as he swipes a hair strand behind Nicole's ear. "What is it?"  
  
"We want Stevie to lift us on his big shoulders."  
  
_Again?_ And wait… _Stevie?_

"I don't think--"

Then the two small bodies tackle him until he staggers backwards. These kids know his weakness. His eyes catch Steve looking at them fondly and shrugs his big shoulders.

"How about we compromise?" Steve asks, saving Bucky.

Bucky isn’t sure but says, “I agree.”

The kids look at them. Then Kyle asks, "What does that mean?"  
  
"Grown-up talk," Nicole says, resentful.  
  
Steve gets up and then says, "How about instead of lifting you guys up..."  
  
"Since it's dangerous," Bucky supplies.  
  
"Yeah... I'll do push-ups as many as you count but here's the trick..."  
  
He waits and the kids are hanging on every word and Bucky finds himself intrigued.

“You get to sit on my back while I do it. That way, I could still lift you up.”

The two kids gasp and Bucky looks at him bewildered.

Then Kyle and Nicole look at each other and shout, “Yes!!”

Bucky just stares at him and shakes his head. “Uh… I don’t think so.” Then he looks at the kids. “We don’t wanna hurt Mr. Steve right?”

“He’s Stevie,” Nicole clarifies.

Steve smiles and stands up. “It’s okay. I’m fit enough.”

Bucky almost blurts, _that you are_.

Then Steve looks around. “We need a safe surface…”

Kyle raises his hand. “I know. The backyard.”

“Great. So, Bucky?”

Bucky resigns and wishes he didn’t. He shrugs but then points at them all. “I’m coming with you guys.”

“Yay!” The two kids jump.

Then the kids drag Steve and he goes to follow them when Nat and Clint see him leaving. “Where to?”

Bucky just sighs and then says, “Our kids are taking advantage of Steve’s kindness.”

Clint calls for Monty and Dernier to follow them outside. The whole company heads to the backyard and sees the kids’ eager faces as they watch Steve get ready to start his push-ups to warm up. Before he does though, Bucky walks up to him.

“Steve. You don’t have to—“

“Bucky. Relax. I want to. Trust me. They’re gonna have fun and they’d forget about standing on my shoulders.”

Bucky realizes that there’s no hope in stopping this nonsense, so he nods and then helps Kyle sit cross-legged on Steve’s back. He steps back as Steve tilts his head toward the kid who’s holding on to his shirt. “Ready Kyle?”

“Yeah!”

“Remember to count. It’s your call. I’ll stop whenever you want.”

And then he starts and Nicole squeals in delight as she holds on to her dad’s hand. Kyle is yelling, counting and Monty and Dernier join him. Bucky is so nervous he’s chewing his nails. Nat looks at him funny but he ignores her.

Kyle counts to ten and Bucky can’t risk the guy getting hurt. “All right Kyle. That’s enough.”

“Okay.” Then he pats Steve’s moving back. “You can stop now Stevie.”

Steve laughs and lies on his stomach to make sure Kyle dismounts him safely, only to call out to Nicole. “Your turn?”

Nicole runs and tackles Steve. He laughs and goes back to do push-ups and they’re rewarded with the loud laughter of the girl. Then Kyle joins her and the two are sitting on Steve’s strong back as he goes on like they aren’t there.

Kyle yells, “Uncle Bucky. You should try it.”

Clint snickers and Dernier says to Bucky, “ _Ceci est votre chance_ Bucky.” (This is your chance)

Bucky looks daggers at him. “ _Tais toi_.” (Shut your mouth!)

Nat laughs at the kids and yells back, “No honey. Your uncle doesn’t wanna sit on Steve’s back.” Then she turns to Bucky and whispers to him, “He wants to sit on his face.”

Bucky chokes and coughs while Clint chuckles. He wants to strangle her and is horrified that Steve had heard, but looking at his neighbor, he seems to be in another world with the kids laughing on his back.

Nat claps once and says, “Oh that's just easy. Anybody can do that!”  
  
Nicole and Kyle gasp. They pat Steve's back and he stops while they get off him. “No, aunt Nat. It's not easy.”  
  
Steve gets up and sits on his knees breathing heavily and Bucky is worried about where Nat is going with this.  
  
Steve cleans his hands and looks at her. She raises her brow in a challenge. "What if I stand on your back?"  
  
Kyle gasps and walks toward Bucky who puts his arm around him. Monty laughs. "Typical, princess."  
  
"Nat..." Clint starts but she's still looking at Steve, challenging.  
  
Bucky's heart is pounding and he starts to protest when Steve smiles. "Just make sure you take off your heels."  
  
And he gets into position. She high-fives her daughter, takes off her heels and saunters toward him. "You sure neighbor?" She asks him.  
  
"Very sure."  
  
Bucky feels Kyle's arms tighten around his waist and Bucky holds his breath as Nat stands her little feet on his back.  
  
"Ready?" He asks.  
  
"Go on neighbor."  
  
Steve looks up and smiles at Bucky and Kyle. "Keep count."  
  
He lifts up and starts the push-ups. Nat yelps as she spreads her arms for balance and Monty cheers while Dernier drinks from his wine glass, laughing.  
  
"I don't think he's athletic," Clint says in a soft voice.  
  
Bucky turns to him with a bewildered look. "Oh no? He's doing push-ups with that wife of yours--"  
  
"That's not what I meant. I mean...he seems trained. Not anybody can do that so effortlessly unless they were trained somehow..."  
  
Bucky goes silent. What is Clint implying? The guy’s fit. Bucky watches him every morning jogging and exercising. Surly there’s no other explanation. He is only brought back to reality by the sounds of happy screams from Nicole and her mother. He hears them count to fifteen and that’s when Bucky has had enough and disentangles from Kyle and heads toward them.

"All right. That's enough Nat. Don't want you to kill my neighbor."  
  
And he doesn't wait for her. He wraps his arms around her waist and lifts her off Steve’s back. She doesn't protest but laughs as she's put on the ground. "You're no fun James."  
  
"Mommy you were great!"  
  
Nat scoops up her daughter. "Thanks honey. Not as great as Mr. Rogers here."

Bucky goes to help Steve up but his neighbor just jumps back up. “You okay? Sorry about—“

“Bucky, it’s all right.” Steve chuckles breathlessly as he puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder in reassurance.

Bucky looks for anything wrong or if he’s hurt, out of instinct, then Monty comes and puts Steve in a headlock. “Come here chap. You should tell me how to do that. I want to impress some English roses…”

And he drags Steve who looks back helplessly at Bucky before they all disappear back inside. Bucky sighs but notices that Kyle is still standing there, looking worried.

“What’s wrong?” he asks gently as he approaches his nephew.

The kid just whispers, “I’m sorry I made you upset but we wanted to have fun.”

Bucky chuckles and crouches to speak to him. He holds his tiny shoulders and speaks gently, “I’m not upset. I was just worried about you falling or Steve getting hurt…that’s all.”

Kyle doesn’t look up. “Okay. But I didn’t mean to upset you I swear uncle Bucky.”

Bucky shakes his head as he looks at this kid. He’s always been sensitive to the feelings of others.

Bucky kisses his forehead. “I’m not upset, I swear. But I want you to know that we can’t use people’s generosity all the time, you know”

Kyle sighs. “Yeah.” Then he looks up and his eyes twinkle as he plays with a strand of Bucky’s hair. “Isn’t Stevie awesome?”

Then the kid spreads his arms wide. “He’s the BEST neighbor ever and ever!”

Bucky laughs and stands up, scooping Kyle up in his arms. The kid yelps and struggles to get down, but Bucky refuses to let go as he gets inside.

 

***

 

Bucky serves the pizza to everyone’s delight. He has made spaghetti and meatballs for the kids who are still sitting on the dinning table, swapping stories and coloring. The adults wants to carry out their tradition which is to serve everything on the coffee table and sit around it on the floor. Nat is sitting on Clint’s lap as she feeds him some pizza. Monty and Dernier are still drinking and reminiscing. Steve is sitting between Dernier and Bucky and the latter tries his best to make him feel comfortable.

Then Nat makes sure everyone tastes her Sharlotka. She cuts a slice for everyone and Monty swoons.

“You’re _never_ not good in anything princess.”

She smirks at him. “Thank you. That’s what he said.” And she points at her husband who snickers.

The others howl with laughter and Bucky laughs at them but notices Steve blushing a bit. He thinks that Steve’s still not used to this. Maybe with time, they could all be friends. Somehow that makes him smile as he looks at the slice of pizza in his hand.

“ _Où êtes-vous maintenant?_ ” Dernier asks him. (Where are you now?)

Bucky glares at him and says, “Nowhere. Please speak in English.”

Then he goes to get up. “Gonna check on the kids.”

“Oh, let me,” Steve offers but then looks at him. “If that’s okay?”

Bucky looks at him and then nods. He probably needs to get away from his friends or something. Steve carries his slice of pizza with him and leaves. He can hear the little ones cheering when they saw him.

Bucky keeps looking his way until Steve turned to the dinning room. When he turns back, Bucky finds all four pairs of eyes on him. “What?”

“Okay. Since this is a really dangerous territory, we’re going to switch tongue.”

“Russian please,” Nat commands.

Clint groans. “Aw come on! That’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not like that but James,” Monty starts. " _Он так ваш тип_". (He’s so your type)

Bucky stuffs his mouth with one of the cupcakes Steve brought. It’s sinfully delicious and he uses that to avoid talking to them.

Dernier laughs. “ _Я думаю, что это любовь_". (I think it’s love)

He chokes and Clint gets up to pat him on the back. He slaps his hand away and gets up. “Go to hell. All of you.”

“Aww why you gotta include me? I don’t know what they said," Clint says, pouting.

“I’ll translate later babe.” And she drags him back again so she can snuggle on his lap.

Bucky grabs one of the small dessert plates and cuts a slice of Sharlotka and grabs a fork. Steve didn’t try it earlier so he thinks he can go give it to him.

“I’m glad you like it so much James," Nat says.

“It’s not for me. It’s for Steve,” he says casually.

It’s quiet again and he sighs as he looks at them. He should’ve known they’d jump into their own conclusions. “It’s called being a graceful host. So, shut it you dirty minded people.”

“Isn’t he the cutest?” Nat comments as she leans back over Clint's chest, her husband’s arms circle her waist.

He quickly leaves and joins Steve and the kids. He finds them already done eating and resuming their artistic endeavors.

“You finishing up?” he asks them as they keep drawing.

Steve looks up and covers the paper he’s working on. He points at the kids. “They’re really good.”

“Look uncle Bucky. That’s mom standing on Stevie,” Nicole says as she hurries to Bucky’s side.

He puts the plate in front of Steve’s. “You forgot to taste Nat’s Sharlotka. It’s a delicious Russian dessert. She made it herself.”

Then he quickly looks away to Nicole as he feels his cheeks redden. He doesn’t want to see Steve’s reaction. Thankfully, he hears the clank of the fork.

“Let me see Munchkin.” And he laughs as he sees that she took a careful approach drawing her mom, while the others are stick figures. “Wow. That’s really good.”

“I’ll go show mom and dad.” And she runs but then comes back and gives Steve a kiss on the cheek. Bucky raises his brow and then she runs away.

“Wow. Consider yourself lucky pal. The only other person she did that to other than her dad is me. And it took me a long time to get there.”

He smiles when Steve shakes his head in amazement. “She’s adorable. I’m glad she approves of me.”

“Why do you guys always use big words?” Kyle asks, tongue out as he concentrates on drawing something Bucky isn’t sure of.

Steve and Bucky laugh. Then Bucky drags a chair back and sits with them.

 

***

 

The night goes on and the Barton’s are on their way home. Nat carries a sleeping Nicole while Clint says goodbye to the fellas. Bucky sees them at the door and Nat gives Bucky a kiss on the cheek and whispers, “I have theories. But I gotta check some things first. We can’t go on assumptions.”

He frowns. “What?”

“Give me two days. Three maximum.” She then secures her arm on her child’s back and moves to the door. Bucky is walking behind her, and opening the door for her.

“I’m not a client Nat. Sometimes I think you never leave the courthouse. What the heck are you talking about?”

She laughs and in spite of his irritation at her ambiguous remarks he smiles. “I’ll see ya James.”

She leaves and Clint follows after giving him a slap on the back. He watches them as Clint hurries to their car. His heart always aches when he sees them. There’s something about their small perfect family. He wonders if he would one day have that. He has Kyle. He knows he’s got family in him. But…the right partner?

He huffs, shaking his head and gets inside. He groans when he sees his other friends getting ready to leave. “What the hell? Too soon guys.”

“We’re staying for a month James. We’ll see you around.”

“You’ll get sick of us.”

“I can never!” And he hugs Dernier tightly and then Monty. He sighs as he sees them leaving.

He waves at them as they drive off and then closes the door. He remembers that Kyle is still up and when he goes to get him, he sees that he’s still discussing things with Steve.

“Time for bed buddy. Come on.”

“Oh man. But I wanna see your last drawing.” He lets out a long breath and looks sadly at Steve.

Steve starts to gather the art supplies that are scattered all over the table. “Your uncle is right. It’s pretty late. Don’t worry. I’ll finish my last one and put it inside your sketchbook. How’s that?”

Kyle yawns and Steve ruffles his hair. Bucky comes and takes his hand. “Come on. You gotta brush your teeth before you go to bed.”

“All right.” He gets up to go with his uncle but turns to Steve. “Good night Stevie.” And he hesitates but lets go of Bucky’s hand and hugs Steve. Bucky’s heart stops for a bit over the sight and Steve seems to be surprised but then smiles warmly and hugs back.

“Good night buddy.”

Bucky gets a lump in his throat. This is also the first time he sees Kyle behaving that way toward anyone beside Clint. He gets jarred when Kyle runs back to him and then they head to his room. “I’ll be right back Steve.”

He hopes his neighbor will still be there when he gets back and won’t disappear on him.

Kyle washes up, brushes his teeth and wears his pajamas. Bucky tucks him in and then kisses his forehead but Kyle sneaks his arms around his neck and pulls him back in. Bucky laughs and Kyle kisses his cheek.

“This was the BEST night ever and ever! Thanks uncle Bucky for bringing Steve.”

Bucky brushes Kyle’s hair softly and kisses his nose. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

Kyle yawns and Bucky disentangles himself and sees him already drifting asleep. He turns the lights off and leaves the door ajar like always. He sighs as he goes into the living room. He hears clanks and noises in the kitchen and when he goes there, he finds Steve cleaning up.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Bucky asks, frowning.

Steve looks up, his hands covered in soapsuds. “Um…I thought I’d clean up a bit. It’s the least I could do.”

Bucky shakes his head and grabs a towel and hands it over to Steve, shooing him away. “Out, now. My God. You’re making me look like the lousiest host ever.”

“Honestly Bucky it’s no problem---okay, okay!” and laughs when Bucky pushes him out the kitchen.

“Come with me. You didn’t even finish your wine.”

He hands Steve his glass and he starts to clean the dining room as Steve hovers around. “Thanks for the dinner Bucky. That’s some pizza.”

Bucky lifts his head as he picks up Kyle’s pencils and puts them on the table. “Really? Glad you liked it. It’s Mama Barnes’ secret weapon.”

Steve chuckles and leans his hip on the table. Bucky wipes the table and then puts the sketchbook and art supplies aside. Kyle can sort them out tomorrow morning. He huffs a breath and drapes the towel on his shoulder as he moves to the living room, Steve following him.

“At least let me tidy up.”

Bucky shakes his head and changes the subject. “Hope you enjoyed the company too.”

Steve looks at his glass as he swirls the wine there. “Yeah. You’re friends are awesome. I liked that they were … from all over, you know?”

“Yeah. I like to surround myself with people from all different cultures. Why do you think I became a translator?”

He carries the Russian dish and goes to the kitchen, Steve on his heel. “I’ve never met a translator before. How many languages do you speak?”

Bucky grabs a plastic container so he can put the leftovers in. “Four. Italian, Russian, French and German. Five if you count English. I’m proficient in all but I still try not to get German documents as much as possible because I’m not as competent there.”

He looks up and sees a look of amazement on his face. “Wow. That’s so…that’s amazing Bucky.”

Bucky hides his blush by turning around and putting the Sharlotka in the fridge. He clears his throat and then cleans the counter. “How’s your back?”

Steve laughs and sips his wine. “It’s fine Bucky.”

“Sorry about Nat. She gets …”

He doesn’t know what to say as always when it comes to Nat but thankfully Steve asks him, “How did you guys meet?”

“Me and Nat?”

Steve motions with his hand. “All of you.”

Bucky motions for Steve to sit on the stool and he grabs a glass of wine for himself as he sits too on the opposite end of the kitchen island. “I met Monty and Dernier in London when I headed there on a scholarship to one of the best schools for translation. You know…they’re really invested in that profession over there. So, I got my undergrad and graduate degrees over there.”

“Impressive.”

“Thanks. I met those two in school. We hit it off immediately. Nat was getting her law degree there—she’s a lawyer now—and she used to be a tutor for Russian language learners because she's Russian. We all fell in love with her and lucky for us, she didn’t kill us.”

Steve laughs and Bucky joins him. “When Monty called her a princess for the first time, she punched him right in the face and I knew we’d all be friends for life.”

Steve raises his brow. “I heard him a couple of times calling her that tonight.”

Bucky sips his wine as he nods. “Well, she forgave him and he couldn’t stop calling her that. It became an inside joke and he had a crush on her. I think he still does.”

“What about Clint?”

Bucky laughs and Steve smiles, amused. “Oh, boy. Actually it’s one of Kyle’s favorite stories.

“When Kyle was a one year old…a few months after his parents passed away, he got a fever. I freaked out and Ma was out of town that day. I called Nat and she got us to the hospital. The doctor who delivered him and knew my sister Becca wasn’t there. I don’t remember why but anyway, they told us that we had to wait. I held him in my arms while Nat carried out an angry rant at the receptionist. Then Clint comes to sign something—Clint’s a pediatrician—and says to her ‘Hey red. Maybe if you'd stop shouting, someone would help ya out’ and then goes to pass by her. She extends her leg and he trips falling flat on his face…”

Steve snickers and almost spills his wine. Bucky laughs so hard. “Oh God. It was the best thing ever. I laughed at that moment and she just calmed down after that. But the funny thing was that he turned out to be the doctor who saw Kyle that night. Next thing I know she’s giving him her number. Three months later they’re married.”

“Wow. Must’ve been love at first … fight?”

Bucky snorts. “They had a whirlwind romance and I was kinda scared for her feelings you know. I was worried he wasn’t good enough but as soon as I saw how he was with kids…I was sold. Then I had him as Kyle’s pediatrician. Still is.”

“No wonder Kyle loves that story,” Steve says as he gets up and washes his glass.

“Yeah…hey I hope you weren’t annoyed tonight with the kids hogging you all through the night.”

Steve turns as he dries the glass with the towel. “Are you kidding me? I love kids. Their company is joyful. You know, I used to tell Peggy that I…”

Bucky holds his breath as he watches Steve freeze and then hold the glass still in his hand. He must’ve realized that he has shared too much already. Bucky can’t miss this window, so he asks softly, “The woman in the photo?”

“Hmm?” and Steve looks up, eyes a bit wide.

“Peggy? Is she the one in the photo on your wall? I saw it when I got inside to--“

“Yeah. That’s her.”

And then he goes silent but puts the glass next to the sink. He fiddles with the towel and Bucky doesn’t expect him to elaborate only to be surprised when Steve says, “She’s...uh...my ex-fiancé.”

“Oh.”

“My late ex-fiancé.” Then Steve clears his throat and looks up at Bucky with loss in his eyes.

Bucky straightens up in his seat. He totally didn't see that coming. “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. It’s been… a year, so…”

Bucky curses himself inwardly for changing the atmosphere around them. Steve then folds the towel and puts it on the counter. He puts his hands in his pockets and clears his throat. “Uh…It’s getting late. I gotta get going.”

Bucky wants to apologize again, and asks him to sit for a bit more. It’s been so long since he had nice long talks late at night with an adult. Plus, this is their longest conversation to date. He’s finally cracking that armor around Steve. But he knows it isn’t his place. He owes Steve that much.

He nods but then asks him to wait. He gets two plastic containers and puts some leftover pizza and two slices of Sharlotka despite Steve's protests.

“Please. Just take it.”

Steve takes the containers and then heads to the door, Bucky behind him. He opens the door for him and as he steps out into the chilly night, Bucky can’t help but lightly touch his arm.

“Hey?”

Steve turns and there’s that sadness clouding his face again. Bucky thinks carefully and says, “I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t mean to bring it up…”

“You didn’t. It’s okay.”

Bucky nods but apparently the frown on his face prompted Steve to say, “Relax. And thanks for a great dinner and a great…night.”

“I’m glad. Thanks for the cupcakes and thanks for bearing with my loud friends.” He wants to lighten the mood.

“Nah. They were nice enough to welcome me.” Then he nods at Bucky and heads to his house.

Bucky watches him until he’s near his house and then closes the door. He sighs and looks around. His heart aches for his neighbor's sad story. Even though he doesn't know the full story but now he knows why the guy's sad all the time. He doesn't blame him. The passing of his fiance...

"But he said ex-fiance?" Bucky says to himself in the quiet house.

He shrugs and then heads to sleep. He finds himself praying that whatever progress he has made with Steve will not go to waste.

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to make it too long but I couldn't. My muse...
> 
> Hope you like this one ;)

 

 

The next day is Sunday and it’s Bucky’s favorite time of the week, much to Kyle’s dismay. It’s the day where he checks all his e-mails where some agencies contact him about translation work. He gets to sort through all different kinds of offers and choose several of them. Then later he reads them with a big cup of coffee in his home office. He would leave Kyle to work on his schoolwork and watch some TV or play video games.

As Bucky starts to click through some documents to skim them, he notices Kyle passing back and forth outside the door of his office. He always leaves it open in case Kyle wants to come in. Yet, his nephew seems to be hesitant.

Bucky smiles and decides to pretend he doesn’t see him. When it goes on for ten minutes, he sighs and chuckles.

“What is it buddy?” Bucky asks as he swivels in his chair away from the desk.

Kyle stands at the door, his hands clasped together. “Are you busy?”

“Not for you Kyle. Come here.” Bucky beckons for him to come inside.

He notices that Kyle is acting really strange. He hopes that he’s feeling all right. Bucky gets up and quickly crouches in front of him. He touches his forehead.

“You feeling okay? What is it?”

The kid laughs and pushes his hand away. “I’m okay uncle Bucky. Just wanted to ask you something.”

Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. He hates it when Kyle gets sick. His heart would break into thousands of pieces and he’d keep wishing that it were him instead. If he could protect him from everything bad in this world, he would.

“Okay. Shoot.”

“Umm…I…” Kyle stammers and Bucky is really concerned now.

“Come here. Why don’t we sit, huh?” Bucky guides him to the leather couch next to his desk.

When he sits, Bucky wraps his arm around him. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

And Bucky’s mind runs a million mile per second. _What could be troubling him?_ He prays it isn’t a school bullying problem because he will see red and burn everything around him. Kyle's never had that kind of problem. Everybody loves him in his school.

“I want to be an artist,” Kyle admits softly then looks up at Bucky with hopeful eyes.

Bucky huffs out a breath and laughs a bit. “Oh, that’s it?”

Then he kisses the top of his blond head. “You know you can be anything you want bud.”

“Well…I'm not good so I was wondering if we could ask Stevie to teach me. Give me lessons to be better.” Then he gets encouraged a bit and sits on his knees and wraps his arms around Bucky’s neck. “I wanna be a genius like him.”

“A genius, huh? How do you know he’s a genius?”

Bucky almost laughs at the incredulous look Kyle gives him. The ‘Are you serious?’ look.

“Why do I feel like I’m being threatened right now?” Bucky asks.

Kyle loosens his arms around his uncle and sits back. “Didn’t you see what he did yesterday?”

Come to think of it, Bucky didn’t see the work. Only two works and they were both Nicole’s.

He shakes his head and Kyle gasps and says, “Don’t move uncle Bucky. I’ll show you.”

He runs out of the office and Bucky is sitting there thinking of Kyle’s proposition. He cringes as he remembers his big mouth last night because he obviously has opened up some old wounds when he asked Steve about Peggy. The guy probably doesn’t wanna see him right now, let alone agree to such commitment.

Kyle comes back and sits next to Bucky, burying himself to his side. Bucky puts his arm around him as he watches him open the sketchbook. He smiles as he sees Kyle’s attempts at drawing him, drawing Steve doing push-ups, drawing some boxes and objects.

“These are mine,” Kyle starts as he sifts through them. “See why I need lessons.”

Bucky holds one of them. “I don’t know buddy. I say these are really good.”

He looks down and Kyle is giving him that look again. Bucky nods then and says, “Okay. Whatever you say.”

Then there are papers shoved inside the sketchbook. Kyle moves them carefully and Bucky wonders why but as soon as his eyes sees the pictures, his breath catches.

“These are the ones done by Stevie. Look uncle Bucky,” Kyle says softly as he hands him the first of many.

The first one is of Kyle. Done impeccably and captures everything, even his eyelashes. He had his head down, drawing with utter focus. Apparently he sketched it when he was working with them last night.

Bucky gulps as he realizes that his neighbor is actually a real artist. The next Kyle hands him is of Nicole doing a duck face. She probably posed for him. Then the next one is a rough one of Clint and Nat on his lap. The guy has a good photographic memory.

“This one is my favorite,” Kyle says smiling as he hands him the next one.

Bucky’s heart thumps wildly. It’s of him laughing, head thrown back and a glass of wine in his hand. He gulps as he finds that the last one is of him and Kyle wrapping his arms around his waist, looking up at him.

He can feel tears pricking his eyes, making it blurry to see. When did he see them like that? It’s probably the several times he’s seen them like that talking to the neighbors or talking to him for that matter.

“My God...” And he sits straight and runs his hand through his hair. He keeps looking at that last one and Kyle gathers the rest and puts them back gently in the sketchbook.

“He could teach me so many things uncle Bucky. Please?”

Bucky clears his throat and keeps that last one with him and puts it on the small table next to his desk. “Yeah. Sure but we gotta ask him first though. He might be busy or doesn’t want to.”

Kyle nods and then gets up and pulls a still flabbergasted Bucky. “Come on then. Let’s go now.”

Bucky snaps back to reality and then guides Kyle back to the couch. “We can’t go today.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s Sunday. He might be out and about. Plus, he was just here last night and he did all of _that_. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Okay but promise me you won’t go ask him until I get out of school. Wanna go with you.”

Bucky smiles and ruffles his hair. “Fine. I’ll go to him as soon as I drop you off at school.”

“Hey!” Kyle yells and laughs as he jumps on his uncle.

Bucky doesn’t see it coming and falls off the couch, attacked by the little body. Bucky laughs and raises his hands in surrender. “All right! All right! I was just kidding.”

Kyle plays with his long hair and Bucky turns the wheels on him and starts tickling him. “Tickle war!”

“No!”

And the kid gets up and runs out of the office, laughing. Bucky is still on the floor and is sighing as he mentally prepares himself to face Steve again.

He turns to lie face down and groans.

 

***

 

The next day goes as usual. Bucky drops Kyle off at school and gets back to work. When the time comes to pick him up, he smiles at his nephew’s enthusiasm at talking to Steve. He wants to stop by Steve’s on their way home. Bucky refuses and tells him they have enough time.

He gets him to wash up, do his homework while he works a bit on making a decision on which document to do next. He chooses the Italian one. It’s an employment policy for a company. Looks interesting, and a bit long but that’s never stopped him before. He sends his new client his consent and gets to download the full document with instructions on how they want their document formatted.

“I’m ready!” Kyle announces eagerly.

Bucky shakes his head at his nephew and grabs their jackets. He makes sure Kyle is warm and they head to Steve’s. He didn’t see him this morning jogging so there’s a chance he’s not there.

Bucky kind of wishes they won’t find him. He feels awkward after that night. Kyle is skipping next to him. “Come on uncle Bucky.”

And he reaches the door before him. Bucky calls out, “Three knocks, all right?”

Kyle nods and knocks three times. Bucky reaches him and puts his arm around him. They wait and there’s no answer. Bucky even feels the quietness and serenity around.

Kyle looks up at him. “Can I knock again?”

“Sure.”

Three more knocks. They wait and when it seems that Steve's not there, Bucky pats Kyle’s shoulder. “We can come back later.”

Kyle looks disappointed but then a rumbling sound gets their attention and disturbs the peaceful atmosphere. When they turn around, a Harley bike stops in front of the house. For a second Bucky wonders who could it be but then remembers that Steve had mentioned that he had a motorcycle.

The guy is wearing a black leather jacket and takes off his helmet. It’s Steve. He looks like he stepped out of a movie scene. Bucky tries not to swoon. He realizes at that moment that he’s really attracted to the guy. _Really_ attracted to him.

He gulps and then is shaken from his thoughts when Kyle jumps from the steps and runs to Steve, who parks his bike and then holds his helmet. He’s still on it when he sees them.

“Hey guys.” Steve waves at them.

“Wow Stevie. Is this your bike?” Kyle asks excitedly, his eyes wide.

“Yeah it is. You like it?”

Kyle just stares at the bike while Bucky catches up to him, trying not to hurry his steps. He doesn’t want to be that close. He has a feeling that his poor heart won’t handle it. He nods his head Steve’s way. And Steve smiles widely. Bucky relaxes. That means he’s in a good mood and he looks it.

“Wanna go on a ride?” Steve pats the seat.

Kyle gasps and turns to Bucky who immediately shakes his head. “No, absolutely not.”

“Please. Pretty please uncle Bucky?”

Steve gets off his bike and walks toward them. He puts his arm around Kyle. “Come on Bucky. Just around the corner. We’re not even gonna leave the gate.”

The sight of them together standing there makes Bucky pause a bit and really look. It’s like an image that he has dreamed of before. He’s dreamed of having that full family picture and somehow this could be it. This could be what it feels like. His heart whispers to him that this is the perfect picture of a family. This is what he's missing. His mind starts pondering the sweet thought of having Steve as a partner. A life partner. Suddenly, his brain reminds him that Steve is actually straight.

 _Why did I even go there?_ He thinks.

“Bucky?”

“Huh?” He snaps out of his thoughts.

“We were pleading you. Wanna do it again Kyle?”

The kid nods and the two of them sing, “Pleeeaaaseee.”

Bucky laughs in spite of himself and then shakes his head. “But you don’t have a helmet?”

“Sure I do. I got my bicycle’s helmet. I’ll go get it.”

He runs home and Bucky yells, “Careful.”

Steve chuckles and looks at Kyle. Bucky catches the look of fondness on the man’s face. Then his traitorous eyes roam his whole body, his perfect posture but then Steve turns to look at Bucky. Bucky quickly averts his eyes and tries to take deep breaths to calm his beating heart.

“You okay?”

Bucky is startled with the question and how Steve seems to be closer. “Uh yeah.”

Steve’s eyes soften. “Don’t worry. I swear I won’t go fast. It’s just around the corner.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

Then it’s quiet and Steve plays with his helmet. And Bucky is dying inside and wants anything to break the ice. So he starts, “Uh. So Kyle showed me the drawings.”

He notices Steve still for a second before pink colors his face. “Oh. I hope that was okay that I drew you guys—“

“Are you kidding me? That was...amazing. Are you an artist?”

Steve rubs his neck and seems to look nervous for a second but then sighs. “No. It’s just a hobby. Although I’m starting to take it seriously these days.”

“As you should.” Bucky smiles warmly his way.

Then they see Kyle running up to them. Bucky motions for him to slow down.

“Okay. I got my helmet.”

Bucky’s heart is heavy at the prospect of having him ride the motorcycle. But he takes solace in the fact that Steve is a very capable guy. Fingers crossed. Plus, that excited face of Kyle. He can't let him down. That kid is his kryptonite.

“Let me see.” Bucky crouches and fastens the helmet on the little kid’s head. Then knocks on it lightly. Kyle laughs and then goes to Steve who’s already on the bike.

“Hey. Give me a kiss.”

Kyle giggles and then smacks a big one on his cheek. “Silly uncle Bucky. I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky gulps and then looks up and sees Steve looking at them fondly. Bucky walks Kyle up to him and Steve scoops him up and seats him in front of him.

“Uh Steve…” He doesn’t know what to say. This is the first time Kyle has ridden with someone other than him, let alone ridden a motorcycle.

“Don’t worry Bucky. I’ve got him,” Steve says softly in reassurance. It seems that he has felt his fear.

Bucky is trying to say something but can’t get the words out. So he just nods and watches as Steve starts up the bike and Kyle shrieks which makes Steve laugh out loud.

“Ready buddy?”

“Yes!”

Steve secures him between his arms and asks him to hold on to his arms or the hand grip themselves. Kyle chooses the arms since he can’t reach them. Then the engine rumbles. They’re off and Bucky’s heart is racing as he watches them drive slowly to the end of the street and turn around the corner.

There’s the faint sound of laughter that fades away and Bucky is left there standing; the birds chirping is his sole company. He rubs his face with his hands. He’s being ridiculous. He can hear the engine getting closer and then they’re back from behind the houses.

He lets out a long breath as he hears Kyle’s nonstop, excited ramblings. Then he notices that Steve is driving one-handed and the other one is around Kyle. Bucky’s grateful but he doesn’t want to see that again. It looks dangerous.

They stop on the driveway and Bucky is trying to play it cool, so he just walks to them. Steve takes off his helmet first and then gets off, carrying Kyle with him. The kid takes off his helmet and then runs to Bucky. His uncle can’t help but pick him up, hugging him tightly.

“Oh my God uncle Bucky!! Did you see me? Did you see me?”

Bucky laughs and Steve comes over, running a hand through his hair. “I did. How was it?”

“Oh my God. I can’t wait to tell Nicole. You gotta make me call aunt Nat and uncle Clint and Nicole. You just gotta.”

“I will. Wow. It must’ve been magical.”

“It was.”

Then he puts him down and Kyle spreads his arms wide. “This is the BEST day ever and ever!”

Steve and Bucky both laugh and Steve leans over. “You gotta a lot of those, don’t you?”

Kyle giggles and he hugs Bucky’s side. Bucky then squeezes his shoulder and says, “Now that Steve is here, do you wanna say something Kyle?”

“Thanks Stevie.”

“You’re so welcome.” And Steve leans to ruffle Kyle's hair.

Bucky looks at his nephew. “What else?”

He tugs at Bucky’s arm and he leans over only to have him whisper. “You do it.”

Bucky chuckles and looks at Steve. “We’re wondering if you could uh…give Kyle art lessons. That is if you have time.”

To his relief Steve beams. “Of course! I’d love to. I’d be honored.”

“Yes!” Kyle pumps his fist in the air.

The adults laugh at him. Bucky says, “Cool. I appreciate it.” Then he turns to Kyle. “Why don’t you go put your helmet back and call Nicole huh?”

“Okay. Bye Stevie.”

“Bye.”

Then he runs home and Bucky sighs. That kid never likes to walk.

When he turns back to Steve, the guy is staring at him. “You seem shaken.”

Bucky frowns. “Who me? No, I’m just…”

“He’s never been out of your sight or ridden with anyone.”

“How’d you figure that one out?”

Steve smirks. “Deduction skills.”

“Yeah, well. Today went well, so maybe I should loosen up a bit.”

Steve turns his helmet around in his hands and Bucky then looks away from his hands. He has beautiful hands.

 _What the fuck is wrong with me today?_ Bucky thinks.

“So, I was thinking three sessions a week. Maybe. What do you think?” Bucky asks.

“Whatever you want. I’m game either way.”

“Okay. I think three is good with his school and such. How much would that be?”

Steve’s face changes and Bucky groans. “Oh, come on. You gotta name your price. I can’t have you give up your time for nothing.”

Steve looks insulted. “It’s not for nothing. I’m teaching him something valuable. _Him_ learning is my payment.”

Bucky raises his brow. “You do realize that I’m not gonna buy that, right?”

Steve chuckles and looks away. Bucky steps closer. “Listen. Either you settle it or I’ll just pay you.”

“So if I say two dollars a session you’d accept?”

Bucky looks at him as if he grew two heads. “What the hell is that? Be serious.”

“I am.” But Steve’s laugh contradicts that statement.

“All right. You give me a reasonable amount or there won’t be sessions.”

Steve raises his brow and then says, “You’re telling me that you’d rather let that kid down than let me do it for free?”

Bucky stares him down, then huffs out a laugh. “Damn it. You know how to play, don’t you?”

“I know a trick or two.” And Steve gives him a playful look. Bucky tries not to blush and then puts his hands in his pockets.

“Just give me a number please?”

“Fine. A dollar a session is all I want.”

Bucky tries not to scowl but the nonchalant look on Steve’s face makes him burst out laughing and the other one joins him.

“Come on." Bucky motions with his hand. "Meet me half way here. I wanna be able to sleep at night.”

Steve sighs. “All right. I get it. How about I think about it and let you know after the first session?”

“Okay. Shake on it?”

And he extends his hand and Steve takes it. Bucky gulps as he feels the strong handshake. His mind is starting to imagine things that he shouldn’t at that moment. So, he takes his hand back and smiles his way.

“Is tomorrow good?”

Steve thinks a bit. “Actually can we make it after tomorrow? Gotta prepare some stuff.”

“Sure. No problem. See you Wednesday at six.”

He nods and then turns and heads to his house. As he walks, he’s very conscious of Steve being there and glances back and smiles as he sees that the guy is still standing there on his lawn, his hands playing with the helmet.

Bucky quickly turns back and feels his face heat up as he mutters, “Damn it.”

 

***

 

Bucky doesn’t sleep that night. He has started translating the new document and doesn’t want to stop. He’s in the head space and doesn’t even want sleep to interrupt.

So he keeps drinking coffee all night long. He only spares himself an hour of sleep and then back to translating. The subject matter is not unfamiliar, but it’s a long one. He wants to finish the translation process so he can have more time editing the whole thing. He likes to marinate on the editing step more than anything. It’s where he excels.

He’s still typing away, consulting dictionaries and databases when it’s time to wake Kyle up for school. He makes new coffee for him and wakes the kid up. As always, he drinks his coffee watching Steve jog shirtless in the morning. Then he gets Kyle ready and they leave for school.

When he gets back home, he grabs a bagel, makes new coffee for himself and settles at his desk. He sighs when he sees that he has five more pages. He needs to be done with it so he can return to it with fresh eyes. The eyes of an editor.

 

Bucky is so engrossed in the text he's reading that he doesn't hear the knock on his door.  
  
He rubs his eyes and looks up and almost startles. Steve is standing there in his office, hand on the door.  
  
"Steve? What--how did you get in?"  
  
He's standing there in his jogging shorts and headphones and in all his ‘shirtlessness’ glory. He takes off his headphones when he sees that Bucky is aware of him.  
  
"The door was open and I thought it was strange. I…I thought I'd check up on you."  
  
Bucky doesn't remember he left the door open. Maybe he forgot because he was thinking of the assignment. He rubs his face and gets up and walks from behind his desk. "What is it? You look troubled."

Steve walks closer and fidgets then sighs. He looks up and Bucky notices something different about him. A determined look. Not the usual lost one.

“I thought about the payment.”

“Oh?” and Bucky smiles. “Finally. You’ve got your senses back.”

He goes to sit but stops when he sees Steve stride toward him and halts just a breath away. Bucky stills and holds his breath. _What the hell…?_

His hand is holding the edge of his desk. “Steve…What are you…”

His neighbor’s eyes are frantic as they search Bucky’s face and the latter is trying his best not to choke. He needs air. Steve has no right to be _this_ close to him.

“I’ll take this as payment,” Steve whispers.

Bucky is trying not to shiver. He whispers back, “Take what?”

The words are barely out of his mouth before Steve’s mouth lands on Bucky’s in a crushing kiss. Bucky staggers back and his lower back digs into the desk. He can feel Steve's lush and warm lips. He knows it’s wrong and they really should talk but finds himself opening his mouth to Steve and letting himself be devoured.

He moans and feels his ears ringing. His heart is beating so fast he fears it’d burst out of his chest. The need for air is persistent, so he breaks the kiss. Steve is relentless and slides his mouth in open kisses across his cheek, jaw, and finally his neck. He bites there and Bucky’s gone.

Completely gone.

He groans and holds Steve’s head there, running his fingers through the soft golden hair and grips on tightly when Steve bites again.

It’s been _so long_. So long since he felt the touch of someone, the crave, the passion. He’s thirsty for it but it’s unlike him. He has to control himself.

So he stutters, “Steve…We gotta…”

And Steve actually growls and snakes his arms under Bucky’s thighs and lifts him to seat him on the desk, swiping it, scattering the papers on the floor in the process. He pulls Bucky to him and Bucky feels them touching everywhere and he moans and moans as Steve grinds up against him.

Bucky can’t help but roam his hands over the bare muscled back as he realizes that they’re basically dry humping and that’s not how he pictured it would happen with with Steve.

He wants to say something, anything but his breath leaves him as Steve’s hands grab his ass and squeezes him closer to him.

“Oh God…Oh!” Bucky gasps into the room, arching his back in pure ecstasy.

Bucky feels like he’s going to come just from that and from Steve’s growls as he keeps moving his hips in sinful ways. Bucky musters a bit of energy and semi-courage and slides his hands under the waistband of Steve’s shorts. He doesn’t want to think about his actions now. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him.

He can’t breathe and he’s gasping when Steve sucks on a spot below his collarbone and practically lays him down on the desk. Bucky can’t do anything but welcome the hunger coming from Steve in waves.

"Steve...Steve..." Bucky moans his name.

“I’ve wanted you ever since I saw you,” Steve gasps into his mouth.

Bucky is getting cross-eyed at Steve’s close face and he’s trying really hard to breathe but can’t and instead feels Steve moving on top of him. He finds himself wrapping his legs around Steve’s waist tightly. Steve takes that as a cue and pushes his hips harder into him and Bucky moans loudly and his head thumps back. He feels pure ecstasy.

Everything feels alive inside him and he’s burning. Burning and can’t feel satiated. Steve isn’t planning on stopping and continues on kissing along his neck. Bucky closes his eyes but feels something digging into his forearm. With every thrust of Steve’s hips, he feels that pain until it becomes too much.

So he tries to sit up and moves whatever is bugging him but it won’t budge and then it persists.

“Urgh…”

And Steve isn’t helping with his delicious mouth trying to claim his. Strangely, he can't feel what his lips taste like. He kisses Steve hard and breathes him and is rewarded with Steve moaning and pushing and pushing until Bucky can feel the desk moving a bit.

He’s so sure he’s going to come in his pants like a teenager. He’s so close. He can feel the pleasure threatening to consume his body.

That thing is digging in his forearm until he’s had enough and pushes on it hard and it’s dropped.

A loud noise rings into his ears and jars him.

 

He jolts awake and finds himself lying down on his desk, his head rested on his hands and papers.

His stapler is on the hardwood floor.

With a panicking feeling, he realizes that there’s no Steve. No sounds of labored breaths. No moans or groans or heat. Bucky finds himself sitting at his desk. He must’ve fallen asleep out of tiredness. Yet, his heart is beating so fast, and his hand goes to his neck as he gulps. He’s breathing hard as he can still feel the heavy body of Steve on him. His hips…his lips…

It has felt so real. To his utter horror he finds himself hard. Very hard.

“No, no, no, no.” He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He can’t believe he just had a wet dream about his neighbor. _No. This can’t happen. At all._

He grips the arms of his chair as he takes deep breaths. He’s trying to will his hardness to go away.

“I’m not going to jerk off. I’m not!” He keeps telling himself that in the empty house.

He tries to think of sad things. _Dead puppies. Dead puppies. Dead puppies._ It doesn’t work so he gets up and paces. He runs his hands through his greasy hair which makes him grimace. He needs a shower.

“No!” He says out loud because he knows what he’s gonna do if he goes there. He looks at the clock and it's still not noon yet.

So, he grabs his jacket and leaves to take a walk in the park, hoping the cold air would ease his frustration.

The damned document can wait a bit.

 

***

 

The next day is Wednesday, which means the first day of having the art sessions. Bucky is dreading the whole thing after his shameful dream.

The morning doesn’t go as usual. Bucky gets Kyle's lunch ready sure but when he drinks his coffee, he avoids the kitchen window. No need to stare today. He doesn't want another dream thank you very much.  
  
They leave the house, and as soon as he leaves the driveway, they pass by Steve's house and Bucky almost groans when he sees the guy doing push-ups.  
  
"Uncle Bucky stop. Stop, I wanna say hi to Stevie."  
  
"Kyle--"  
  
"Please."  
  
Bucky stops the car and Steve smiles when he notices them. He springs up and comes over. Steve makes his way toward his window and Bucky is trying not to die when Steve stretches his arms on the hood, making his muscles flex.  
  
Kyle jumps in Bucky's lap making him moan in pain.  
  
"Ow."  
  
"Sorry." Then Kyle looks up at Steve as the adult leans over his window. "Hi Stevie."  
  
"Hi Kyle. Hi Bucky."  
  
And Bucky is looking ahead with no intention of turning to his left. He already sees out of his peripheral vision the stretch of muscles covering his window. _It's not fair._  
  
"Can't wait for our lesson today Stevie."  
  
"Me too buddy."  
  
Bucky says tonelessly, "Come on. Go back to your seat and fasten your belt."  
  
Kyle goes back and sits. Bucky feels Steve lean closer and says cheerfully, "Hey Bucky. I decided on the payment. I have a feeling you'll approve."  
  
Bucky freezes and feels his face burn with embarrassment. How's this his life?  
  
_Damn you brain!_  
  
He huffs a nervous laugh and looks ahead, having no intention of looking Steve's way. "Okay. Glad you made up your mind."  
  
He clears his throat and busies himself by checking that Kyle's seat belt is fastened.  
  
"I already did it uncle Bucky."  
  
Bucky smiles. "I know. Just checking."  
  
When he sits back, he feels a touch on his forearm. He flinches and looks to his left. Apparently his odd reaction caused the look of confusion and trouble on Steve’s face.

"You okay Bucky?" He asks with concern in his voice.  
  
"Yeah. Sure."  
  
"Well, you don't look--"

"I'm all right. Just a lot on my mind."  
  
Steve nods, steps back, arms crossed over his chest. Bucky avoids looking at his fallen face and says, "We gotta go. See you at six."  
  
And he doesn't wait for Steve's reply.  
  
He drives away all the while cursing himself inwardly. That's why he hates that he had that dream. He knew it would get weird and he tells himself he has to forget it. He can't let it affect his interaction with Steve. The guy already looks like he's feeling guilty. It's not his fault and he didn't intend to make him feel that way but...  
  
He has to compose himself next time. He doesn't want to make Steve feel that there's anything different or awkward between them. He enjoys his company and he'd like more of it.  
  
"Uncle Bucky!"  
  
Bucky turns and finds himself already parked at school and Kyle already has opened the door.  
  
"Uh yeah Kyle?"  
  
"You didn't kiss me goodbye. What's wrong?"  
  
Bucky shakes his head, smiles and leans over to kiss his nephew on the forehead.  
  
"Sorry. Was just thinking."  
  
Kyle looks at him like he's trying to solve something. Then Bucky laughs at the kid. "I swear I'm okay."  
  
Then Kyle sighs, leans over and motions for Bucky to lean in. When he did, he reached with his small hand and ran it over Bucky's forehead and brows, easing the worrying lines.  
  
"Don't worry. Be happy."  
  
Bucky opens his eyes and tries not to cry as he sees Becca's resemblance in his face. His eyes are hers. And he's the brightest kid ever.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Kyle smiles and then leaves, closing the door and skipping to the big doors of his school.  
  
If only it were that easy.

 

***

 

On his way home, he looks guiltily over Steve's house. No sign of him and he feels his heart heavy. He had to go and ruin it. He thinks he'll wait for their session that evening so he can apologize to the guy for his rude behavior.

When pulls up his driveway, he sees Nat waiting at their door. He gets out of the car, frowning. He's surprised to see her. Usually, she doesn't make house calls unless there's a really difficult case where she wants to kill her client or the plaintiff. So she comes over to vent.  
  
"To what do I owe this really early visit?" He asks as he opens the door and she marches inside, in her black suit and thin red belt. And red heels.  
  
"Can't I just miss you or Kyle?"  
  
"Kyle is at school and you know that."  
  
His first in instinct is to be concerned but the smirk and giddiness about her eases him a little.  
  
"Pour me a drink will ya?"  
  
And they go to the kitchen and he pours her a glass of wine while he drinks his coffee.  
  
She sits at the high stool and he stands at the other end. Waiting.  
  
Seconds after her first sip, she puts her suitcase on the kitchen island and takes out a huge brown folder. Stacked with papers.  
  
She slides it toward him and he groans. "God Nat. How many times have I told you to give me a heads up if you need something to be translated?  Just because I'm freelance doesn't mean..."  
  
He stops as soon as he opens the folder to a photo of Steve Rogers, his neighbor, attached to a report. His eyes linger a bit on the photo, where Steve is in a suit, before he realizes the content of the document. He quickly closes it and throws it on the counter with a force.  
  
"What the fuck is _this_?" He's trying really hard not to raise his voice but he can't stop the anger surging through him.  
  
"Everything about your wonderful neighbor," she purrs.  
  
He rubs his temple and tries to choose his words wisely. "What...what the fuck Nat? Why would you go snooping around?"  
  
"Someone had to."  
  
"And you think I wanted you to do that, huh? If I wanted to know anything about him, I'd ask him himself!!"  
  
"Really James?"  
  
"Yes. I know enough."  
  
"Surprise me."  
  
"All I care about is that he's a nice guy who definitely minds his own business. And Kyle likes him."  
  
She points at him. "That! That right there is what made me snoop around. I couldn't sleep peacefully until I knew who he was."  
  
Bucky throws his hands in the air. "That's what you don't get! I don't need that from you. _We_ don't. What did you think? That he's a psychopath?"  
  
She snorts. "Believe me. I'm a lawyer. I've seen my share of false pretenses."  
  
"Give me credit will ya? I can read people too."  
  
"Like you did Craig?"  
  
Silence overwhelms the kitchen and he wishes he could hurt her back but he can't. It’s not in him. He hates that about himself.

She softens. "I'm sorry but it's not in your nature to assume the worst about people."  
  
"And life is not a courthouse Nat!"  
  
He doesn't want to get riled up. How did his morning turn out to be the worst? He pours away his coffee and makes himself a new one. He's putting water when she starts.

"He's a former FBI agent."  
  
He stops and tries to process the information. Everything makes sense now. The way his body is fit, the running, the fitness and just earlier today...deduction skills...  
  
"And he quit because according to him corruption is all around. He couldn't --"  
  
"Stop."  
  
Then he turns and takes the folder and shoves it in her face and she takes it cautiously, staring at him.  
  
"Stop it. I don't wanna know. I'll know if he wants to share. My God...it's like you don't know me at all."  
  
She looks at him intently and he holds her gaze when she whispers, "You like him."  
  
"Of course I do. He's my neighbor."  
  
She shakes her head, her green eyes smiling. "No. I think you _like him_ like him."  
  
He grips the counter forcefully. "It's a matter of principle Nat. You know how I feel about this. Just because it's fine with you, it's not fine with me."  
  
He breathes hard and she looks at him more then goes back to her drink. She puts the folder back and goes to stand up.  
  
He's still mad at her but she goes and hugs him. He doesn't hug her back and she shakes him.  
  
"We don't part angry at each other. Hug me back."  
  
Bucky let's out a breath and hugs her back. "Never do that Nat. Not with me."  
  
She breaks away from him, smiles and puts her hand on his shoulder. "Please don’t think I regret what I did because I don’t. Now I can sleep easily and peacefully."  
  
He frowns and then she gulps the last of her drink and turns to him. "For what it's worth...he's a good guy."  
  
Bucky huffs. "I knew that already. Didn't need your spy minions."  
  
She smiles gently and shakes her head. "No Bucky. He's a _really_ good guy. Heroic even. You have no idea. The things he did..."  
  
Then he holds his breath, dying to know but can't ask. Not like this.  
  
Nat carries her suitcase and says before leaving, "Say hi to him for me, will ya?"

He keeps standing there in the kitchen as he hears the door of the house close. He doesn't know what to do with that piece of information Nat gave him.

A former FBI agent.

He runs his hands through his hair. He doesn't need this. Not now. Not when he has to deal with his silly attraction to the guy. He pours himself a cup of coffee and goes to his office to resume working on his translation.

As he sits there, the coffee cup on the desk, the computer on, he can't help but revel in the fact that Steve is a good guy.

Nat's word rings in his ears. _Heroic_.

His heart swells and he finds himself smiling warmly at the confirmation.

Steve Rogers is a really good guy.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A feel of domesticity...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. Life happened. But I promise no more delays unless life throws me a huge curveball. I had to cut this Chapter in half, creativity wise.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

It's five o'clock and Bucky quickly makes sure the dinning table is set for Kyle's first art session. His smile doesn't leave his face as he watches Kyle getting excited. He hasn’t stopped talking about Steve and art and everything he wants to do. Bucky watches him get all his supplies on the table, changing their arrangement every five minutes. Bucky can’t help it and kisses him loudly on the cheek.  
  
"Uncle Bucky! I'm busy,” Kyle huffs.  
  
"Yes, I can see that."  
  
Bucky ruffles his hair and then leaves him to the kitchen to bake what he’s best at. He decides on apple cinnamon pie. He can't have a guest without offering them something. His Ma would scold him for being inhospitable. He can hear her voice sometimes.  
  
Forty minutes later and he's done. The pie is in the oven. He washes up and goes out to the living room to see Kyle waiting by the window. He pauses a bit. The kid is eager to say the least.  
  
"Hey Kyle. Whatcha doing?”

"Waiting for Stevie."  
  
Bucky comes and stands behind him. "You don't have to do that in front of the window."  
  
"I know, but I wanna open the door before he knocks." And he smiles widely as if that would be his biggest achievement.  
  
Bucky sighs and then pats him on the back. "You call me if you see him. Gotta be in my office."

After ten minutes and right on the dot, Kyle yells for him and Bucky logs off and walks to the door to find Kyle standing by it. Bucky is trying to act as chill as possible and remind himself that he owes the guy some sort of apology.  
  
Kyle opens the door as soon as he sees Bucky nodding to him.  
  
"Stevie!"  
  
And Bucky holds the door and sees Steve inside. Yet, his eyes catch Kyle hesitating on hugging Steve. Then he comes and stands next to Bucky.  
  
"Hey Kyle." Then turns to Bucky. "Hey."  
  
"Hi," Bucky says softly.  
  
Steve’s holding a big paper bag and hands it over to Kyle. "How about you take this and wait for me? Don't look inside. Gotta talk to your uncle first."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Kyle takes it and runs to the dinning room. Bucky holds his breath and tries to really forget how Steve's hips had felt in his dream.  
  
"Listen Bucky. I'm sorry if I did something to bother you or...I mean earlier today…"  
  
He looks so troubled and Bucky hates himself. He holds his hand out.  
  
"No, no. God, if anyone should apologize, it's me. I had a lot on my mind this morning. I got a new document to translate and it's ... It's nothing you did."  
  
Steve looks so relieved and lets out a breath. "Good. I was so worried that I offended you somehow."  
  
Bucky guides him to the dinning room. "No, you didn’t. Here, I thought it'd be better to have you guys here."  
  
"Excellent."  
  
Steve goes and sits next to Kyle and gets out some art supplies that Bucky has no idea what they are. He wishes he could sit with them but he's got to finish baking the pie.  
  
He goes to the kitchen and checks on it. It smells delicious. He goes to make coffee but isn’t sure how Steve takes it so he goes to them and pauses a bit at the sight. They’re huddled together and Steve is showing him, teaching him the terminology of all kinds of brushes and pencils.  
  
He walks slowly and then Steve notices and looks up smiling.  
  
"Was gonna ask how you take your coffee...unless you want something else or..."  
  
"I take mine black."  
  
Bucky nods and then leaves to make it. The pie is ready, so he gets it out, cuts two slices and sprinkles a bit of cinnamon on top. He serves it to them and Kyle squeals in delight.  
  
"Stevie, you gotta try it. It’s the BEST pie ever and ever!" And spreads his arms wide like usual when he makes such declarations.  
  
"Why don't we wait and see if he likes it?" Bucky asks as he hands each of them their pieces.  
  
"I’m sure it's heavenly," Steve says softly and Bucky blushes and wishes that he had his hair down. He had to tie it in a bun when he cooked and forgot about it.  
  
"Seriously Bucky, you didn't have to,” Steve says as he picks up his fork.  
  
"Come on. It's nothing."  
  
Kyle takes a bite and hums. "You're a guest Stevie and we should always be um...What's the word grandma uses?"  
  
And he turns to Bucky who can’t help but laugh. "Hospitable."  
  
Steve chuckles but then addresses Bucky who's standing over Kyle looking at them. "Your sheer company is hospitable enough for me."  
  
Bucky's heart flutters. He tries not to blush at the innocent compliment but he can't help it and curses his cheeks for reddening.  
  
"I'll leave you guys then. If you need me, I'll be in my office."

 

***

 

He takes a pie for himself to get energized as he works. He looks over and it’s been an hour and a half. He rests his back and sighs happily as he writes the last sentence. He stretches and closes his eyes in the process.

A knock at the door startles him. He shoots up straight when he sees that it's Steve at the door, looking sheepish.  
  
Bucky's mind immediately reverts to flashes of his dream and he stands abruptly, scattering the papers on his desk. "Hey!"  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous. Of course."  
  
Bucky gets the papers back on the desk and motions for Steve to enter the office. He has to blabber otherwise his eyes will glance back at the desk. The desk where...  
  
_Dear God. Please make it stop._  
  
" _Merda!_ " He swears. ( _Shit!_ )  
  
"What language is that?" Steve asks, smiling.  
  
Bucky smiles and say, "Sorry. My mind is still in the source language. That was Italian."  
  
Steve stands in the middle of the office, hands in pockets and glances around with pure interest. "Impressive collection you got here. God...I'm so impressed Bucky.” He turns and smiles, "I've never met a translator of your caliber before."  
  
"Please. I'm nothing compared to the people I know. I have a friend who speaks seven languages."  
  
"That's what brings me to the payment part," Steve says excitedly.  
  
Bucky waits, and wills his face not to turn red. "Yeah?"  
  
"I don't want the money. I wanna learn a second language and I want you to teach me."  
  
Bucky's surprised face must've been what caused Steve to laugh. He certainly didn't see that coming.  
  
"Oh, wow."  
  
"I thought for every session you'd give me a lesson. That way Kyle and I both get something valuable."  
  
Bucky crosses his arms over his chest. "You really wanna learn a new language?"  
  
"Yes. Truly."  
  
"But...” Bucky waves his hand in the air trying to express his thoughts. “Uh…I'm not a teacher. I mean...I never taught anything or anyone."  
  
"Come on. You do it everyday with Kyle I'm sure."  
  
Bucky rubs the back of his neck. "Well..."  
  
"Are you trying to let me down easily?" Steve asks with a smile.  
  
"No. No. I'd love to.” Then Bucky shrugs. “It's just...learning a language needs a full commitment. It’s intensive."  
  
"I've got nowhere to go."  
  
Bucky let's out a small laugh. "Fine. But I gotta warn ya, it needs your full commitment."

Steve puts his hand over his heart. "You have my word."

Bucky smiles and motions for him to sit down. When he sits next to him, he asks, "What language do you wanna learn?"

Steve shrugs. "I don't know. Whichever you think is easier to acquire next?"

"Hmm…I'd recommend Italian. There are a lot of terms that are similar to English. I'd have chosen Spanish but I don't speak it unfortunately."

"Italian it is."

Bucky narrows his eyes at him. "Are you really serious about this or are you just trying _not_ to make me pay you?"

Steve laughs. "I swear to you I want this. I'm genuinely eager to learn."

"Okay, well..." He gets up and heads to the bookshelf behind his desk, scanning the books. "Well, let me give you something to read before we start...there's this book I bought when I first wanted to learn Italian. Mind you, it's just phrases and terms. Aha! Here it is."

He turns and finds Steve literally standing behind him. "Oh."

Thankfully, Steve's eyes are scanning the shelf. "I miss reading you know."

Bucky clears his throat and feels his heart beating so fast. He's starting to think he may have a heart attack. He has to compose himself. He's gonna spend more time with the guy in the near future, so he might as well start practicing.

He turns back to the shelf. _Maybe not today_ , he thinks.

"I may have something useful that will help with the learning but also make you enjoy reading again."

He hands him over a book about the Italian culture. "Two birds with one stone."

Steve holds the book and flips through it. "That's so enriching. I'll give it back once I'm done."

Bucky waves him off. "Take your time. I read it three times."

"I'm done!" Kyle's voice interrupts them. 

They both turn and Steve takes Kyle to sit with him on the couch and show him his last assignment. "Wow. Good job. Next time we're drawing fruit."

Bucky watches them then walks to Kyle. The kid raises his paper. "See?"

Bucky sees semi-proportioned boxes. And the shading is what impresses him most. He touches it gently. "Wow Kyle. I'm so proud buddy."

Kyle smiles widely and then buries himself into the couch while he fixes his drawing here and there. Steve smiles at Bucky who raises his brow at the kid. 

"What's for dinner uncle Bucky?"

Bucky ruffles his hair and hums. "We had pizza last night. What do ya say I cook us some pasta?"

"Yes!" Then turns to Steve who’s been sitting there, busy looking at his fingers. Very reserved all of a sudden. "What about you Stevie? Do you like pasta?"

Bucky is surprised that Kyle just assumed Steve would eat dinner with them. Apparently, with the look on Steve's face, he shares his sentiment.

"Uh..." Then looks at Bucky helplessly. But Bucky finds himself siding with his nephew.

"You're having dinner with us by the way."

"Yes!" Kyle exclaims then continues to shade the figures on his paper.

Steve looks conflicted. "Bucky... Thanks but I can't."

"Why?” Bucky can’t help himself in pursuing this. “You got somewhere to go?"

Steve frowns. "Um, no."

"You got work to do?"

"No."

"Then you're staying."

Bucky shuts down his protests by pulling Kyle up and carrying him. He looks at his nephew and asks, "Kyle, what's gonna happen if we let Stevie leave without dinner?"

Kyle, with his legs wrapped around Bucky's waist and an arm around his neck, gasps. "Grandma will get angry."

Steve chuckles then and Bucky joins him before saying, "I, for one, wanna escape Ma's wrath."

"What's wrath?" Kyle asks, furrowing his brows at Bucky

Steve gets up, hands in pockets. "Means strong anger."

Kyle shakes his head as if he’s disappointed somehow. "What's with the big words? _Why_?"

Bucky gives him a big kiss on his cheeks and Kyle wiggles out of his arms in protest. Bucky lets him go and he runs away.

When Bucky turns around, he finds Steve look distraught in a way. His eyes has that lost look again. Bucky doesn’t ask and only says, "The pasta won't take long."

Steve clears his throat. "Bucky..."

"Come on. Don't sweat it." And leaves Steve in his office and heads to the kitchen.

 

***

 

Bucky gets everything ready, ties his hair back and starts on another infamous tomato sauce. 

Steve shows up minutes later. "Can I at least help?"

Bucky scoffs. "Unless you want my Ma to kill me…this is a secret recipe Steve. You can't get involved."

Steve raises his hands in surrender. 

"Let me at least do something."

"How about you sit there, sip some wine and chat with me."

Bucky gets him a bottle and a glass and Steve sits on a stool that's in front of Bucky, watching as he cuts the ripe tomatoes, the pasta cooking behind him. 

"God, you know, it's probably better that I'm not helping."

Bucky slides the tomatoes in the pot and turns back to Steve. "Why?"

"I'm the worst cook ever!"

Bucky chuckles. "Come on. No one is that bad. It’s all about practice."

Steve takes a sip of his wine. "Oh, believe me. Peggy used to..."

Bucky glances his way quickly before he turns to add the spices. He decides to tread smoothly. He speaks like nothing is weird, his back to Steve. "She used to kick you outta the kitchen, I'm sure."

He waits with bated breath as he stirs.

Steve sighs then chuckles and Bucky relaxes. "Actually it was the other way around."

Bucky turns, smiles his way, then heads to the fridge. "How so?" He closes it with his foot after he retrieves the vegetables and the Parmesan cheese.

"She's...I mean... _was_ a terrible cook. And she used to laugh at me. But man she was worse than me."

Bucky smiles his way and starts cutting the salad. "And how did you guys eat?"

"Delivery. Or we went out."

"Aw man."

Steve shrugs. "I tried my best, but I once burned a grilled cheese sandwich."

"You're a hopeless case then." Bucky says smiling Steve's way.

"Hey," Steve raises his finger and points at Bucky. "At least I didn't boil water in the microwave."

Bucky looks horrified. "No one does that Steve."

"Peggy did." Steve laughs a bit and then quiets down. Bucky steels a glance and sees that he’s looking down his glass, probably lost in memories.

"Here," and he slides the bowl of salad toward him. "You're allowed to season it. Think you can do that?"

"Well, I'm not _that_ hopeless Bucky," Steve says as he takes the oil, vinegar and seasoning bottles from Bucky.

"I don't know...based on what you said, I shouldn't even have you near my kitchen."

Steve seasons the salad and chuckles. "You're a jerk."

"And you're a punk."

Bucky looks over at him. Steve is careful with tossing the salad and turning the greens gently with two wooden spoons, a warm smile on his face.

Bucky feels like he conquered the world.

 

***

 

The pasta turns out great. They sit in the dinning room. Not only do they eat but they also share stories and funny anecdotes. It’s mostly Kyle telling endless school stories. Steve just sits there and responds eagerly to all of their stories, especially Kyle’s. Bucky smiles throughout. 

Kyle goes to wash up and then Bucky tucks him in. He's tired and is out as soon as he lies down. Bucky kisses his forehead and leaves the door ajar as always.

When goes to the dinning table to clean up, he sees that it's all cleared out.

He finds Steve washing the dishes, his sleeves rolled up and his arms full of soapsuds.

"What the heck Steve?"

He goes to take one of the plates from him but Steve threatens him with his wet hands. "Stay back."

"No--"

"Come on, you made dinner. Let me do something in return."

"You're our--"

"Guest. Yeah, I know. And an annoying one at that. Please let me."

The look on his face is so sincere and desperate at the same time. Bucky sighs and rolls his eyes. "Fine."

He's rewarded with the widest smile he's ever seen on Steve. He laughs slightly at him and then heads to put away some leftovers. Then he grabs himself a glass of wine, pouring one for Steve for when he’s done. He makes himself relax on one of the stools.

“And you’re not annoying,” Bucky says softly.

Steve’s back is to him as he snickers. “Yeah. Wait until after three or four art sessions.”

Bucky just stares at his back. He doesn’t have to guard his facial expressions. The whole atmosphere whispers domesticity and Bucky’s heart skips a beat at the thought.

He hears himself sigh as he thinks, _God knows you’re welcome 24/7._

Apparently his silence prompts Steve to turn and look at him. “Bucky?”

Bucky shakes his head and takes a sip. “Sorry…Just work stuff.”

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask..."

"Yeah."

"What's the best place to buy furniture here?"

"Well, what are you looking for?"

"Nothing specific. Something nice but with reasonable price."

"Well, I know the best place. It's a place that has a kind of vintage feel to it. It's owned by two siblings. They’re twins by the way.”

“Am I right to assume that you became friends with them?” Steve smirks.

Bucky nods. “You bet. They're the best. Just let me know when you wanna go so I can drive you there."

Steve is done by now and is drying his hands. "Oh, you don’t have to. Just give me the directions or the name of the store.”

Bucky motions for him to sit. “And how are you gonna deliver your couch or coffee table? On your bike?”

"Don’t be silly. That’s why they have delivery services.”

"I’m not gonna allow that when you can have free delivery by yours truly.”

“I can’t let you do that Bucky. You---”

Bucky straightens up. "You'd want me there buddy. I know them. I've translated a bunch of documents for them for free. They’ll go easy on you with the prices if I'm there, not that their stuff is expensive but--”

“Still. I can’t interrupt your schedule. You’ve got work and deadlines---”

“I actually need a break. This is what I usually do after translating a document. Gotta take a day or two to just stay away from it and return with fresh eyes for the editing process.”

Steve goes quiet and is looking at his hands. Bucky smiles as he thinks that he’s winning. Then Steve raises his head and smirks.

“Fine, but on one condition.”

“Shoot.” Bucky sits back but his hand is still holding the glass on the counter.

“I’ll wash the dishes after dinner.”

Bucky raises his brow and smirks. He can’t help himself and says, “That means you’re gonna have dinner with us every night. Is that what you're saying?”

This is the first time Bucky sees Steve blush to the roots of his hair. And he likes it so much.

“I can’t win with you, can I?” Steve sighs and looks at Bucky with smiling eyes.

Bucky raises the glass to his lips and toasts him. “Nope.”

 

***

 

Few minutes later and Bucky sees Steve to the door.

“All right. So, when is the best time for you?” Steve asks as he wears his jacket.

Bucky opens the door and hands him a box of leftover pasta to which Steve rolls his eyes. “Thanks as always.”

Bucky chuckles. “Morning is good. Around ten?”

“Ten is good.”

Bucky suddenly remembers the books. “Wait, the books.”

And he jogs back to his office, and finds them on the table next to the couch. He grabs them and gets to Steve.

“You better start reading buddy.” He hands them over.

“I’ll get to it.”

Steve steps out and Bucky stands by the door. Then Steve turns after getting down the steps.

“Thanks for tonight. You’ve been…” Steve pauses as he looks down.

Bucky feels his ears ringing and he's thankful for the darkness outside to hide his flushed face.

Steve sighs and smiles. “Very generous and kind to me. Thanks.”

Bucky wants to say something but finds his fast beating heart hindering him. Then he finally wills himself to speak up. He mutters softly, “Don’t mention it.”

He watches Steve until he’s half way to his dark house and then shuts his door. He rests his back and tilts his head back with a thud.

“God help me.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The problems of the heart are more painful...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank you all lovely people for your generous comments and kudos. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this story means to me and the fact that you like it is so rewarding. Second, I think I'm gonna make it into 15 chapters instead of 10. I just love this universe and it might be longer too. Third, I tried my best in researching medical stuff. If I got it wrong, forgive me. Fourth, I took liberty with the twins.
> 
> Lastly, hope you like this chapter.

 

 

 

 

“James Barnes, long time no see,” a sultry voice says and Bucky turns, smiling at the beautiful lady in a red shawl.

“Wanda,” he greets and opens his arms to hug her.

She hugs him tightly with her heavily jeweled wrists. Then when they pull away, she holds his shoulders and observes him. “You look skinny. Eat something.”

He chuckles. “Please. I’m not Pietro.”

“Who you calling skinny?”

“Hey man,” Bucky says as he goes to hug the young guy but the latter just envelopes him tightly, lifting Bucky off the ground a bit trying to prove his point.

“Okay, okay,” Bucky shouts, laughing.

They break away and Bucky pats him on the back. “How’s school?”

Pietro runs his hand through his platinum-blonde hair. “Good. Getting good with writing papers.”

“I’m glad.”

It’s good to see them again. When they first opened their store, Bucky was one of their first customers. They pretty much clung to him when they discovered he spoke Russian. Then he got to help them in translating some documents they needed for their store. The rest is history.

Bucky turns around, remembering that Steve is with him so they can buy him furniture. He sees him staring at their mini reunion. As soon as Bucky catches him, Steve looks away, pretending to be interested in an antique looking table. Bucky remembers that the guy is not as social as him.

He beckons him. “Hey Steve, come meet Wanda and Pietro. The owners.”

Steve smiles shyly and walks over to them. He shakes their hands very formally. “Nice to meet you all.”

Bucky stands next to him in order to make him feel more comfortable. He motions with his hand. “This is Steve, my new neighbor. He’s looking around for furniture. I recommended you guys. Hope you could help him.”

“Oh dude, let me show you this new set we just got,” Pietro says excitedly.

Pietro throws his arm around Steve who Bucky notices stiffs a bit. He’s about to interfere when Steve turns and glances back at him mouthing ‘help’. The look he gives him is comical, not serious. So Bucky just tries not to laugh and waves at him.

When he looks back, Wanda is narrowing her eyes at him. “What?”

“This neighbor…” She drawls in her heavy accent. “He is a very handsome man. You two are together?”

Bucky's eyes widen. “Oh no. We’re not. I’m just helping him out. He just moved into town around a month or two ago. So…”

She hugs herself with her red shawl. “Sadly, I believe you because you, James Barnes, have a good heart.” And she puts her hand on the center of his chest. Then she smirks. “Which is beating madly upon my misunderstanding.”

He moves her hand away, trying his best to hide his blush with his hair. “Cut it out, okay.”

She raises her hands in surrender and then he asks her, changing the subject. “Hey, you got any of those picture frames that look kinda old, rusty…you know vintage-looking—“

“Yes, yes, James. Stop babbling. Come with me.”

She shows him several beautiful ones. And he tries to remember the size of the sketchbook papers that Kyle has. He figures he’d frame that one of him and Kyle which Steve sketched. He didn’t tell Kyle, and thought he’d buy three picture frames so he could frame any of the others if he’d like.

“I want to get these.” He showed Wanda three different frames in different sizes.

“Good choices but you have to be careful James. Clean them well. They can turn ugly with dust.”

She looks at him seriously and he can’t help but smile. “Okay, Wanda. I’ll do that.”

Wanda goes in the back to get them and he hears the timid call of Steve. “Uh Bucky?”

He turns and sees him sitting, more like buried in one of the couches. Bucky chuckles at the scared look on his face. So he walks to them and catches the end of Pietro’s pitch.

“Trust me Steve. It’s gonna be good for your living room.”

Bucky stands there next to the teen and looks at it. It isn’t a good color; it’s dark brown, nothing special about it and it kinda looks like it might swallow someone.

“You all right there Steve?” Bucky is trying his best not to laugh at Steve’s petrified look of Pietro’s nonstop pitching.

Steve is trying not to offend Pietro, and Bucky can see it clearly on his face. “I can’t decide and—“

Pietro clasps his hands together. “Listen man, this will be good for a date night too.”

“Oh?” Bucky asks, raising his brows in mock horror toward Steve who chuckles. “Do tell us how?”

“Well, you know when you have the lady over—you know what?” Pietro huffs in frustration. “Just come here,” Pietro says as he grabs Bucky by the shoulders and moves him, making Bucky stagger and fall into the couch gracelessly, almost sitting on Steve who barely had the time to scoot over. They end up sitting almost attached to the hip. Both parties surprised.

“See? Perfect. You know when you have a date over, you can do the old trick—“

“Oh my God Pietro. Stop it with that horrible pitch. You are embarrassing me,” Wanda yells as she comes over, the boxes of what must be the frames in her hands.

Bucky lets out a nervous laugh and moves away a bit from Steve’s warm body. He totally doesn’t need this right now. He’s still recovering from that dream of his. But he still doesn’t want to make Steve feel like he’s a disease with the way he scooted away.

So, he moves away a bit and turns to him. “What do you think?”

“I think that maybe I should hold off on the couch and just buy a coffee table and a night stand,” Steve answers him, without looking at him.

“Okay.”

Steve lets out a breath and springs up, and then he extends his hand to Bucky who stares at it for seconds. He’s a bit surprised at the gesture, but figures that it’s because of the couch. It’s basically swallowing him. So, Bucky takes Steve’s hand and hauls himself up. As he stands up, he realizes he’s still holding on to him, and he quickly takes his hand back and puts both in his pockets, turning away to hide his blush. His eyes fall on Wanda’s dark kohled ones and see her smirk before she turns and heads to charge him on the frames. He follows her, mainly because he doesn’t want to see Steve. He’s embarrassed enough.

“You know,” she starts. “Remember when I used to badger you into letting me read your fortune?”

He rolls his eyes as he gets his wallet out. “Yes, and it’s still a no.”

She waves him off with her ringed hand. “I’m not offering.”

“Oh? Then why…”

She puts his stuff in a bag and hands it over. “It is okay James. You no longer need me.”

She winks at him and he frowns. “You know what? Sometimes I don’t really get you Wanda. As much as I adore you, I don’t get you.”

“You will not, even if you speak my language.”

“Which I _do_.” He smirks.

“What language is that?” Steve asks from behind him and Bucky flinches a bit, surprised that he’s already there. He’s still not over the accidental hand-holding.

_His hand was so warm_ , he thinks.

“I speak many languages and one of them is Russian which James speaks.”

“That’s so amazing. I’m gonna start learning a new language too. Bucky here is gonna teach me,” Steve declares, beaming.

Wanda’s eyes widen a bit but then look calm at Bucky who’s trying to look anywhere but her. She scares him sometimes with her eyes. Sometimes he feels that she can see through his soul.

“Is he now?”

“Oh, Bucky is the coolest dude, man,” Pietro chimes in and Bucky wants to disappear.

“Okay, enough with you two. So,” Bucky turns to Steve. “You find anything?”

“Yup. Come here, I’ll show you.” And they walk together to a lovely coffee table. “I’m taking this, like literally. There’s no more in the store.”

Pietro folds his arms across his chest as he joins them. “Yeah. Usually, we give customers dates of new shipments coming, but this one won’t be here till six months from now. Plus, he’s your friend Bucky, so we’re giving you the one for display. But please don’t tell anyone.”

Bucky nods and touches the smooth wooden surface. “It’s good.”

“Right?” Steve looks very excited.

Pietro extends his hand to Bucky who looks at him questioning. “Give me your car keys. Steve tells me he declines our delivery services…” and gives him the stink eye and Steve stammers.

“I didn’t mean—“

“It’s me Pietro,” Bucky interjects. “I offered. Here.” And he gives him the keys. “You need help?”

“Nope. Got some guys in the back.” Pietro runs to the back.

 

Steve ends up buying that coffee table and a small nightstand. The nightstand is disassembled and boxed which makes it easier to load in the car. But with the table, they have to put the back seats down and it thankfully fit. Bucky says goodbye to the siblings, hugging both and promising to visit sooner.

As soon as he starts the car, Bucky turns to Steve. “Sorry you couldn’t find the right couch.”

Steve shrugs. “It’s okay. I’m not in a hurry.”

“There’s another good store not far from here. We can go now if you want.”

Steve shakes his head. “Nah, it’s okay. Let’s settle those first and maybe some other day.” And he smiles warmly at him.

Bucky stares at that smile for seconds too long before he looks away and backs out of the parking spot.

“Hey, I forgot to ask you,” Steve starts and Bucky hums. “I noticed that they call you James. Nat and Wanda.”

Bucky smiles. “Yeah. That’s my name. But ever since I was little, Ma and Becca called me Bucky ‘cause of my middle name. So it stuck. I ended up liking it, and I actually prefer it now.”

“Bucky as in…”

“Buchanan.”

“Ah.”

Bucky glances his way and sees him leaning toward the window, looking at the scenery.

 

It’s few minutes and they’re at his door. Steve goes and gets his door open and Bucky waits for him as they both lower the coffee table. They find out it doesn’t fit through the door, so Steve suggests the patio doors in the back. Steve walks backward, holding one edge of the table and looking behind to guide Bucky. The latter is holding on with both hands, and he feels something digging into his left palm. He disregards it and continues to carry the table with Steve until they deposit it in the living room. Bucky’s eyes quickly revert to the photo of Peggy. It’s still there.

He looks away so Steve won’t notice.

“You think here is good?” Steve asks, looking at the empty space.

They are both still standing, holding the edge of the table. “I think it doesn’t matter since you still have no furniture. But you can decide based on the location of the TV.”

“Gonna put the TV over there.” Steve nods with his head to the space behind Bucky.

Bucky looks behind him and then motions to Steve that where they’re standing is good. They put the table horizontally and as Bucky pulls his pained hands away, he winces sharply as something sharp cuts through his throbbing left palm.

“Ouch!” And he shakes his left hand.

Steve’s head snaps. “You okay?”

Bucky tries to look nonchalant. And without even looking at his hand, he smiles and shakes his hands. “Yeah. I’m good.”

Then he furrows his brows at the look Steve is giving him. “What?”

Steve is there immediately by his side. “Bucky! You’re bleeding!”

“Wha—Oh.”

Bucky looks at his hand that is now being held by a worried Steve. He looks at his hand and finds an ugly gash on the side of his palm. And it’s open and oozing blood.

“Oh shit…” He whispers.

“What the hell happened?” Steve holds his left wrist and drags him to his kitchen, quickly grabbing a towel and wrapping his hand. Bucky is still lost in shock of how this wound came about...and the blood. So much blood.

“There must’ve been a protruding nail under the table. I …” and he shakes his head trying to forget the sight of blood.

Steve seats him on the one stool in the vacant kitchen. He tells him to hold the towel in place to stop the bleeding until he gets the aid kit. Bucky watches him run. Actually run inside to wherever. Bucky looks in his direction for a second and then back to his hand.

Steve shows up seconds later and is shaking as he opens the box and Bucky is concerned for him. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s just a cut.”

Steve doesn’t even look up as he lines up the needed equipment on the marble counter. Bucky notices that it’s a surgical kit. Not like the one he has at home.

“It’s not a _cut_ Bucky. It’s a wound. A gash. A nasty one at that.”

Bucky smirks and raises his wounded hand. “Semantics.”

Steve stops and actually chuckles a bit. “You of all people should value the importance of semantics.”

And then he turns and asks for his hand. He unwraps the towel gently and Bucky grimaces at the sight of the gash. So gross and when he tries to move his fingers, Steve stops him.

“Don’t.”

Steve gets the alcohol wipes and cleans up as much as he can. “I’m gonna stitch it, okay? Otherwise, it'll easily get infected. Don’t worry. I’ve done this before with worse wounds too. If it’s too painful, just think of something…I don’t know. Something nice, beautiful.”

And he gets to work, putting Bucky’s hand on the counter. He’s still standing up and Bucky notices his rigid posture. He’s tense. He puts on the gloves and starts working.

It does sting but Bucky can’t think of anything. Then he finds himself staring at Steve. His golden hair, blue eyes, his lush rosy lips, and his body so close, his leg touching Bucky's knee. He feels his heart skip a beat and that he’s holding his breath for no reason. Then he sighs and finds that he had spent the last few minutes daydreaming.

“You okay Bucky?”

"Uh huh," Bucky answers in a soft voice.

"Try not to look at your hand at the moment."

Bucky looks away but he can’t stand the close proximity with his neighbor, so he speaks up. “Where did you learn how to do this? What are ya? A doctor?” and Bucky lets out a small nervous laugh. What hurts is that he knows what Steve is or was for that matter. He still cringes at the thought of Nat snooping.

Steve smiles up at him, and it’s that sad smile that Bucky didn’t see for a while. He’s unhappy to see it again. “Nah.”

Bucky waits and prays that he’d just open up to him a bit more. This is an opening and he prays Steve is gonna take it.

His prayers are answered when Steve speaks up again, “I…I’m a former FBI agent.”

“Oh…” He lets out a breath. “They train you for this too?”

“Sure…or you can say that I was eager to know everything about medical assistance. Plus,” he gets another tissue to clean up whatever is going on in his palm. Bucky is determined not to look there.

“Peggy made sure I knew a trick or two.”

That is a surprise to Bucky. “She was a doctor?” When Steve doesn’t answer him, his face too focused on stitching him up, Bucky rambles on. “I bet she was. I hardly believe she was a nurse. It's just...there's no way.”

Steve smirks, raises his brow and glances at Bucky before saying, “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Bucky blushes and nods his head toward her photo. “Well, she has an …uh …an authoritative aura about her…I’m getting a vibe…” Bucky is trying not to die out of embarrassment while Steve looks at him smiling at his efforts.

Luckily, Steve has mercy on him and chuckles. “She would’ve loved your reading of her.”

Bucky covers his face with his other hand. “Please stop.”

He uncovers his face slowly when Steve says, “She was an agent. We worked together.”

Bucky didn’t see that coming and Steve probably felt it as he glances his way. “One of the top FBI agents. That’s how we met.”

“Oh…” Bucky starts seeing how somber Steve is beginning to be. “And you let me go on and on about guessing...“

Steve smiles. “I just wanted you distracted.” Then he steps away and takes off his gloves. “Done.”

Bucky looks at his hand and sees that it’s stitched perfectly. “Wow.”

Steve doesn’t let him retrieve his hand just yet. He wears new gloves and cleans the area around the wound very meticulously. Then he coats it with an ointment. When he’s done, he turns away as he disposes the gloves and washes his hands.

Bucky pulls his hand back, looking at it closely. He feels Steve hovering over him and then pulling his hand back into his warm hands.

“Gotta wrap it up. You need to protect it from water, dirt, and even air. You don’t want it infected.”

He gets gauze from the kit and starts wrapping his hand gently. Bucky can’t help but feel warm at the care Steve is showing. He’s gentle and it’s the first time ever that Bucky is the one being taken care of. He’s always the giver. The feeling overwhelms him and he closes his eyes. He finds himself breathing deeply.

When Steve is done, he secures it not too tightly and then Bucky is about to take his hand back when Steve just holds it. He stares at it and runs his fingers over his palm and around the wound. Bucky sees him shake his head, and say very softly he thinks Bucky doesn’t hear him. “I seem to always be hurting the people around me.”

Bucky frowns. “What?”

Steve inhales deeply, steps back and turns to close the kit. He gives Bucky his back. “You should really visit the hospital later. I’ll take you after you get Kyle—“

Bucky grabs him with his good hand. “It’s not your fault.”

Steve turns toward him, leaning back on the counter. Bucky realizes that the guy is on the verge of panicking. He’s breathing hard and running his hands through his hair. “Shit, you gotta drive. I’ll drive you.”

Bucky huffs a laugh and turns fully toward him. He’s still sitting down, so he looks up at Steve. “My hand isn’t broken, okay? It’s just a cut.”

“A gash.”

Bucky nods. “I can drive one-handed. All right?”

When Steve looks lost again, Bucky stands up and pats him on the shoulder. He goes back to the living room trying to ease Steve back into their conversation. He really doesn’t want him to overthink this.

“So, where are you gonna put the couch?”

When he turns, he sees that Steve is still in the kitchen. He can see his back since the living room is open to the kitchen area. He doesn’t answer Bucky and just says in a serious tone, “You need to get it checked, okay?”

Bucky stands there and touches his injured palm gently. When he looks up, he finds Steve's back to him still. Bucky doesn’t understand why it needs to be checked. He's already fixed it. Nonetheless, he decides to spare him.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll let Clint take a look at it.”

Steve turns at that with a small smile on his face. “Really?”

“Yes."

"It needs to be checked today."

"I’ll call him to stop by tonight.”

“Promise?”

Bucky laughs slightly but sobers up when he sees the serious look on Steve’s face. Then the guy walks up to him and is about to touch Bucky’s shoulder but withdraws his hand. He puts them in his pockets. “Just please. Promise you’ll call him.”

Bucky gulps at the look he’s giving him. A look of desperation and something he can’t put his finger on. “I promise.”

Steve lets out a heavy sigh and Bucky gets it. He holds Steve’s shoulder firmly even when the guy tenses up. “What happened wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. I should’ve been careful.”

Steve looks away. “If it hadn’t been for me—“

“Hey, look at me.”

When he does, Bucky wants to hug him so bad. But he can’t. He just smiles. “I chose to be here. I chose to not say anything when I first felt pain while carrying that thing. Plus, I don’t feel anything thanks to you. It’ll heal in no time.”

“Oh, I forgot.” Then Steve goes to his kitchen and retrieves what he believes to be pain relievers. He puts them in Bucky's good hand. “Take these because you’ll feel throbbing pain in the wounded area later.”

“Steve, I have Tylenol at home.”

He folds Bucky’s hand in his. “Take them. Please.”

Bucky nods and Steve lets go.

Wanting to change the intense atmosphere, Bucky asks again. “Where would you put it?”

Steve frowns. “Put what?”

“The couch.”

“Oh…I don’t know. Anywhere really.”

“I think,” Bucky starts and moves around a bit, eyes roaming the room. He stops opposite Steve. “You should put the couch over there, and maybe a reclining chair here.”

He looks up smiling at his suggestion but his smile falters when he sees Steve has that far away look. He’s still frowning too and Bucky calls out his name.

Steve snaps and says, “Give me your phone.”

“Oh, uh…” then Bucky gets it out and hands it over to him after unlocking it. _He probably wants to use a phone_.

Steve’s fingers work fast and then he hands it back. “There. I put my number and gave myself a missed call so I can have yours. That way you can call whenever you need help with anything.”

“Steve,” Bucky’s shoulders sag. “You don’t have to—“

“Just let me know when Clint checks on it. Please?”

Bucky nods and puts his phone back in his pocket, his heart thudding madly upon the realization that he now has Steve’s number. He thinks it’s a dangerous temptation. He knows himself. The romantic in him. He'd start looking at his phone once in a while expecting anything from Steve. _Wait, what am I doing?_ he thinks. Suddenly, he feels something heavy on his chest. He kinda wishes Steve didn't get his number.

He blurts, “I should go. Kyle is gonna leave in an hour.”

“Oh okay.”

Steve walks him to the door but doesn’t open and turns to Bucky who almost crashes into him. He braces himself with his uninjured hand on Steve’s chest. Then pulls his hand away as if burned.

“I’m sorry again about your hand.”

“Don’t, please. How many times do I have to say it?”

Steve opens the door. “I’ll let you know.” And he smiles again, the smile that Bucky likes.

He feels light again upon that smile. He smiles back, shakes his head and then leaves.

 

***

 

Bucky waits in the school parking lot. He’s a few minutes early. He turns off the car, and sits back.

“What a day,” he says to himself.

Then he looks at his hand. It’s gonna be so hard typing away his work. Luckily, he had finished translating. All he has to do left is to edit. He can do it without tiring his injured hand.

He pretends he’s typing away and it doesn’t hurt. It’s a bit stiff as he feels the tightness of the stitches, but other than that, he can manage it.

He remembers Steve’s hands on him. Bucky brings his hand closer to him and touches it lightly, reminding himself of Steve’s light touches when he moved his fingers over his palm after wrapping the gauze. Then he remembers Steve's comment on how he keeps hurting people around him. _What could he mean by that?_ He thinks.

Maybe because of his former job? Bucky reasons. Or did that involve Peggy? Does he blame himself for her death? But then again, how did she die? Nat said that he did heroic things...

His heart clenches at the thought. It seems that Steve is carrying the world on his shoulders. There are so many things he's not sharing with Bucky and he wants him to do so. He wants him to just come out and vent to Bucky. He wants to know if he can help in any way.

"In time," he says to himself.

His mind then goes back to when Steve ran his fingers gently over his palm. There was no reason for him to do that and Bucky's heart skips a beat at the thought. A smile decorates his face and he’s really tempted to put his hand to his cheek just to...And that's when the car door opening jolts him.

“You won’t believe--Uncle Bucky what happened to your hand?” Kyle asks horrified as he climbs inside the car.

The kid is very observant and Bucky is glad for that. Just like his mother.

“Nothing buddy. It’s just a cut.”

“How did you get it?” he asks as he fastens his seat belt and Bucky double checks before he drives away from school.

“Oh, I was carrying something and a nail cut me. I wasn’t careful.”

“Did it hurt?”

Bucky laughs to relieve the situation but stops when he sees the look Kyle gives him. There’s fear and his eyes are almost teary.

“Hey,” and Bucky rubs his back. “It’s okay. No, it didn’t. I didn't even go to the hospital.”

Kyle sighs, but the worried look is still there. “But uncle Bucky you have to go to the hospital to check it out.”

“It’s okay. Steve cleaned the cut and stitched me up. He’s trained in this kind of thing.”

“Stevie?!” Kyle’s eyes widens.

“Uh huh.”

Kyle sits back and Bucky glances. “Wow. Is he a doctor?”

Bucky frowns and doesn't know how to phrase it. “No. But he had medical training.”

“Oh.”

Bucky’s chest tightens as he looks at the suddenly quiet kid. “Listen. Don’t worry about it. Uncle Clint is coming over tonight to check on my hand.”

He's yet to call Clint, but if telling his nephew now will ease his mind then so be it.

Kyle smiles and breathes a sigh of relief. “Good.”

Bucky ruffles his hair and then changes lanes to change their destination.

“Uncle Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are we going?”

Bucky smiles victoriously. “We’re going grocery shopping. Thanksgiving is next week.”

“YES!”

 

***

 

Bucky is glad when he notices that Kyle cheers up again later and then starts talking about school.

When he parks the car in front of the supermarket, they both unfasten their seat belts. But Kyle asks Bucky to show him his hand before they get out. When Bucky extends his hand, Kyle takes it gently and looks at it. Bucky almost melts when the kid brings it to his lips and kisses it softly.

"There. It's better now," Kyle says triumphantly.

Bucky doesn't trust his voice and he brings the kid to him. He kisses his forehead and holds him there. He gulps. "Love you buddy."

"Love you too."

 

When they go inside, Kyle refuses that Bucky pushes the cart because of his hand and takes no for an answer. Mama Barnes is gonna bring the turkey. Bucky is gonna cook everything else. So, he starts filling up the cart and then stop at the baking aisle. He looks for food coloring bottles when he notices that Kyle is still in the fruit section. He walks back to him as he finds him trying to navigate how to carry a pineapple.

“You hate pineapple Kyle.”

“It’s not for me,” he says and then winces. “Ouch!”

“Okay. Let me.”

“But uncle Bucky, your hand—“

“My right one is fine.” And he gets one and puts it in the cart. Then Kyle asks him for another one.

“Two! What’s going on? Is it a school project?”

“No they’re for Stevie. For reasons.”

Bucky crouches and bobs his nose. “Care to explain more?”

He raises his hand and counts. “One, because he likes them. He told me so when I asked him what his favorite fruit was."

Bucky is holding back a smile. “And two?”

"He saved your hand.”

"Fair enough."

"And three is because we’re drawing fruit tomorrow. So, in conclusion...”

Bucky arches his brow. He must've just learned it in school. “In conclusion?”

Kyle's cheeks redden. “He’s gonna take one for him to eat and the other one for art.”

Then Kyle holds himself straight and Bucky rubs his arm. “Okay. Anything else for Stevie?"

Kyle shakes his head.

"All right. Let’s get some thanksgiving stuff.”

Kyle takes the cart and motions for Bucky to catch up with him as he semi-runs with it down the aisle.

His cell phone beeps alerting him of a text message.

_Seen Clint yet?_

Bucky shakes his head, smiling. He sees Kyle stopping at the cereal section. He's a few feet away from him.

_Tonight. Don’t worry._

_Let me know Bucky. Or...I’ll just ambush you._

Bucky chuckles.

_We’ll take a selfie._

Then he calls Clint.

 

***

 

It's 8 O'clock and Bucky is thankful Clint is able to make it.

“How the _fuck_ did this happen? This better be a good story Bucky?”

Clint sits and motions for Bucky to sit in front of him. They're sitting in the dinning room. He gets his hand on the table and unwraps the gauze. Bucky narrates the story and winces when the cold air hits the wound. It’s been warm all along and now he looks away and doesn’t wanna see.

“Fuck,” Clint says softly.

Bucky’s heart is in his throat. “What? Is it bad?”

“No, it’s just his sutures are fucking beautiful.”

Bucky feels proud for no reason but kicks Clint in the shin anyway. “Hey! The heck Bucky!”

“You scared me.” Then he looks and finds the wound healing and clean. He smiles.

“What now?”

“Nothing. I’d rather you keep his sutures. Wound is clean and healing. I’ll give it three days maximum.”

“So I’ll heal before thanksgiving? You gotta tell me Barton. I don’t want my ma to fuss. You know how she gets.”

Clint gets sterilized wipes and starts cleaning around the wound. “Oh Mama Barnes. Damn I miss her. Remember—“

“Clint!”

“Yes, yes. It’ll heal.” When he's done, he starts wrapping it in new fresh gauze.

"It only needs one thing I think," Clint says in his doctor tone.

“What’s that?”

In a serious tone, he says, “Just let Steve kiss it, or lick it—Ow.”

Bucky ends up kicking him in the leg repeatedly.

“Uncle Bucky, is that you?” Kyle yells from his office.

“It’s okay Kyle. It’s your uncle Clint. He hurt himself.” Bucky then glares at Clint who groans in pain.

“Are you guys done?” Kyle asks, apprehensive.

“Almost.”

Then Bucky hears the padding of his feet going back to sit and draw. He asked before not to be present. Bucky understood and knew that his nephew just couldn't look at him being hurt.

Clint wraps it securely and asks him to take Tylenol if he feels more of the throbbing pain.

Bucky gets his phone out while Clint looks at his work. He goes to take a selfie of them together but Clint stops him.

“Oh hell no. You too? Nat won’t stop and—“

“Steve wants proof that I did get it checked. You don’t have to smile or anything.”

He clicks and takes the picture. Bucky’s smiling and waving with his injured hand, Clint looks off guard and Bucky laughs at the outcome.

He sends it and get a response immediately. He reads it while Clint cleans up after him.

Steve's text reads:

_Thank God. What did he say?_

“Clint, he’s asking about your opinion. What should I say?”

“Tell him his sutures are beautiful and to _die_ for.” Then he grimaces at that but Bucky goes and texts.

_Says ur sutures r beautiful  
_

_That’s generous coming from him_

He puts his phone away smiling and then catches Clint squinting his eyes at him.

“What?”

“You two text now?”

Bucky doesn’t look his way. “Shut up. He asked for my number today to check on my hand. He still feels guilty.”

“Uh huh.”

And Bucky frowns at him. He knows that famous Barton expression.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Clint pats him on the knee and smiles that fake smile. “Nothing. You’re good to go.”

“I’ll call Nat if you don’t tell me what’s on your mind right now.” And Bucky arches his brow, a smirk on his face.

Clint sighs. “I’m not afraid of her. Why do you guys think I'm scared of Nat? I’m _married_ to her.”

Bucky tilts his head to the side and Clint resigns. “Fine. Walk me to the door then. Don’t want Kyle to hear this.”

Clint gets his bag and Bucky walks him to the door. Clint turns to him with a serious look on his face, Bucky is scared for a second.

“Just…be careful. All right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just—“

Bucky suddenly gets upset. “He’s a good guy. I’m surprised your wife didn’t fill you in—“

And he stops when Clint points his finger at Bucky’s heart. “This. I’m talking about _this_ , not him.”

Bucky deflates and tries not to flush with embarrassment. He gulps and tries to appear nonchalant. “I don’t have feelings for him or anything…he’s straight just so you know.”

“I know you don’t. I just don’t want you to have them later.”

Then Clint grabs him by the neck and hugs him tightly. Bucky feels very conflicted and a bit sad and sorry for himself all of a sudden. He chuckles nervously and pats Clint on the back.

When they pull away, he pushes Clint out the door. “Just go. Don’t want to keep Nat waiting.”

“I’ll check on you guys tomorrow. Same time, okay? I might even removes the stitches too.”

Bucky nods and waves him away. He watches as Clint drives away and then his eyes land on Steve’s house.

His heart skips a beat.

He sighs.

“I'm afraid it's too late Clint," he says softly into the night.

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picture perfect...if only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned for there be...FLUFF.

 

 

 

“Stevie!” Kyle yells and hugs their neighbor when Bucky opens the door for him.

“Woah, hey buddy.” Steve staggers a bit and holds on the little arms wrapped around his waist. “What’s up?”

Bucky watches with delight. Steve gives Bucky a warm smile.

“Can’t wait to draw fruit today,” Kyle says excitedly.

“Well, then. Here. I got some.” Steve hands him the bag he has.

“Wow. We did too.”

“Go set up, I’ll be right there,” Steve says and pats him on the back.

When Kyle leaves to their usual spot, Steve turns to Bucky. “Hey.”

“As you can see he’s _so_ not excited about today,” Bucky jokes.

Steve huffs a chuckle then nods toward Bucky’s injured hand. “How’s the hand?”

Bucky closes the door and turns to him. “Good. Went to Clint’s clinic today. Nat threatened me to divorce Clint if I didn’t go and get everything checked.”

Steve frowns in confusion and Bucky snickers. “Don’t ask. Sometimes I find myself caring-or-actually investing into their marriage more than them.”

“That’s what amazes me,” Steve starts as he reaches for Bucky’s hand without waiting. “You care about everyone.”

Bucky holds his breath. The warm hands are welcoming. Steve runs his fingers over the covered palm.

“Uh…um…Clint took them out.” When Steve looks at him questioningly, Bucky explains, “The sutures, I mean. He took a picture of it first ‘cause according to him, your sutures should be a model for med students.”

Steve only responds with a smile, still holding Bucky’s hand in his. “Everything good?”

Bucky can’t take his eyes off him. “Uh, yeah. Did a blood test. Everything is fine.”

Steve nods and then Bucky feels awkward. He laughs nervously. “I…kinda need my hand back Steve.”

“Oh God, sorry,” Steve stammers, his face reddening.

Bucky smiles at him and guides him to the dinning room. To spare him, he asks, “You read the book?”

“Yup. Loved every bit. So enriching.”

“I’m glad.”

“Well, I’ll be in my office. Just holler if you need anything.”

Steve goes to his chair and quickly beams at the pineapple in the center of the table. Bucky heads to the kitchen first and hears Steve say to Kyle softly, “This is for me? Thanks Kyle. That’s very sweet of you.”

Bucky smiles as he gets out the little fruit salads he bought since he couldn't bake anything or cut anything for that matter. It’s bugging him but it’s the only option

 _If only Ma knew_ , he thinks.

He takes two little plastic boxes, opens them and sticks two small forks and gets them to the two in the dinning room.

“Here’s a fruit salad to go with your theme,” he announces and puts them on the table.

“Yay! Thanks uncle Bucky,” and Kyle quickly digs in, a slice of orange in his mouth already.

Steve just stares at it and then at Bucky, his expression unreadable.

Bucky fidgets. “Oh, you don’t like them? Allergic? So sorry Steve—“

Steve puts his hand out and takes the box. “No, no. It’s okay. I just…” and he scratches his head. “Um, thanks. You didn’t have to.”

“Please. All I did was open the lid. Enjoy.”

And he kisses Kyle’s head who in return asks Bucky to open his mouth. Bucky does and catches the grape he throws at him. He wiggles his eyebrows at his nephew victoriously and chews the grape. It’s juicy and sweet. Kyle giggles and Bucky ruffles his golden hair. He leaves them but as he’s about to leave their sight, he glances back for a second and his heart skips a beat as he finds Steve staring his way. That unreadable expression back on his face. Bucky quickly turns around and heads to his office, his face hot.

 _What the hell was I thinking agreeing to offer language lessons?_ He thinks.

He goes behind his desk and drops on his swivel chair. He runs his hand through his hair. All he’s thinking is how he’s going to survive their first lesson session tonight.

“It’s gonna be okay. Just relax,” he says with his eyes closed.

He inhales and logs in. He needs to do some serious editing.

 

An hour later Kyle appears at the door. Bucky is too engrossed in the text he doesn’t see him right away until he knocks.

Bucky peeks from around his screen. “Kyle? Done already?”

There seems to be some spark in his eyes. Excitement. “Nope. But I wanted to close your door.”

“Um… and why is that?”

Kyle holds the door handle and goes to close it. “We’re gonna put on music, like very loud. We don’t wanna bother you.”

Bucky raises his brow and smiles. “Music, huh? Is this a method?”

He laughs at the look Kyle gives him. It’s that look he gives him when he resents his uncle for using big words. Words he doesn’t know.

“Okay uncle Bucky. I don’t know what that means. Stevie says it’s how he learned…um…in art school or…Okay bye!”

And he closes the door. Bucky frowns. Kyle seems out of sorts. Bucky thinks it maybe due to his ever-growing excitement for art. Bucky shrugs and goes back to his work. It’s few minutes and he hears music coming. He decides to zone out and lose himself in work because editing is a bitch.

 

***

 

An hour later, he notices that it’s almost 8 o'clock. That means the art session is over. He rubs his temples and logs off. Time to prepare the things he bought for the language lessons.

He opens the drawer and gets the stuff he bought from the bookstore: A new edition of an Italian phrase book he used to own, an audio CD for pronunciation, and some practice booklets. He needs to ask Steve some questions before embarking on their first lesson.

He lays them out on the table he has in front of his couch in the office. Then he inhales deeply. He’s excited because it’s his first time teaching someone a language. He hopes he can do it justice and do right by him.

As he looks at his shelf for one more booklet that he owns, the door opens and Kyle’s voice reaches him.

“Uncle Bucky?”

Bucky turns, his hand still reaching over the shelf. “You done?”

“Yeah, but can you come for a second.”

“All right. Give me a minute.” And he goes back to look through his collection.

Kyle leaves and the door is open. Bucky mutters, “Yes!” when he finds the booklet he used to work on when he was a student. Steve can use it as a reference later on. He drops it on the table and heads out the door.

He heads to the dinning room. “Hope the session went….”

Bucky freezes at the sight. The dinning table is fully set. Food is on the table. There’s pizza and Chinese food. _Everything_ is set. Even the pineapple is cut.

Steve and Kyle are standing aside and they throw their hands in the air. “Ta da!”

Bucky can’t move and comprehend what’s happening before his eyes. Steve and Kyle have wide smiles on their faces. Proud of themselves. The fact that they are behind all of this…all of a sudden…makes Bucky think of that picture. That ideal family picture he always had in his mind.

He doesn’t know what prompted this gesture but that doesn’t stop a lump to form in his throat. He never thought he’d see such a sight. Then Kyle’s voice brings him back.

“Dinner is served uncle Bucky.”

When Bucky doesn’t say anything and is still frozen in the spot, Kyle comes over giggling and pulls him by his good hand. “Come uncle Bucky.”

Bucky wills his legs to move and Kyle drags him, his eyes never leaving Steve’s who is smiling warmly at the sight of them both.

When he finds his voice, he mutters softly, “What’s going on?”

“We thought since your hand is injured, we should make dinner. We didn’t actually make it per se because I’d burn the kitchen if I tried. So, we ordered. Now, I didn’t know what to get but Kyle told me you liked Chinese and he liked pizza. So...”

All the while Steve isn’t looking at him and just moves around to seat Kyle and then goes to sit in front of him. He ushers Bucky to sit at the head of the table. He’s still in shock. His heart is going to burst with warmth and love. He doesn’t know what to do.

“You shouldn’t have…” he whispers.

“Come on,” Steve starts as he pours him a glass of orange juice. “It’s the least I could do.”

“Don’t worry uncle Bucky. You’ll cook next time,” Kyle says before he accepts the glass of juice from Steve.

Bucky witnesses the scene and he feels chocked up. He can’t breathe. He stands abruptly. “I…uh…gotta wash my hands first. Be right back.”

And he almost runs to the bathroom. He locks the door and leans over the sink, breathing heavily. He thinks of what could be. Out there is a _full_ family picture. “It’s not real.”

And he feels a tear run down his face. “No,” he reprimands himself.

He opens the taps and quickly washes his face with cold water using his right hand. The gesture they pulled for him warmed his heart to the verge of tears. He grabs a hand towel and covers his face, breathing in.

When he looks at his face in the mirror, he doesn’t look like he just shed a tear. He nods and breathes again. “Okay…Okay…”

Shaking his arms and loosening up, he leaves and heads to the dinning room. He smiles widely because as much as it's painful to have Steve there like a part of their family, it is a sight to behold and enjoy.

He notices that Steve hasn’t started yet.

“You didn’t start?” Bucky sits and smiles his way.

“Was waiting for you. Unlike Kyle here,” and he narrows his eyes at the kid.

Kyle’s mouth is full of pizza. “I’m a kid.”

The adults laugh at him and they start eating. Bucky thinks it’s the best dinner he’d had in a while.

 

***

 

Steve has insisted to do the dishes and reminded Bucky of their deal. Kyle and Bucky clear the table and then Kyle asks Bucky’s permission to watch TV. It’s Friday after all. Bucky agrees and asks him to brush his teeth first and wear his pajamas just in case he falls asleep on the couch.

When he makes sure Kyle is settled on the couch, with his favorite TV show on, and blanket, he goes to the kitchen and finds Steve done and drying his hands.

Bucky boils water in the electric tea kettle. “Thanks.”

Steve shrugs. “Don’t mention it. It’s the deal, remember?“ He puts the towel away.

Bucky looks at his own hands and says, “Well I didn’t mean the dishes…of course thanks for that but I meant the dinner.”

Steve smiles as he bites his lower lip. “I didn’t do anything Bucky. I just ordered the food.”

Bucky frowns. “I didn’t hear the door bell ring.”

Pink tints Steve's cheeks. “I asked them not to ring it. Plus, Kyle kept watch.”

“Aha.”

“And the music.”

Bucky shakes his head, laughing. “I knew there was something to that.”

“But to be totally honest, we did use music in art school.”

“You went to art school?”

“On the side.”

He watches Bucky pulling two tea cups. “What are you doing?”

“Making tea. I though it’d be really soothing for our session.”

“Yikes! Am I going to war?”

“You’re gonna start learning a new language. You might as well be.” And Bucky winks at him. To his surprise, Steve blushes at that making Bucky smile widely and memorize to do that more frequently.

He hands Steve his cup, and they both walk to the office. Bucky turns around and calls out for Kyle. “We’ll be in the office bud if you need us.”

“Okay,” Kyle yells from the living room.

“I prepared everything in my office. Hope that’s okay?”

“Sure.”

Bucky motions to Steve to sit first and he joins him on the couch. He makes sure there’s a space between them because they’ll be sitting here for around two hours. He certainly doesn’t want to entertain ideas…or remember dreams.

_Jesus!_

He clears his throat, takes a sip of his tea and then puts the cup on the table. “So, I gotta ask first. What do you really wanna get out of this?”  
  
Steve looks away quickly, his ears reddening. "Uh..."  
  
Bucky feels like a jerk. "Oh, don't get me wrong. What I mean is that do you wanna also write or just speak it. A lot of people just wanna be able to converse while others wanna go all the way, you know?"  
  
"Uh yeah, I know what you mean. I guess I wanna speak it more than anything and be able to understand it. I mean…I'm not trying to be like _you_."  
  
Bucky smiles. "It's not impossible you know. You might become better than me."  
  
Steve snickers humorlessly then says softly, "There's no one like you Bucky."  
  
And he looks at him. Bucky stares at those blue eyes and he realizes for a split second that his own eyes has wandered to Steve's lips. He instantly turns away and laughs nervously. "Come on. Let's start then."  
  
As he grabs the booklet he wants to show him, he can still feel Steve's eyes on him. He feels his skin heat at the moment. The guy is probably looking at the booklet in his hands and Bucky reacts like this!

 _Why did I think this would work? Whyyyy?_ He screams internally.  
  
“Okay. Do you know what Italian sounds like?”

Steve shakes his head. And Bucky goes and sits a little sideways on the couch and says, “Ciao. Come stai? Il mio nome è Bucky.”

His neighbor stares at him a bit and then says, “Uh…all I got, I think, is that you just introduced yourself.”

Bucky smiles widely. “Good job. Yeah."

“That’s hardly an achievement Bucky.” He sits straight after taking a sip of his tea. "What did you actually say?"

"I said, 'Hello. How are you? My name is Bucky'.”

Steve nods and Bucky grabs a booklet.

"So, let's start with numbers, shall we?"  
  
"Okay."  


***  


They end up learning numbers and the WH questions. Steve struggles with pronunciation and Bucky reassures him that he will perfect it with practice.  
  
"This is an authentic CD. I don't trust those YouTube videos unless the person behind it is an Italian. A native speaker. Otherwise just use this. You can also practice with me. If you're not sure, just sound it off and I'll let you know."  
  
"Okay."

“So all you gotta do now is memorize what we learned today. And here,” Bucky opens the practice booklet and marks the pages he wants him to do as homework. “You can do these now with what you’ve learned. I don’t want you to cram a lot of info on your first day.”

“Yeah. ‘Cause to be honest, I think I gotta memorize those first, and the days in Italian man.”

“Here,” and Bucky gets out a box with note cards. He smiles at the memories. “I used to hang them around my apartment in London. These are the days in Italian…Start with this.”

And he hands them over to Steve who looks surprised. “I kinda have the impression that you were that A+ student who would also sit in the front.”

Bucky beams. “Yup and asks a lot of questions making my other friends groan in protest and resentment.”

Steve chuckles and shakes his head as he puts the note cards inside the booklet Bucky gave him. Bucky nudges him with his knee. “What about you? What kind were you?”

Steve inhales and scrunches his face. “I was the kind who got into a lot of fights…”

“Get ‘atta here. You?” Bucky laughs in surprise. He leans back and rests his head. Steve does to, and turns to him.

“Nothing dramatic, at least not how I saw it. I mostly fought the bullies and…the system.”

Bucky nods. “Yup, very dramatic.”

“You should’ve seen me Bucky. I was this little skinny kid, but I never let that stop me from punching a bully whether I was the victim or someone else.”

He looks away from Bucky’s face, probably lost in a memory and Bucky actually believes him. “Is that why you became an FBI agent?”

Bucky waits and Steve snickers but there’s no humor in it. “Yeah. I wanted to be able to help people. Bring justice, and …” He motions with his hand but fails to find the words.

Bucky understands him so he asks very softly, “Why did you quit?”

Steve sighs and looks ahead. “Corruption was or actually still is all around. People no longer believe in the things I believe in. They don’t see right anymore.”

Bucky feels encouraged and asks one more time. “What do you believe in?”

Steve smiles and then turns his head so he’s looking at Bucky. They’re closer now. He stares a bit and then looks back ahead. “Justice. Loyalty. Freedom. Actually capturing bad guys instead of conspiring with them.”

Bucky just watches him for few seconds before he looks ahead himself and the both of them sit there. Quietly. It’s serene and very calming.

Sensing that Steve reverted back to his somber self, Bucky blurts. “Thanksgiving is this Thursday. We’re gonna celebrate here in my house. Everyone is coming, even Monty and Dernier since they're here already. They actually don’t celebrate it but come nonetheless for the food. Why don’t you join us?”

Steve turns to him and Bucky quickly backtracks at the troubled look he gives him. “Uh…unless you have family. I’m sorry for assuming—“

“No Bucky. It’s okay. I have no family left. So, I usually celebrate with friends. But uh… Sam had already invited me to join his family.”

Bucky doesn’t show his disappointment and looks away. A slight feeling of jealousy surges through him. “Sam’s the jogging buddy?”

Steve sighs. “Yeah. He and his family are a riot. I mean I like them a lot but I don’t know how I’m gonna survive them.” And he chuckles.

Bucky finds a spot on his jeans and just picks on a thread there. “They live around here?”

“Around thirty minutes from here.”

Bucky nodes, smiles and looks up at him. “Well, I’m glad. Hope you enjoy it.”

Steve searches his face for seconds and Bucky frowns. He wonders if there's something on his face. He's about to ask what's wrong when suddenly Steve sits straight. “Well, gotta go. Is two hours too much for you? It’s,” and he looks at his watch. “Ten already.”

Bucky sits and cracks his neck. “No. Actually it’s good. I’m more productive in the morning. So you’re good.”

“You’ll let me know, right? I’m flexible. Just wanna remind you that I’m unemployed.” And he gets up.

Bucky stands up too and walks him to the door. “Yeah. You think about getting a job? I’ll help if you want.”

Steve wears his jacket that he had hung up in the closet. Bucky doesn’t remember him doing that. _Maybe when I was working?_ He thinks.

He watches him and realizes for a split second how familiar Steve is to their house. He looks away, heart clenching. Steve sighs then and there’s something about that sigh that makes him look up. He finds him smiling at him, shaking his head, never breaking eye-contact with him.

“What?” Bucky narrows his eyes.

“Nothing…just…Thanks in answer to your question. I don’t think I’m ready to take on another job. I mean…I still don’t know what I want.”

Bucky quickly realizes that the TV is still on and then sees the feet of Kyle up on the edge of the couch. “Shit. He slept there.”

He heads over to the living room. Steve goes over too and turns off the TV. Bucky crouches in front of Kyle and gently shakes his shoulder. “Hey Kyle? Kyle? Wake up buddy.”

Kyle just inhales deeply and doesn’t show any sign of waking up or even awareness. Steve whispers, “He’s had a full day I’m guessing.”

Bucky looks up and then goes to carry him. Steve quickly holds him back and whispers sternly, “What do you think you’re doing?”

Bucky looks at him strangely. “What do you think? I’m carrying him to bed.”

“Nope. You’re not. It might open up your wound.”

Bucky throws his arms in the air. “Not this again. I’m fine. Clint said so.”

“Yeah, well. That wound is barely a day old. I’ll do it.”

He puts his books on the coffee table, takes off his jacket and goes to move the blanket then stops. He turns to Bucky. “Unless you’re not okay with me carrying him…I mean…I only meant…”

Bucky sighs and shrugs. “Fine. Just make sure he doesn’t wake up or he’d flip seeing you carrying him.”

Steve smirks. “I’m finally lifting him up and he’s not conscious to see it.”

Bucky chuckles loudly then covers his mouth. He punches Steve on the shoulder and the latter carries Kyle gently in his arms. Bucky quickly leads him to Kyle’s room. It’s the first room next to his office. He opens the door and quickly turns on the lamp so Steve can see his way inside. He pulls the comics-covered blanket away and Steve lays Kyle gently and swiftly on the bed. The kid quickly curls on himself and turns the other way, sighing and very much asleep.

Bucky tucks him in, kisses his forehead and makes sure he’s well covered before he turns off the lamp and leaves the door ajar. Steve has already left before him. He walks through the hallway and finds Steve gathering his books that he had left on the coffee table and wearing his jacket.

“Thanks again for that. You didn’t have to.”

Steve puts his hand up. "Stop, okay. Stop thanking me for almost everything."

Bucky tries not to blush and remarks smugly, "Fine. I'll stop when you stop apologizing for my hand injury."

Steve purses his lips and points at him. "That's different."

Bucky folds his arms across his chest, waiting. Steve relents and shrugs. "Fine."

They both laugh and then head to the door. Bucky holds the door open for him. “See you Sunday?”

“Absolutely.”

He raises the books to him and walks back to his house. Bucky doesn’t close the door until he sees him get inside his house.

 

***

 

It's Saturday and it's the get-together night with the Barton's and his foreign friends since they're in town. This time all of them insist to cook dinner in his house since he has injured his hand even though it's healed already.  
  
Natasha is cooking a Russian dish while Monty is baking British buns and Dernier is making a dessert. Clint on the other hand has already ordered six boxes of pizza, two are all his.  
  
"They're not as good as yours but I forgive you," Clint says to him with a frown on his face.  
  
"How generous of you," Bucky says.  
  
Dernier pushes him out of the kitchen and he ends up sitting with the kids at their dinning table.  
  
"Don't move uncle Bucky!" Nicole whines.  
  
"What? Are you guys trying to draw me?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I thought you didn't like drawing Nicole."  
  
"We're trying to see who can draw you better."  
  
"We know that Stevie drew you best uncle Bucky but we're gonna see who wins," Kyle says, biting his lower lip in concentration.  
  
"And who's gonna judge?" Bucky asks impressed.  
  
"Monty."  
  
"Oh, is that so? Okay."  
  
And then he remembers Steve and quickly pulls out his phone.  
  
"Uncle Bucky!"  
  
"Sorry, sorry but draw me like this, on my phone, yeah?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"It's gonna be easier Kyle," Nicole whispers.

Then both kids giggle.  
  
Bucky starts writing a text:

_**We r having a get together. Wanna join us?**  
_

He sends it and then he immediately gets a response.

**_I'm kidnapped by this family_ **

And there's a picture of a huge family in a living room and Steve not in the picture but his running friend is.

**_MY kitchen’s been hijacked._ **

**_By whom?_ **

**_The gang_ **

**_How come?_ **

**_They decided to make dinner since I injured my hand which is silly since it’s healed._ **

**_I think they’re my favorite :D_ **

**_Traitor!_ **

Bucky waits but there’s no more text from him. He goes back and scrolls up to reread them. He smiles and Nicole whines again.

“Uncle Buckyyyyy. Don’t smile.”

“Oops. Sorry.”

 

A text comes again:

 

**_They r not gonna be as good as you tho…_ **

 

**_R u trying to make it up … traitor?_ **

 

**_No…yes?_ **

 

**_Forgiven_ **

 

**_What r they making? Indulge me_ **

 

**_Nat + Monty + Dernier r all making a dish from their homeland._ **

 

**_Oh. Cool. & Clint?_ **

 

**_He’s upset cos he wants me 2 make pizza_ **

 

**_He can wait…he should know._ **

 

**_Clint – Pizza = grumpy Clint  
_ **

 

**_He can order._ **

 

**_He did but says it’s not as good as mine._ **

 

Bucky waits, and it’s like there’s only him in the dinning room even though the kids are being loud around him.

 

**_Can’t argue w that._ **

 

He goes to text when Steve sends another one.

 

**_Ur pizza = heaven_ **

 

Bucky’s heart warms at the realization that he likes his pizza that much. He makes a mental note to bake one when his hand heals completely and during Kyle’s art session. That way he won’t be obvious. _Right?_ He thinks.

 

**_Sam’s mom will kill me if I don’t put my phone away._ **

**_Oh, well enjoy then :)  
_ **

**_Thanks. U too :)  
_ **

 

“Where’s Stevie?” Nicole asks.

He goes to look up but remembers. “Can I look up now?”

They both giggle. “Yes.”

When he raises his head, he asks them, "Can I see my portrait?"

He’s presented with two funny drawings of a teddy bear. “Umm…”

The kids suddenly burst out laughing. And Bucky’s shocked face makes them laugh even more. “You…little—you weren’t serious at all, were you?”

“No.”

Bucky puts his cell phone in his pocket and looks seriously at them. “Well, then. It’s time for TICKLE WAR!!!”

And he stands up and they both jump out of their chairs and run away screaming at the top of their lungs, Bucky growling right behind them.

 

***

 

It’s Tuesday night and the lessons are still going great. Kyle is getting so much better with his drawing skill. Bucky’s able to cook this time and he bakes his infamous pizza.

He relishes in the look on Steve's face upon serving the pizza. It's the look of giddiness.

The language lessons are getting more fun and interesting. Steve is getting better and better. The pronunciation is still a slight issue with him, but Bucky reassures him that practice and listening would do the trick. So, he gives him some DVDs of Italian movies and TV shows. Most of them classics.

“Are there subtitles?” Steve asks.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “No, Steve. That’s the whole point. To depend on what you learned so far. To improve your listening skills and pronunciation.”

“Easy for you to say.”

Bucky punches him lightly on the shoulder. “Just listen and repeat some words. Get your tongue fluent.”

“I hope they’re really good films.”

“Oh they are, especially—“

The door bell rings and they both freeze.

“You expecting someone?” Steve asks when he sees that Bucky is frowning.

“No.”

He gets up and Steve is right behind him. “Wait…” He cautions.

“Relax. Maybe it’s one of the neighbors…” He wants to open the door quickly before whoever is out there rings the bell again and wakes up Kyle.

And he opens the door without checking the peephole. His eyes widen.

“Ma!”

“My Bucky!” His ma screams delightedly and steps inside, hugging him tightly.

It takes him seconds to hug her back for she told him that she’d be here Wednesday night. He smells her hair and instantly feels home. He chuckles as she tightens her arms around him, swaying with him.

“What’re ya doing here Ma?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came for Thanksgiving silly.”

“I know but—“

She squeezes his cheeks, stopping any words coming out of his mouth. “What’s happened to you? Don’t you eat?” she asks before she roams her hands over his face, shoulders, and arms.

He’s flushing to the roots of his hair as he realizes that he’s being babied in front of Steve. Bucky’s eyes glance his way and see him stifling a laugh.

Winnifred Barnes notices and then stops. “Oh.”

And she fixes the blue scarf around her neck. “I’m sorry. Didn’t know you have company.”

Bucky shakes his head, and closes the door behind her, taking her heavy bag from her and her jacket. “Ma this is Steve Rogers.”

He stands between them and Steve extends his hand. “Nice to finally meet you ma’am.”

When she shakes his hand, Steve pulls it to his lips and kisses it. She ‘oohs’ and her son smiles warmly at her. Bucky adds, “I give him lessons.”

“Lessons?” She utters confused. Then raises her brow. “Is that you young people’s way of…like that thing…what is it…” and she closes her eyes trying to remember. “Oh your aunt told me about…Netflix and chill…I mean--“

“MOM. God no!” Bucky shrieks.

It’s official. He wants to disappear. And he quickly holds her shoulders and looks her straight in the eyes. “Steve is my neighbor and I give him language lessons in return for him teaching Kyle art.”

“Oh.” Then she turns to Steve. “Oh, I’m sorry dear. I didn’t mean—“

“No worries ma’am.” And Steve rubs her arm gently although Bucky can see laughter in his eyes. Bucky glares at him.

“Well, you can go finish your lesson. Don’t you worry about me…”

She goes to take her stuff from Bucky when Steve says, “It’s okay. I was just leaving.”

“You were?” Bucky asks, frowning.

“Yeah, I’ll just go get my stuff and be out of here.”

Steve disappears to the office and Bucky narrows his eyes at his mom who just shrugs but a sly smile is decorating her face.

He hangs her jacket and follows Steve who’s about to leave the office. “Forgot to ask…no homework?”

The way he’s asking with those innocent eyes makes Bucky wanna grab him and kisses him senseless and then hugs him tight. _Where did that come from?_ he thinks.

“No. Thanksgiving is coming up. Enjoy the movies.”

“That’s nice.” He lets out a long breath.

He goes to leave and Bucky follows then realizes his mom is nowhere to be seen. He looks around and then gives up. She's probably unpacking. Steve opens the door and steps outside, Bucky is hanging back.

“Slacking already Rogers?”

Steve walks backward. “You got me Barnes.”

“And here I thought you were the best student there is.” Bucky is trying his best not to snicker.

Steve puts his hand on his chest. “You wound me Bucky.”

Bucky waves at him and chuckles as he closes the door. He’s still smiling when he turns around but gasps when he finds his mother standing in the hallway, hands on her hips.

“Ma, you scared me.”

He runs his hand through his hair. She squints her eyes at him. “It’s funny how he looks just like the type you’d be interested in.”

Bucky groans. “Ma it’s not like that. He’s just my neighbor.”

“Who you happen to walk around him like a love sick puppy.”

He surprises himself by actually stomping his foot. It’s what his Ma does to him. He retreats to being a child again. “I am not a puppy Ma.”

They have this staring contest and then she breaks into a gentle laugh. She walks to him, hugs him, then links her arm in his. “Of course you're not sweetheart. You're a love sick one."

He shakes his head in despair and she continues as she guides him to the living room. "Now, come and tell me all about this Steve Rogers of yours.”

Bucky throws his head back and groans. “Maaaa.”

He is so glad Steve is not going to be joining them for Thanksgiving. Winnifred Barnes would eat him alive.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions run high...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long angsty chapter. This one emotionally drained me and at one point, I teared up.

 

 

 

Bucky’s household is festive and warm.

He smiles warmly as he kneads the dough for the pizza he’s making. It’s not a traditional Thanksgiving dinner dish but Clint called him the night before insisting that he either bakes him a pizza or else.

Bucky knows his threat is empty but indulges him. He loves his friend.

Looking outside his window, he sees Steve’s dark house. Bucky had texted him earlier telling him that they could postpone the art and language lessons the day after since it’s the holiday. He complied.

The pizza sauce is ready and Bucky scoops some and spreads it on the crust, throws some toppings and then the cheese. He ends up working on two trays of pizza. Clint is always hungry for more.

The doorbell rings and Bucky looks at the clock. It’s still four. They have time. They had decided to have the dinner at six when everyone is able to make it.

“Kyle, would you get the door please?” shouts Bucky from the kitchen.

His mother is next to him putting the last touches on her special green bean casserole before putting it in the oven. He puts the pizzas in the fridge. No need to cook them at the moment.

Bucky goes and washes his hands when he hears the Barton’s and suddenly Clint is in the kitchen with Nicole.

Smiling, Bucky turns and sees him opening his arms wide. “Mama Barnes!”

“Clint, my darling. Oh and you beautiful princess.” She kisses Nicole who blushes and then runs out of the kitchen.

Clint and his ma hug. Clint almost lifts her off the ground. “Oh! Put me down you silly boy!”

He gives her a loud kiss on the cheek and then Nat appears.

“Hello mama,” Nat greets happily. Bucky only sees that joyful smile when his ma is around. She saves it for her.

“Hi, my girl.”

And they hug. Winnifred holds her at arm’s length and then looks at her stomach. “Nothing on the way?”

Bucky is drying his hands and raises his brows when Nat actually blushes.

“No. We’re not planning on expanding just yet.”

Then Nat goes and puts the dish she brought with her in the open pantry. “Made you guys Sharlotka again. Hope that’s okay?”

“Of course.” Bucky gives her a kiss on the cheek and she hugs him before standing beside him near the sink.

Clint slings his arm around Winnifred. “Let’s elope Mama Barnes. You and I. What do ya say?”

Bucky chokes on the glass of water he’s having. Winnifred laughs out loud and Nat throws her hands up in the air. “Would you mama? I want you to take him away from me. So clingy.”

Clint winks Nat’s way and bites his lip. “You sure as hell weren’t saying that last night.” Then he turns to Winnifred. “She was aaalll over me.”

Bucky grimaces. “Oh my God! Please. Stop.”

“Aw hush Bucky. They’re the cutest!” And Winnifred squeezes Clint’s cheek.

Clint winks Bucky’s way. “He’s just grumpy ‘cause he’s not getting some.”

Bucky gives him a cold look. "I just baked for you jackass!"  
  
"James Buchanan Barnes! Watch your language!"  
  
"But Ma---"  
  
"See Mama Barnes!" Clint whines.  
  
"It's okay honey!" And she pats Clint's cheek again and goes to check on the turkey.  
  
Bucky huffs and puts his hands up. "Unbelievable! I'm going to join those who really love me."  
  
"Oh James..." Nat says laughing and then Clint is sweeping her off her feet and Bucky can hear their laughter as he leaves the kitchen.  
  
He smiles to himself. It's such a great day. All his loved ones are getting together and it's Thanksgiving Day, one of his favorite holidays. He remembers how Steve doesn’t have a family and prays silently that he's enjoying his time at Sam’s.  
  
He finds the two kids huddled around the coffee table.

"Nicole, come here and give me a kiss."  
  
The kid actually huffs, runs toward him in her flowery dress and plants a loud one on his cheek. He holds her hand before she runs away.

"Why in such a hurry?"  
  
"I gotta finish the puzzle with Kyle. We have to win."  
  
Bucky frowns. "Why?"  
  
"Dad said he'd lift us like Stevie if we finish on time."  
  
"He did?" He laughs and Nicole kisses him again and runs back to the coffee table.  
  
Bucky heads back to the kitchen after checking on the kids. They’re trying to solve the puzzle as fast as they can. He has wanted to help but they refused and practically asked him to leave.

"You ain't Steve buddy!" He says to Clint as soon as he enters the kitchen. He finds Clint sitting on a stool with Nat on his lap. They seem to be relaying a story to his mother who's laughing, cheeks reddening.  
  
"Hmm?" Clint frowns.  
  
"You're blackmailing kids now? So low Barton." Bucky goes to stand next to his ma who hands him the bowl of mashed potatoes mixture to blend all ingredients with the potato masher. He starts working on it, making sure it’s blended nicely.  
  
"I am not! I'm just promising something."  
  
"Something you can't do." And Bucky laughs and huffs at the strands of hair getting on his face as he mashes.  
  
"Please! You think your boyfriend is the only one who can do push-ups?" Clint taunts and Nat snickers.  
  
His ma turns to him, eyes bright. "Bucky, you have one?"  
  
"No, ma. They're just teasing me." And he glares at them.  
  
"Then who are you guys talking about?”  
  
Nat clears her throat and says in a serious mocking tone. "It’s Steve...his neighbor."  
  
"Oooh now I know why." Winnifred wiggles her brows as she cleans the counter.  
  
Bucky groans. "You guys are the worst."  
  
Winnifred continues, "I actually met him. Such a nice young man."  
  
Nat sits straights and rests her chin in her hand. "Isn't he dreamy Mama?"  
  
"I think we should ask Bucky that question." She's stifling a laugh and Bucky puts the bowl and steps away.

"I don't need this."  
  
They laugh and he huffs again. He’s saved by the bell and his frowned expression turns into that of a happy one. He leaves the Barton's-infested kitchen and heads to open the door.

Monty quickly envelops him into a tight hug. Then Bucky hugs Dernier. Both of the visitors are carrying dishes.  
  
"You shouldn't have you guys. Ma got everything---"  
  
Bucky stops talking, amused at Monty's raised hand. "You had me at Ma. Where’s that gorgeous lady..."  
  
And he trails off and ends up heading to the kitchen after Bucky tells him that she’s there.  
  
Dernier laughs with Bucky. As he’s closing the door, Dernier’s words stop him.

"Hey Bucky. We just saw Steve, your neighbor."  
  
Bucky frowns. "Oh, where?"  
  
"Just outside his house. We were passing by in our car and waved but he probably didn’t see us. I'm just surprised you didn't invite him."  
  
"I did actually but he said he'd spend the holiday at his friend’s."  
  
Dernier shrugs and carries his stuff inside, Bucky's steps behind him slowing. He feels that there’s something wrong here. _Did Sam’s family celebrate early?_ He thinks. But it’s barely five. And Steve said that they live thirty minutes away from here.

He decides it's probably nothing. The logical explanation is that Sam probably celebrated early.  
  
Bucky plasters a fake smile on his face as he enters the kitchen. He sees Monty hugging his mother.

“The Queen of England has nothing on you love,” Monty declares.

Winnifred laughs. "It's so good to see you Monty."

Then she gives Dernier a hug too who kisses her hand as always upon seeing her.  
  
The sight warms Bucky’s heart. They all fell in love with her when she kept sending them cookies and things when Bucky was abroad. She never forgot about them and even fed them when she visited him in London. His ma took it upon her to treat them like her sons.

It’s a whirlwind all of a sudden and his friends quickly take their dishes and head to the dinning table. Bucky goes to the sink, pretending to wash his hands and stealthily stares at Steve’s house. There’s a faint light coming from the upper floor that wasn’t there few minutes ago.  
  
His heart falls. Could it be that Steve lied to him? Lied just to avoid coming here? But why? He thought everything was more than good between them.

Bucky gnaws his lip as he looks out the window. It's clear he’s there.  
  
"Sweetheart?"  
  
He snaps out of his reverie and realizes the kitchen is empty and his ma is standing beside him, looking worried.  
  
She sees his questioning looks and explains, "They're setting the table and some are having wine already."  
  
"Let me guess...Clint and Nat?"  
  
She smiles and touches his shoulder. "What's wrong?"  
  
And when he looks into her eyes, he can't help but feel like a kid again in need for his mother. So he just lets the words fall out of his mouth.  
  
"It's um…Steve."  
  
"Oh? What's wrong? Is he okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I think. It's not like that.” He sighs and summons his courage. “Before you came, I had invited him for our Thanksgiving dinner, given that he has no one but he told me that his friend has invited him. Now Dernier tells me that he saw him outside his house."

And he points at Steve’s house through the window. His ma takes a peek.

“That’s his house? The one on the corner?”

“Yeah.”  
  
His mother looks and then hums.

Bucky sighs. "This means he didn’t go. I mean...I don't know, I never thought he'd lie to me."  
  
She pats him and smiles. Bucky knows that smile. It's the 'I've got a plan' smile.  
  
"What?" He asks timidly.  
  
She wipes her hands and leaves but not before saying, "Let's find out then."  
  
"Ma?" He asks as he watches her leave the kitchen.  
  
And then it takes a second for him to put it together. "Ma!"  
  
Bucky runs until he catches her putting on her coat. "Ma, what do you think you're doing?"  
  
"What…Nothing. I'll go invite him myself." Then she turns and calls loudly, "Kids. Let's go. You're going with me."  
  
The two kids come running and Bucky is trying to step between them. He can’t let this happen. What if Steve wants to be alone? _Scratch that, he must want to be alone._ Plus, he doesn’t want Steve to know that he’s been semi-spying.

"No. _No_ _one_ is going anywhere."  
  
"Nonsense!"  
  
And she's helping putting on their coats like they're going for a walk. And he's trying not to panic. "Ma, please..."  
  
"You don't have to come sweetheart."  
  
"What's going on?" And Nat comes to wrap a scarf around her daughter’s neck. Clint comes next and then Monty and Dernier stand up in the living room.  
  
"The bloody hell is going on?" Monty asks, confused.  
  
Bucky is trying not to hyperventilate. He’s built a good rapport with Steve. There’s a respect of space between them. He doesn’t want that to be ruined.

He turns to his friends, trying to explain things to them, when Dernier nods his head toward the door. "Bucky, your _maman_ left."  
  
"Shit! Stay here you two." He motions to Monty and Dernier who just hum, sit back and drink their wine.  
  
Bucky springs out without a jacket. He’s in a green flannel and jeans. The chilly air hits him but ignores it as he stumbles on his way to them. He catches up to them. Nat and Clint are walking leisurely behind his ma and the kids. When he reaches the couple he finds Nat videotaping with her phone.  
  
"Nat! What the hell?!" Bucky almost shouts.  
  
"Shut up. This is gold."  
  
He feels his heart is gonna stop and he catches up to his mom, who’s holding hands with each kid. "Ma..."  
  
And he stops in front of her and she smoothly walks from around him. "Ma, please don't. I beg you."  
  
"Can't hear ya sweetheart. Do you hear him kids?"  
  
"No!" And the two scheming kids giggle as they swing their hands with hers.  
  
Bucky stands there, out of breath and Clint and Nat pass by him. He holds on to his chest and jogs to Clint.  
  
"Clint…I think I'm having a heart attack."  
  
Clint sighs. "You're not."

“What kind of doctor are you?” Bucky yells at him, clutching is chest. He feels like it’s shrinking as he walks with them.

“The sexy kind,” Nat drawls and Clint slings his arm around her, stealing a kiss.

Bucky is trying to breathe and these two are making out. “Hey!”

They break away and Nat’s phone is directed at him. “This is Bucky’s reaction. Priceless.” Bucky is not sure who she’s talking to or recording it for.

“You’re just panicking,” Clint supplies.

“Which is adorable.” Nat smiles at him.

He’s had it with them, and with shallow breaths and after making sure that the kids are out of earshot, he points at her. “Fuck you.” And turns to Clint.

“And fuck you too.”

Clint looks behind Bucky and nods toward whatever it is. “Mama Barnes is at the door.”

Bucky’s level of mortification increases and he runs, cursing his friends when he hears their laughter. He jumps the two steps and holds his mother’s arm before she knocks.

He hisses, “Ma please. What if he wants to avoid this whole day, huh? You’re gonna embarrass him. You’re gonna embarrass me! You okay with embarrassing your son?”

She just hums, and to Bucky’s horror it’s Sinatra’s _My Way_ , as she huddles the two kids at her sides. Then she looks at him, pulls her arm out of his grasp and knocks.

“The embarrassment is when we leave someone here while we have a dinner.”

“But I did invite him.”

He looks like a deer caught in a headlight and thankfully the door doesn’t open. He tries to listen, but no sound. His mother knocks again.

“Ma, he’s not here. Let’s just go. Your turkey is getting cold.”

She snickers. “Please. My turkey is fine sweetheart.”

He gives the door his back and tries to steer his mom away. His eyes catch Clint and Nat standing behind her. They have the audacity to side with her.

“Come on. Let’s—“

The sound of the door opening stops him and he freezes. His heart is in his throat when he hears. “Bucky?”

He turns around and sees Steve. His heart sinks because it’s the same way he looked when they first met on Halloween. He looks disheveled, wearing sweat pants and a ripped t-shirt. His eyes are semi-red.

And Bucky’s suspicions are confirmed. Steve doesn’t want to celebrate Thanksgiving.

 _He didn’t have to lie though?_ He thinks.

“Uh…” Bucky stammers and tries to look anywhere but Steve.

Winnifred moves him aside and with her charm starts, “Hi, Steve darling. I hope you’re doing well?”

Bucky looks at his ma in disbelief. The guy clearly looks wrecked. Steve, bless him, tries to smile.

“I’m good.” Then he notices all the nosy people at his door. “Is something wrong?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact. See…our turkey is on the table already and we want someone to carve it. Now, these two,” and she motions to Kyle and Nicole. “Told me about how strong you are and how you did the push-ups…”

Now he knows why his ma insisted on bringing the kids.

Secret weapon.

And all of a sudden the two kids cross the threshold and hold on to each hand of Steve’s and Bucky is convinced he’s going to drop dead out of embarrassment.

“Please Stevie. We don’t want uncle Clint to lift us,” Kyle begs.

“Yeah. He’s my dad and I love him but he’s not as strong as you,” Nicole pleads.

“Hey!” Clint is offended and Bucky relishes in that.

“That’s my girl,” Nat yells from the back.

Steve, on the other hand, looks disoriented for a second then looks up at Bucky and tries to say something but stops. Bucky is speechless too.

“We’d love for you to join us dear,” Winnifred says.

Steve sighs and then chuckles. “How can I say no? All right. I’ll be there. Just give me ten minutes.”

Winnifred claps her hands together and cheerfully says, “Great. Now, Bucky here,”

And suddenly Bucky finds himself pushed across the threshold, making Steve back away.

He staggers. “Ma!”

“Bucky is gonna wait for you here to make sure you get to us on time, right Bucky?”

“Right James?” Nat asks from the back.

“There’s really no need—“ Steve is cut off.

“Can’t hear you. Come on kids. Let’s go set the table.”

“Yay!”

Bucky watches in horror as they leave and he just stands there with Steve. He wants the ground to open up and swallow him. Then Steve beckons him to follow him inside. When he closes the door, he looks at Bucky sheepishly and says, “Make yourself feel comfortable. I’ll just go change.”

Bucky realizes that the living room is fully furnished. But there’s a huge change. He stupidly blurts, “Where’s the coffee table?”

He turns to Steve who was half his way out of the living room. He rubs the back of his neck. “Uh…I returned it.”

Bucky feels confused. “Why?”

Steve puts his hands in his pockets. “It just didn’t work with the rest of set.”

Bucky looks around. It could’ve worked. The furniture is light green, merged with light blue. That coffee table would’ve been the icing on the cake.

The atmosphere is tense in the house and Bucky doesn’t feel that Steve is okay. He’s not the guy who was at his house two days ago, flubbing his Italian pronunciation or washing the dishes.

When Steve turns to leave, Bucky can’t help but say in a wavering yet soft voice. “You didn’t have to lie to me.”

Steve stops and Bucky’s heart does too. This is it. This conversation can change things, but Bucky hopes that it’s not the case.

Steve turns and looks at him confused. “What?”

Bucky fidgets. “Uh, when I invited you…you didn’t have to say you were gonna be at Sam’s. I would've understood—“

“I _was_ invited Bucky. I didn’t lie to you.” There’s anger in his voice.

Bucky decides to tread carefully. “Okay. Then why are you still here?”

Steve looks at the ceiling then away, his shoulders sagging. “I was invited and I had every intention of going, up until I woke up this morning. I just couldn’t…” he sighs and Bucky can feel the pain radiating off him.

Steve’s in pain and Bucky doesn’t know what to do and it’s driving him crazy. So he takes two steps and starts noticing that Steve is making fists with his hands inside his pockets. He’s also shaking.

Bucky thinks maybe it’s time to ask directly.

“Why couldn’t you? You know…you can tell me—"

“Because I have nothing to be thankful for Bucky,” Steve snaps loudly, making Bucky stop in his tracks. “Nothing, do you understand? _Nothing_.”

Bucky stands still and tries his best not to go and just envelope him in a hug. So, he chooses his words carefully as he gives him a soft smile. “Steve… don’t say that. There are so many things to be thankful for—“

“Thankful for what exactly?” Steve throws his arms up in the air, his voice dripping with contempt. “That I gave her an ultimatum? That when we broke up, we spent a year not talking to each other? A year Bucky! Thankful that she bled to death? What Bucky? Tell me how can I be thankful? Tell me for I sure as hell don't have anything to be thankful for."

Bucky gulps and tries his best not to break in tears as he sees Steve’s eyes brimming with them. He takes another step while Steve is regaining his breath. 

"You have friends. You have people who care about you. You have fans in those kids...Kyle and Nicole." He smiles to make it bearable but Steve still looks angry.

He chuckles humorlessly. "You wouldn’t understand. How could you? You've got a big family. You have friends all over...what do _you_ know about loss?!" And he huffs.

Bucky feels like a bucket of cold water is dumped on his head. He’s never thought Steve would be so insensitive. He never thought that he’d hurt him. Not like this. Bucky starts to feel his heart clenching and it hurts him. Apparently the look of horror and hurt on his face jerks Steve. The expression on his face is of shock and regret. Bucky watches as Steve’s eyes widen in recognition.

"Bucky... _shit…_ I didn't mean--"

Bucky raises his hands to stop him and backs away. "Of all people, I never thought it would be you who’d say that to me.”

He purses his lips, walking backwards. “You're right Steve. How would I know loss when I'm reminded of it every day by watching that kid grow up...by raising him knowing that his mom won't be able to see how great he's turning out to be..."

And it's his turn to breathe hard and upon the broken look Steve gives him, he realizes that he too is angry right now and he has lashed out. He didn’t want to do that. He’s always been the composed adult.

The tension now is so thick you can cut it with a knife. Bucky shakes his head lightly and then looks away. After he clears his throat, and makes sure his tears don’t fall down his face in front of Steve, he says, "Don't bother coming over. I'll tell ma you're not feeling good."

And with that he slams the door behind him, not stopping at Steve's pleas. 

_Who does he think he is?_

Bucky strides back home and with each step he feels anger building up and up and he definitely doesn't want to feel that way. Not today. Not during a holiday.  
  
But then... _how dare he?_  
  
“Fuck!” He hisses into the cold air.

He feels his face hot and he jogs the last few steps and almost slams the door shut when he gets inside, but composes himself at the end. There are guests here. Family is here.  
  
He takes off his jacket forcefully and almost throws it in the closet.  
  
"Where's Steve?"  
  
He turns and finds Nat with Nicole perched on her hip. He almost curses but remembers the kid. Then he chooses to switch tongue.  
  
" _Я действительно не __волнует_. " (I really don't care.)  
  
He doesn't wait for her remarks and goes to the kitchen. He's glad everyone is busy setting up, people coming and going in the kitchen. He closes the curtains of the window, breathes and tries to calm down. And then of course Nat follows him. He glances back for seconds and sees that Nicole isn’t with her.  
  
"What is it? Did something happen?" She asks concerned.  
  
He looks down and inhales deeply and doesn’t turn around. He’s a big boy. He doesn’t need anyone to interfere. This is between him and Steve.

With his back to her, he mutters, "It’s nothing."

Then he rubs his eyes. Suddenly, he feels very tired. He stops replaying all what has transpired between him and Steve, and turns the water tabs and washes his hands for no reason. He wants the water to drown the noises and in case Nat wants to talk.  
  
"James. Hey--"  
  
And the doorbell rings. He hears her sigh. She leaves and then in seconds Bucky hears the kids shouting "Stevie!"  
  
"Hey guys!" Steve’s voice sounds normal. Like nothing has happened.  
  
Nat speaks up over their shouting, "Behave kids!"  
  
Then he opens the tab again, and just washes a glass. _Why did he come? Shit!_  
  
Then he remembers the pizza. "Shit!"  
  
He clumsily dries his hands and turns to head to the fridge when he sees Steve at the door, standing behind the counter.  
  
"Hey,” Steve mutters softly.  
  
Bucky doesn't say anything and stares at him for seconds. He looks just the same but instead of sweatpants, he’s wearing jeans. He looks like he ran his way here.

Bucky breaks eye contact and avoids him by walking to the fridge. He gets the two pizza trays out and is thankful the oven is preheated already. He puts them inside, turns it on, all the time aware that Steve is still there in the kitchen. He doesn’t turn and just says, “I got a dinner to prepare.”

“Listen Bucky, I just wanted to say—“

“Gotta go. Excuse me.” He grabs the salad bowl and darts out of the kitchen. His heart is beating madly, and he finds himself shaking. He almost drops the bowl.

“Ah the salad…why you gotta be a health maniac?” Clint quips.

Bucky is not in the mood but he doesn’t want anyone suspecting something is wrong. Nat is enough.

So he plasters on a smirk. “This coming from a doctor.”

Clint looks around and then makes sure no one sees him as he gives Bucky the finger. Bucky shakes his head. “I poisoned the pizza.”

“I’ll take it. I’ll die a pizza man Bucky.”

“What’s this talk about dying?” Winnifred asks as she comes from the guest room with the napkins. “None of that now kids. Here, I brought these with me Bucky.”

And she puts one next to each plate. “Oh my God ma! You still buy them? Same design too.”

And he touches one, and his lips tremble. Becca used to love them. He remembers how her husband had hated them and she’d forced him to use them.

“Bucky?”

“Hmm?”

“You spaced out dear. Everything okay?”

“Yeah ma…Gotta go get the pizza. Just go ahead and ask the others to seat themselves.”

He goes back to the kitchen dreading finding Steve there but thankfully it’s empty. He’s probably somewhere with the kids. Bucky checks on the pizza and waits seven more minutes before taking them out. The smell is heavenly and he doesn’t blame Clint. But on a Thanksgiving day?

He slices them but keeps them in the tray. Then he carries the two and before he leaves the kitchen, he takes two deep breaths because he knows he’d face Steve eventually. He’d be at the table.

“Here goes nothing…”

And he puts on a fake bright smile and swings the two trays in his hands. The kids squeal and clap in delight and he genuinely chuckles when Clint claps with them. Just like a kid. He puts them at the end of the table. Then he realizes that his seat is in front of Steve.

_Shit!_

Of course he’d be seated next to the head of the table, his mother. She always seats guests next to her. Their seating goes like this: Mama Barnes at the head of the table. To her left: Bucky, then Kyle, Clint and Monty. To her right: Steve, then Nat, Nicole, and Dernier.

Bucky hates that he has Steve seated in front of him. _Where would I look now?_ He thinks. He resorts to looking anywhere but ahead. He can feels Steve’s eyes on him and he tries not to snap.

Winnifred clears her throat and announces that they all have to join hands and say whatever they’re thankful for.

She smiles widely and starts, “I’m thankful that each and everyone of you is in good health and that I got to see you all today.”

Then she squeezes Bucky’s hand and motions for him to start.

"Oh. Uh…I'm thankful that Ma didn't burn the turkey--"

They all laugh at that and she gives his hand a light slap. "Hush, you menace!"  
  
"Kidding, kidding. She's the best cook out there. Um,” he pauses. He doesn’t want to change his already prepared speech and has no intention to, even with the fight he just had with Steve. He clears his throat. “I'm thankful for everyone at this table," he tries his best not to ahead. "Thanks for being in my life...and I'm thankful Clint didn't stuff his face with pizza just yet."  
  
"I surprised myself too," Clint comments.  
  
It’s Kyle’s turn and Bucky expects the short same version every year but is surprised when Kyle says, "Can I be last? I'm still thinking."  
  
Bucky smiles and squeezes his hand. "Sure, buddy."  
  
Clint straightens up. "I'm thankful for having you guys but most importantly...for Bucky's pizza."  
  
Most of them groan at his words.  
  
"God save the queen!" And Monty lifts his head high.  
  
Nat glares at him while Bucky frowns. "Why is it that you get too patriotic when you're here?"  
  
"I have not the slightest idea princess. But on a serious note, thanks for your hospitality and for the festive holiday."  
  
"I’m thankful for you beautiful people." Dernier smiles at them.  
  
"I'm thankful for mommy and daddy, for uncle Bucky and Kyle...and for my friend Marianne,” Nicole says excitedly.  
  
Nat kisses her daughter’s forehead and then faces the crowd. "I'm thankful for my beautiful little family and my big family ... That's you guys in case you didn't get it."

The sass is there and Bucky really appreciates it. But when she glances his way, he sees the concerned look there. He looks away.  
  
And now it’s Steve's turn. "Uh ... I'm thankful," and he clears his throat and Bucky can’t help but glance his way. He finds Steve looking down, so he decides it’s safe to look.

"To be honest, I lost my parents along time ago...and all those years I've been celebrating with friends. I'm thankful for my friend Sam who never gives up on me. Thankful for Maria who's--even though she's back in New York--she still calls to check up on me...but what I'm most thankful for is … meeting Bucky and Kyle." He pauses and then looks up. His eyes meet Bucky’s and they hold contact for seconds before Bucky looks away, heart beating erratically. "If it weren’t for them, I'd be the creepy sad neighbor around the corner. So, thanks for everything."  
  
Mama Barnes mutters, "aww".

And Kyle mutters, “You’re welcome Stevie,” so softly that only Bucky hears.

Dernier looks at Kyle, “It’s your turn _petit Prince_.”

Bucky feels Kyle squeezing his hand and he squeezes back. “Um, I’m thankful for everyone here. I’m thankful for Britain and France for giving us Monty and Dernier,”

This causes laughter all around and Kyle smiles widely, looking victorious.

“I’m thankful for uncle Clint and auntie Nat for being awesome. And for Nicole for being my forever friend.

“I’m thankful for Stevie for teaching me art and being cool. I’m thankful for grandma for cooking this huge turkey! But I want to give the biggest, best thanks to my uncle Bucky.”

And he turns to his uncle, love in his eyes and Bucky wants to smother him in kisses. But what he says next stills him and renders him speechless.

“I don’t have mom and dad, but I do have uncle Bucky. He’s my mom and dad. I love you uncle Bucky.”

Bucky freezes, looking at the kid. He’s never talked about his parents, nor alluded to consider Bucky their replacement. His eyes searches the kid's face. There they are. The eyes of Becca. And for a second he’s reminded of how Becca will never know how good of a kid he turned out to be.

His eyes get teary and he untangles his hand from his mother and hugs Kyle so tight, and buries his face in his neck. He breathes him and feels Kyle gives his shoulder a kiss.

The table is quiet except for his ma’s sniffles. He clears his throat and pulls away from the hug. The last thing he wants is to cry in front of them and embarrass the kid. He pats his back and ruffles his hair, which makes Kyle pout.

Bucky laughs and says, “You’re handsome anyway.”

In vengeance, Kyle reaches out and messes Bucky’s hair.

“All right you two,” Clint starts. “I need my pizza!”

Kyle spreads his arms wide. "This is the BEST day every and ever!"

The people laugh and Clint pats Bucky on the back and he’s grateful for him for making the atmosphere light again. But Bucky still feels something heavy on his chest. Kyle’s words are still ringing in his head and his heart and he’s trying to breathe normally.

His ma pats his hand and asks Steve to carve the turkey. He refuses at first but everyone chants his name and he resigns. All the while Bucky is staring at Kyle. He’s gotten taller a bit. His blond hair is darkening and his hands can actually pass the heavy mashed potato bowl without needing help.

Becca doesn’t get to see this.

He feels suffocated and the need for air is persistent. He stands up abruptly. Everyone looks at him, and he stammers.

_Don’t cry. Don’t cry._

“I uh…I’ll be right back.”

He hears his ma softly calling him but he marches out of there and heads to his office, closing the door behind him. He sits on the couch and he loses it. He sobs his heart out as quietly as possible. He clenches his hands into fists against his mouth and closes his eyes in pain at the last time he saw his sister.

How he had to fly to another state in order to identify her body and her husband’s. How her battered face is seared into his memory. Upon that, another wave of emotion hit him and he lets out a painful groan.

He covers his eyes with the heel of his hands. He doesn’t want to remember that. So his brain luckily supplies him with the memories of her musical laugh, her punches, and her lightweight when he used to carry her around the pool only to drop her in the water unexpectedly.

Replaying Kyle’s words again in his head makes him weep as he’s reminded of how his sister will never get to know Kyle. And her kid never got to know his amazing mother.

It’s been five years but the pain of her loss still feels like yesterday. God knows Kyle has filled it but he also constantly reminds him of it. And that hurt sometimes.

Bucky feels sad for everything. For the fact that she’ll never know how he likes art now. How he loves comics. How he detests difficult new words. How he laughs when Bucky tickles him. How he hugs Bucky tightly or how he spreads his hands declaring every day a best day.

There is a soft knock at the door and Bucky doesn’t raise his head. He knew that eventually his ma or Nat would come and try to console him.

He doesn’t trust his voice. He's letting out a shuddering breath; his hand covering his eyes. He’s hunched forward, elbows on knees.

The door opens and then closes very softly.

When Bucky says nothing, he hears a soft “Hey.”

His head snaps up and he sees Steve standing there with his hands in pockets. The last thing he wants is for Steve to see him like this. Bucky holds eye contact with him for seconds, then turns and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. His nose is running and he grabs the box of tissues on his desk. He blows it and then stares ahead as he feels Steve move and come sit next to him.

He sits very close, closer than usual, and turns to Bucky.

“Kyle is the brightest kid I’ve ever met,” he says softly.

And that’s all it takes for the sobs to come back again. He cries and covers his face again. He feels Steve’s hand come up and rub his back.

He gulps and turns to Steve, who looks at him in sympathy. “That’s what’s killing me Steve. The fact she’s not here to see it. His father isn’t here too.”

And he clutches at his chest as breathing gets hard and Steve then looks determined and holds the back of Bucky’s neck and presses there.

“Listen to me. That kid is the _luckiest_ kid in the world for having you. And she knows. His father knows. They wouldn’t have it any other way.”

With that, he falls into Steve’s welcoming arms.

He clings to him and muffles his cries in his shoulder. Steve’s arms wound tightly around him.

 

After what seems to be like hours, he regains some sense and propriety and pulls away. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I snapped earlier or pressured you—“

“Bucky, no. No. I’m the one who’s sorry. I was such an _asshole_. I say some things without even thinking…I…”

And he just purses his lips and then sighs. He holds Bucky’s shoulder and presses. “I’m really genuinely sorry about what I said. If I could turn back time and stop my stupid mouth, I’d do that in a heartbeat.”

Bucky clears his throat then nods. “Thanks Steve.”

He runs his fingers through his hair and rests his back on the couch and lets out a long breath. He feels drained. Steve is still watching him then he imitates his sitting posture. They sit there enjoying the silence that is interrupted every few seconds by Bucky’s soft shuddering breath.

“Two years ago,” Steve starts, hands on his lap nervously clasping them.

Bucky turns his heavy head toward him.

“Peggy broke up with me. We were having fights and ups and downs. I had quit by that time. And then one day I discover that she actually was aware of a certain case that I’ve worked on before. It’s a case where I knew there was some shady stuff going on. Some corrupted agents involved. I won’t bore you with details but…she knew and I flipped because she didn’t do anything about it. I confronted her. She said that she knew all along but they’re allowing it to continue in order to catch those accomplices red handed…you know.”

Steve sighs and rubs his forehead. “I snapped and before I knew what was going on, I gave her an ultimatum. It just…came out. I said either she chooses me or work. Of course she chose her work. As I was saying it, I knew her answer. And I don’t blame her.”

Then he chuckles. “I would’ve been disappointed in her if she didn’t. But then I regretted it immediately. That same minute. She didn’t even need to say it. She took off the ring and left. Just like that. The next day, she sends me a text asking me to see how we are in a year. I guess…she was giving me another chance.”

Bucky’s breathing has regained normalcy by now and he wipes his eyes and looks at Steve.

“But the funny thing is that we ended up not talking really. She moved out and I tried to move on. I started taking art commissions. I gave her space and she gave me mine. What’s sad is that we stayed that way for a whole year. And then one day…it was actually midnight…I get a phone call from Maria.”

He takes a deep breath and then runs his hands through his hair. “She tells me that Peggy got shot in action. She bled to death really because somehow the people who shot her got a hold of her and basically let her die slowly. They caught them of course later, same day but it was too late. I tuned her out after she told me that she’d passed away. The events didn’t really matter when the result is still the same.

“I ran out of my apartment…like, literally ran all the way to the hospital where she was. I couldn’t believe that Peggy Carter just…died.”

Then he sits up straight, supports his elbows on his knees and hangs his head low. “I spent the following six months in mourning. I mourned that I didn’t talk to her during that year. I regret quitting …otherwise I could’ve been there to help her. To protect her...”

“Steve…” Bucky sits up and without hesitance takes his hands in his and squeezes. “It wasn’t your fault. Please do remember this. It wasn’t your fault.”

A single tear falls down Steve’s face and he smiles sadly. “You know what’s sad about all of this? Six months later I find out through her lawyer who’s been trying to reach me for a long time but couldn’t ‘cause I avoided him…he tells me that she’d bought a house in our names in a suburban area in DC during the year we didn’t speak to each other. She’d left it to me in her will. I was flabbergasted. She never said anything about updating her will. I actually broke down. I started asking myself questions. Did she want to get back together? Was she really ready for us to start a family? Was that why she asked me to wait after a year?”

Bucky lets go of his hands and looks down. Steve sighs. “Then I decided to honor her wishes and come and live in this house of hers. And oh Bucky…I’m so glad I did.”

And Bucky raises his head, confused. Steve smiles. “Then days after I move in, some folks knock on my door trick-or-treating. I’m so glad I opened the door for them.”

Bucky’s heart skips a beat. “You’re saying…”

Steve lets out a soft laugh. “Yeah. It’s like she knew I’d be in a good neighborhood, surrounded by good people. I guess, in a way, she’s trying to help me move on. Stop mourning.”

“I can’t believe that I could’ve met her,” Bucky whispers.

“You would’ve loved her Bucky. She would’ve been impressed with you too.”

He pats Bucky’s shoulder then says, “That’s why I was angry today and a bit down. I felt that I didn’t deserve to be happy…I’ve been happy these past few weeks. Learning a new language, teaching art, getting to know new people and making friends. Jogging with Sam…and then it hit me that I don’t deserve to feel that—“

“No Steve!” Bucky grasps his hand. “She wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”

“I don’t know when I’ll fully forgive myself…fully accept it you know.”

“Steve…It’s not your fault.“

Steve looks at him sadly and Bucky repeats softly, “It’s not. Accept that.”

A knock interrupts them. The door opens slowly and he sees the warm face of his mother and he loses it. His lips start to tremble and his eyes water.

“Oh sweetheart…”

He feels Steve getting up and she speaks, “Don’t get up.”

She comes and sits on the table in front of Bucky and takes his face in her hands. Her thumbs gently wipe the tears away. He tilts his head to the side and inhales her scent and kisses her palm.

“You have no idea... _no idea_ how proud I am of you.”

And she kisses his forehead and lingers there and he feels her tremble a bit and he knows that his mother is holding herself together. She’s composing herself for him and he pats her hands.

“Thanks ma,” He says softly.

She smooths his hair away and looks at him. Her eyes are smiling even if they are getting teary.

“Rebbecca is proud of you. I know it. She wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He nods and then his ma turns her attention toward Steve. She reaches out for his hand.

“Thank you dear.”

Bucky glances his way and finds Steve blushing and stammering. “Uh for what?”

Winnifred shakes her head and squeezes his hand. “Just because.”

“Well, you’re welcome.”

She pats their knees and then gets up. She wipes her eyes. “Okay. Enough of this. That turkey isn’t gonna eat itself. Come on. Up, up!”

"We'll be right there ma." He sniffs and runs his hand through his hair.  
  
She smiles their way and leaves. Steve touches his arm. "Hey?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry for the way I acted--"  
  
"Steve no--"  
  
"No, hear me out, okay?" Then he holds Bucky’s shoulders. "I'm genuinely sorry that I snapped earlier. You're the last person I’d ever wanna hurt. Ever."

Bucky smiles. "I kinda overreacted...You were hurt..."  
  
"It was within your right."

"Next time, just...tell me. We're friends, right?"

Steve nods and pats his shoulders. "Of course. And I will. You got it."

Then Bucky pushes him out the door, a smile on his face. “Go. I’ll be right there. Gotta wash my face.”

Steve shakes his head at him and goes back out.

 

When Bucky is done, he finds that his eyes and nose are still red. He breathes deeply and heads to the dinning table. He finds the family being loud and all over. Nat is already on Clint's lap, feeding him what apparently is the last slice of pizza.  
  
As soon as they see him, Monty and Dernier envelop him in a group hug and then go back to their seats. Nat and Clint beckon him over and they hug his waist and he laughs. He goes and sits next to his ma. He appreciates that they don’t say anything. They know him well and that’s their way of showing support and respect.

His mother carves a slice of turkey for him and he suddenly looks around for Steve and the kids, wondering where they are.  
  
His ma leans toward him and says softly, "He's outside with the kids...something about push-ups or something."  
  
Bucky tries not to blush. "I wasn't..."

Then she winks at him, pats his hand and puts some salad for him. "Eat up."  
  
He smiles and decides not to put up a fight. “Did he at least eat?”

She whispers gently to him again, “Bless him…he didn’t want the kids to see you like this. That’s why he asked to be excused from the table. Said he’d eat later.”

Bucky feels like running out the backyard and hugging Steve. Just when he feels like he figured him out, he goes and surprises him with his kindness. Warmth fills his heart as he sits there, surrounded by all of his favorite people.

He believes that the night is going to get better for sure.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oblivious is the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for posting late. Was planning on posting it last night, but I got sick. Sorry 'Sidium'. Hope you all enjoy this chapter like I did ;) 
> 
> Btw, didn't mean for this chapter to be this long. Sorry.

 

 

 

It’s the second week after Thanksgiving. It starts to snow a little bit. This year, it seems that it won’t snow as much and Bucky is really grateful for that.

Winnifred went back to New York two days after the holiday and Bucky still misses her lively presence. The art and language lessons continue.

By now, Steve is able to carry out a conversation in Italian. Simple ones: pleasantries and asking for directions. Bucky is so proud when he immediately understands the questions Bucky throws his way.

 

 

It’s Sunday and Bucky is surfing through his e-mail, trying to decide which translation assignment to take next. Work has been good, and his clients are increasing. There are so many e-mails of requests that he’s scrolling through. He decides to start from those that came first and then work his way to the recent ones, keeping in mind to choose the shortest document. Christmas is upon them and he doesn’t want to work during the holidays.

His time is Kyle’s during Christmas.

He’s just dismissed a few when the door opens. He has just left Steve and Kyle to start their art session, so he frowns when he sees them at the door.

“May we come in?” Steve asks, his hand on Kyle’s shoulder.

Bucky notices that both of them have their sketchbooks with them. “What’s wrong?”

Steve looks a bit nervous and he scratches his head. Kyle is jumping up and down in excitement. “Can I tell him? Can I Stevie?”

“Sure,” Steve says, laughing lightly.

Bucky swivels away from his desk but doesn’t get up. He feels something awkward is coming his way. “What is it?”

“Stevie is gonna teach me how to draw you.”

 _Yup, awkward_ , he thinks.

Steve chuckles. “It’s a pose Kyle. We gotta ask him first.”

He looks up and Bucky gulps. Steve clears his throat. “First of all, you’re not translating are you?”

“No. It’s Sunday after my last submission. I’m basically choosing my next request. Wait, posing for you guys? Isn’t that too soon? Advanced?”

Kyle looks up at Steve and the adult explains, “Well, I was gonna go with nature next but this eager kid here wants to skip that. He wants to start learning how to draw people so I thought we could go ahead with –“

“But doesn’t that require me to be immobile? I mean, I kinda have…” and he glances at the screen. He really needs to choose a client tonight.

Steve waves his hand around. “No, no. That’s why I chose now. See, you can just pretend we’re not here. Feel free to move. Thing is…we’re kinda using your surroundings too.”

“What?” Kyle asks, lifting his head to look up at Steve.

He smiles and pats Kyle’s head. “I’ll explain later. Now Bucky, do we have your permission?”

Bucky shrugs. “I guess. You know I’d love to help but my face will be glued to the screen. Do you want me to move it a bit? I think I can…” and he swivels back to move his computer screen when Steve stops him.

“No, we want you to go on like normal. Your face isn’t gonna be our focus. We’re gonna deal with arms and shoulders…you’ll see.”

“Okay.” He sighs in relief. The last thing he wants is for Steve to focus on his face for a long period of time. “Where are you gonna sit?”

Steve points at the table in front of the couch. “Can I move this?”

“Go ahead.”

He moves the table and makes it horizontal. He sits on the ground and pats the spot next to him for Kyle. Bucky now has full visual of them, sitting there facing him. Suddenly, he feels very self-conscious. He glances at them and they’re very engrossed. Steve is leaning over and instructing Kyle on where to start on the page. Bucky notices that he does that as much as he can without using his own pencil.

Steve looks up and catches his eye. Bucky quickly looks at his screen. _Damn it!_

Then he resorts to his e-mails. He also reminds himself of the break coming up to motivate him to read through the messages.

 

After around fifteen minutes where there were only the sounds of pencil strokes on paper and faint whispers of Steve and Kyle, Bucky decides to speak and fill the atmosphere.

“So, you guys are gonna compare at the end? ‘Cause that’s not fair Steve and you know it.” He smirks as he peeks from behind the screen.

Steve pretends to scowl. “No, we’ll do it together so he can see how the process is. No comparing here.”

“Yeah uncle Bucky,” Kyle emphasizes and sports the same face as Steve and Bucky is trying to stifle his laughter but fails. Kyle’s next words sober him up pretty quick though.

“Oh Stevie, you got the face that fast?” Kyle asks, gasping as he hovers over Steve’s sketchbook. Bucky tries to will his heart to slow down. He wishes he could look but he’s distracted by the blush on Steve’s face.

“Yeah well—“

It’s always when he blushes that Bucky feels brave enough to be bold with him. So he teases him. “Wow Steve. You got my face memorized or something?”

Steve looks at Bucky, amusement in his eyes. His lips curl up. “Well, I got a photographic memory.”

“What does that mean Stevie?”

Kyle sits closer to Steve and Bucky’s heart warms as he sees his kid’s face eager to learn anything from Steve. “It means I can picture things in details even if I’ve seen them once.”

“Wow.” Kyle stares at him all starry-eyed.

Bucky just watches them with a dumb smile on his face. Then he sighs and goes back to the screen. It’s few minutes later that he really narrows it down to three clients with their respected translation requests. He’s frowning and biting his lower lip in concentration. Then he rubs his face and that’s when he hears Steve say softly, “No, don’t…”

Bucky’s head snaps. “Huh?”

And he looks at Steve who looks surprised that he had actually spoke. “Uh…”

“You said something?”

“Sorry, it’s just I was working on your expression and you kinda…” and he gestures with his hand around.

“Oh, sorry.” Then he stops and thinks. “Do you want me to frown again?”

Steve nods and then buries his head in his sketchbook and mutters, “And bite your lip.”

Bucky thinks his heart stops. His face must be red. His eyes stare at Steve and he’s glad that the guy is not looking his way. He gulps for the hundredth time that night.

 _Dear God! Kyle is right there_ , he thinks.

Bucky’s still staring at him and then Steve continues when he catches his eye. “Or don’t. It’s just I already drew you that way…I’m an idiot. Ignore me.”

He puts his paper away when Bucky quickly blurts, “No, I get it. Okay, I’ll do it.”

And he does it again. He bites his lower lip. Goes to try to narrow the three e-mails to one. Frowning and biting his lip. He’s trying to will his himself not to burst into flames. Steve’s an artist and he’s probably trying to capture his look at work. There’s nothing sexual about this.

 _Nothing!_ He screams internally.

“Done!” Kyle announces and Bucky heaves a sigh of relief at the interruption.

It seems Steve is glad too for he discards his sketchbook and turns to Kyle. “Let me see. Great job Kyle! Next time, just try to shade the lines a bit…like this…”

And he shows him. Bucky relaxes a bit and finally clicks on the request he wants. This time it’s in French.

 

***

 

After they have dinner that night and Kyle goes to sleep, they start their language lessons.

"So can I ask you a question? But please don't laugh."

Bucky puts away one of the books. "Of course. What is it?"

"Um… how do you say 'I miss you' in Italian?"

Bucky didn't expect that question. He thought Steve would ask a question regarding pronunciation.

Nonetheless, he smiles. "Sure. _Mi Manchi."_

Steve is watching him carefully then laughs. "Wait. Say it slowly Mr. Languages."

Bucky rolls his eyes. " _Mi Manchi."_

" _Mi Mancheee."_

"No. Don't stress too much. Okay?" Bucky instructs him.

Steve nods, brows frowning. “ _Okay."_

“Okay. So, just pronounce the second word lightly."

"All right. Say it one more time please,” Steve says with determination in his eyes. He turns sideways and Bucky realizes that he’s focusing on his lips. He unconsciously licks them and says it again.

Steve is frowning and repeats with him silently. He gets it the second time.

“Good job.” Bucky smiles his way.

“Thanks. Spelling?” And Steve grabs a pen and readies himself.

“Yeah. Sure.”

And Bucky spells it out for him. He watches in awe as Steve concentrates when he writes it down on his notebook. And he silently pronounces it again. All of a sudden Bucky has this desire to just give him a peck on the cheek. His cheek is probably soft for it seems he shaved this morning. When he catches his train of thought, he let's out a shaky breath.

Steve looks up. "What's wrong?"

Bucky smiles yearningly at him. "Nothing."

Steve blushes a bit. "I kinda wanna show off to some of my friends in New York. I’m sending them cards. Was thinking of writing ‘ _Mi Manchi_ ’ on them."

"Look at you Steve Rogers. Mr. Showoff."

Steve playfully punches him on the shoulder and they both laugh before getting back to the language lessons.  


***

The next day, Bucky surprises Kyle with buying a cork board and hanging it in the dinning room. Whenever he finishes a good sketch, he can pin it there. Kyle can pin his favorite artwork too. It’s not full yet, but the two are hopeful it will be by the end of the sessions.

Which Bucky hopes it won’t be for long time. A very long time.

“Now, let’s put some of your stuff.”

“I’ll choose the right side,” Kyle says as he opens one of his sketchbooks.

Bucky’s brows furrow. “How come?”

“So Stevie can choose to pin some of his art and he gets to have a side.”

Bucky finds that words fail him at how pure the kid is, so he just kisses his blond head. “How about you ask him that tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

And they both start on narrowing down the sketches. When they pin four, Kyle pulls one out but he hides it on his chest, holding it close.

“Um…I didn’t show this to him.”

“Oh? May I see it?”

Bucky crouches and Kyle hesitates and then scratches his head. “I drew this on my own. It still needs work, I think—no—I’m sure it needs a lotta work but I wanna show it to you first.”

Bucky searches the little face and can clearly see nerves and a bit of pink color tinting his round cheeks. “Okay buddy. Whatever it is, I’m sure you did a great job on it.”

“Okay, but don’t laugh.” And he flips the paper and Bucky’s breath catches.

It’s a rough sketch of their dinning table with Bucky sitting at the head while Steve and Kyle sit on his sides. The faces aren’t sketched yet but the bodies are well-proportioned. There’s emphasis on Bucky’s hair, Steve’s broad shoulders and Kyle’s fluffy hair and short legs that won’t reach the ground.

“Kyle, it’s…beautiful.”

The kid’s eyes widen. “Really? Really uncle Bucky?”

“Yes, how did you…?”

He takes it from him and inspects it closely. Kyle comes and leans on Bucky’s shoulder, putting his arm there across his back.

“Uncle Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“I want it to be my Christmas gift to him.”

Bucky turns his face to him. “That’s why you couldn’t ask him for help.”

“Yeah.”

“Is that why you asked him to teach you to draw people so soon?“

Kyle nods and Bucky shakes his head at him in wonder. “Why choose this scene? This picture?”

“Well,” and he leans his chin on Bucky’s head who sits now cross-legged on the floor. “I like our art sessions and every time he comes here. He tells me so many new things. But I really like when we have dinner together. Plus, I want him to see that happy time and remind him so he won’t leave.”

Bucky snaps his head around, making Kyle jerk back. “Leave? What makes you think that?”

The kid sits next to Bucky and takes the paper. “When we draw, he talks about New York a lot. A LOT uncle Bucky.”

Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. “He’s from there Kyle. He’s bound to talk about it. I’m from there, remember? Your ma too.”

“I know, but…“

Bucky’s heart is hammering and near panicking. Did Steve mention leaving to the kid?

“Did he say it? Actually tell you that he’s leaving?”

“No uncle Bucky. I just don’t want him to that’s all. I like him. He’s…Stevie.”

Bucky smiles affectionately at him and beckons him to sit on his lap. “Come ‘ere.”

When he sits and leans back, Bucky kisses his head and rests his chin gently on his head. “Steve isn’t leaving. At least as far as I know. Plus, if he leaves, I’m sure he won’t forget about us and also I’m sure he’d visit.”

“But I don’t want him to leave.”

He finds himself almost agreeing to that loudly and admitting it to his nephew when he composes himself. Kyle doesn’t need to know about his stupid silly crush. He also needs to ease his nephew into the idea that he might leave.

Bucky takes a deep breath. “We can’t control people’s lives buddy. And I don’t think you need to worry at all.”

Kyle looks up. “Yeah?”

“Yup. He has a house here, so I don’t think he’s leaving any time soon. He really loves that house.”

He looks away as he remembers how it’s Peggy’s. How it came to be. How he’ll always be attached to it.

Kyle sighs. “I guess you’re right.” Then asks, “What are you gonna get him for Christmas?”

That catches him off guard. He hasn’t thought about it because he got lost in translating the latest French document.

“I have no idea. Can you help me?”

“Yes!”

Ideas quickly crowd his brain. “I’m thinking I can order something for him online. Wanna go to the office and browse.”

“Yes! This is the BEST day ever and ever!”

 

They end up browsing for all types of things. But Bucky is still not satisfied. Kyle suggests art supplies or books. Bucky tells him he would think more about it. Kyle ends up lying on the couch in the office, reading avidly one of Bucky’s favorite childhood books.

Thing is Bucky is feeling really conflicted since they’re not spending Christmas at home. Kyle doesn’t know that he had booked tickets to Disney World. With the Barton’s.

That was all before Steve moved into their neighborhood and pretty much became a part of their everyday life.

Then he gets it. He knows what to get him. He springs up, scaring Kyle. “Sorry. Just need to make a long distance phone call.”

 

***

 

The next day Steve comes over and is overjoyed with the idea of the cork board. When Kyle asks him to pin his stuff on it, he gently tells him that he shouldn’t have them up there. He’s able to convince him that it should only hold the progress of his own work.

Later that night Steve is washing the dishes while Bucky is making them tea.

Bucky looks out the window. “It’s not gonna snow tomorrow.”

“Really? Finally. I hate winter.”

“I’m not a fan either.” Then he gets out two cups when the water is boiled.

“I’m going to this store that sells organic fruit and vegetables tomorrow morning. It’s like fifteen minutes outta town. You want me to get you something?”

Steve looks out the window, pauses in washing and then resumes. “I don’t know. But I’ll go with you. Not gonna let you go in this weather alone.”

Bucky frowns and looks at him as he chooses tea flavors. “I just told you about the forecast tomorrow.”

“Yeah well, I don’t trust the roads. I’ll come with.”

Bucky nudges him with his shoulder and with full sarcasm says, “You're my knight in my shining armor then?"

Steve smiles as he turns off the tabs and dries his hands. "Nah. You're a knight in your own right Bucky."

Bucky stares at him for seconds then smiles shyly. He hands him his cup. “ _Andiamo_ Steve. Let’s see if you didn’t forget your homework this time.”

“That was one time Bucky. One time!”

Bucky laughs as they walk to the office.

 

***

Next morning, Bucky finishes editing four pages and has two more when the bell rings. He smiles and quickly saves his work and logs off. He gets his car keys and grabs his jacket and scarf. When he opens the door, he’s met with Steve holding out two huge travel mugs.

“Ta da.”

Bucky smiles widely. “What’s this?” and he takes the one Steve hands him over as he closes the door behind him and locks it.

“It’s hot chocolate. Made it myself.”

Bucky gasps. “You? Steve Rogers? Wait,” and he looks at Steve’s house. “The house isn’t burned…hmm—Ow!” He rubs his forearm after Steve’s punch.

“It’s my secret. It’s the only thing I can make.” Then Steve gets in the car after Bucky and fastens his seat belt. “Actually, I looked it up online last night.”

Bucky chuckles. “Thanks anyway.”

Steve holds his hand before starting the car. “Try it first, will ya?”

Bucky frowns. “You don’t look convinced.” And he opens the lid and smells the sweet aroma of the chocolate in the chilly weather.

“I honestly didn’t taste it. I’m too scared I messed it up, but I swear I did all the steps…” and he trails off when Bucky takes a sip and hums delightedly.

“So good. You passed.”

Steve punches the air in triumph. “Yes!”

And he starts drinking, and Bucky can’t put down his cup. The hot chocolate is delicious.

 

***

 

After Bucky buys some fresh produce and Steve just buys pineapples, which makes Bucky smile, they head back.

“Do you mind if we swing by the supermarket? Gotta get some milk and cereal for Kyle,” Bucky asks as he steals a glance at Steve. There's still time before he picks up Kyle from school.

He chuckles at Steve who’s taking a large bite of the fresh apple given to him by the owner for free. She probably couldn’t resist the blue eyes.

“Not at all. I need some stuff too.”

 

They stop at the supermarket near their neighborhood. After they each grab a small basket, they go their separate ways. Bucky is in the cereal aisle, trying to pick a new one for himself. He likes to try different types from time to time.

“Excuse me?”

Bucky turns and finds a young man who’s holding a box of pop tarts. “Yes?”

“I'm kinda lost in all these options. What do you recommend I get for cereal?"

Bucky almost blurts ‘are you kidding me?’ but then thinks maybe the guy’s overwhelmed and just wants someone to make the decision for him.

"Uh…well, personally, I like a couple of them. Frosted Flakes and Special K. But you can also try…" He trails off when he sees that the guy is staring at him, unblinking. He’s about to ask him if he’s all right when the guy shakes his head, blushing a bit.

"Sorry, I'm just so bad at this but please don't think I’m weird. I really don’t give a shit about cereals. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you."

 _This is a surprise_ , Bucky thinks. He doesn’t know what to do or say.

"Oh."

"Would you wanna maybe grab a cup of coffee later?"

Bucky raises his brows in surprise. He didn’t see that coming. It’s been so long— _so long_ —since the last time someone actually hit on him or asked him out just like that. He’s spent the last five years cooped up in that quiet neighborhood raising his nephew and not really thinking about getting ‘out there’.

But he already has his answer ready. There’s no place for dating in his life and the stranger doesn’t need to know that. He takes a few seconds long to answer and the guy quickly apologizes.

“Oh God, you're not gay! I’m sorry—“

“No, I’m gay. It’s just …” Bucky does what he hates most.

He lies. "Sorry but I'm involved."

The guy looks down and then smiles sadly. "Knew it. No one who looks like you could be available."

Bucky blushes a bit and runs his hand through is hair. "Uh...I’m sorry?"

The guy laughs and even though he's not his type, he looks cute laughing.

"Don't. He's a lucky guy."

Bucky feels like shit for lying. "Thanks."

"Well, have a good one."

"You too."

And then he lets out a long breath and loosens his arms. _Well, that went well_ , he thinks. It was easy. But he still finds himself wanting to erase the whole thing from his mind. He grabs two boxes randomly and drops them in the basket. Then when he turns, heading down the next aisle, he finds Steve looking very confused and upset at all types of bottled water. Bucky takes a deep breath and smiles. He wonders and also worries if the person he’s staring at is part of why he actually just lied.

  
  
***

 

The two walk to the car and Steve offers to drive. Bucky throws the keys his way. They get in and Bucky opens the windows. It's a sunny day and he's so glad. Usually by this time of year it gets really cold, snow basically stops all kinds of outings. Not this year and he’s so glad. Otherwise, their Christmas trip is pointless.

Steve parks the car in Bucky’s driveway but doesn’t get out. Bucky is handing him a bag of Starburst he had bought at the cashier. He pops one in his mouth then turns off the ignition. They just sit there as they enjoy the quiet time.

“How’s work?” Steve asks after he swallows the candy.

Bucky chews as he nods. “Good. Have two pages left of editing. That step is a bitch.”

Steve chuckles and then unfastens his seat belt but then hesitates to get out. Bucky puts the candy back in the bag he has and opens his door. When he sees Steve not moving, he closes the door and looks at him concerned.

“Steve?”

Steve doesn’t look his way and instead plays with his fingers and then drums them silently on the steering wheel. “Who was the guy?”

Bucky rests his back. “Huh? What guy?”

This time Steve turns and looks at him. He seems nervous. “The guy at the supermarket.”

“Could you be more specific? There were so many people. You mean the cashier?”

Steve sighs and now it’s apparent that he’s flustered. “The guy who was talking to you in the cereal aisle Bucky.”

Bucky racks his brain. _How did Steve see them? He wasn’t there_.

“How did you even…you’re truly an FBI agent, I’ll tell ya that.”

He’s trying to lighten the weird conversation they’re having and it works. Steve laughs and turns to sit sideways. “I was…uh…looking for you and when I turned into that aisle, I saw you guys, so I retreated. Didn’t wanna interrupt or intrude.”

“Well, you didn’t have to retreat. Don’t know the guy.”

“What did he want then?”

There is no way out of this and Bucky answers him in a quick breath. “He was trying to ask me out.” For some reason he feels shy admitting that so he busies himself with arranging the contents of the bag.

“Oh?” and Steve’s drumming his fingers again, eyes averting when Bucky looks up. “And what did you say?” he asks softly.

Bucky sighs. “I told him I was involved.”

Steve snaps his head to him, eyes wide. “You are?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Yes, Steve. Didn’t you meet my invisible boyfriend? Mr. Invisible Man.”

Steve lightly punches him on the knee. “Jerk.”

“Punk.”

Steve then frowns. “But why did you say that then?”

Bucky turns fully to him, his hands resting in his lap. “That’s my default answer. I’m not implying that I get hit on a lot but...I have a kid. He’s all I care about in this life. Plus, who’d wanna date a guy with a kid? _Correction_ , who’d wanna have a committed relationship with a guy with a kid?”

“Aw Bucky but you can’t go on thinking like that. Take my friend Sam for example. He’s dating a single mom who has a kid. He loves them so much. And he’s planning on popping the question soon.”

Bucky gives him a genuine smile. “That’s because he’s a good guy. Sam is probably a gem.”

Steve smiles. “He is. And I’m sure there are a lot of guys like him out there.”

Bucky is trying not to get irritated a bit. Steve’s not getting him. No one gets him when it comes to this issue. He sighs. “Dating someone means spending time away from my kid and I can’t…it’s not fair to either party. Plus, my long-term goal is having a serious relationship.”

“So what? You’re gonna stay single forever?”

Bucky scratches his head and tries to think of a good answer. He doesn’t really know. He doesn’t think he’ll ever know.

Yet, he finds himself speaking from the heart. “I don’t know. But what I do know for certain is that I don’t want it to be anybody. I need him to be worthy of bringing him into Kyle’s life. Someone I’m sure who’s gonna stay and not leave. Someone who’s gonna be a partner. And that’s hard to find.”

Steve looks at him kindly and then touches his shoulder lightly. “You’ll find him one day. I’m positive.”

Bucky looks at him and tries to read anything in his eyes. His stupid heart is hoping that there’s something there. Something behind the sudden questioning. But Steve looks genuine and Bucky’s hope dies. He’s dismissed that tiny, tiny hope he has in his heart when it comes to Steve reciprocating something, anything. Never tried to entertain it. Yet, he finds himself in that moment realizing that he honestly hopes there’s something. Looking at Steve in that moment is a wake-up call.

He’s a friend who’s concerned about his well-being. So, Bucky breathes deeply and plasters a smile on his face.

He doesn’t lie though when he says, “I’m not in a hurry.”

 

***

 

It's two weeks before Christmas. Steve comes over for the sessions with hot chocolate and donuts for all three. Bucky is thankful it’s Friday because Kyle would be on a sugar rush from all that.

After dinner that night, language lessons start and Steve is very well on his way to start a conversation just by himself. Bucky tests him on the words for days, months, and asks questions and he is able to answer all.

He decides on not teaching something new and Steve double-checks his pronunciation with Bucky. Then when time is up, Bucky fidgets and doesn’t know how to tell him about their Christmas plans. He's been meaning to for a while but couldn't.

He’s grateful when Steve starts. “Hey, I need your help. What can I get Kyle for Christmas?”

“Obviously art supplies.”

Steve raises a brow. “Well, you got that covered being the cool uncle you are and all.”

Bucky chuckles. “I don’t know. I didn’t buy him all the supplies. He likes books too. Comics.”

“What about you? What did you get him? Maybe I could get an idea,” Steve asks as he arranges his booklets and inspects some note cards.

Bucky looks around and then turns to him. “That’s what I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

The nerves in his voice probably tip Steve off because he stops what he’s doing and looks up. He puts the books back on the table.

“What is it?” There’s worry in his voice.

Bucky smiles to show him that it’s nothing dramatic. “I kinda planned for this a year ago. Uh…I’m taking him to Disney World.”

Steve’s eyes widen and he lets out a breathless laugh. “Oh my God! That’s … Wow Bucky.”

“I know. But I didn’t tell him yet. We and the Barton’s. We’re gonna tell the kids tomorrow night since it’s gonna be Saturday and all.”

“Wow. I mean…okay I know every kid loves Disney World but I never pegged him a fan.”

“He actually asked me to go last year and I told him I’d take him when he becomes ten years old. But that was a white lie. I wanted just to have enough …you know…be able to afford the whole trip. And obviously I couldn’t let him wait until he becomes ten.”

Steve shakes his head and then slaps Bucky on the back. “You’re just …this is amazing. So what…like are you gonna give him the tickets and go in the summer—“

“No, we’ll spend Christmas there. Uh…our flight is next week.”

Steve’s face falters. “Oh…”

Bucky waits and he somehow feels guilty. _Why though?_

“We’re gonna spend two weeks there. New Year’s Eve too,” Bucky adds.

Steve smiles and looks away. “Wow…this is gonna be one great holiday.”

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier-"

"Oh my God Bucky don't. It's okay. Really."

Bucky can’t help but sense that Steve is a bit down. _Now, how’s he gonna spend Christmas? He has no one._

“You’re welcome to join us if you want,” he blurts without thinking. _As always._

Steve looks kind of scandalized. “No, absolutely not! This is the time for you and Kyle. It’s gonna be memorable and who better to do it with than family.”

 _But you’re family too_ , he thinks and freezes at the thought that came out of nowhere.

_Abort!_

“What are your plans?” he asks and stands up to get some books he’s been meaning to give him. He doesn’t want to embarrass Steve by waiting for an answer.

He gives him time and Steve sighs. “Um… I’ll stay here. Sam’s here. I think Maria and Coulson, my former work buddies, will stop by. Don’t worry about me.”

Bucky stands there and then he almost offers to chip in to buy a ticket for him but if he does say that, what would Steve think? He remembers Clint’s advice. He doesn’t wanna offend the guy or make him feel like a charity case. Plus, what would that say about Bucky? He doesn’t wanna suffocate the guy. They’re friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Of course Bucky to him is not like Sam to Steve. Or Maria and Coulson.

So he decides to respect that.

He’s gonna miss him though. _Damn it!_

“These are books for you to read during our two week break.”

Steve gets this forlorn look. “Already? Homework?”

“You bet. They’re books about how to educate, improve oneself about learning foreign languages. They’d help, trust me.”

“I’ll give them back as soon as I see you. When are you leaving by the way?” Steve puts the books with the others.

“Monday.”

Steve looks up quick. “Oh shit! That's two days from now. What am I gonna do with Kyle’s present? I didn’t do anything yet.”

Bucky waves a hand at him. “Give it to him when he gets back. Don’t stress yourself. Plus, it’ll give you time to decide on one.”

Steve seems to be thinking hard and then nods. “Okay.” Then he smiles Bucky’s way. “So this is the last session—“

“No, there’s still Sunday. Our flight is on Monday at noon. Plus, you can’t expect me not to give you assignments.”

Steve's shoulders sag. “You’re gonna kill me, aren’t ya?”

Bucky pats his shoulder. “Only a little.”

 

***

 

The next day is Saturday and the three adults are sitting around the table with the kids busy eating. Bucky gets the okay signs from Clint and Nat. He takes a deep breath.

“Kids. Listen up please.”

The two little ones stop what they’re doing and look up. “We have a surprise for you two. From us.”

“What is it uncle Bucky?” Kyle asks, looking excited.

He’s so glad that the two are smart enough to know that Santa isn’t real. Otherwise, this would’ve been a tricky conversation.

“Uh…we all got you one Christmas gift only. Unfortunately.”

He’s holding back a smile as he sees their disappointed looks. Kyle then gnaws on his lip before saying, “That’s okay. It’s the thought that matters. That’s what Ms. Smith keeps telling us.”

“Yeah. It’s okay mommy and daddy,” Nicole says ask she pats her mom’s hand.

Bucky almost gives in to his impulse and smothers them in kisses. How did they get lucky with those two?

Nat obviously doesn’t have the same strength. She kisses Nicole’s head and Kyle’s hand. “I just can’t with you two.”

“Well, it’s a pretty big one. That’s why we wanna tell you now.”

The two kids sit back. “Okay.”

“What is it?” Nicole asks fidgeting.

“We’re all going to Disney World after tomorrow.”

As he predicts, all three adults cover their ears.

 

***

 

On the day of their trip, Bucky wakes up early, brews coffee and showers. After he makes sure he gets the confirmation through his e-mail that his translation has been received and he's been payed, he darts to Kyle’s room and wakes him up.

In an hour, and after making sure Kyle has a big breakfast, they’re ready. It’s still four hours to their flight, but it’s better to get there ahead of time. He makes sure Kyle has his backpack and he drags their suitcase as he slings his messenger bag across his chest.

“Can we say goodbye to Stevie?”

“Of course we’re gonna stop by. Was just gonna tell you,” he says to his nephew, smiling.

He makes sure everything is turned off, then opens the door, Kyle ahead of him.

They almost crash into Steve.

"Stevie!” and Kyle hugs him.

“Hey buddy.”

“Hey! We were just about to stop by." Bucky closes the door and locks up.

"Oh?"

Bucky tilts his head to the side. "You didn't think we'd go without saying goodbye did you?"

"I actually came to offer to drive you there," he says as he insists on carrying the suitcase to the car.

"No, Steve. It's okay--"

"Come on. Why would you wanna leave your car there and waste money? I'll pick you up. Please. I'm not going anywhere."

"You sure? You're absolutely sure?"

"Positive."

"Yay!" Kyle throws his arms in the air.

Steve chuckles as he high-fives Kyle. He stretches his hand for the keys and Bucky throws them his way. "Thanks Steve. Really appreciate it."

"This the BEST day ever and ever!"

The adults laugh and Kyle spends the whole ride telling them everything about Disney World. He had spent the previous days looking up all kinds of information on it, hogging Bucky’s computer.

Kyle asks Bucky to hand over his notebook of plans. He gets it out of his messenger bag and stretches to the back to hand it over and in the process he catches a whiff of Steve. He's wearing some sort of faint body spray and Bucky spends longer than necessary stretching to give the notebook, just staring at Steve closely before quickly averting his eyes and sitting back. Lucky for him, Steve is on a roll with Kyle exchanging information. Kyle is astonished when he learns that Steve has been to Disney World once. And he takes notes on the type of spots he needs to check.

Steve drops them off and goes to park, asking them to wait for him before they head to the gate.

Clint calls Bucky and informs him that they're already at the gate. He quickly gets the boarding passes and then checks-in their suitcase. He checks the time. They still have two hours to spare. They wait at a cafe and then Bucky texts Steve where they are. Then he smiles as he sends a text to Pietro.

 

**_Don’t forget, all right? Christmas morning. Run there if u have to._ **

 

The reply comes quick.

 

**_Don’t worry. I’m fast, remember? ;P_ **

 

He laughs slightly and then spots Steve coming their way. Bucky has already ordered coffee for both of them and a chocolate milk for Kyle who's scribbling stuff on his notebook.

"Hey!" Steve says breathlessly as he sits down.

Bucky looks at him in amusement. "Did you just run here?"

"Yeah."

Bucky hands him his drink and Steve looks defeated. "You didn't have to. Was gonna do that for you guys."

"Shut up and just drink it."

They sit there and drink silently only interrupted by Kyle's questions for Steve about Disney and for Bucky about the time they have to board.

Twenty minutes later and Bucky says they have to go before the lines get longer. Steve walks them until they reach the customs.

"Well," he breathes.

"This is it then."

Bucky doesn't know how to act. He thought before that it'd be easy but he’s finding it hard that they’re actually going to part ways. Then Steve looks at Kyle, gets down on his knees and holds his little shoulders.

"I'll see you soon buddy."

Bucky watches carefully as Kyle hesitantly puts his hand on Steve's shoulder and then says, "Gonna miss you Stevie."

"Gonna miss you too little guy."

“I’m not little. I’m six!”

Steve chuckles and Kyle circles his little arms around Steve's neck and hugs him so tight. Bucky fears his heart is gonna burst out of his chest. He wants to capture this moment forever. Taking a picture with his phone is out of the question, so he tries to memorize it by noticing every little detail.

Steve closes his eyes and breathes Kyle and it's that gesture that makes Bucky look away.

_What have I done?_

Then Steve pats Kyle's back and pulls away. "Don't forget the Pirate of the Caribbean ride." Then he nods toward Bucky. "Make sure your uncle doesn't get scared."

"Ha ha," Bucky says. "Very funny. That's the best you could do?"

Kyle giggles. "I'll hold his hand."

And that gets Steve and he cackles but then motions for Kyle to come closer and whispers in his ear. Bucky can't hear what Steve’s saying but sees Kyle nodding his head along.

"Okay Stevie."

Bucky then welcomes Kyle who snuggles up to him. Steve stands up and smiles at Bucky.

Bucky blurts, "Don't forget the assignments I gave you."

"Yeah Stevie."

"You guys ganging up on me now? All right...I see how this is."

And he chuckles at Kyle's giggles. Then the two adults just stand there and Bucky is thinking of saying something when Steve just steps closer and gives him a hug. Bucky finds himself tightening his hold on him. When he realizes what he's doing, he goes to break away but Steve locks him in tight between his strong arms.

Bucky hears himself laugh breathlessly and then pats Steve's back. "I'll see ya soon."

"Yeah, you better," Steve says before he clears his throat and steps back.

Bucky gazes into his blue eyes before breaking eye contact. The last thing he wants is to embarrass himself in an airport of all places.

They all wave at each other and they head to the gate. After they go through TSA checkpoint, Bucky picks up Kyle's backpack, his own messenger bag and shoes. He makes sure Kyle is ready to go and after he straightens up, he turns around. A wide smile decorates Bucky's face as he finds Steve still standing there. He waves and Bucky waves back.

"He's still there? Let me see uncle Bucky. Pick me up."

And Bucky laughs slightly and picks up his nephew, carrying him with one arm. Kyle immediately circles his arms around Bucky’s neck, his legs around his waist.

"Easy buddy," he says breathlessly as Kyle waves wildly at Steve, making Bucky almost lose his balance.

Steve is worse than Kyle for he comically waves his arms around, jumping in his spot and Bucky shakes his head at him.

Kyle giggles and then Bucky starts moving. He walks backwards because he doesn't have the heart to turn his back first. Apparently neither does Steve. That's why Bucky mouths, "Go".

Steve, who Bucky discovers is a total dork, actually yells so loudly. "You first!"

That ends up scaring an old lady passing by Steve. The way he apologizes to her is adorable.

“Stevie is so funny,” Kyle comments as he waves, laughing.

It gets crowded and people block Bucky’s sight and he can’t see Steve anymore. So, he sighs and turns around, Kyle still in his arms. He doesn’t wanna get down.

“What did Steve tell you, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Kyle asks as he plays with some strands of Bucky’s hair. He puts them behind his ears and Bucky is thankful since his hands are obviously full.

“Earlier. When he whispered in your ear…or is it a secret?” he winks at his nephew who’s still playing with his hair.

“I don’t think it’s a secret. He was very nice. He told me…” and he tries to imitate Steve’s voice. “Take care of uncle Bucky for me.”

Bucky’s heart leaps and his steps slow down as he processes the words. “He…he said that? You sure, he said those exact words?”

Kyle asks him to put him down and Bucky obliges. “Yeah. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you uncle Bucky.”

It takes Bucky few seconds to compose himself in front of the kid. Kyle has no idea how those words are affecting him. He smiles at the innocence of the kid. “Uh…thanks Kyle.”

“I mean…” And Kyle shrugs. “I’ll hold your hand too when we get on the pirates’ ride. You know, when you get scared.”

Bucky stops and widens his eyes at him. “You think you’re being funny, don’t you?”

Kyle tries to look serious but then bursts out laughing and runs away from Bucky who shakes his head at him and follows along. His brain tells him not to read into Steve's words to Kyle.

His heart is another matter. His heart is soaring.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Andiamo = Let's go


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Wait for me to come home...
> 
> \--Ed Sheeran's Photograph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never been to Disney World. Been to Disneyland though... Oh and the pining reaches new heights.

 

 

 

 

As soon as they land, Bucky turns on his cell phone to check the time. His heart skips when he sees a text from Steve. He sent it an hour ago.

_Text me when u land?_

On impulse, Bucky nudges his nephew who takes off his headphones.

"Silly selfie for Stevie?"

"Yes!"

And Bucky crosses his eyes while Kyle makes a duck face and takes the picture. He sends it to Steve who replies with:

_:P_

 

The two small families head to the car Clint had rented. The Disney resort hotel could’ve arranged to drive them there, but Clint was adamant that he gets to rent a vehicle, stating that he wants to be free to go wherever. He had insisted that Bucky doesn't rent one.

As soon as Bucky steps out into the slightly windy but sunny weather, he breathes it in and basks in the sun. Then when Clint brings the car over, Bucky yells, "I call shotgun!"

Nat snorts. "Please." And she shoves him and sits in front.

"That's not fair Nat! I called it!"

Clint yells from inside the car as Bucky helps to put the suitcases in the trunk. "We haven't been to the Magic Kingdom and you're behaving like kids already."

Bucky chuckles and makes sure the kids are safely settled inside the car before he hops in.  


***

They end up in two rooms on the same floor and very close to each other. Bucky couldn't find a room with two beds and resigned to a room with a king-size bed. He's happy about it and Kyle is ecstatic.

"Just like when I was little uncle Bucky, remember?"

Bucky ruffles his hair. "Yeah buddy. Just like old times."

Up until he was four years old, he used to sleep in Bucky's bed. Curled beside him.

 

As soon as they settle in, they go out to have lunch and the kids are having the time of their lives just because they’re in the same space as Disney World. All four decide to visit the Magic Kingdom on Christmas day. So, they start with the Animal Kingdom. It’s crowded and they spend most of the day there, enjoying their time. Only Bucky, Kyle and Nicole run around excited. Clint and Nat have been to Disney World before. For them, it’s pretty familiar. So, Bucky finds himself basically handling the kids and enjoying his time while the couple walk leisurely behind them.

By the time they head back to the hotel, they are so exhausted Bucky barely has the time to brush his own teeth. He quickly makes Kyle wash up, change and flop down on the bed, curling up next to Bucky.

Bucky welcomes the kid in his arms and he smiles as he remembers when he used to do that when he was a baby.

 

***

 

The next day they all head to the gigantic swimming pool in the morning. It’s so sunny they don’t really care. It’s so welcoming that Bucky doesn’t want to go in the pool. So, Clint gets in with the kids. They race and horse around, Clint more childish than them.

Bucky is lying down on one of the pool chairs, enjoying the sun, sunglasses shielding his eyes. Nat is sitting in the chair next to him, sunbathing.

"I can't believe I’m actually here and not in a courtroom." She sighs in content.

"Shhh… I'm having an intimate moment with the sun." Bucky’s body is thrumming with the warmth.

He's relishing the sunny sky. The feeling reminds him of how lucky he is to be sitting here and not suffering in the cold weather back home. It must be freezing up north by now. Then his mind goes to Steve. He quickly takes a shot of the sunny sky and sends him the picture with no caption. Then he peeks from his slouching posture at the kids and they're in their own world. Clint gets out and walks until he stands in front of them.

"You're blocking the sun Barton," Bucky says lazily.

"Oh sorry your highness."

And very swiftly, Clint jumps on Nat who squeals and Bucky jerks aside, clutching his chest. "Fuck Clint! You scared me."

He practically lies on top of her and she's trying to weasel her way out. "Ew you're wet."

"Wet for you babe," he drawls, a grin decorating his face.

"Oh My God! Stop it with these lines Barton." Bucky puts his arm over his eyes. Watching them make out is the last thing he wants. He hears Nat giggling and coaxing her husband to get off of her.

“You know she can kick your ass, right?” Bucky comments as he sits up remembering the kids are still in the pool. He watches them and they’re playing with their small water guns.

“Yes, Clint. I could literally take you out with my thighs,” she says trying to look threatening but failing.

Bucky smirks and glances at them. Then Clint smiles broadly. “I’ll die a happy man then.”

Bucky huffs and looks back at the kids after saying; “Please remember that you’re in a public place where kids are enjoying their time… before you go at it like rabbits.”

He hears Clint groan and Nat sigh. “Gone are the days of rabbits.”

Bucky frowns and looks back at them. Clint is lying on his side, barely holding himself up. If Nat moves a bit, he’d fall. His arm is around her waist and she’s playing with his hair.

He doesn’t want to see that look on their faces, so Bucky says, “Um…listen guys, if you want a night out, I’m willing to take care of Nicole for you. Babysit I mean.”

“Aww. Ever the martyr,” Nat says sweetly, yet her eyebrow is raised in amusement.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I’m being nice here.”

Clint sits up. “Since when have you been anything but?”

Bucky turns to them, shaking his head at them. “Fuck you both.”

“Speaking of fucking—“

“Oh God,” and he turns his back to them to watch the kids.

“We think it should be the other way around. We’ll take care of the kids and you go out.”

Bucky feels goosbumps and he rubs his arm. It’s not a fun topic for him to talk about, especially with the nosy couple. They know his stance on the matter. Yet, he finds himself frowning. “You think I came all the way to Orlando for a fling? I’m here for my kid.”

Nat sits up, and Clint moves a bit closer so she can climb his lap. “We didn’t say start a relationship or get married. Just one night, go out and have fun for a change.”

He looks back at the kids who are now playing with some other kids their age. “I’m having fun now thanks.”

“As I recall Barnes, you once went to New York to let your mom watch your nephew so you could have a one night stand.”

Bucky hangs his head and can’t believe that they’re doing this to him now. At a public place. A public pool. He just wanted to have a nice time with his friend, the sun.

“And?” he asks irritated as he glances their way.

Clint waves his hand around. “I’m saying this is your chance. Another state. No strings attached.”

He shakes his head. “Last year was different.”

Clint frowns. “How in God’s name was it different?”

Nat clears her throat but Bucky still feels her smirking. “Last year there wasn’t a Steve Rogers.”

This is when Bucky hangs his head low for the hundredth time. Then he turns to give them a piece of his mind when he sees that Clint has covered his face with a towel and pretended to be asleep. The gesture makes him smile in spite of his irritation. Nat, on the other hand, is daring him to challenge her. He really doesn’t want to even do anything.

He takes off his sunglasses and regards them. “Aaand I’m gonna stop listening to you guys starting…Now!”

And he gets up and grabs his phone when it pings. It’s a message.

 

_I’m really mad. You can’t have the sun all 2 urself._

 

Bucky smiles and then walks up to the edge of the pool. He calls out to the kids for a silly pose and they give him a brilliant one. Nicole makes a fish face and Kyle jumps in the pool, spreading his arms wide. He chuckles and snaps a shot. He quickly sends it to Steve with the caption:

 

_Does this make it up to you?_

 

It’s seconds before Steve replies:

 

_Ur the worst!_

 

He feels some whistles his way and looks up to see Nat shaking her head at him. “That must be Rogers.”

Clint wiggles his brows at his wife and Bucky locks his phone and throws it on the chair. He points at the pool.

“I’m gonna go and drown myself because it’s way better than sitting with you guys.”

And he jumps before listening to their pleads.

 

***

 

Later at the end of the day, and after they enjoy every minute exploring Disney’s Hollywood Studios and Epcot, they end up having dinner there. As they wait for their food, Kyle asks Bucky to give him his sketchbook. He starts sketching and Bucky smiles at him and snaps a picture of him without him knowing.

He sends it to Steve.

_Look what you did to my kid._

 

He puts his phone away and enjoys an adult night out. It’s been a long time since he got to enjoy talking to Clint and Nat about anything but his love life.

When they get back to their hotel, each family in their separate rooms, they barely have the energy to get ready for bed. Bucky asks Kyle to go brush his teeth when he checks his phone only to find a missed call from Steve. His heart jumps and he quickly dials his number. According to his phone, Steve had called an hour ago.

He picks up and Bucky is about to say ‘Hey’ when he hears a sneeze. He puts his phone away from his ear.

“Sorry Bucky,” and then he coughs.

Bucky mutters softly, “Bless you.”

“Thanks.”

“Sorry. I didn’t hear my cell—“

“Nah, it’s okay. So…”

“So…” and Bucky feels like he just ran a marathon. His heart is beating erratically. It’s been two days since leaving and all they’d been doing is texting.

“I had nothing to do with it.”

Bucky snaps out of his thoughts. “What?”

“Kyle’s picture. Your caption. That kid is meant to be an artist…long before I came into the picture.”

Bucky chuckles. “You should see him Steve. He’s sketching everything. The roads, the buildings, and pretty much anything. He even let Clint pose for him…he had to sit still for thirty minutes. I enjoyed that since Clint is a pain in the neck. He needs his own babysitter.”

Steve laughs and then coughs so badly Bucky has to wait for it to die down. “That sounds bad. When did you get it?”

“Yesterday. God Bucky…I can’t even open my eyes. I’m practically in bed all day.”

“What brought it on? No, let me guess. You’re still jogging shirtless in the middle of winter. What the hell is wrong with ya?” Bucky finds himself getting upset and huffs out a breath.

Steve blows his nose and Bucky feels sorry for him. “Well, I’ve been doing it for a long time. I think it’s DC man. Back in New York I never had a problem jogging shirtless.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Please. Don’t blame the city. New York will always be worse than DC in winter.”

“Okay, why do I feel attacked right now?” Steve asks apprehensive.

“Because you gotta be careful. Did you see a doctor?”

Steve snickers. “No. It’s just cold Bucky.”

“That doesn’t sound like cold to me. I’ll send you the name of my doctor and …you know what, I’ll just call him and book you—“

“Bucky! Stop. I’m fine. Sam’s mom has been sending me chicken soup and Sam stops by every few hours. He got me all the over the counter medications.”

“Still…” Bucky rubs his forehead.

“If it gets worse, I’ll go. Don’t worry. So, tell me about sunny Orlando. Please.”

Bucky sighs and he’s still frowning when Kyle jumps on the bed already in his pajamas. “Who’s that? Why do you look upset uncle Bucky?”

And as always, Kyle passes his palm over Bucky’s brows to ease the tension. Bucky smiles tiredly at him. “It’s Steve.”

“OH! Can I talk to him please? Pretty, pretty please.” And his arms circle Bucky’s neck..

He chuckles. “Steve, Kyle wants to talk to you.” And he hands over his cell to Kyle who sits cross-legged and giggles into the phone.

“Hi Stevie.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and goes to change. He tries not to over think it. It’s probably a cold. But remembering the sound of the horrible cough makes him frown again. _Please don’t let it be the flu_ , he prays. Steve is one of those people who doesn’t seem to care about themselves as much as they care about the others.

After Bucky’s done with the bathroom and gets ready for bed, he comes into the room and finds Kyle on the huge bed, sitting on his knees and capturing pictures of his sketches in utter focus.

“Whatcha doing there?” He can’t help but smile.

“Sending my sketches to Stevie. He asked to see them.” Then he suddenly looks up, phone down. “Oh uncle Bucky…is it okay if I do that? I mean…it’s your phone and…”

“Of course buddy,” and he comes and lies on his side, propping himself up on one elbow. Kyle continues as he chooses some and leaves the others.

“My phone is _your_ phone. I’m all yours.” And he pinches the kid’s cheek.

Kyle frowns. “I can’t do that uncle Bucky.”

Bucky chuckles. “I’m offering. Anything mine is yours. My heart, my soul, my eyes, and my arms if you want. I mean…you can have my legs--Oomph!”

Kyle tackles him and sits on him. “You’re so silly uncle Bucky.”

Bucky huffs out a breath as his nephew settles there on his chest, looking down at him. “How am I silly?”

“I can’t take your…” and he’s thinking hard on how to phrase his words and Bucky waits, amused. “Your stuff?”

Bucky guffaws and lifts the kid off of him and settles him next to him. “It means that I love you so much.”

Kyle rolls his eyes. “Why didn’t you just say that? I love you too.”

Bucky grabs his phone. “Come on. Send the pictures because we gotta sleep.”

 

Kyle goes to sleep after sending them. Bucky goes to turn off the lights but doesn’t go to sleep easily. He realizes that he didn’t finish his conversation with Steve. He wanted to make sure that he’d take care of himself. He turns to the nightstand and grabs his phone. He almost calls but Kyle’s soft breathing stops him. Plus, Steve is probably already asleep, dead tired.

So he texts him:

_Drink plenty of fluids. Tea w/ drops of lemon is good 4 ur throat. Feel better._

 

He waits for few minutes but there is no reply. Steve has probably slept. Bucky rubs his face and spends the next hour reading, waiting for sleep to come.

 

***

 

Bucky would’ve liked to sleep in but the foot on his face demanded otherwise. He moves Kyle’s foot and rubs his face as he gets up. Kyle is upside down on the bed. Bucky pats his back and wakes him up so they can get to breakfast downstairs.

Nat calls him and tells him they’re already there. When Kyle’s in the bathroom, Bucky grabs his phone intending to call Steve to check on him but remembers that maybe a text is better. He doesn’t wanna wake him up.

 

_How r u feeling today? Better, I hope?_

 

After they go down for breakfast, he makes a beeline for their table. The Barton’s look fresh and already half way through their meal.

“What’s good here?” he asks as he puts his cell phone on the table and his keycard.

“Pancakes is so good uncle Bucky,” Nicole says as she stuffs her face with another piece.

“I want some too,” Kyle says as he pats Bucky’s hand.

“Sure, let’s go.”

“Coffee is magnificent for some reason,” Nat adds.

Bucky snickers and he gets two plates of pancakes as Kyle carries two glasses of orange juice. They walk back to their table and settle in.

Bucky checks his phone and there’s no reply from Steve. He puts it aside and starts his breakfast.

Clint and Nat fill him on their plans for the day and how they already got everything they needed for the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The kids squeal again and the adults laugh. Even though they knew it was in the plan, they still couldn’t believe it.

The waitress offers Bucky coffee and he accepts based on Nat’s recommendation, even though he doesn’t always like hotel coffee.

It doesn’t disappoint.

He checks his phone again after he’s done.

“No! No, Bucky. You said no work during this break.” Nat scolds him as she picks up her daughter. She always likes picking her up despite the kid’s protests.

He’s about to tell her it isn’t work and he’s merely just checking on Steve when he bites his tongue. The last thing he wants is another teasing from the two. So he nods and puts it away.

“You’re right. Sorry.”

 

***

 

He ends up calling Steve on their way to the Harry Potter's World, but there’s no answer. He tries not to panic. It’s probably on silent mode. Steve’s probably resting.

He puts it in his pocket and decides to go on and enjoy the day.

As soon as they get in, Bucky is in awe. Kyle won’t stop flailing dragging his uncle everywhere. Bucky read the books years ago and read them to his nephew last year. All seven of them in one year. The kid is in love and Bucky can’t help but take pictures and videos of the kid running around and commenting on every spot.

 

They stop at one of the small shops by the end of the day. Bucky seizes that opportunity and calls Steve, just one more time before he gets in the car with the others. It rings and rings as he surveys some of the wands and key chains, his eyes still going back to the kids, but he’s relieved when he sees Clint is with them. He motions to Clint that he’s gonna be on the phone.

When he picks up, Bucky lets out a breath. “What the hell Steve? I’ve been calling all day. You all right?”

“Uh…Steve’s asleep.” A voice on the other end of the line says.

Bucky freezes in his spot by the door of the store. His heart is pounding hard and all bad thoughts crowd his mind. When he’s still silent, the voice says, “This is Sam. Steve’s friend.”

“Um…hi Sam. This is Bucky Barnes. I’m Steve’s—“

A soft warm laugh reaches him. “Yeah, I know who you are man. It’s the reason I answered his cell. I turned it silent so he wouldn’t wake up. He’s been out since early morning.”

Bucky goes to sit on a bench. “Is he okay?”

“Oh yeah. I just had to drag his ass back home when I found him shoveling snow on your driveway at six o’clock in the morning.”

Bucky sighs. “What the hell? I didn’t ask him, and he was sick when I called him last night.”

“That’s Steve Rogers for you. He doesn’t really think when it comes to his well-being. He had already shoveled half the neighborhood driveways when I stopped by to check on him. Turned out he had a slight fever and I had to force him to take a warm bath, take medications and sleep. So, I’m sorry but it was me who turned his cell phone silent.”

Bucky runs his hand through his hair. “No, that’s…that’s okay. I was just worried. Wanted to check up on him.”

He feels Sam is smiling. “I noticed the few missed calls and then I decided to just answer it.”

“He’s gonna be fine though?”

“Oh yeah—“

“‘Cause I told him to go to the doctor. My doctor but he refused. I can still send you his number—“

“Bucky it’s fine. It’s just a bad case of cold. I just checked his fever and it broke down. He just needs rest that’s all.”

Bucky is relieved but he’d relax if he hears Steve’s voice. “Okay. Please kick his ass for me.”

Sam laughs and Bucky can’t help but smile. “Oh, I already did, but I’ll do it again for you.”

“Thanks. Um…would you just tell him that I called?”

“Of course man.”

“And not to bother with our driveway for God’s sake.”

“That too.” He clears his throat and then adds, “It’s nice to finally talk to you Bucky.”

“Same here. Take care.”

“You too.”

And he hangs up. He taps his chin with his phone and feels the urge to punch Steve and hug him at the same time. _At least I know he’s okay now_.

Thank God for Sam.

 

***

 

It isn’t until late that night that he gets a message from Steve. He’s lying down, watching the TV with no sound since Kyle is sleeping next to him. The kid has his arm around Bucky’s middle and is snoring lightly.

 

_So Sam likes you. How did that happen?_

 

Bucky smiles and types a response.

 

_Cos we both think ur an idiot!_

 

_Is that so?_

 

_Yup._

 

Then his cell phone rings and Bucky quickly slides to answer so Kyle won’t wake up. He ends up whispering, “Hey…”

“Oh, is this a bad time? Shit, it’s late…sorry…I’ll call--"

“No, no. It’s okay. I’m not asleep. Kyle is though.” Then he untangles himself from his nephew’s arm and moves to the chair by the desk at the other side of the room.

"So how are you feeling?" Bucky asks, running his hand through his hair.

"Much better. I still have this horrible cough but I'll live."

And Bucky hears some clanking sound. He must be making something for himself.

"If you hadn't been stupid to shovel while sick, non of this would’ve happened."

"Bucky. I wanted to help and do something. I've got nothing to do."

"You can start on the homework I gave you."

"Already done."

Bucky pauses. "Oh wow. How about the readings?"

"Not yet. One book down, one to go."

Bucky sighs. "Please do something else other than cleaning our driveway. We want you in one piece when we get back."

"God...seems like a long time from now."

It's silent and Bucky's heart clenches. He picks up the pen and scribbles nonsense on the notepad of the hotel. "It'll pass in a heartbeat."

Steve lets out a soft laugh. "That's very selfish of me to say. So tell me...what did Kyle do today?"

"Are you sitting down? ‘Cause it’s gonna be a long one."

“I’ve got all the time in the world.”

  
  
***

Christmas Eve is when the kids are really hyperactive. They can't wait for the morning and their energy is contagious and Bucky can't wait too.

They get ready for bed and that's when he gets a text from Steve.

_Show this to Kyle. It's my Christmas present to him._

Bucky quickly shows Kyle who’s lying on the bed, sketching. They both look and it’s a huge wrapped present. "Woah! What do you think it is uncle Bucky?"

"No idea buddy."

"Can I call him?"

Bucky looks at the time. "Sure."

It's seconds and Steve picks up. Kyle buries himself in the pillows, his sketchbook forgotten. "Hi Stevie. Yes! I saw it. Yeah...what is it? It looks big.... yeah...okay. I can't wait. Okay. Thank you so much."

Then he gives his cell back to him. Kyle purses his lips and then sighs. "I miss Stevie. Wish he was here."

Bucky ruffles his hair and hums. “Me too.”

 

Before he goes to sleep, Bucky makes sure that Pietro doesn’t forget their deal. He texts him and the kid replies immediately.

 

_Relax. I got this Bucky!_

Bucky goes to sleep after setting his alarm at five thirty in the morning. He wants to time it right.

 

He sleeps dreamlessly and when the alarm goes off, he wakes up and waits for Pietro’s text.

It comes right on time.

 

_Just dropped it and ran ;)_

 

He smiles and his heart is dancing.

 

_Thanks. I owe ya._

 

_Nonsense!_

 

He opens a new text for Steve.

 

_There’s a package for you outside. ;)_

_Merry Christmas from the 2 of us_

 

He gets up to take a shower since he can’t go back to sleep out of pure excitement and anticipation. He’s very positive that Steve will love Kyle’s present. They had the sketch he did of them framed in one of the picture frames he bought from Wanda’s store.

As he dries himself and puts on his jeans and a t-shirt, ready for their Christmas morning to start in the Magic Kingdom, doubts make their way to his mind. He pauses as he combs his hair. What if Steve doesn’t like his gift?

He had gotten him a leather bound sketchbook straight from Italy. He was able to contact his friend Angelo and have him buy a big one and engrave ‘property of Steve Rogers’ in Italian on the cover. He had him visit a favorite store of his over in Rome. After many pictures sent by Angelo, Bucky decides on one. It’s black and the insides of the covers are filled with most of Da Vinci’s popular artwork. He had transferred the money to his friend and asked to expedite the delivery. When he got it, he smiled so widely he felt his face might split. It was beautiful, and the leather smell was very refreshing. And reminded him of Italy.

Bucky knows it isn’t much but he really hopes it would make Steve's holiday a bit brighter. He knows that Steve probably has a dozen of sketchbooks already. He just hopes his is a bit more special.

“Merry Christmas!” and a small body jumps on him and he loses his balance and falls in a heap with Kyle sprawled on top of him, kissing his face.

 

***

 

The Magic Kingdom is, by its very definition, magical.

Bucky and the two kids can’t keep their jaws off the floor. They run around, making sure they don’t miss out anything. They meet Belle, and Aladdin and many more Disney characters. Bucky makes sure that Nat and Clint take photos of every moment. And he takes selfies too with his kid.

They also make sure that they get the fast passes for some of the spots. Nat stops someone to take a big family photo in front of the castle. They do two. One is sweet; the other is a silly one.

They realize that they need another day to at least explore the rest of the place. They settle in to go the following week and on New Year’s Eve.

At dinner, Clint and Nat give Bucky their Christmas gift. It’s a silver necklace with the letter K. He gets teary-eyed and wears it in that moment. He hugs them both very tightly.

In return, he tells them that he had booked them a relaxing spa treatment at a different resort. They can go anytime they want and he will babysit their kid.

Instead of hugging him, they kiss each other to the point that Bucky covers the kids’ eyes.

 

***

 

As soon as they return to their hotel room, Kyle flops on the bed, groaning.

Bucky claps twice. “No, no. Nope. Come on. You gotta wash up.”

“Urgh! Uncle Bucky please.” Then he spread his arms wide, trying to stretch as much as possible and hold on to the comforter.

Bucky laughs at the way he looks and before he can stop himself, he flops down next to him, face down, and pulls out his phone and takes a picture. He turns and huffs at the hair on his face to check if the picture is good.

It’s brilliant.

Bucky taps Kyle’s shoulder. “Come on buddy. You know what you gotta do. You can’t sleep like that.”

Kyle lets out a whine and then sits up. He then snaps his head. “Oh my God uncle Bucky! We forgot to call Stevie!”

Bucky is lying on his back. He smiles and pulls out his phone to check the time. It’s around ten.

“I already sent him a text on behalf of us this morning. But let’s check.”

And he sends him the picture of them he took seconds ago on the bed and captions it.

 

_When u go to Disney’s magic kingdom on Christmas…_

After few minutes, while Kyle braids Bucky's hair in one side, the reply comes.

 

_I’m sure it was worth every second…_

 

Bucky smiles, quickly calls back and waits and Kyle asks him to put it on speakers. He puts the phone between them and as soon as Steve says, “Hey,” the two scream, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

Steve’s laugh rings through the room and Bucky laughs along. Kyle takes over the conversation, leaning over as the phone is resting on the bed.

“Did you like my present Stevie?”

“Loved it. It’s the most beautiful present I ever got. Ever!”

Bucky quickly observes his nephew. Kyle is smiling widely and is actually blushing. “I’m so glad Stevie.”

“I loved it so much it’s already in my living room.”

Kyle gasps. “Really? Wow!”

“Yup. As soon as you come back home, I’ll show it to you.”

“Thanks a lot Stevie.”

“Is your uncle still there?” Steve asks reluctantly.

“Yup. He’s lying down and I’m braiding his hair.”

Steve lets out a chuckle. “You are? I gotta see that.”

Bucky speaks up, “Never Rogers!”

“Oh Stevie! I did hold uncle Bucky’s hand during the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Which was awesome by the way.”

Bucky raises his voice a bit. “We rode it twice Rogers! Thanks a lot.”

Kyle giggles and Steve sighs. “Well, it’s not my fault you scare easy Bucky.”

“Ooooh,” and Kyle covers his mouth. Bucky widens his eyes and pretends to be shocked and horrified which makes Kyle laughs more.

He loves the sparkle in the kid’s eyes and goes to humor both of them. “I’ll get you back Steve. Just wait and see.”

Kyle giggles and lies down and that’s when Bucky ushers him to go change. “Oh uncle Bucky…”

“Now. Come on.”

Bucky turns off the speakers and brings the phone to his ear as he watches his nephew drag his feet to the bathroom. “Don’t forget to brush your teeth and wear the new pajamas.”

Steve’s voice reaches him. “I can totally sympathize with him. You’re mean by the way.”

“Oh am I now?”

And they both laugh slightly before they fall silent. Bucky goes back to lying on his back horizontally, just staring at the ceiling.

“Thanks for the presents. You didn’t have to Bucky.”

Bucky breathes. “Yes, I did. We did. We’re friends Steve. You can’t get rid of us that easy.”

Steve just laughs slightly and Bucky adds, “Plus, I wanted mine to trump all of your other friends’ presents.”

He doesn’t know why he said that or where he got the courage to do so. He’s glad it didn’t turn out awkward and made Steve chuckle.

“It sure did…but seriously though. Did you actually get it from Italy or…I mean the inscription…”

“I have a friend over there. I remember this really quaint store that did memorabilia…so I got to choose a sketchbook…man you should’ve heard him curse in his loud Italian voice when he got frustrated every time I sent him ‘no’ after each picture of a sketchbook. Until we found the right one. I hope the paper is good?”

Steve is quiet on the other end and Bucky stills. He’s replaying what he said. _Did I say something wrong?_

He sits up. “Steve?”

“Uh yeah…I’m here. Yeah it’s good. I don’t think I’ll sketch in it right away. It’s too pretty.”

“Make me proud Steve Rogers and sketch away,” he says as he takes off his shoes. He sees Kyle come out and change into his new pajamas.

“I … I gotta tell you something Bucky...”

“Oh? Wait. Did you clean our driveway again? So help me God Steve--”

“No, no. I…when I got your message and saw the package outside, even before I opened them… I … let’s just say I’ve never been rendered speechless before that moment. In my entire life. What you did is the nicest thing anyone has ever done to me. Not even my closest friends.”

Bucky feels his ears ringing, and his face reddening. “Steve…”

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that…you have me. Friend for life. By your side for all things to come.”

Bucky’s heart clenches. As much as he's feeling like flying at the admission of Steve, he can’t help but feel the sting in that. He scolds himself. Steve is being genuine and honest and wonderful…he should really stop it with this crush. Why is he expecting more?

“Thank you,” he croaks.

Kyle just slides under the sheets, kisses Bucky’s hand and quickly falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

Bucky’s fingers play with a thread on his jeans. He decides to be honest too. Steve won’t know what’s in his heart but he says it nonetheless.

He breathes, “You have me too Steve.”

 

***

 

The following week, they go to the beach. They drive there and this time it’s Bucky who drives. When Clint calls shotgun, Nat shoves him aside and quickly slips next to Bucky.

“I still love you. You can’t change that,” he yells at her through the closed window.

She makes a face, sticks her tongue out at him and he--to Bucky’s horror--licks the window.

Bucky shouts, “Just get in already!”

“Yeah daddy. We wanna swim in the sun.”

“You’re funny uncle Clint,” Kyle says as he fastens his own seat belt.

 

The ride is refreshing and Bucky rolls the window down and enjoys the fresh air and sunny weather. Nat turns on the radio and disregards the men’s distaste for her music choice and only takes requests from the kids.

The beach is a bit crowded but they find a spot nonetheless and they all sit down. Nat lets her daughter spread sunscreen lotion on her back and Clint sits at her feet and messages them.

 

Few minutes later, Bucky helps the kids bury Clint in the sand up to his shoulders. They’re half way up to his waist when Bucky asks them to continue while he goes for a swim. He jumps in the water and comes out to the surface refreshed and feeling better than ever. He swims and swims and when he feels he’s far away, he goes back to shore.

He runs his hand through his wet hair, slicks it back and goes to stands over Clint.

“Maybe they should bury your head too,” he says, hands on hips as he breathes heavily.

“Ha ha, and here I though a shark ate you.”

“There are sharks here?” Nicole whispers, cowering and Kyle looks between the adults.

Clint’s eyes go wide. “No, no, no—“

“Way to go husband.” Nat gets up and steers the two away from Clint. “No, it’s safe around here. Just be close to the shore.”

Bucky adds, “Plus, you’re gonna have me kids.”

And then he swings Nicole over his shoulder as she screams in delight and Kyle runs before them. They swim for a while and Clint later joins them.

 

Then when the kids decide to splash around and build sand castles, the adults stand close by. They’re going through their plans for the next day when a guy interrupts them.

“Hey! How’s it going guys?”

Bucky and Clint stop talking and Bucky doesn’t say anything because he knows what the guy is after. He’s been noticing him watching him with the kids. Clint, on the other hand, is oblivious. As always.

“Great. You?” Clint innocently asks.

The guy doesn’t even register Clint and keeps his eyes zeroed in on Bucky. He points to the sea. “Wanna swim? See who goes deeper?”

Bucky quickly slings his arm around Clint’s neck. “Sorry. I’m busy talking to my husband. You kinda interrupted us.”

Clint’s bewildered face is priceless and almost cost Bucky to break character.

The guy puts his hands up in surrender. “Oookay.”

And he leaves them after he huffs. Clint looks between the two and then steps back from Bucky’s embrace.

“What the hell was that?”

Bucky shrugs. And Clint shakes his head at him.

“Wait…I’m your husband now? I mean I’m flattered but…that guy…” and he looks at the guy but can’t find him.

Bucky blows out a breath. “He’s been eyeing me for the past twenty minutes.”

“Really? Wow. I’m so dense.”

“You just realized that?” And Bucky chuckles as he observes the kids who are building two sand castles at the moment. He takes another picture of them with his cell phone.

“Wait…but if he was interested, why did you pretend you’re involved? He’s not your type?” and Clint looks back trying to find the guy.

Bucky crosses his arms over his chest. “Eh…not interested. Not in the mood really.”

And he glances back at Clint who looks at him differently and Bucky takes off his sunglasses. “What?"

Clint scratches his head. “You know I thought Nat was teasing but I guess she’s right.”

“What are you talking about?” And his eyes go back to the kids. _What did Nat tell him now?_ He thinks.

“You’re basically hung up on Steve Rogers.”

Bucky’s shoulders sag and he hangs his head. “Not this again.”

Clint actually comes and stands in front of him, jabbing his finger into his chest. “Oh my God! I told you! I told you to be careful. To not get too deep. Not to have feelings for the guy.”

And Bucky realizes for the first time that Clint is really upset. He’s never seen him like this. Very serious.

He pulls Clint’s jabbing finger away. “I don’t have feelings for him—“

“Cut the bullshit!”

Bucky steps back. “What the hell is your problem?” and Bucky tries not to raise his voice.

“I don’t have a problem pal. It’s you who has one.”

Bucky looks away and sighs. He’s not sure when the two are going to get off his back. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him something. Anything to let this go. “All right! I have a crush on the guy. You happy! Just a harmless crush.”

“A crush?” and Clint folds his arms.

“Yeah,” and Bucky avoids his eyes.

“And harmless to whom exactly? To you? I can tell you that it’s harmless to him ‘cause he’s not gonna suffer.“

Bucky looks down as buries his feet in the sand. “Don’t worry. It’ll go away.”

“When exactly is it gonna go away Barnes? Huh? When he introduces you to his girlfriend? Wants you to befriend her…”

Bucky runs his hand through his now dry hair. “Don’t you think I know that? I know that I’m an idiot all right.”

Clint lets out a sigh. “You’re not an idiot Bucky.”

“I know you think I'm being stupid about it."

"That's not what I meant..." and he goes to put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder but he jerks back and doesn’t let him touch him.

Bucky doesn’t even look his way. He clears his throat. "I need some space. Watch Kyle for me."

"Bucky..."

He ignores Clint and walks to the opposite of their spot. He walks and walks until the crowd thins. He chooses a secluded spot and sits there, people watching.

He still feels that little ache in his chest. Deep down he knows that Clint is being a friend. Being protective. But Clint still doesn’t know. They all don’t understand. It’s a crush for God’s sake. It won’t hurt anyone. At all. _Why would it?_

He pulls out his cell phone and goes through their photos. He stops at the one Steve had sent of himself squished between Maria and Coulson on Christmas day. Apparently taken by Sam. They had visited him and showered him with presents. Coulson alone brought three. He zooms in on Steve and just stares. He smiles and finds himself really stupid but he can't help himself.

Without thinking, he clicks on Steve’s number and waits as he listens to the swoosh of the waves hitting the shore. And it rings twice before Steve’s joyful "hey!" reaches him.

Bucky smiles. "Hey yourself."

"So where are you guys today?

Bucky lets out a heavy sigh. "The beach."

"Urgh! You're killing me Barnes," Steve groans and then chuckles.

And when Bucky doesn't say anything back, the sound of clanking on Steve's end stops. "Bucky?"

"Hmm?" Bucky mutters, closing his eyes. He just doesn’t feel like talking. He wants to listen to Steve. There’s no harm in that.

"What's wrong?" Worry fills Steve’s voice.

Bucky clears his throat. "Nothing. Why would you think that?"

"You don't sound like yourself."

Bucky lets his hand play with he sand and watches as it seeps through his fingers. Steve adds with a perk in his voice—probably trying to lighten up the mood-- "Do I have to punch someone? Kick? Threaten? You name it."

Bucky snickers and decides to humor him. “You’re gonna come all the way from DC to Florida for that?”

“In a heartbeat,” Steve says without hesitance.

And that was Bucky’s mistake. He wishes he didn’t ask. He shouldn’t let this crush overcome him. He can’t have feelings. _Just, no!_ He thinks. He tries to regulate his breathing and in doing so, he shakes and lets out a shuddering breath. “I…I gotta go…”

“Hey, hey…Bucky wait,” Steve says quickly.

“Yeah?”

“Come on,” Steve prompts softly. “What’s wrong? You can tell me…”

Bucky rubs his forehead and opens his mouth several times before settling for an answer. He can’t tell him why he’s upset. The argument with Clint is basically about Steve.

But he still tells a version of the truth. Something he realizes at the moment.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just…homesick.”

There’s a beat of silence and then Steve inhales deeply. “Well, let me tell you about what you missed then back home. Spoiler alert…nothing much."

Bucky laughs slightly. “Tell me.”

“First of all, Sam did it. He proposed and she said yes.”

Bucky straightens his posture. “He did! Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“Element of surprise my friend."

Bucky frowns. "What does that even mean?"

He feels Steve shrugging. "Also, I found out that we have really nice neighbors.”

“We do, punk.” He shakes his head even though he knows Steve can’t see him.

“See…I thought it was only you. My bad.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Bucky lies down and then closes his eyes as he lets the sun warm him up, and Steve’s voice surround him. “That’s all you got?”

“No. Let me narrate to you my friend how I’d been dealing with the snow so far…”

Bucky smiles and enjoys the rest of the conversation and let it wash over him. It’s only him, the sun and Steve.

 

***

 

He walks back and Kyle runs his way and clings to him when Bucky swings him into his arms. "Hey buddy."

"Where were you uncle Bucky?"

Kyle sounds worried and Bucky stops and rubs his back. "Hey, it's okay."

"I missed you. And you didn't see my sand castle."

Bucky kisses him. "I'm so sorry. I just needed to walk a bit. See how big the beach is."

He feels so bad he doesn't know what to say. Kyle squeezes Bucky's cheeks. Then runs his hand over Bucky’s furrowed brows. "You're silly. It's too big obviously."

Bucky kisses his small nose. "Why don't you show me that castle?"

"Okay but you gotta put me down ‘cause I need to run and you're very slow. You know…‘cause you’re old."

And he giggles at Bucky's horrified look. "That's it. You called for it."

"Noooo!"

And Bucky pins him down and tickles him endlessly until Clint shows up.

Bucky let's him go and he runs. "Come on before it falls down."

"Be right there."

He claps his hands together to clean them from the sand as Clint stands before him.

"Listen Bucky--"

"It's okay Clint," he says without looking his way.

"No, wait. I gotta apologize. I went overboard."

"You're just being a friend and I appreciate it."

"It was uncalled for. Plus, it's already Nat's job to be annoyingly nosy." He winks and Bucky snickers.

Clint hugs him and then holds his neck. "It's just I love you and I worry sometimes. You're the most wonderful person out there. It'd be a crime to see you get hurt."

Bucky doesn't trust himself to talk but hugs him back and then pats his back. "Thanks but don't worry about me. I'm thirty one years old for God's sake."

"Yeah well...I may not share the same history with you like Nat or Monty or Dernier. But you're my best guy. I'll always be here for you. And I promise not to bring it up again."

Bucky nods and hugs him again. They walk together toward the kids and he joins them sitting down as they explain to him who lives in the castle.  


***

 

It’s New Year’s Eve and they’re in the Magic Kingdom, surrounded by people and pretty much magical characters. Bucky is carrying Kyle on his shoulders. He’s sitting there waiting for the fireworks and the countdown.

Next to him stands Clint with his daughter sitting on his shoulders too, and his arm wrapped around Nat. Even though it’s crowded and people are everywhere, yet Bucky thinks it’s the best New Year’s Eve he’s ever experienced.

Kyle plays with his hair and Nicole is eating candy when it gets near midnight.

“This is it kids!” Clint shouts.

Nicole squeals and Nat laughs at her. Bucky holds Kyle’s hands and spreads them wide when they all start counting.

 

10, 9, 8...

 

“I love you all. Unconditionally.” Nat shouts their way.

 

7, 6, 5...

 

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be…plus, there should’ve been pizza here. Nat!”

Nat ignores him and ruffles his hair instead. “Ow!”

And Bucky for a second thinks that maybe he can just pull out his cell phone. He thought about last night and how Steve had told him he’d spend New Year's Eve watching the ball drop on TV.

His heart is beating madly as he quickly makes a decision and pulls his cell phone out and dials. He looks up at Kyle.

“I’m calling Steve.”

“Oh yeah. Do that uncle Bucky! Yes!”

He puts it to his ear to check if he’d answered or not. And when he hears his soft “Hi,” Bucky puts it on speakers and raises his cell phone, giving it to Kyle who raises it so high. People are counting so loudly that Bucky is laughing, overjoyed.

 

3, 2, 1.

 

“Happy New Year!”

Kyle brings the cell phone closer to him. “Happy New Year Stevie!”

And Bucky looks up at Kyle’s face and sees the joy all over his face. It’s the happiest he’s seen him and Bucky realizes that he did good by going on this vacation.

Kyle hands over the phone, holds Bucky’s head and kisses it. Bucky laughs and brings the kid’s hand and kisses it before speaking to Steve.

“Hey! Happy New Year Steve!”

Steve’s laugh is a gift. “Happy New Year to you too.”

The fireworks are thunderous, and it's so beautiful he forgets to talk to the guy on the phone. Then Steve's laughter draws his attention.

"Go! Go celebrate," Steve shouts laughingly into the phone.

"All right! See you soon."

"And Bucky?"

"Yeah?" He asks breathlessly.

"Thank you."

Bucky's heart is soaring. "You're welcome."

And before he hangs up, the both of them laugh when they hear Kyle scream at the top of his lungs.

"This is the BEST day ever and ever!"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add two more chapters. It's a possibility.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Sam Wilson.

 

 

The airport is buzzing and the throngs of people are moving so fast Bucky has to grip Kyle's hand tightly as they make their way to the baggage claim.

The Bartons had decided to stay there for two more days. Bucky couldn’t spare any more days. He’s got his work and Kyle’s got his school.

The two of them are excited that Steve is picking them up from the airport. Bucky more internally. His nephew is skipping away next to him. Steve had texted him after New Year’s Eve that he’d pick them up and rejected all of Bucky’s protests.

_I’m picking u up and that’s FINAL!_

And Bucky sent him their flight information and how they'll land probably around the afternoon and thanked him in advance.

 

Bucky sighs in relief as he finds that their suitcase is one of the first to appear on the carousel. He hauls it up, gets the handle and drags it with one hand while the other is holding Kyle’s.

"Where’s Stevie?"

Bucky avoids bumping into a group of businessmen running past them. "He's somewhere. We'll find out. He-"

"There he is uncle Bucky! I see him, I see him!"

And Bucky's heart thunders in his chest as he looks around ahead of him but can't find Steve. He staggers a bit when Kyle tugs at his hand. "Please uncle Bucky let me go."

"Kyle-"

The kid waves madly and yells "Stevie!" And that’s when Bucky's eyes find him.

His heart stops for mere seconds. There, standing in a crowd of people, is Steve, hands in pockets and smiling broadly when Bucky's eyes land on him.

Bucky watches as Steve seems to be letting out a breathless laugh upon seeing them and waving wildly. He let's go of Kyle who runs with his backpack, dodging people left and right and Bucky is trying to keep him in his line of sight. The kid runs and Bucky slows down a bit as Steve runs toward the kid, dodging elbows, shoulders and suitcases.

"Stevie!"

And Bucky stops when he sees Kyle fling himself onto Steve who picks him up in the air and hugs him, spinning around and laughing heartily. It jars him a bit, the scene before him. It hits him how strong the bond they had both formed with Steve Rogers. He takes two deep breaths and walks toward them.

When he reaches them, Steve puts Kyle down, ruffling his hair as he turns fully toward Bucky. 

Bucky looks closely at him. He hasn’t changed much. His hair got longer on top, making some strands fall on his forehead. His face is so welcoming that Bucky breathes, "Hey."

Steve shakes his head, eyes darting all over Bucky’s face. He huffs a laugh. "Come 'ere."

And Steve envelops him in his warm embrace. Bucky lets go of the bag handle and wraps his arms around him, hugging tightly. He feels Steve buries his head in his hair, his nose in the nape of his neck.

Bucky just breathes it all in. 

“Welcome home Bucky.”

Bucky tries not to get emotional. "Good to see you."

"God...it's so good to see you," mutters Steve before he steps away, holding Bucky's gaze for a few seconds before chuckling and clapping his hands together.

"Okay before we head out there's something I gotta say," and he turns to Kyle "It's gonna be in Italian buddy."

Bucky furrows his brows but a smile is still there.

Steve steps back. "I gotta say it before I forget how to pronounce it." And he looks at his hand, and Bucky melts.  _He had it written there, the dork_ , Bucky thinks.

"That's cheating Stevie."

Steve laughs and Kyle stands next to Bucky.

" _Tu e Kyle mi siete mancati tanto_."

Bucky laughs and claps three times. "Wow Steve. Spot on. I'm so proud."

Steve raises one brow, smirking. "I had a great teacher."

“We missed you too,” Bucky adds, smiling.

"Okay, can you guys tell me what that meant?"

Steve crouches and holds Kyle’s hands in his. "I said ‘I missed you and Kyle so much.’"

He giggles. "I missed you too Stevie."

Steve lets go of his hands after he glances at Bucky. "Wanna a piggyback ride Kyle?"

"Yes!" Kyle says but looks at Bucky who nods in approval.

"Up we go." Steve effortlessly carries him. And Bucky can’t help himself. 

"Wait. Can I take a picture?" he asks as he pulls out his phone. He’s trying really hard not to blush but thankfully Steve doesn’t act weird about it.

"Yeah, sure."

Kyle talks into Steve's ear but loud enough for Bucky. "Let's do a silly one."

"Whatever you want."

"Ready?"

He takes the picture and they all laugh as they leave out to the parking lot.

 

***

 

The drive is spent with Kyle narrate every encounter he had in the Disney theme parks. Every character he met and every ride he got on. And Bucky just lies back, eyes closed, as he listens to the eagerness of his nephew and the enthusiasm of Steve.

"So your uncle was scared the whole time?" Steve asks, letting out a fake cough.

And Bucky turns to look at Steve, scowling. Steve is trying not to laugh and utterly failing.

"Oh, Stevie. He was sweating so much!""

Bucky turns around to look at Kyle. "What's gotten into you? I was _not_ sweating."

Kyle giggles and Steve looks at Kyle through the rear-view mirror. "He's on my side now. Team Stevie." Then he turns to glance at Bucky, raising a brow. "Don't worry Bucky. Your secret is safe with me."

"Nice Steve. Nice."

When they're at a traffic light, they hear a click of a seat belt and Kyle swiftly appearing between them, kissing Bucky's cheek. "I'm team uncle Bucky forever and ever."

Bucky chuckles and asks him to go back to his seat. His eyes meet Steve's and the latter is looking at him tenderly. 

Bucky shrugs and tries not to blush. "He's big on grand gestures."

Steve looks back at the kid. "Don't worry Kyle. I'm secretly team Bucky"

"Yes!"

Bucky turns to the window and wills his face to not turn red.

 

***

 

Steve stops the car in his own driveway.

"Why are we stopping here?" Bucky asks, puzzled.

Steve unfastens his seat belt. "Well, I'm inviting you over for lunch. Late lunch I guess."

"But...wait--"

Then Steve puts his hand on his, squeezing it lightly. "Please Bucky. I've been waiting to have you guys back to do this."

Bucky opens his mouth twice but then relents. When he nods, Steve lets his hand go and Bucky misses the warmth immediately.

"Come on. Come on Kyle. So I can give you your present."

"Yay!"

And the kid hops out and Bucky gets out. It's still cold out so he closes his jacket and goes to check on Kyle but Steve has already carried him on his back.

Steve leads the way and Bucky just leaves all his stuff in the car. Kyle, on the other hand, has his backpack with him.

As soon as he unlocks the door, Bucky is reminded of the last time he was in his house. He really doesn’t want to remember how he stormed out of there.

Steve makes way for him, Kyle still on his back. “Come on in.”

Bucky looks around. There’s a new TV set. Several frames hung on the wall. Peggy’s photograph is still there but got lost among the new frames. They’re photos of the neighborhood and some of New York and Kyle's sketch is up there too. A dinning table is set in the far away corner. But one thing stops Bucky where he is.

He eyes the kitchen. “Did you cook?”

Steve lowers Kyle who quickly goes to look at his framed sketch and then sit on the sofa, opening his backpack. Steve puts the keys on the small table near the entrance; takes off his jacket, motioning for Bucky to give him his.

“Well, I swear I was gonna clean up but time wasn’t on my side.”

As he comes back from putting the jackets away in the closet, Bucky notices his cheeks flush. Bucky can’t help but smirk at him.

“I’ll ask you again, did you cook?”

“Ah Bucky. Don’t sound too surprised.” And he rolls his eyes as he goes to the kitchen.

Bucky follows him. “I don’t believe it because the house is still standing.”

Steve rolls his sleeves up as he turns the stove on, checking on the pot. Apparently he had cooked half the lunch. Whatever that is.

“While you guys were away, I decided to take cooking lessons.”

Then he pulls out a salad bowl and Bucky is leaning on the counter, not really knowing what to say or do.

“I mean… So you cooked lunch?”

Steve laughs out loud and goes to steer Bucky away from the kitchen. “Please leave my kitchen.”

And he leads Bucky to sit on one of the chairs at the dinning table, which is already set. Steve calls out to Kyle to join his uncle.

Bucky smiles to himself. Steve had invited them and made them lunch. The fact that he’s eager to let them taste his cooking warms his heart.

He just hopes it tastes good for his sake.

“So what’re we having Stevie?” Kyle asks, raising his voice a bit to reach Steve as he sits on his chair in front of Bucky.

“It’s a surprise but since it’s cooking, let’s go see your Christmas present.”

“Yes!”

“Come on.” And he takes Kyle’s hand and Bucky follows them. He’s never been inside the other rooms, so it’s interesting to see the place.

Steve takes them to a room near the back. Bucky tries to avert his eyes and not stare at the surroundings. Steve opens the room and Kyle lets out a loud gasp, Bucky just freezes.

It’s an art room, full of canvases and paint splattered all around. Sketches filled the walls. Steve smiles and prods Kyle to come inside. Steve lets go of his hand as he goes behind a wooden table to pull out two wrapped objects.

Bucky immediately puts it together. He figures out what he’s gotten him, and he can’t help but get excited for his nephew.

“Here you go Kyle. Merry Christmas.”

Kyle just stands there, mouth open and looking between Bucky and Steve. Bucky takes pity on him and comes to stand next to him.

He touches his small shoulders. “What do you say?”

“Merry Christmas and thank you Stevie.”

Steve just ruffles his hair and steps back as he makes way for him to unwrap his present.

“What’d ya say you go and open it?”

“Um…okay.”

He opens the big looking board and finds a blank canvas. “What’s this?”

Steve hands him the second one. “Open this too. It goes together.”

He does and then stands there confused a bit. Bucky smiles and nods toward Steve who picks up the canvas and puts it on the easel.

Kyle gasps loudly again and looks frantically between the adults.

“Oh my God! Uncle Bucky look.”

Then he touches it and then lets out a breathy laugh. “I can paint now? Like a real artist?”

“Yes.”

“But I don’t know how?”

“I’ll teach ya.”

“You will?” and Steve nods.

Kyle hugs his waist and then goes and hugs the canvas. “I promise I’ll make you proud big board.”

Bucky and Steve cackle and then Bucky guides Kyle back to him. “It’s called canvas buddy.”

Kyle rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically. “Big words again uncle Bucky.”

He pinches his cheek. “It’s what it’s called.”

“You’re literally the best kid there is Kyle,” Steve says as he ruffles his hair again.

“No, ‘cause you know what’s best?”

The adults shake their heads.

Kyle spreads his arms wide. “Today is the BEST day ever and ever!”

“God I missed hearing this,” Steve says softly then averts his eyes when Bucky looks at him.

“Well, the food must be done by now. Let’s go guys.”

 

***

 

“God I feel so full,” Bucky says as he sits back. “What in God’s name happened to you when we were gone?”

Steve had cooked them spaghetti and meatballs. It’s so delicious Bucky and Kyle has finished their plates quickly.

Steve gets up, laughing and putting the empty plates on top of each other. Kyle has already retreated to the art room to stare and observe.

“I told you, I took cooking lessons.”

“Where?

"Sam’s mom was generous enough to let me in her kitchen and give me one of her secret recipes."

"Wow."

"Of course she was so patient. I messed up her place so many times."

And he goes with Bucky tagging along carrying the empty bowl of salad.

"Bucky no! You're my guest today."

"Just shut up."

And Steve relents and then puts the plates in the sink. Bucky stands aside. “What brought this on?”

Steve takes the bowl from him. “What do you mean?”

Bucky waves his hand around. “Cooking.”

Steve gives him his back but he notices that his ears are reddening. Bucky wishes he didn’t ask. He’s clearly embarrassing him.

Steve shrugs. “I though maybe it’s time I get to learn. Plus, I was bored.”

Bucky keeps quiet and then moves out of the way when Steve pulls out a bowl of dough.

"What's this?" Bucky’s eyes go wide, impressed and surprised at the same time.

"I'm making cookies for Kyle and you… if you want."

Bucky’s heart melts as he watches the big guy moving around, trying his best. He can’t help but says softly, "You didn't have to."

Steve puts his hand up. "Stop, okay. How many times have you fed me huh?"

Bucky shakes his head. "That's different."

Steve gets out a pre-greased baking sheet and starts dropping spoonful of cookie dough.

And then he puts them in the oven and washes his hands. He sets the timer for 12 minutes and then goes to clean up, Bucky on his heel.

"Then I'm gonna wash the dishes. Like you did with me,” Bucky says as he starts rolling up his sleeves.

"Not a chance! You're jet lagged --"

"I'm not! It's a two-hour flight."

Steve’s eyes go soft. "Just let me have this. Just this day."

Bucky is mesmerized by that look and he sighs. "Fine."

He puts everything away but doesn't clean up.

"Are you slacking?"

"No, but it's time for your Christmas present."

Bucky certainly didn’t see that coming. "Oh...Steve you didn't--"

Steve rolls his eyes. "Says the man who got my present delivered while being in another state."

Steve beckons him to follow. Bucky thinks they're heading to the art room but Steve heads to the last room at the end of the hall.

Bucky’s breath catches as he enters Steve’s bedroom. _Why on earth am I here?_ He thinks.

“Sorry but I was working on it while sick. Couldn’t walk to the art room. Plus, I discovered lately that the lighting here is superb.”

He stands in the middle of the room and Bucky tries not to look at the bed. He notices that Steve is looking nervous too as he moves from around the bed and brings out a big board that was leaning against the wall. Bucky thinks it’s a board covered in a sheet until he puts it up on the windowsill.

“Mind you, I just finished it. So I couldn’t wrap it. So sorry.”

Bucky gulps as he guess what he’s about to see.

Steve pulls the sheet away and reveals a painting. And it’s splatter painting of …him and Kyle.

He holds his breath as he sees it done in all mixed colors. It’s of Bucky’s head leaning over Kyle, his chin on the kid’s shoulder as they’re looking down. Both of them smiling.

Bucky can’t comprehend what he’s looking at. He shakes his head in awe and steps closer to it.

“How…I mean…” and he goes to touch it but stops. Then he looks at a fidgeting Steve.

“I couldn’t think of a good present so I thought I’d give you a painting. I mean…I thought you could hang it in your home office…”

Bucky just stares at him and then Steve blushes. “You don’t like it. I get it…too much, right? I knew—“

“Shut up.”

And Bucky throws his arms around him and hugs him tight. Steve apparently doesn’t see it coming and he staggers back a bit and lets out a breathy laugh.

Bucky finds himself near tears because it’s the most beautiful painting he’s ever seen. It’s of him and his kid. And the capturing is magical.

He doesn’t let go and asks softly, “How did you…I mean the pose…”

Steve’s hand rubs his back. “I’ve got a photographic memory, remember? I just remembered your expressions together…I mean there wasn’t a specific moment but…you know what I mean. Plus, you don’t see the way you look when he’s around.”

Bucky chuckles and finds his fingers bunching up Steve’s shirt, holding tightly. “Thank you. You don’t even know how amazing this is.”

“So, I trumped all your friends’ presents?” Steve whispers closer to his ear.

Bucky suppresses a shiver and opens his eyes to see the bed in front of him. He realizes where he is and what he’s doing. His heart starts thudding and steps back a bit, fearing that Steve will feel it against his chest. Steve’s arms fall slowly from around him. Their faces pass each other so close and Bucky doesn’t step all the way back simply because of Steve’s blue eyes.

“Verdict?”

“Huh?” Bucky asks, lost in those baby blues.

Steve smiles and glances at the painting. “Did my present trump the others?”

Bucky laughs. “You’re a punk. And yes, it did.”

“To be honest, I wish I could’ve gotten you a better one. You deserve all the best Bucky.”

Then he watches as Steve’s hand comes up very slowly and touches his hair. Bucky feels his throat is dry and for some reason he feels like they’re closer than they should be. _Did I move closer? Did he?_

He pulls something out and is looking nervous. He shakes his head and snaps his hand back. “It’s just lint…uh…”

Bucky’s eyes are roaming his face.

“Stevie!”

Both of them step away from each other as they hear Kyle running down the hall. When he appears, he looks confused. “There’s a ringing in the kitchen. I think it’s the oven.”

Steve moves swiftly. “It’s the cookies buddy. Thanks for letting me know.”

Then he glances back at Bucky for a second before leaving. Kyle is about to follow him but stops as he catches sight of the painting.

His jaw drops and Bucky laughs.

 

***

 

“These are the BEST cookies ever and ever!”

Bucky shakes his head at him as he relaxes in the sofa, and Steve hands him a fresh cup of coffee.

“You sure Kyle? What if you change your mind later?” Steve asks.

Kyle, with a full mouth, shakes his head. “Never.”

“Come on. We gotta get going,”

“No, Bucky. Come on you just got here,” Steve protests and Kyle whines.

“We gotta go change. Clean up the house, get some groceries.”

Steve claps him on the shoulder as he gets up. “Okay. Why don’t you go ahead. I’ll bring your presents with me.”

“Okay, let’s go Kyle.”

Bucky picks up his car keys and waves at Steve as he and his nephew drive the short distance to their house.

When he parks it, Bucky gets out, slings his messenger bag across his chest and goes to open the door to his house. Then he comes back out to get their suitcase. Once they get in, Bucky turns up the thermostat and feels the house come to life. He asks Kyle to go put the suitcase in Bucky’s room and unpacks to get his stuff.

Bucky starts cleaning up. The place is a bit dusty. The house gets warmer by the minute and is no longer dry cold. Then he goes to check the bathroom shower and draws a bath for Kyle. He asks the kid to take a bath and then wear the new pajamas he got him.

Ten minutes and Steve’s voice rings in the living room. “Can I come in?”

Bucky snickers while he cleans out the fridge, his back to the door. “You don’t even have to ask. Come on in.”

When he turns, he sees Steve juggling two large brown bags and he deposits them on the counter.

“What the hell is this?” Bucky asks bewildered.

“Groceries.”

Bucky blinks twice and Steve fidgets. “I uh…bought them this morning for you guys. I knew you’d come jet lagged—“

“It’s a two-hour flight Steve!”

“You have a kid.”

“That’s … I can’t let you do that,” Bucky says softly as he gets up.

“It’s already done Bucky. Just stack up the fridge and I’ll go bring the presents. Gotta set up Kyle’s easel.”

He leaves quickly and Bucky figures him out by now. “Don’t think you can run away from this Rogers! We’re not done!”

“Can’t hear ya.” And he closes the door after him.

Bucky smiles. He starts putting stuff inside the fridge and he sighs as he sees that Steve went overboard buying everything from milk to frozen Bagel Bites. What gets him to stop is the kid’s juice. He purses his lips and inhales deeply as he feels his heart clenches at Steve’s consideration.

_I'm not going to cry, damn it!_

Kyle comes out wearing his pajamas. “I feel sleepy uncle Bucky.”

“Well, wanna take a nap or go to sleep already?” Bucky glances at the clock. It’s already 6:30.

“A nap, plus, I’m not going to school tomorrow right? ‘Cause of jet lagging?”

Bucky laughs as he beckons him to come closer. He kisses his cheek and pats his back. “You borrowed that from Steve?”

“Please uncle Bucky. Let me go to school after tomorrow.”

“Actually you’re off the hook ‘cause I told your school way before the trip that you’d be there in two days.”

He jumps on Bucky and almost falls on the floor. “Easy, easy. Okay, go take a nap in the living room.”

He kisses his uncle and leaves. Seconds later and Bucky hears the low sound of the TV.

After cleaning up the kitchen, stacking up the fridge, Bucky goes to take a shower himself. After enjoying the warm water, he wears his sweatpants and a t-shirt. A small towel hangs around his neck as he walks out to check on Kyle.

He finds him asleep with a jacket covering his lower body. Steve's jacket. He turns and sees Steve in the dinning room setting up the easel in the corner.

“Hey,” Bucky whispers.

Steve turns back a bit to whisper “Hey” and goes back to moving the easel a bit in the corner. He puts the canvas on it.

“What do ya think? I thought it’d be good here,” he says, hands on hips.

Bucky runs his hand through his wet hair. “Yeah, it’s fine. I gotta move the table a bit.”

“Okay.” And Steve goes to do it but Bucky stops him.

“Don’t. I’ll do that tomorrow. Come on. I’ll make coffee.”

“All right. Your painting is here.” And he points at the covered canvas put against the wall. “Figured you’d wanna hang it tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Come on. There’s time for that.”

He goes and measures coffee for them. After that, he turns the coffeemaker on. He goes and carries Kyle to his room which is warm already. He figures his nephew is deep asleep to be awoken from his ‘nap’. After he settles him in, he puts his towel back in his room and heads to the kitchen. Steve is there, sitting on one of the stools. He’s looking at his phone.

It’s quiet and he feels so warm at the presence of Steve. Back into their lives. Bucky pours coffee in two cups. He goes and sits next to Steve.

“Thanks,” Steve says and hums as he takes his first sip.

Bucky drinks a bit and then pulls out his phone. “Thanks for everything Steve.”

“Back to thanking me again? Bucky, I thought we already—“

“Still…buying groceries…you shouldn’t have,” and he nudges him with his shoulder and Steve pushes back lightly with his.

“We’re friends and neighbors. Plus, I wanted to.” Steve plays with the mug. “I think I was just too excited for you guys to come back. I swear the neighborhood was dull without you two.”

Bucky smiles, rests his elbows on the table and turns to him. “Don’t exaggerate.”

Steve shakes his head. “Nah. I’m just telling the truth.” And then he taps Bucky’s mug. “The city is much brighter now.”

Bucky looks away and stares at his coffee. Then he remembers his phone and wanting to change the subject. “Let me show you the video I shot of Nat and Clint racing in the pool.”

Steve chuckles. “Oh God…This I gotta see.”

They spend the rest of the night watching videos and photos and swapping stories of everything that had happened in the last two weeks.

 

***

 

By the end of the month, Bucky is giving Steve his first language test. He’s been on the fence about it but decides that it may be best. Just to test his memory.

Steve, of course, objects.

“Why can’t I just practice? Why the test though?”

Bucky sighs as he hands him the exam. It’s three pages long. “For God’s sake Steve, it’s a multiple choice test… most of it anyway. Plus, there’s a listening part where I’d read for you, which isn't right by the way. The next exam, I’ll let you listen to a native speaker.”

“Next time?”

Bucky rolls his eyes and hands him a pencil. “Get to it Rogers. I’m beginning to think you hated school?”

Steve sits straight and puts the exam paper on the table, already trying to read the first question. “Well, I wasn’t a nerd like you Barnes.”

“Punk!”

“Jerk!”

Bucky goes to sit at his desk, logging in to get some work done. “You don’t mind me typing, do you?”

Steve’s eyes widen. “You wanna leave me alone with an exam paper?” He’s scowling so hard and Bucky can’t help but laugh out loud.

“Gosh…okay you big baby. Don’t worry, the listening part is the last question. Go ahead.”

“There’s no specific time to finish this is there?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “For God’s sake Steve, no. Take your time.”

“Wait, I don’t understand the first question.”

Bucky sighs. “Understanding the question is part of the answer and part of the test Steve.”

“Don’t be a jerk and just tell me.”

Bucky goes over the questions and then gets back to his chair. He’s translating a paragraph of a new document from English to French when he doesn’t feel right about his translation. He needs to double check.

He checks on Steve by leaning over from behind the screen and sees that he’s on the second page. _Good_ , he thinks.

“Hey, do you mind if I make a phone call?”

“Nope,” Steve says as he bites his pencil, his finger pointing at some words as he reads.

Bucky smiles and then calls Dernier.

His friend picks up and Bucky tries to keep it short. He reads the target text, which is in French. It’s what he does sometimes. He’s gotta check with native speakers. He’s that meticulous.

When he’s done, he sees Steve staring at him. “What?”

Steve opens his mouth twice then chuckles as pink tints his cheeks. That’s when Bucky smiles. He loves that look. “What? Come on, tell me.”

Steve shakes his head as he taps his knee with his pencil. “Nothing. I’m amazed how quickly and smoothly you switched tongue. That’s a gift.”

Bucky feels embarrassed all of a sudden. “It’s not Steve. I just studied and memorized and basically spent years to be this good. It wasn’t easy.”

“Thanks. Now I feel no pressure whatsoever.”

“No, no. That’s not what I meant. I—“

“I’m pulling your leg Bucky. Relax.” And he chuckles.

Bucky sits back as he scrolls down the document. And he says absently, “Don’t worry. I’m sure your tongue is gonna be amazing.”

And then as soon as he says it, it gets quiet. Tense quiet. He replays what he said few seconds ago in his head. He stills and his hand freezes over the mouse. Unfortunately for him, he’s not hiding behind the screen, so his eyes widen as he looks at Steve. His friend is staring at him, a brow raised. He feels his face get hot, and his ears ringing.

He shakes his head. “That’s not…that came out wrong—that’s not what I …God, I’m sorry—“

And Steve guffaws and drops his pencil on the table. “Relax Bucky,” and then he wipes his eyes. “That was such a good line.”

Bucky balls up a paper and throws it his way. It hits Steve on the forehead and Bucky burst out laughing when he sees the horrified look on Steve. “I’m taking an exam. I’m traumatized already and you hit me?”

“Shut up.”

And Bucky goes back to his screen, his heart still beating madly. _God, that was stupid of me._

“Uncle Bucky?”

And both of them look up to see Kyle, clothes full of paint. Bucky whines. “Kyle, I told you to be careful. I’m buying you an art smock next time.”

Steve beckons Kyle over to him, and he sits next to him. “Artists don’t wear smocks Bucky.”

“Yeah uncle Bucky.” Then he says lowly. “I want one though.”

Steve chuckles and Kyle asks them both to come see his creation.

 

***

 

Kyle is in school when Bucky gets a message text from Nat.

 

_SOS_

 

_Where r u?_

 

_I’m coming over. I need vodka._

 

_I have wine._

 

_Oh James. Why?_

 

He quickly finishes translating the paragraph he's working on and goes to bake a pie. He knows that when she texts him this way, it’s a woman problem. And not any woman. It’s a Nat problem.

When he puts the pie in the oven, the doorbell rings and he opens the door only to be brushed by her as she quickly heads to his kitchen in her high red heels.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking Nat.”

He goes to find her gulping the wine from the bottle.

He’s horrified. “Hey!” and takes the bottle from her. He gets a glass for her and pours her a little.

“Urgh Bucky! I don’t know what to do!” And she slumps on the counter, laying her head on her stretched arm.

“What’s wrong? Did you have a bad case? Please don’t say you’re working with the mob—“

“Don’t be ridiculous. Then again working with them is far easier that this!”

“Define ‘this’?” He asks as he checks on the pie and it still isn’t cooked enough. He goes and pours himself some coffee. He doesn’t feel like drinking wine. It’s early in the morning.

Bucky goes to sit in front of her and pats her hand. “Talk to me.”

Without raising her head, she mumbles. “I don’t know what to get Clint for Valentine’s.”

Bucky almost chokes. “That’s it? God, I thought it’s worse.”

“Is there James? Is there something worse than not knowing what to get your soulmate for the most romantic holiday ever!”

Bucky smiles at the word soulmate. She’s never been this romantic except after she met Clint. It seems love made her show her other sensitive side.

“I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“He always trumps whatever I get him. Remember last year?”

And Bucky hums as he brings his cup to his lips. Nat sits up and runs her hand through her red hair. “He took me to Paris for God’s sake.”

“I do remember ‘cause I babysat your kid.”

“So what should I do? Valentine’s is in two days James.”

Bucky crosses his arms over his chest. “And you came to me for ideas? The last relationship I’ve been in was five years ago. And it wasn’t a good one.”

She waves her hand around as she sips her wine. “You are a romantic. Everybody knows that.”

He snickers. She gives him a pointed look. “I do remember how you were with that piece of shit who didn’t deserve any of the gestures you made for him.”

He looks around and then sighs. “I don’t know Nat.”

“Come on James,” she whines.

He rubs his face and then huffs. “How would I know?”

“I don’t know. What would you do? Give me ideas.”

He rubs his arm and shrugs as he thinks of what he’d do. “I…I’ve always thought simplicity is the most romantic thing ever.”

She scowls at him. “Maybe if you speak Russian I’d understand.” Sarcasm fills her voice.

“Hey. You came to me.”

“I’m waiting,” She says as she drums her well-manicured nails on the marble counter.

“What I’m saying is…just make him dinner and have a romantic night at home. I think it’s the most romantic thing ever. To be simple.”

Nat ponders the idea and Bucky then gets up and gets the pie out. The smell is amazing. He cuts it and gives her a slice after sprinkling some cinnamon powder on top.

“You’re evil,” she says with her mouth full of pie. She digs again with her fork.

Bucky gets himself a slice and digs in. “Here’s what I think. You’re a good cook, so you don’t need help in that department. Just drop Nicole here.”

“It’s gonna be a Sunday. What about school?”

“I’ll take her there. Drop her off. I’ve done it before when you were out of town and Clint had a late shift at the hospital. Remember?”

She lets out a deep breath and then nods. “You know…I think I like your idea.”

He winks at her. “Good. Now, is there anything else ‘cause I have a monster of a document. You can stay here if you want.”

He gets up and she swings her fork around. “I’ll just finish this devil and leave.”

Bucky goes to his office and works on the German document. It’s fifteen minutes and then Bucky hears Nat cleaning up in the kitchen. Then she appears at his door, her handbag with her. She steps inside.

“All right. I’m leav—“

And she stops and Bucky frowns at her. “Nat?”

Then he notices she’s staring at the painting of him and Kyle that Steve did. He sits straight and braces himself.

“What the hell is this James?” she asks softly as she goes to touch but withdraws her hand.

He gulps and then clears his throat. “Uh…it’s Steve’s Christmas present for me.”

She raises a pointed brow and looks at him, calculating.

“Nat…it’s not what you think—“

He stops when she puts her hands up. “Nope, not gonna assume anything. Not gonna taunt ya.”

And before she leaves, she turns smirking. “Maybe I should’ve asked him what to do about my dilemma. Seeing how romantic he clearly is.”

She winks and Bucky feels the ground should open up and swallow him. He’s so embarrassed and then he hears her yell out from the front. “Bye loverboy.”

He yells back, “It was for Christmas.”

Then he slumps back on his chair and huffs a breath.

 

***

 

It’s Sunday already. Nat drops off her daughter early in the morning. She gives Bucky a loud kiss on the cheek and says she owes him. He ushers her out and then he starts making lunch for the kids.

Two hours before sunset, the kids announce that they want to go to the park in the neighborhood. He makes sure they wear their sweaters. It's not cold but it's a bit chilly. 

As they leave the house, Kyle turns clasping his hands together. "Can Stevie come with us?"

Nicole tugs Bucky's hand. "Yes, please uncle Bucky. I miss Stevie"

He never thought they’d have to see him today. _What if the guy has plans?_ He thinks. Hardly. _He’s still mourning his ex-fiancé._

Still, it makes him nervous the thought of spending this particular day with him. He usually spends it baking cookies and playing in the park with Kyle. Nonetheless, he relents.

"Okay. Let's go but I don't know of he's there or not. And we're certainly not gonna pressure him."

The kids run to his house, Bucky taking his time walking there.

They wait for Bucky and when he skips the three steps, he knocks three times.

Nicole goes back and holds his hand. The door opens and Bucky's breath catches. Steve is shirtless and only wearing sweatpants that are dangerously low it's illegal.

"Hey guys!"

Bucky quickly looks away and, thankfully, Nicole speaks,"Woah. You look like a superhero."

"See. I told you,” Kyle says.

Steve chuckles and looks up. "Hey Bucky. What's up?"

"Uh..." He feels his cheeks are burning and suddenly it's hot out there. Luckily Kyle takes over. "We're going to the park. Wanna come with us?"

"Oh, sure. Let me just change. Give me five minutes." And he looks at Bucky. "You can wait inside."

"Nah… it's okay we'll beat you there."

"Not if I beat you first,” Steve retorts, raising a brow.

"Oh it's on then kids."

They giggle and Bucky prods them to walk to the park. Minutes and Steve is suddenly next to him.

"Hey!" he nearly shouts in Bucky’s ear.

"Jesus!" Bucky jumps a few feet away.

Steve laughs. "Sorry but you gotta watch out."

"Don't pull your spy stuff on me."

Steve frowns. "Spy? I was an agent Bucky."

Bucky punches him in the shoulder lightly. “Whatever.”

 

A few minutes of quiet walking and few houses down, they see the park. Steve clears his throat. "Why's Nicole here?"

"It's Valentine’s Day."

"Um...I don't understand."

"Her parents want a time alone and I offered to babysit."

"What about school?"

Bucky shrugs. "I'll take her. It's not her first sleepover. Plus, she's a good kid, not difficult to deal with."

And he walks but realizes that Steve has stopped.

"Steve?"

He looks at Bucky then resumes walking, rubbing his neck. "I thought you'd have plans of your own."

Bucky huffs a laugh. "Yeah. With my invisible boyfriend. You've met him, remember?"

Steve punches his forearm. "I think it's generous of you to offer your time to babysit."

"They're my closest friends. I'd do anything for them. Plus, look at that angel."

They look as Nicole runs around chasing Kyle and he's getting away and every time she misses him, she giggles.

They reach the park and start playing Frisbee. It’s so refreshing to play again and run and Bucky wonders why he doesn't do it often.

 

They all play for thirty minutes until Kyle announces that because it's Valentine’s Day, he wants Steve to let him stand on his big shoulders. 

Bucky shakes his head. _Not again_ , he thinks. "No! Absolutely not!"

"Please uncle Bucky."

What makes it worse is when Steve adds, "Yeah Bucky. It's Valentine’s Day."

Bucky frowns. "What does _this_ have to do with _that_?"

And the two kids hug him until he staggers back. 

"Bucky don't worry. I'll make sure he's safe."

Bucky looks at the three people looking at him, pleading with their eyes, and then points a finger at Steve. "I'll be right with you at all times."

He clasps his hands together. "Yes! Come on Kyle."

Then he scoops Kyle and makes him sit on his shoulders. Bucky tries to relax. "Okay. That’s all, right Kyle?"

"No, I wanna stand." Then looks down at Steve. "Can I Stevie?"

"Sure!"

"Steve, no!" And Bucky steps closer, touching Kyle's foot. "Isn't this enough buddy?"

"No, I wanna see the world."

"Bucky, Bucky, listen,” starts Steve. “Step closer so you can help him stand."

Bucky’s getting irritated and almost snaps when he asks, "How is that possible?"

"Just..." and Steve grabs Bucky's shoulder with one of his hands and pulls him closer. Bucky is few inches from Steve's chest and Bucky ignores his embarrassment for the sake of the kid.

"Raise your hands so Kyle can support his hands on yours and he can stand up."

Bucky is shaking and Steve touches him again. "Hey Bucky. Relax. I got him."

He nods and then looks up at Kyle and smiles timidly. "Okay, buddy. Put your palms on mine."

And Bucky stretches up and Kyle puts his small hands on his and notices that Steve is planting himself firmly.

"Careful, careful," Bucky says.

"Let go uncle Bucky. Let go."

"You sure?"

"He's balanced. Let him go Bucky."

And that's when Bucky realizes that he's inches from Steve. He holds his breath as he sees Steve's reassuring blue eyes.

"Please Steve," he says brokenly. He’s so scared for Kyle.

"I got him. Don't worry."

Bucky steps back a bit and then lets out a nervous laugh as he sees how ridiculously high Kyle is. He moves around them, not having the heart to stay back.

"Bucky step back,” Steve says. “You're distracting us."

"I can't, I can't. What if he falls? What if you?" He hisses.

"He won't. I won't drop him. I swear." Then Steve looks up a bit. "Now Kyle try to stay still, okay?"

"I can see so far away."

"Kyle I swear to God...do what Steve says."

Bucky practically moves around them in circles. Nicole squeals for them and Kyle asks, "Can I spread my arms?"

"No!" Bucky yells.

Steve looks up a bit. "Yes, he can Bucky. It's better for balance. Go ahead Kyle."

He does and Bucky is trying not to have a heart attack. 

"This is the BESTEST day ever and ever!"

"I think that's enough for now Kyle. Come on. We don't wanna get Steve tired."

Steve rolls his eyes and Bucky threatens him with a look. 

"Okay Kyle. Bucky, come stand close so he jumps in your arms."

"Oh god...wait, wait, wait. Kyle, do not move until I say so."

"Relax Bucky, all right?"

Bucky shakes his arms and takes two deep breaths. "Okay. 3, 2, 1."

Kyle lowers himself and then dives for Bucky who secures him tightly in his arms and swings around. “Oh thank God. We are never doing that again!”

“Silly uncle Bucky,” Kyle says as Bucky puts him down. Bucky kisses both his cheeks and Kyle runs away.

Steve laughs at them then turns to the little girl. "What about you Nicole?"

Bucky shakes his head. "No, no. Her parents won't allow it."

"No, I don't wanna Stevie." And she hides behind Bucky.

"Okay." Steve's breathless as he puts his hands on his hips.

"Uncle Bucky why don't you try it," Kyle says excitedly as he plays with the Frisbee and Nicole joins him catching the Frisbee.

Bucky snickers. "No thanks. Plus, it's impossible. I'm a grown up. I'm gonna crush his shoulders."

Steve tilts his head to the side. "I think I'll be fine."

"Well-"

Steve claps once. "What do you say kids? Should I carry him?"

"Yes! Yes!" The two kids jump together.

Bucky notices that Steve is actually approaching him. He steps back as he laughs nervously. He points a finger at him. "Stay where you are Rogers?"

Steve puts his hands up in surrender. "The people have spoken Barnes. And you know that I gotta listen to them."

He takes another step, smirking and Bucky flushes. "Well, I object!"

"Come on Bucky," Steve says as he keeps walking toward him and Bucky retreating.

"If you come any closer..."

"What Bucky?" Steve asks, smiling.

Bucky looks around him. "I'll…I’ll punch you."

Steve shakes his head. "Nah. You wouldn't."

"How would you even know that?" Bucky asks, continuing to walk backwards.

Steve stops. "’Cause I know you."

"Come oooon uncle Bucky. Trust me you'll see the other houses from up there. It looks pretty."

Bucky turns to his nephew. "I don't need to see them Kyle. I'm perfectly---oomph!"

He doesn't see Steve marching; then feels Steve’s shoulder connecting with his stomach to carry him over his shoulder so effortlessly.

"Yaaaay!" The kids scream and shout.

Bucky lets out a yelp. "Put me down you big ... Doofus!"

He struggles for purchase as his arms flap around, wanting to hold on to something. All he can see is Steve's ass and he is so not ready for that. His hands bunch up the t-shirt, exposing Steve’s lower back.

"How about we go for a spin, huh Bucky?"

"No, no, no! I swear to God Rogers!"

And he screams, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. The kid's giggles fill the air and Steve's laughing with them too.

"Say uncle and I'll drop ya."

"Never!" Bucky says determined, lifting his head up in defiance. Then he quickly thinks of a form of retaliation. And he attacks, screaming, "Tickle war!!"

"Shit, Bucky! Don’t." 

And he tickles Steve's sides making Steve swing around unceremoniously. "Cut it out!"

And they stumble and Bucky feels Steve is going to put him down, but because of his wiggling they tumble to the ground in a tangled heap of arms and legs. Yet, Steve swiftly maneuvers them so that he ends up falling flat on his back while Bucky smacks right on top of him.

Both of them end up laughing so hard until Steve is groaning in pain. "Ow."

Bucky scrambles up, but doesn't untangle himself from Steve as he's catching his breath, laughing. "Serves you right."

But he sobers up when Steve winces and blinks twice. "Hey, hey..."

"I'm seeing stars...and birds."

"Well.” Bucky looks up. “The birds are literally flying over us but no stars." Then Bucky crawls up, chest to chest, and cradles his head. "Hey, close your eyes for me."

Steve breathes slowly and closes his eyes. Bucky covers his eyes with his hand and counts to ten. The kids are quiet by now, looking at the situation. He reassures them with a look.

He goes to look at the man beneath him. Bucky is so close to those lush pink lips and he realizes how close he is to just lean in and steal a kiss. He shakes his head and then uncovers his eyes. "Open your eyes now."

And Steve does and then smiles. Bucky exhales in relief.

“What’d ya see now?” Bucky whispers as he gazes into the endless blue of his eyes.

Steve looks at him and whispers, “You.”

Bucky gulps as his eyes roam Steve’s face in awe. Steve then takes a deep breath and that's when Bucky registers that half of him is on top of Steve. He feels the expanding chest and is brought back to reality.

He looks away, pushing himself up and then offers a hand to Steve who springs up like nothing happened. 

"Show off," Bucky mutters.

Steve is about to retort when the kids hug him. "You okay Stevie?"

"Yeah kids. Thanks. How about we run back to the house? What do ya say?"

"Yes!"

"All right. Ready. Set. Go."

And they all take off, running across the park, Steve slowing down a bit and running backward. "Come on Bucky. What's the matter? Not up to it."

Bucky shakes his head. "You're a punk."

"Jerk." 

And he takes off after the kids, Bucky walking leisurely, his eyes not leaving the three. He uses that small privacy of the park to breathe heavily as he remembers how it felt. How it felt to be that close to Steve. His hand touches his heart and finds it beating madly.

"God I'm pathetic," he says to himself.

He hears the faint giggles of the kids and glances up to find Steve scooping up Nicole, his voice yelling "Gotcha!"

She squeals in delight. And Bucky laughs as he jogs catching up to them.

 

In minutes they all reach the house and Bucky jogs up the steps with the two kids in tow. 

He opens the door and looks back to find Steve still standing in the driveway, hands in pockets, fidgeting.

"Come on."

"Yeah?" He asks hopeful.

"Of course."

And he follows them in. 

Bucky takes care of the kids. He supervises them as they wash their hands and faces. And then after they change into clean clothes, Bucky brings them out so they can bake cookies together. He had promised them earlier.

Steve watches them for few minutes before saying, “Hey Bucky. I’ll run to get my sketchbook and come back, all right?”

“Sure.”

And he stirs the mixture until the dough is moderately thick and Nicole is over the moon. She had asked him earlier if they could have a Valentine-themed cookies. Thankfully had a heart-shaped cookie cutter. It’s ten minutes later that Steve comes back, breathless.

“Oh, good. You’re still cooking.”

“I can cook forever,” Nicole announces.

“I can draw forever,” Kyle remarks as he shapes a cookie.

And Bucky smiles at them and when he glances at Steve, he realizes that Steve has the sketchbook he got him for Christmas. His heart skips a beat.

“Can we have music uncle Bucky?” Nicole asks, hopeful.

“Sure. Grab my phone.”

And he picks old music and shuffles until they reach an Elvis song.

“I love Elvis,” Steve mutters as he sketches.

Nicole starts dancing around and Bucky laughs at her. Kyle washes his hands and joins Steve over at the counter. He brings his own sketchbook and starts whispering to Steve something Bucky doesn’t have the time to ask.

Bucky is amazed how well Nicole holds herself.

"Who taught you how to swing dance?"

"Mommy."

Bucky laughs as he remembers how great Nat is at dancing. He washes his hands and goes to spins her around and around. He ends up flinging her in the air. When they're done and the song dies down, he curtsies and she does so too.

Steve and Kyle clap. Steve more mesmerized than ever. "I can never do what you just did."

Bucky puts the cookie sheet inside the warm oven and brings out a step box so Nicole can wash her hands.

"Come on. I don't believe you. You once said you can't cook and now look at you."

Steve snickers. "I still can't. Just some certain dishes."

A slow song comes up. Nicole clasps her hands together. "Come on Stevie."

"Don't be scared Stevie," Kyle says as he draws.

Steve shakes his head as he puts his pencil down. "Nope. I've got the biggest feet...I'll step on you."

Bucky finds himself smiling at the baby face Steve is pulling. He doesn't know why that encourages him but finds himself take off his apron. Steve starts shaking his head.

“No.”

Bucky moves from around the counter, puts the sketchbook away and pulls Steve up. “Come on. It’s a piece of cake.”

Bucky can’t help but relish in the feeling of Steve’s big hands in his. He tries no to blush and prays he pulls it off.

Steve seems too scared to notice. “Trust me Bucky. I’m gonna blow it.”

Bucky shakes his head. “You won’t. We have faith in him, right kids?”

“Yes!”

Steve lowers his head and hisses, “There’s a reason why Peggy avoided dancing with me after a while.”

Bucky smiles and holds both of his hands. “Well, I’m not gonna give up on you.”

Then Bucky whispers, “Plus, I’m exacting revenge. You did carry me like a sack of potato.”

Steve snickers and lets Bucky guide him. Steve’s head is down, eyes fixed on his feet as they stumble and he steps on Bucky twice before huffing and breaking away.

“I told you, I’m hopeless.”

Bucky sees the disappointment on his face and he refuses to give up so he drags him back in, holding his hands. “No, you’re not.”

He sighs and Bucky speaks, “First of all, I want you to look up at me. Forget about your feet.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“Come on,” he prompts and then Steve looks up, a bit of sadness and nerves there. “There they are,” Bucky breathes softly.

He notices that Steve gulps, looking nervous. So Bucky continues, “Now, just move with the music. I’m not gonna use that 1,2,3 thing. Just whatever and however you wanna move.”

And he puts his right hand on Steve’s shoulder and the other one on his hand, arm up. “Okay, now what…” Steve looks confused.

“You know what,” and Bucky stops and asks Nicole to hand him his phone. He goes to his playlist and chooses a swing dance music.

Steve has this horrified look on his face. Bucky waves his hand around. “I’m not gonna murder you. Relax.”

“I can’t slow dance and you want me to swing dance?”

And Bucky starts dancing, tapping his feet, going back and forth and holding Steve’s hands and turning himself around. “Come on. Just move with the music. Close your eyes and have fun.”

“Come on Stevie you can do it,” Kyle stops sketching and starts clapping.

He laughs when Nicole shouts. “If I can do it, you can Stevie.”

And then he’s moving his feet as fast as he can to follow Bucky. He laughs when he doesn’t stumble. They swing their arms together and Bucky shows off a bit and swivels smoothly. It’s been so long since he last danced this way. Last time it was with Nat in a London pub.

Steve laughs. “What in God’s name are you doing with your feet? That is so fast.”

“It’s called dancing Rogers,” Bucky says breathlessly.

And they make use of the small space in the kitchen and the kids clap and that makes Steve a bit more brave in dancing. Bucky is doing most of the moves and notices that Steve is just having the time of his life. Steve ends up improvising and Bucky doesn't care as he lets him. Bucky turns him around and around when the music piece stops.

“Yay! You did it Stevie.” The kids shout in unison.

The adults are breathing heavily and Steve throws his arms around Bucky, and the latter feels the erratic beating of his heart. He hugs him back and pats his back loudly.

“You did good.”

“Oh God. Never thought dancing is this much fun.”

Bucky breaks away when the oven timer goes off. He ties his hair back and gets the tray out.

“Who’s ready for some cookies?”

“We are!”

 

***

 

Bucky ends up cooking dinner that night and after they have a nice, full of anecdotes dinner, him and Steve end up cleaning up. As soon as Steve puts the washed dishes away, he asks Bucky to follow him.

“Let me make tea first.”

Steve shakes his head and grabs him by the arm. “No, come on.”

He frowns but lets Steve drag him out, his hand warm around his wrist. He forgets about it when Kyle and Nicole are standing in the living room, big papers in their hands.

“What’s this?”

Steve goes and stands behind him, hands on his shoulders. “They have something for you.”

“HAPPY VALENTINES!”

And they turn their papers and on it a painting of a big heart with his name inside. He lets out a chocked laugh. “What…How…Why?”

Nicole runs and hugs him. “Silly uncle Bucky. It’s Valentine’s Day. Here’s mine.”

And he takes it as he scoops her in his arms. “It’s beautiful. I’ll put it in my office.”

And then kisses her rosy cheek and puts her down. Kyle comes next and Bucky envelops him hard and then looks at his. He had signed it. “You have a signature now?”

Kyle puffs his chest proudly. “Every artist should. Right Stevie?”

“Absolutely.”

Bucky kisses him on the forehead and then looks at them three. “When did you get to do this?”

“When you were making dinner.”

Bucky wipes at his eyes before he embarrasses himself. He’d always got something from Kyle on this occasion. But to have Nicole and Steve involved makes him a bit emotional.

He hugs both kids. “Thanks again. These are the prettiest works of art I’ve ever received.”

“Lets go pin them on the cork board uncle Bucky,” Kyle says excitedly.

“Sure, let’s go.”

As he turns to head to the dinning room, Steve’s voice stops him. “I…I gotta go. It’s getting late.”

“Oh, okay if you want. But it’s only right you pin these with us.”

Steve looks at him strangely and then smiles. “Sure.”

Bucky smiles back as they all head to the cork board.

It’s the nicest Valentine's Day Bucky has ever had.

 

***

 

Steve finally lands a job. He has told Bucky on one of their language sessions that he accepted Sam’s offer to come work with him in the VA. Sam thought that Steve could offer art sessions as therapy for those veterans. Steve loved the idea and accepted.

Bucky commended him on it and was very excited for him.

 

It’s two weeks after Valentine’s that Bucky prepares a pop quiz for Steve. He’s excited to see the horrified look on his face. It’s a page long and it’s a vocabulary test. He should be fine.

Kyle prepares another new canvas that Bucky had bought him the previous day. He’s lining up his brushes when Bucky looks at the clock. It’s ten minutes past six.

 _That’s strange_ , he thinks. Steve is always on time, if not before.

The doorbell doesn’t ring until six thirty.

Bucky jumps to the door with Kyle on his heel. “It took you long enough.”

But it isn’t Steve. It’s Sam. Bucky never met him but remembers his face when he used to see him jogging with Steve.

Bucky’s heart clenches for some reason. Why would Sam be here?

“Hi. Bucky Barnes?”

“Yes,” he answers softly.

“I’m Sam Wilson. Good to finally put a face to the name.” And he extends his hand. Bucky shakes it timidly.

“And you must be the awesome kid Kyle.” Sam crouches down and puts his hand out. Kyle looks up at Bucky and he nods his way. He shakes Sam’s hand.

Bucky is a bit confused at the strange visit. “If you’re looking for Steve, he’s not here. We’re still waiting for him.”

Sam rubs the back of his neck. “I’m not here for Steve. He actually sent me here. Says he can’t make it.”

Kyle hugs Bucky and asks, “Why?”

Sam opens his mouth twice and then looks at Bucky. “Can I speak to you privately?”

Bucky is trying to compose himself but only feels his heart almost stopping at the dread he’s feeling. He pats Kyle’s back. “Why don’t you go inside buddy. I’ll be right there.”

“Okay.”

Kyle goes inside and Bucky makes sure he’s out of earshot when he turns and tries to not get ahead of himself and assume the worst. He half closes the door and steps outside.

“Tell me. He could’ve called, yet you’re here.”

Sam’s face changes and becomes stern. He looks down and Bucky inhales deeply and holds his breath. He’s bracing himself, praying to God that he won’t say it. Yet, he finds himself feeling it.

Something bad is coming his way. And he’s right.

“There’s been an accident…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger /o\
> 
> Here's the swing music they danced to: 
> 
>  
> 
> [Woody Herman-The Good Earth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXCsWMQPc3c)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _There would be a riot_  
>  If I ever lost you
> 
>  
> 
> ~ Rascal Flatt's "Riot"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not a doctor :P  
> I did some research though.

 

 

 

Bucky runs as fast as he can through the hospital halls, failing at not attracting attention.

Sam had told him that Steve was in an accident but he's okay now. The two of them were walking together out of the VA yesterday afternoon when Steve saw a small dog run across the street and a car was not slowing down. He dashed and thought he was fast enough but the car ended up hitting Steve at the last minute before the driver stopped. The impact was inevitable. Steve’s whole left side hit the hood and the windshields, breaking his arm and knocking him out.  
  
Bucky commended himself for keeping his cool in front of Sam but as soon as he left, he dropped Kyle at Nat's telling him nothing and that he's gonna visit someone.  
  
The kid needs to be told some other time. Not while Bucky was emotional. Nat didn't ask him and told him to feel free to talk later.  
  
He’s going out of his mind in theories and speculations. Surly Sam was sugarcoating it. He has that feeling that it's bad, very bad. But then his memory would conjure up Sam's face and voice when he delivered the news and Bucky would relax just for few seconds before panicking again.

 

"Excuse me sir?" A nurse calls out to him.  
  
He skids to a stop and turns to her. He’s out of breath as he utters, "Steve Rogers."  
  
She frowns and then nods in understanding. "Are you a family member?"  
  
And Bucky stupidly answers, "No."  
  
She gives him a look. He rubs his forehead as he adds, "I'm a close friend. I really am."  
  
"I'm sorry sir. But--"  
  
"I know Sam Wilson," he says, hoping they know him somehow.

“Honey. A lot of people come here, I can’t memorize—“

He walks closer to the desk, griping the counter. “Please. I already know the room number. I could've literally ran there but out of curtsy and respect I stopped when you called me.”

She gives him a look but doesn’t say anything as she shuffles some papers. And Bucky runs a hand through his hair. “Please ma’am. If I don’t see him tonight…I won’t be able to sleep. I beg you.”

And he finds that it’s the truth. His heart is breaking by the second. He can’t picture this night to go any other way. He has to see him. He _needs_ to.

“Go on. Go.”

“Thanks.”

And he runs and stumbles as he misses the room. He walks back and holds the door handle. He takes two deep breaths and actually finds it hard to grasp the handle. His hand shakes and suddenly he’s hit with the memory of seeing Becca in the morgue. Walking in that cold room to identify the body.

He steps back and clutches his chest. His eyes close and he regulates his breathing.

“He’s fine. He’s fine. Sam said so. He wouldn’t lie.”

And he rubs his face and then just barges in.

The sudden entrance jars the people inside.

His seeking eyes land on Steve who’s lying down on the bed, elevated by two pillows. Very much awake. His left arm is in a cast, his face is heavily bruised: his lip is cut, and there’s a huge gash on his forehead and his cheeks are colored in all shades of blue, green and red.

Steve’s bruised face breaks into a smile. A wide one. “Bucky!”

And Bucky stands there, the door closing behind him and that’s when he realizes that there’s another person in the room. A very professional looking one.

Steve huffs a laugh as he sits up a bit straight in bed. “Didn’t know you’re big on dramatic entrances.”

Bucky shakes his head as he walks up to him. “I came as soon as I heard.”

He just stares at Steve, and then his hand reaches out over the white comforter but doesn’t touch. Steve gives him a broken smile and then motions to the woman.

“Bucky, this is Maria Hill. Friend and a former co-worker.”

And that’s when it clicks in Bucky’s head. He’d seen her before in the photos. Christmas photos that Steve had sent him when Bucky was in Orlando.

She extends her hand across the bed. “The infamous Bucky Barnes. Nice to finally meet you. Up until now I thought Steve made you up.”

Bucky gives her a strained smile but only says softly, “Nice to meet you.”

And after he shakes her hand he just stands there, frowning at the bed and then Maria clears her throat.

“Well, I need to make some phone calls. Excuse me.”

As the door closes behind her, Steve chuckles a bit. “Sorry about that. She’s so professional—“

“She knew before I did?” Bucky asks through gritted teeth, not even looking at Steve. He feels angry. Not only he found out the day after, but apparently he’s the last one to know. That bothers him. A lot.

“Hey, Bucky. Look at me.”

He turns to the left and sees him, up close and his throat closes up so he keeps quiet.

“She was already here in DC. She was supposed to meet us yesterday afternoon for lunch. I just seemed to never made it.”

And he chuckles and Bucky snaps. “Stop it! Stop making fun of this situation.”

Steve sobers up and Bucky steps back and goes around to pace at the foot of the bed. “You fuckin’ idiot. What the fuck were you thinking? Huh? Throwing yourself at a speeding car—“

“I didn’t throw myself—“

“Oh, then I guess your arm just broke on it’s own. And your face is badgered up—“

“I couldn’t just let the dog die Bucky…”

“Dogs are faster than you’ll ever be. That dog would’ve made it.”

“It was a three-legged dog!”

And that’s when Bucky stops as he watches the anger in Steve’s eyes. It’s a new look. He’s never seen him this angry before. Never directed that look at him.

Bucky sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He huffs, “Jesus.”

Then he hears a loud sigh coming from Steve. “Bucky, come here.”

Bucky raises his head and looks at him directly. And those bruises. It’s those bruises that won’t stop jarring him. It’s like Becca’s face, only alive and moving.

He gulps and Steve tilts his head and reaches out to him with his good hand. “Come ‘ere, will ya?”

Bucky gnaws on his lip and then walks around the bed to be on his uninjured side. Steve pats the space next to him. Bucky perches on the edge of it, facing him.

Steve lays his hand on the bed, palm up. Bucky looks at it, not really trusting himself to look at Steve closely. He’d burst into tears. He knows it. So he just stares at his own hands.

“Bucky?”

Without looking at him, Bucky says in a grave voice, “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?”

“Bucky…”

“Promise me you won’t pull this shit again.”

There's a few seconds of silence before Steve replies. “I can’t promise that.”

And Bucky lifts his head and meets Steve’s resigned face and Bucky gulps. “You’ve got people who care about you. What am I gonna tell Kyle, huh? He cares you know—"

“I know he cares—"

“I care! I fuckin’ care.” Then he composes himself as he sees the broken look Steve gives him.

It’s silent as they both stare at each other. Then Steve clears his throat. “You’re talking like it’s my fault.”

“Well, it _is_ your damn fault. Going around flinging yourself on cars…You need to remember from now on that there are people who care about you. People who want you around.”

Steve avoids his eyes. And Bucky reaches this time for his outstretched hand; palm a bit cold and Bucky warms it up by holding it tightly with both hands. “You’re not alone. Not anymore.”

"I know," Steve says softly.

"I..." Bucky draws a shuddering breath. "I lost people to car accidents, and I..."

And Steve just pulls him close, hugging him with his good arm. Bucky exhales freely and clutches him to his chest. He minds the cast and wants to close his eyes but remembers that if he did, the tears will fall. He doesn't want that. Not now. Not in front of him. So he blows out a breath silently and flickers his eyes up.

"I'm sorry," Steve whispers into his neck.

Bucky nods and find his hand gripping the hospital gown, his fingers reaching skin in the process.

He huffs a breath as he pulls away. His eyes observe the bruises closely. They’re horrible. What scares him most is that Steve's eyes are red-rimmed. No longer blue.

 _It’s just temporary_ , he thinks. But what comes out of his mouth is a soft, "You shouldn't be bruised."

Steve shrugs, smiling. "Well, when you slam on--"

And Bucky covers his mouth lightly with his hand, and shakes his head. "Don't. Don’t joke about it."

Bucky knows that Steve is probably trying to lighten up the situation or the atmosphere but Bucky can’t handle that. He lost Kyle’s parents to a car accident. And now he almost lost Steve.

Steve's eyes search his face and then nods. Bucky takes his hand off and they're just staring at each other, Steve rubbing Bucky’s hand in his. They stay like that for minutes, Bucky doesn’t realize how long exactly, when the door opens.

"Oh sorry, I'll come back..."

Bucky gets up, jumping back a bit. Maria is standing at the door, a coffee cup in her hand.

Bucky puts his hair behind his ears. He feels his hands shake. "It's okay. I was just leaving..."

She shakes her head and points at him. "No, I'll be back." And she leaves.

Steve smiles. "See what I mean."

Bucky smiles for the first time and Steve sighs. "There it is."

"What?" Bucky asks, frowning.

"Your smile."

Bucky smiles again. "Punk."

"Jerk."

And Bucky sniffles as he comes back to Steve’s bedside. "Do you need anything? I can get your stuff--"

"Sam did. It's okay Bucky."

“Sam told me about your phone. Otherwise I would’ve punched you for not calling.”

Steve chuckles. “Yeah. I…was unconscious yesterday or I would’ve sent Sam earlier.”

Bucky shivers but quickly recovers and he holds Steve’s shoulder. "Where are your keys? keys to the house?"

"Sam's got them...why?"

Bucky nods, staring ahead. "I'll get them from him."

"Bucky--"

"No, I live closest to you. I’ll take care of the place. Plus, when are they releasing you?"

"In three days. Just to be under observation." And he groans.

Bucky tenses. "What is it?"

"Just my back. I need to lie down."

"Okay," and Bucky presses the recliner button as Steve goes down and he fluffs the pillows.

Steve sighs when he’s flat on his back. "Where's Kyle?"

"I dropped him off at the Bartons."

Steve breathes. "Good." And he closes his eyes. "I'm so tired."

"It's okay. Go to sleep." And Bucky reaches his head to run his hands through his golden hair but stops. He makes sure he’s covered lest he gets cold.

“Go to Kyle. It’s already 9 O'clock Bucky,” Steve says, eyes closed.

Bucky looks at his watch and sighs. “You sure?”

Steve points at the door. “Maria is around. I’ll be fine.”

Bucky clears his throat. “Okay. Take care.” And he pats his hand.

“See you tomorrow?” Steve asks, gripping his fingers.

“Of course.”

Then Bucky lets go and realizes Steve has already drifted off to sleep. He leaves the room quietly and walks down the hall when a voice stops him. "Bucky!"

He turns and finds Maria Hill. “Yeah?”

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making him alive again."

He frowns at her, not understanding what she means. She pats his shoulder and leaves, heading for Steve's room. Bucky watches her go and then turns around to head to his kid.  
   
 

***  
 

Bucky parks his car at the Bartons' driveway and sits there with no strength to get out of the car yet.

He had stopped at his own house, filled a duffel bag with some of Kyle's clothes and grabbed his school bag and left. He couldn't look at Steve's dark house. So deserted.

He thought by now Kyle's asleep and might as well sleep there.

As he sits in the car, he suddenly realizes he doesn’t want to be alone tonight. Then he imagines life without Steve.

No more language lessons. No more art sessions. No more watching him through the kitchen window jogging at the early hours of the morning. No more warm blue eyes. No more a friend spending time with him…He could’ve left them in a heartbeat because of that accident. Just like that. Leave them without goodbye or one last moment. Sam could’ve delivered the bad news yesterday and what would Bucky have done?

And he chokes up and starts hyperventilating. He starts feeling claustrophobic and gets out of the car, slings up the bag on his shoulder, and runs to the door.

Nat opens up, in her nightgown, and lets him in. She doesn’t ask him anything and he’s grateful. He notices the dimly lit rooms and figures the kids are asleep. He walks with heavy steps to the couch and slumps there. Nat brings a glass of wine for him. He declines and she comes and sits next to him. He sits there, still, for ten minutes, not saying anything.

"James, honey?" Nat’s voice is quivering.

Without looking her way, he asks, "Where’s Kyle?"

"Asleep. I gave him the spare pajamas he has here."

He nods. "Good."

She folds her legs underneath her and rubs his shoulder as she rests her back on the couch. "Talk to me. What happened? What’s going on?"

His breath shudders.

He gnaws on his lower lip and stares off as it all replays in his head. He remembers how the house looked ugly without Steve there and then his battered face and he inhales but chokes on it and a whine leaves his throat. Then the tears fall.

They fall hard and he leans over, elbows on his knees. His heart is hurting as he recognizes what he's feeling. As he recognizes why he’s feeling that way.

"Hey, hey," and Nat bends over and rubs his back.

Then she calls for Clint who runs to the living room.

"Bucky? When did you...hey..."

And he sits at his feet and Nat is still rubbing his back.

"What is it buddy? You hurt?" Clint asks gently.

Bucky shakes his head and clutches his chest, his t-shirt bunched in his hand.

Nat starts, "He just...I don't know. James you gotta--"

"I'm in love with him."

And it gets quiet and all three still in the room. Even he surprises himself at the confession. He rubs his eyes angrily and lifts up his teary face.

"I'm in love with him and the idiot goes and gets himself into a car accident."

“What? Is he okay?"

Nat gasps. "Oh my god James. You're not saying he's--"

"No! But he could've been. He could've been dead."

"But he’s not." And Clint gets up and goes to the kitchen. Bucky hears some noises but all he really hears is the rapid beating of his heart. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand forcefully.

"It's like Becca all over again."

"James..."

He shakes his head and let's out a wet laugh as he wipes his nose with his sleeve. Nat hands him a tissue. Then he turns to her.

"I'm _in love_ with him."

She nods as she gives him a tender look. "I know."

"It hurts Nat," and he draws a shuddering breath. "It hurts."

And then Clint shows up with three cups of tea. He sits on Bucky’s other side. He hands over a teacup and Bucky takes it reluctantly. He holds it without taking a sip.

He looks down as he speaks. "You were right Clint. It wasn’t just a crush. I had feelings. I was falling in love without knowing it. I'm such an idiot."

Clint holds his shoulder and presses there. "You're not. You can't help who you fall in love with. Look at me. I fell in love with the girl who broke my nose."

“And I fell in love with the idiot who called me a redhead,” Nat supplies.

Bucky snickers in spite of it all. Then he goes back to being somber.

All three spend a few minutes in silence, sipping tea. After a while, Nat speaks. “So, what are you going to do?”

Bucky sits back, feeling very tired. His head is throbbing and his chest is heavy. A sad smile decorates his face. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

The clank of her teacup on the saucer is so loud in the quiet, dimly lit living room. “Like hell you are!”

He turns sharply toward her. “What do you want me to do, huh? The guy is straight. He’s mourning his ex-wife, who passed away two years ago. Need I emphasize the ‘ex’ part?”

She stares at him, challenging. “Then how are you gonna do nothing huh James? Tell me about your crafty plan.”

Clint puts his cup away. “She kinda has a point. The guy literally lives two houses down from you. He gives your kid art sessions practically everyday—“

“If you’re suggesting I cut him out of my life, then you’re dead wrong. He’s a friend first. Plus, he’s important to Kyle.” He feels his throat dry so he sips the warm tea. “Very important.”

“Jesus…I didn’t mean that,” Clint says. “I think you should just move on.”

“And how would he do that dearest?” Nat’s voice is dripping with sarcasm.

Clint shrugs. “Well, you can go on a blind date. Get him out of your system. Remember when you came to my clinic for your hand? There's this male nurse who won't shut up about you. I can set—“

“Clint!” Nat interrupts sharply. “What the hell?”

Bucky runs a hand through his hair and sighs. Nat clears her throat. “I have another solution which is very logical and straightforward.”

They look at her. Then she says point blank. “Just tell him how you feel.”

Bucky snickers. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. I think…you might be surprised James but I think he feels the same for you.”

“Oh yeah? Based on what exactly?”

She raises her brow. “My gut feeling. And you know, _you know_ it’s never been wrong. Hated that motherfucker Craig as soon as I laid my eyes on him.”

Bucky is tired. He doesn't want to discuss this anymore. He's not ready himself to analyze what he's going to do. So, he puts the cup on the table and gets up. “I’ll just go to sleep if you don’t mind.”

“James…I still think…”

He turns around, his shoulders sagged and he has a throbbing headache. “Nat. He moved to DC to live in that house for her. _For her_.” and he laughs humorlessly. “How can I compete with that?”

His two friends look at him helplessly and he gives a lazy wave and goes to the guest room. He finds Kyle hugging the comforter and goes and lies beside him. Hugging the kid to him, and closing his eyes.

The tears start falling again. This time very silently.

 

***

 

“We gotta buy big flowers uncle Bucky. The most beautiful flowers in town…no, in the whole wide world.” Kyle spreads his arms as wide as he can sitting next to Bucky in the car.

Bucky glances at him and smiles genuinely for the first time in the last 24 hours.

 

He had told Kyle about Steve after picking him up from school and going to their home. He sat him down and explained to him how Stevie was trying to save a dog and got hurt in the process. Kyle had a worried look on his face but Bucky really tried to make the whole thing very light.

The kid had kept silent the whole time Bucky was speaking. When Bucky finished, he had hugged Bucky tight. “He’s gonna be okay, right?”

“Yes, buddy.”

And then Kyle touched Bucky’s forehead and eased the frown there. “He’s Stevie. He gotta.”

Bucky shook his head, kissed his nose and they both got to the kitchen to bake the best apple pie there is.

 

They stop at a florist. Bucky just lets Kyle choose whatever he wants from types to colors. They end up with a huge colored bouquet. Twenty minutes later and they’re walking down the hospital halls.

Kyle insists on carrying the bouquet himself even though it's a bit heavy. Bucky keeps his hand hovering on Kyle’s back as he carries the covered pie in his other hand. They reach the room and Bucky knocks three times before he hears Sam’s voice.

His heart falls because he wanted a moment alone with Steve but maybe he should avoid these from now on. He’s still disoriented from the fact that he admitted he’s in love with the guy.

They come inside and Bucky smiles as he ushers Kyle in who tenses at the presence of new people. Sam and Maria are there and the guy from the photos, Coulson.

Bucky inhales deeply and then stands at the door. He didn’t expect them to be honest. He would’ve liked for Kyle to have some time alone with Steve.

He nods their way. “Hey everyone.”

Steve sits up, a smile-like sunshine-on his face as he breathes, “Hey guys.”

Bucky sees him for the first time since last night. Since his confession. He couldn’t go see him in the morning. It was too raw for him.

Yet, his heart beat madly. He feels like just reaching out and hugging Steve to himself, protecting him from anything.

Sam comes up from around the bed and takes the box from Bucky as he claps him on the shoulder, bringing him back to reality. “Hey man. Just so you know, I’m taking this. Whatever it is.”

Bucky chuckles. “I can bake you all the pies you want. Just let me know.”

Sam’s eyes widen. “A pie you say?” then he turns to Steve. “Sorry man. I’m taking this.”

Bucky rubs the back of his neck out of embarrassment. Then Steve beckons them over, and Bucky whispers to Kyle, “Go.”

Kyle walks slowly toward the bed and says in a small voice, “Hey Stevie.”

Steve has this broken look on his face. “Hey buddy.”

Then Kyle hands him the bouquet. “These are for you. I hope you like them.”

Steve takes it and sniffs them. “I love them.” Then he pats the side of his bed. “Come here and tell me about what I missed.”

Kyle looks at Bucky then clasps his hands together. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t. I feel fine. Here.” And Steve scoots to the side a bit. “Bucky, hoist him up, will ya?”

Bucky shakes his head in amusement. He puts his nephew there and Steve hugs him to his side and kisses his head. “I missed you buddy.”

Kyle looks up at Steve for few seconds. Bucky gulps; he knows that Kyle is probably shocked by the bruises even though Bucky had prepared him for it.

“I missed you too Stevie.” And brings his arm around Steve’s waist, hugging him tightly as he buries his head in his chest.

And Bucky almost breaks right then and there. That pain in his heart that he had felt last night is back in full force. He jolts when someone comes over toward him.

“Hi Mr. Barnes. I’m Coulson. Heard a lot of things about you,” he says as he shakes Bucky’s hand.

Bucky blushes. “Uh…Good things I hope?”

“Bucky’s everything good,” Steve interjects and turns to grab something from the stand.

Bucky wishes he could disappear out of embarrassment. Maria gives Bucky a smile. And Bucky nods their way. “Steve talks a lot about you guys too. It’s great to finally meet all of you.”

“Hey Phil, I want to talk to you about something.” And she strides, grabbing him by the arm.

Sam motions that he wants to follow them. “And I’ll go get us coffee. How do you take yours Bucky?”

“Um black is fine.”

“Cool. What about you chief?” And he looks at Kyle, stooping a bit to his eye-level.

Kyle still has his arm around Steve’s middle. “Uh…I’m good. Thank you.”

“I’ll bring a juice just in case. What kind?” he asks Bucky aside.

Bucky shrugs. “Whatever is there. You really don’t have to.”

“Come on man.” Then he whispers, “I want the chief to like me too.” And he claps him on the shoulder before leaving. Bucky is touched by that and turns to see the chief is still very much attached to Steve, coloring his cast.

The room is quiet except for them and the patient. He goes and sits to the other side of the bed, his hands feel nervous for the first time. It’s like he’s seeing Steve differently now.

_I’m in love with him._

Then it hits him that he really shouldn’t explore those thoughts, especially in his presence. He needs to put a lid on it. _Pronto_.

“How’re ya feeling today?”

Steve turns to Bucky after handing Kyle another colored pencil. He extends his cast so Kyle can continue doodling on it.

“I’m good. Great, actually, with you guys here,” Steve says, beaming.

Bucky observes his face. The bruises look nastier than before but at least they’re starting to fade in some areas.

“Listen, you’re getting out after tomorrow right?”

“Yeah.”

“What time? I’ll pick you up.”

He shakes his head. “No, Bucky. It’s okay. Sam is—“

“No, I’m picking you up.”

_What the fuck am I doing? So much for moving on._

“Bucky. I had already fought with Sam about this. I don’t want you guys to fight over this.”

Bucky purses his lips as he nods. “Okay, fine. But I’m still taking the keys from him.”

“Fine,” Steve smiles.

Sam comes later and they all enjoy the pie. Kyle is still snuggled in Steve’s side all throughout.

 

***

 

When they are done with the pie and sharing funny stories, mainly Sam telling embarrassing stories about Steve, Bucky feels more at ease. Then Sam goes and asks him to go with him to get more coffee.

After telling Kyle to keep Steve company, Bucky follows and suddenly remembers that Sam is to be married.

"Hey, congratulations man on your engagement."

Sam looks at him, surprised. "Thanks Barnes. Steve told you?"

"Yeah." Then he feels stupid. "Was I not supposed to know--"

"No, Jesus, you're funny." And Sam laughs as they continue walking. When they reach the cafeteria, he stops Bucky in the middle of the room.

"I just wanna say thanks."

Bucky shrugs. "For what?"

"For everything man."

Bucky averts his eyes from Sam's scrutinizing eyes. "I didn't do anything."

"You didn't see him a few months ago. Ever since Peggy, he hasn't been the same. When he moved to DC, I was so happy. I made it my mission to get him back to the old Steve Rogers. It was useless. Then he..."

"What?" Bucky asks softly.

"He started behaving differently. Good different, you know. Like the old Steve is back to life. Even better than his old self."

"Why are you thanking me then?" Bucky is afraid of the answer for some reason. He doesn't want his heart to take another hit.

Sam gives him a strange look, then smiles. "It started when he mentioned meeting you and your kid."

Bucky doesn't know what to do with that. _It means nothing Bucky! We just helped him move on, that's all,_ his inner voice screams at him.

He takes a deep breath but is at a loss for words. Sam chuckles. "Come on. Let's get some coffee."

 

***

 

Later that night, Bucky tucks Kyle in. He kisses him on the forehead and goes to get up when Kyle’s hand stops him.

“Uncle Bucky?”

“Yeah.”

“Stevie is gonna be okay right?” his voice is breaking and it’s apparent he’s on the verge of crying.

Bucky smiles warmly in spite of feeling his heart breaking into millions of pieces. Kyle never got this look on his face. Never.

Bucky asks him to scoot over and lies next to him and the kid climbs him, practically lying on top of Bucky.

“Of course he’s gonna be okay buddy. Don’t worry. Everything’s fine. The doctors treated him fully.”

Kyle lifts his head up, his eyes teary. No tears are falling. Not yet. And Bucky is determined not to let them. He cradles his face in his hands, his thumbs caressing his cheeks.

“What if he never gets to draw again?”

And Bucky tries not to look brokenly at the kid. “He’s fine. They’ll take out the cast in six weeks. And he uses his right hand anyway, so there’s no problem.”

“What if he can’t do push-ups or lift me up again?”

“He’s gonna do that I promise.” Then he adds to lighten it up. “I’ll let him lift me up too.”

Kyle purses his lips. “Can he? After….”

Bucky cradles his head to his chest. “Yes.”

Then he sniffles and Bucky slides under the sheets. “Come on.”

And Kyle hugs him.

“Everything’s gonna be fine. Stevie will be more than fine.”

“Okay uncle Bucky.” Then Kyle reaches his hand to tangle it in Bucky’s hair. He used to do that whenever he was scared when he was little. This is one of the reasons why Bucky kept his hair long even though Kyle is almost seven now.

“This is the worst day ever and ever,” Kyle whispers to Bucky’s chest.

Bucky inhales and tries to hold back his own tears. “Listen. He’s coming home after tomorrow, around six. So, you and I will go to his house and prepare a surprise for him. I already got the keys from Sam. What do you think?”

Kyle lifts his head up, smiling for the first time that night. His eyes are sparkling. “Yes! I’ll … paint a banner, yeah? Like…welcome home Stevie.”

“Why not? And we’ll buy him a present. I was thinking a cell phone.”

“A cell phone?” Kyle is frowning at him.

“His phone broke in the accident.”

Kyle grips Bucky’s arms tightly. “Yes! Oh my God. This is the best present uncle Bucky.”

Bucky laughs and watches as Kyle slides over from on top of him and lies on his side. “Oooh. I have so many ideas.”

Bucky kisses his head and lies on his side, watching the kid get excited. He decides to sleep next to him. And Kyle spends most of the next two hours brainstorming with Bucky who just keeps lying there, playing with the kid’s hair and promising himself that as long as he lives, that his kid won’t know sorrow.

 

***

 

Kyle’s at school the next day and Bucky busies himself after dropping him at school with baking cookies and mini pizzas that he made from scratch. He intends to take them to Steve before Kyle gets out of school.

He’s all over the kitchen when Nat and Clint call. They wanna join him and visit Steve. Clint swears that he didn’t time his visit with Bucky’s pizza.

 

He meets them there at the reception area around 11. Clint quickly jogs up and helps Bucky carry some of the stuff. Nat raises her brow at him and he hisses at her, “Not a fucking word please.”

She shrugs as she folds her arms across her chest. “What? I’m just admiring your outfit.”

And then Bucky realizes he’s wearing his sweatpants and an old ripped white t-shirt. “Fuck.” He was so busy cooking and boxing everything that he forgot to change.

She smirks and slips her arm through Clint’s when he catches up to them.

“Please don’t embarrass me,” he says to them over his shoulder. He’s way ahead of them.

“Us? Says the guy bringing so much food it’s ridiculous.”

Clint snickers. “Are you planning on feeding the staff too?”

“Just shut up!”

And they get inside the elevator. Clint tries to sniff the containers and Bucky shoves him away. Then he explains, “His friends are always there so I had to take them into consideration.”

“You’re like a mother hen it’s cute,” Nat drawls.

He rolls his eyes and then they walk down the hall, Nat’s heels making loud noises as she walks with her husband. Bucky leads them and then knocks three times when he reaches the door and strains to hear for anything and opens up anyway.

“Incoming,” he announces, smiling.

They only find Steve lying on his side, facing them. No one is there and it's semi-dark with most of the curtains closed. He smiles tiredly at them. “Hey Bucky. You’re here.”

And doesn’t get up or move at all. Bucky feels that something is wrong. Steve does not look okay today. So he finds himself quickly putting the stuff on the other side of the room where a small table is and rushing to Steve’s side. He totally forgets about the couple with him.

“Hey, hey,” he says softly and debates touching his forehead but does at the end. He feels okay, not hot or even warm. Bucky gets down on his knees, his cotton sweatpants doing nothing to prevent the feel of the cold floor. “What’s wrong? You don’t look fine.”

Steve chuckles lightly. He extends his hand and Bucky holds it. “I’m fine now.”

Bucky smiles gently. “Do you want me to call a nurse?”

He waves his finger from side to side and that’s when Bucky notices that he’s not moving his head. Some wild hair strands are on his forehead. And Bucky is dying to swipe them away but tries to restrain himself.

“Nah, it’s fine. I just have a killer headache. I need to just…not move at all. That’s what I figured at least.”

Bucky nods along. “Okay.”

Then Steve’s droopy, tired eyes glance behind Bucky. “Oh, hi guys. I’d move but…”

Clint waves a hand at him. “Don’t worry man. We just thought we come here and check on you.”

“Hope you feel better Steve. Getting out tomorrow?” Nat asks.

“Yes,” he whispers. “Thanks for coming.” And he winces.

Bucky panics and looks up at Clint who goes and checks the chart. “Did you always get this kind of headache or just after the accident?”

“No, just after the accident. Started last night. I couldn't sleep. It’s okay. I’ve been through much worse.” He chuckles and squeezes Bucky’s hand. “Been shot at, been stabbed…this is nothing.”

And Bucky squeezes back but then speaks softly to him. “Hey, close your eyes for me.”

“But—"

“Please?” and he doesn’t wait before he puts his hand on Steve’s eyes and counts to ten. Before he moves them, he whispers, “I’m gonna take my hand off but don’t open your eyes okay? Just sleep.”

“But you’re here…”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Steve squeezes his hand. “What if I sleep all day?”

That makes Bucky smiles. “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then Bucky takes his hand off his eyes. Steve exhales and his face looks more relaxed now. Bucky looks at Clint but doesn’t want to speak lest he disturbs Steve. So he ends up texting with his other hand, the one not in Steve’s. He doesn’t send it but shoves the screen of his phone their way.

_Let them give him medication for this!_

Clint motions with his hand that he’s gonna go check. Nat watches them and then takes off her heels and walks to the chair at the other end of the room. Bucky is still on his knees, hand in Steve’s.

He gives her a questioning look. She shrugs and folds her legs under her, hand under her chin. There’s amusement in her eyes when she points at his knees, reminding him that he’s still on the floor. He gets up and doesn’t know what to do. He tries to reach for the chair beside him, but fails. It’s too far. He’s got to let go to get it but he has no intention of letting go of Steve’s hand.

Suddenly Nat pads over in her stockings and carries the chair to him. He mouths ‘thanks’ and she rolls her eyes and goes back to her chair.

Bucky winces at the pain in his knees from sitting on the floor for long. He sits on the chair and stares at Steve. His face looks grave. When he’s sure that Steve’s asleep, he runs his other hand through those wild strands, putting them back.

He realizes it’s his first time touching it. It’s soft. So soft. He gets bold and runs his fingers through his hair four times before Steve exhales audibly and Bucky freezes. He waits seconds and then breathes in relief when Steve doesn’t wake up.

Bucky realizes later that Nat is still there, so he flushes when he glances her way. She shakes her head at him in disapproval and then Clint creeps inside. He takes her hand and motions for Bucky to follow him outside.

Bucky eases his hand out and leaves the room. They move a few steps away from the door.

“So?”

“It’s just ‘cause of the trauma. They had already administered a medication minutes before we got here. It’s just kicking in.”

“That’s why he slept.”

“He’ll be fine. I talked to his doctor. They’re still releasing him tomorrow.”

Bucky rubs his arms. He feels cold all of a sudden. “Thanks Clint.”

“No problem.” Then Clint does a double take at his wife. “Why the hell are you barefoot?”

“The guy had a headache. I’m not that heartless Barton.” And then she puts her heels back on.

Clint smiles and brings her to him, kissing her forehead softly. Bucky has never seen that serenity before. Nat, to his surprise, blushes and swats him away.

“Sorry about the pizza Clint.”

Clint waves a hand at him. “It’s okay. You’re making some this Saturday.”

Nat hugs Clint’s side, nuzzling his chest. “Just take care Bucky.”

Bucky snickers. “I’m not the one lying on the bed Nat.”

“I know,” she says softly. And he looks away knowing fully well what she meant.

He nods, resigned as he watches them leave.

 

***

 

He stays there, next to Steve, staring at him from time to time. He didn’t bring a book so he pulls out his cell phone, making sure it’s on silent mode. He checks his e-mail. He hasn’t done any work ever since the accident. He hasn’t taken a new assignment.

Bucky figures it’s time to scroll through and read the messages in his inbox. He pulls his knees to his chest as he reads. Then when it’s time to pick up Kyle, he pulls the comforter up to Steve’s shoulder in case he gets cold.

They get to the house and go straight to Steve’s house. Bucky starts cleaning up while Kyle does his homework on the dinning table. Bucky cleans the kitchen and washes some dishes there. Then he dusts the living room and finally--reluctantly-- goes to Steve’s bedroom. He has debated this a lot but resigned at the end. He figures if he were Steve, he’d rather have his room ready.

Opening the door slowly, Bucky sees that the bed is not made. There are paintbrushes and books all around. Some socks are on the floor.

Bucky hesitates for seconds before he says ‘fuck it’ and goes inside. He puts the brushes away, books on the nightstand and then takes out the bed sheets to wash them. He wants him to have fresh clean ones. As he takes out the pillowcase, he let's his fingers feel the texture and then-without thinking-brings it to his nose and he inhales the scent there.

And it's _him_. It's his scent all over. Still strong. He frowns at himself. "God, what the fuck am I doing?"

He feels embarrassed and internally reprimands himself. He quickly folds them up, sheets and the light comforter, and leaves the room. He goes around the house looking for the washing machine, and can’t find it. He goes back to the dinning room and asks Kyle to come with him to their house. Steve obviously uses public laundry. Bucky will just use their own.

It takes them three hours to make the house presentable. Then when Bucky checks that Kyle had done his homework, they both drive to the hospital. He figures that he can check on him one more time.

When they arrive, Steve is sprawled on his back, mouth open and deep asleep. No one is in the room. Bucky smiles, happy that he’s still asleep and from the looks of it, the headache is no longer troubling him.

He looks down at Kyle as he closes the door quietly.

“But we didn’t even get inside uncle Bucky.”

“Tomorrow. He needs sleep.”

Kyle sighs in disappointment. Bucky squeezes his little hand. “Hey, let’s go buy that present.”

And Kyle’s mood changes, making him skip all the way to the parking lot.

 

***

 

The next day and after Bucky drops Kyle, he goes and checks his e-mail again. He still hasn’t decided on his next client. His mind is not in the game. Then he spends all morning making tuna sandwiches, ham and cheese, little pizzas from scratch. Cooking calms him. He turns on some 40s music and feels a bit light that day.

He puts all different sandwiches in trays; covers them with aluminum foil and goes to Steve’s house. He puts them all on the dinning table. Sam had texted him earlier saying that Steve will be out at around 4. So, Bucky wants everything ready by then.

Then he goes back and bakes two cinnamon apple pies. Sam couldn’t stop talking about his pie that day so he makes sure there’s enough for everybody.

When he sets everything and makes sure Steve’s house is ready to be lived in again, he grabs his keys and heads to pick up Kyle.

 

Twenty minutes later in traffic, they reach their house. Kyle is running around, washing up, and changing his clothes into new ones and runs ahead of Bucky to Steve’s, the banner in his hand.

Bucky laughs at him as he checks the time. They still have fifteen minutes before Steve arrives.

When he opens the door to Steve’s, the house feels much warmer, homey too. Totally different than when he and Kyle came to clean up. Kyle insists to hang the banner himself on the arc to the dinning room.

“Welcome home Stevie” is in full paint.

Bucky lets him stand on the chair and helps out a bit. When they’re done, and uncover the food and Bucky brings out the drinks, he takes a picture of Kyle with the whole setting. As he clicks to capture the picture, Kyle jumps sticking his tongue out.

He makes sure that the pie is cut and puts everything together when Kyle insists they go wait on the steps. They sit there, Kyle skipping around and Bucky checking his e-mail.

 

Fifteen minutes later and a car pulls up in the driveway. Bucky’s heart flutters. This is it. Steve is back in their midst. The man he’s in love with.

_Abort such thoughts._

Kyle looks giddy as he goes to stand next to Bucky. Sam gets out, waving at them and they wave back. They watch him get the bag from the backseat and goes to open up the door for Steve.

Bucky’s smile fade as he watch Steve step out using a cane. He breaks inside. He didn’t know that there was something wrong there. Then remembers when Sam told him that he took a hit to the hip. When Steve looks up, Bucky quickly plasters on a smile. No need to make him feel sorry for himself.

“Stevie!” and Kyle runs but stops too. It seems he has the same reaction as his uncle. So Bucky walks up to stand behind his nephew and holds his shoulders. “Welcome home Steve.”

Sam looks between them as they all hug. Steve inhales deeply while looking around. “God, it’s so good to be back here.”

Kyle keeps eyeing the cane. Steve seems to notice so he ruffles his hair. “It’s just temporary Kyle. Won’t use it for long.”

The little kid breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh, okay.”

And Sam goes and shakes Bucky’s hand. “How’s it going?”

And Bucky finds himself smiling widely. Maybe it’s because the weather is nice or maybe because Steve is finally back.

Back within their reach.

“I’m fine. You?”

“Getting this close to kicking his ass,” he whispers as he nods toward Steve who’s already limping ahead of them with Kyle holding his arm as if he’s helping him walk. Bucky smiles at the image.

“Why?”

“He didn’t wanna use the cane. I mean…it’s what he needs now but with several physical therapy session he’ll bounce back to normal.”

“How many sessions are we talking about here?” Bucky asks as he lets Sam get in the house first. As he closes the door and turns, he’s engulfed awkwardly by Steve, who’s cast arm is digging through his back.

“Oh.” Bucky lets out as he tries to plant himself firmly on the floor. He laughs nervously.

“Thank you.” And Steve squeezes one more time before he breaks away and Bucky notices that his eyes are brimming with tears. “You…this is nice. Thanks.”

And he holds Bucky’s shoulders very strongly and Bucky gulps. _Why am I doing this to myself?_

He can hear Clint’s warning ringing in his ears.

“Wow! Bucky you outdid yourself.” Sam whistles as he puts the duffel bag on the sofa and goes to inspect the banner. He turns to Kyle. “You did this chief?”

Kyle goes to stand next to Bucky. “Yes.” His voice is soft and Bucky realizes that Kyle is still shy around Sam.

“I think I’ll take a picture of it. It’s too cool. You mind?” And he pulls out his phone.

Kyle smiles widely and steps closer. “No.”

Sam takes several pictures and then tells them to all stand there and he’ll take a picture of them. Steve beckons them to him, and hugs Kyle to his left, and Bucky to his right.

Bucky’s smile is strained but pulls through. It tugs at his heart that there will be a picture of them that looks like a family picture but totally not. Then Sam asks Bucky to take one of him and goes to stand in Bucky’s spot.

Bucky takes several shots of them as Kyle and Steve keep ruining the shot by doing ridiculous faces.

After they’re done taking photos, Sam tells them that he is going to dig in and they can join him if he wants. Steve and Bucky look at each other and laugh.

“Is he always this funny?” Bucky asks, hands in pockets.

“Yeah. It gets irritating sometimes how smooth he is.” And he chuckles and moves forward to join Sam, forgetting his cane. He winces and almost stumbles but Bucky quickly catches him, circling his arm around his waist.

“You okay? Easy there.”

Steve breathes heavily and then nods. His smile is strained. “I’m okay. I just forgot.”

Bucky purses his lips and hands him the cane. He uses it and Bucky hovers around him until he gets to the table.

They all sit around and Bucky notices that Kyle is not afraid to initiate talk with Sam. That warms his heart.

“Oh Stevie, here’s a present we got for you.” And Kyle gets up and walks around the table to get to Steve and hands it over.

“Oh,” Steve looks very surprised as he takes it. “What is it?”

“Open it.” Kyle rubs his hands together and Sam chuckles.

He rips the gift wrap and stills as he eyes the new iPhone device in his hands. Bucky holds his breath, hoping Steve won’t think it’s too much.

Steve looks up at him. _Yup, he thinks it’s too much._

“Wow!” Sam says as he leans over to take a better look.

“Stevie?” Kyle puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder.

He breaks eye contact with Bucky and laughs nervously. “I love it. Thank you so much.”

And he hugs the kid and Bucky blurts. “Sam told me about your broken phone, we thought a new device…”

Steve opens his mouth twice. “Thanks Bucky. Uh…I don’t know what to say.”

Kyle runs back to his seat and Bucky puts his arm around his chair. His eyes land on Sam who’s watching him, calculating. He looks away and sips from his drink.

Steve puts the gift aside and asks Kyle about school and the kid doesn’t disappoint.

 

***

 

It’s nighttime and they’re still at Steve’s. Sam bids them goodnight and asks Bucky to walk him to his car.

As they walk, he turns to Bucky. “Listen Bucky. I wanna ask you to do something for me.”

“Shoot.”

“Keep Steve’s house keys with you,” he stresses.

Bucky frowns and feels dread all of a sudden. “Why?”

“That asshole doesn’t take care of himself. He's a pain in the ass when he's injured or sick. He has to take a medication for his pain but I know for a fact he won’t. I need you to make sure he does, even if it takes you to barge in and wake him up to do so.”

Bucky is not surprised. It’s totally Steve Rogers. So he gives his word that he’d do just that. Sam tells him that he’s going to be busy with workshops in the next few days, otherwise he’d do it himself.

 

Bucky goes back inside and finds Kyle asleep on the couch and Steve sitting next to him, just covering him with his jacket.

“Aw man.” Bucky sighs.

“An exciting day." Then Steve motions for Bucky to come sit next to him. He does.

“Thanks for everything. The food, the house...” Then Steve chuckles as he spread his good arm wide and whispers loudly. “This is the BEST homecoming party ever and ever!”

Bucky laughs slightly. “You’re impossible.”

Then they sit quietly for few seconds before Steve turns his body slightly to him. “Seriously though. That phone…I can’t accept it.”

Bucky's heart falls. “What? why?”

“Are you kidding me? That must’ve cost a lot.”

“Listen, I don’t care, all right. It’s from Kyle and you are certainly not gonna return it.”

Steve stares at him, and it’s a stare-down until Steve huffs. “Fine. But don’t do that again. I could’ve repaired my old one.”

Bucky snickers as he stands to pick up Kyle. “The smashed one?”

“Sam exaggerates.”

“Come on buddy.” And Kyle goes willingly with Bucky, wrapping his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Bucky puts his hand on his back and Steve gets up, using his cane and walking them to the door.

Bucky turns. “Listen, don’t be alarmed tomorrow because I’ll stop by early after I drop Kyle at school to make sure you take your meds. And don’t worry, I have the keys.”

Steve opens his mouth in shock. “I regret introducing you to Sam. He put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“Can’t talk,” Bucky whispers as he smirks. “Kid’s asleep.”

Bucky turns and opens the door with one hand and waves at Steve, who pouts but waves back anyway.

 

***

 

Next morning Bucky drops Kyle at school then goes back to his house to drink his coffee. Then he gets his laptop and puts some papers in his messenger bag and dashes out to Steve’s.

He uses the keys and opens the door very softly. “Steve?”

No answer. He must still be sleeping.

He closes the door then walks around. The house feels serene and very cozy in the morning. Much different than when he jumped in through the window months ago.

Seems like years ago.

He puts his laptop and bag on the dinning table very quietly. Then he looks around and looks down the hall. The bedroom door is open. He pads quietly toward it and glances inside.

Steve is very much asleep. Bucky is relieved that his cast arm is elevated. It means he knows how to take care of it. He looks at his wrist watch. It’s still early, so he closes the door and goes back to the kitchen.

He’s very glad that he had shopped for the poor fridge. He gets out eggs and brews coffee and decides on making an omelet. He brings out the cheddar cheese and then he hears the door open. He clears his throat and calls out. “Good morning!”

He waits a bit and then hears the sound of feet and cane. He smiles as he flips the omelet. When he turns, he sees the most adorable sight.

Standing before him is a very sleepy Steve Rogers. Bed hair, wrinkled t-shirt, one pant leg is up to the knee and he’s rubbing his eyes as he yawns.

“Look at you,” Bucky starts and laughs. “Never thought I’d see you like this.”

Steve points at him in warning as he walks to the counter. Bucky pours him coffee and hands over the plate of omelet, and drops the two pieces of toast next to it.

“Eat up so you can take your medication.”

Steve groans and Bucky realizes he hasn’t spoken yet. He smiles as he pours himself orange juice and sits across from him, munching on a slice of toast. Steve puts the coffee aside and picks at the eggs.

Steve hums in delight and swallows. “This…this is heaven.”

"Thanks." And takes another bite of his toast.

Steve freezes. "Wait...did you..." And points at the fridge.

Bucky smirks. "Yes and shut up."

Steve raises his hands in surrender.

 

***

 

Bucky has to fight Steve to take his medications. After a long argument, he does. And Steve goes on and on about how he's not a baby and Bucky laughs throughout his rant. He tells him that he had actually brought his laptop to work here so he could keep an eye on him. And he can't kick him out since he has the keys. Steve huffs and tells him he's going to take a shower.

_Sam's right. He is a pain in the ass!_

 

Ten minutes later and Bucky hears a loud thud coming from down the hall.

Bucky waits for few seconds and then calls out. "Steve?"

And he hears cursing. Bucky gets up, makes sure he saves his work and then walks to the room. He knocks on the door that's slightly ajar and it creaks.

"Steve?"

"Yeah?"

And Bucky peeks and finds the guy slumped on his bed, a t-shirt bunched in his hand.

"You okay?"

Steve rubs his face and looks so resigned. "I can't fucking take my shirt off."

And he snickers and throws the new t-shirt across the room. Bucky walks up to him. "Hey, don't beat yourself up."

Steve is rubbing his forehead. "Fuckin embarrassing."

Bucky just goes and picks up the t-shirt and stands in front of Steve. He doesn't say anything and just extends his hand to him. Steve looks at it and then seconds later he takes it, confused. Bucky pulls him up gently and they are standing so close Bucky knows he's treading uncharted waters. Playing with fire but it's okay. He's helping him. Plus, Steve doesn't feel the same way.

Steve searches his face but Bucky is determined not to look back because he will lose all self-restraint. His hand reaches for the hem of the t-shirt and bunches it up very softly and slowly, trying his best not to brush skin.

He’s exposing his abs now and Bucky is still not looking up, he's looking at his working hands. He mistakenly brushes skin and a soft gasp escapes Steve. Bucky looks up and his question comes out as a whisper. "Okay?"

He’s surprised when he sees that Steve's eyes are closed. He can count his long lashes. "Steve?"

"Yeah. I mean...I'm okay."

And Bucky gets the shirt up until his pecs and then reaches for his good arm and finds that Steve is letting him take the lead. He gets his arm through and out of the t-shirt’s short sleeve. Half of it is over his shoulder now and it gets tricky.

Bucky reaches from behind, making himself almost plastered to Steve's broad chest and he's literally trying to slow his heartbeats and regulate his breathing. They're so close they're almost sharing breath.

He pulls up the back of the shirt, fingers brushing soft skin and says, voice sounding throaty, "Duck your head a bit."

And he does and Bucky very carefully pulls at the neckline, stretching it a bit before pulling it from around his blond head. Bucky smiles at the messed up hair and he, unthinkingly, brushes it back with his hand.

Steve opens his eyes at that moment and looks at Bucky. He can't look away for few seconds. He's lost in the blue sea.

Bucky knows he must be as red as a tomato now. Flushing to the roots of his hair. Yet, he's glad that Steve's cheeks are pink and his ears are red. But he must be embarrassed. He's just undressed him like a kid. So, Bucky looks to the left as he slides the sleeve through the cast very carefully. He puts the t-shirt on the bed, not moving as his eyes roam over the bruised left side of him. He touches his bruised hip gently. “It looks horrible. Does it hurt?"

"Not now," Steve says softly. 

 _It must've healed by now_ , Bucky thinks. When he looks up, he finds that Steve is staring at him. 

Bucky clears his throat. "Where's the cast cover?"

And Steve frowns. “Huh?”

“You know…to put on your cast. Or you don’t have—“

“Oh yeah,” and he turns to go to the bathroom and Bucky has a window of a minute to breathe. He runs both hands through his hair and he finds himself sweating.

_Great._

And Steve comes back and hands it over like a kid and Bucky chuckles.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Bucky replies as he wraps the injured arm and secures it lest water penetrates it.

“You’re good to go.”

“Thanks.”

And Bucky points with his thumb. “I’m gonna be in the dining room working.”

He turns but stops when Steve grabs his wrist. He looks back, face already feeling hot.

Steve is looking at him with the fondest look. “Thank you. I mean it.”

Bucky nods and tries to leave but Steve doesn't let go. He steps closer to Bucky instead. "Thanks for the clean bed sheets. I only realized it when I went to sleep last night."

Bucky almost melts and can't form words, so he nods again, eases from his grasp and leaves the door ajar. He doesn’t look back as he walks to the dinning room. He really needs to breathe. Really breathe. Fresh air.

He opens all the windows to the dinning room area. He sticks his head out and inhales deeply, closing his eyes. And that was a mistake. Steve’s broad, chiseled chest attacks his vision and he snaps his eyes open. He looks at the view outside to distract himself. The trees are lovely and the houses…

“Fuck!”

And he goes and sits to resume translating. Work always distracts him. It totally makes him tune out every thought and noise. He’s just about to work on the document when he hears the shower and he freezes.

“Nope.”

And he puts his headphones on; opening iTunes and going for music he’s never heard before. The last thing he wants is to mouth the lyrics to a song. Totally distracting. He chooses Alternative music this time. He doesn’t know the band. He clicks preview of the whole album and lets all of their songs fill his ears.

He raises the volume so loud he doesn’t hear the shower anymore.

 

Thirty minutes later and his mind is filled with Russian lingo. He’s listening to the sixth album and mouths a sentence in Russian, hovering over his laptop when a presence looms and a hand lands on his shoulder.

“JESUS!”

And he gets up so fast, headphones drop and chair falls back. His heart is thudding and he clutches his chest. He sees Steve trying not to laugh, looking fresh with wet hair as he rubs a small towel over it. He’s leaning on his cane.

Bucky inhales deeply. “The fuck are you trying to do Rogers? Kill me?”

“I called you out several times but I was able to hear the music from the hall. You trying to bleed your ears or something?”

“I was trying to zone out.” And he picks up the chair and slumps on it, rubbing his face. “Fuckin’ shit.”

Steve chuckles “Sorry.” As he looks over the screen, he grabs a chair to sit next to Bucky who looks at him bewildered.

“What are you doing?”

“Show me.”

“Show you what exactly?” Bucky asks, frowning.

Steve looks closely and points at his work on screen. Bucky nods but still doesn’t move. “Okay but let me first have my heart go back to beating regularly because it's almost gonna burst out of my chest.”

Steve huffs. “You exaggerate.” And then nonchalantly puts his hand on Bucky’s heart. Bucky freezes and stares at Steve who’s eyes widen.

“Oh my god Bucky. Fuck, I'm so sorry.”

And he takes his hand off and Bucky’s poor heart has another reason to beat madly.

“Relax.”

“Well, that’s what happens when you pull your spy shit on me.”

“For the last time Bucky, I wasn’t a spy. I was an agent.”

And Bucky smiles. Steve gets upset every time over that and he likes riling him up from time to time. “Whatever. Here, this is SDL Trados.”

“What is it?”

And Bucky clicks through. “It's uh...translation software. Basically, it provides all the tools needed to edit, manage my project, memories and terminology…like if there’s a similar work I’ve done before, it can pull it out. I'd already created several memories. I don't need to look up new equivalents. I can retrieve some phrases, terms instead of doing it all over again.”

“Wow.”

Bucky sits straight as he clicks on another document. “It’s not everything. I still do it the old way sometimes. Need to exercise my brain.”

“What’s the old way?” Steve asks, curious as he looks over at Bucky.

Bucky clears his throat. “Well, sometimes I’d print out the document, grab a pencil and a paper and a dictionary and go from there. Write down my translation. I just…like doing that sometimes. Very grounding.”

And Bucky lets his finger hover over the pad, closing some documents and minimizing others and it gets quiet. He turns and sees Steve looking at him, observing.

He laughs nervously. “What?”

“Hmm?”

“What is it? Something on my face?” Bucky scoots back.

“No, it’s just…you’re amazing. I think what you do is very noble.”

Bucky nods shyly and his eyes catches the time on the screen.

“Shit! Gotta go pick up Kyle. They're getting out early today.”

And he logs out, slams the laptop shut and gets up. Steve stands too and takes the cane as he turns around.

“You’re coming back right?” he asks, hesitant.

Bucky is at the door. “Yeah. I’m leaving my stuff. My lapt—“

“No. I mean. Bring Kyle over. I’ll order early dinner, late lunch whatever. Just bring him straight here.”

Bucky stands there; looking at him, trying to understand and Steve ducks his head then looks up. “I just miss the kid. Those days at the hospital…”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

Bucky gives him a salute and is out the door and running toward his own driveway to get the car.

 

Thirty minutes later and he’s back and he stops at Steve’s driveway. He sees that Steve is at the steps, cane aside. He waves at them.

Kyle gets out, running across the grass and skipping the steps as he throws his arms around Steve. “Oomph! Hi buddy.”

Bucky walks over, imprinting the image on his mind for an imaginary family photo album. 

“Easy Kyle. Watch out for Steve’s arm, okay?”

“Oh, sorry Stevie.” He stands between his legs.

Steve rubs his arm as he shakes his head. “I’m good. Your uncle is just making a big deal out of things.”

“Yeah, he always does that. Big deals, big words…” Kyle says as he hides behind Steve who’s laughing at Bucky’s shocked face.

“I thought you were on my team Kyle?”

He giggles as he hides behind Steve, arms around his neck. Steve puts his arm around his back to reach Kyle. “He’s secretly on my team. Face it Bucky.”

“What are you doing out here?”

“Uh…waiting for the pizza guy. And I wanted some fresh air.”

“Yes! Pizza.”

Steve stands and Bucky suddenly wants to run away. Can't handle what the image of Steve welcoming Kyle home did to him. Steve will never be a part of their family. Somehow down the road he’s gonna meet someone or Bucky will meet someone—unlikely—and this won’t happen again. Him waiting for them coming back from school.

“I’m gonna go take a walk through the park.”

Steve knit his brows. “Now?”

“But the food uncle Bucky?”

“I’ll be there. Come here and give me a kiss.”

After he gives him a peck on the cheek, he says, "Go wash your hands." And pats his behind as he runs inside.

Steve looks at him concerned. “You okay?”

Bucky can't help but lie. “Yeah…it’s just…all that translation. I need to clear my head a bit. So I can look at the document with new head space.”

“Okay. We’re not gonna eat till you get back. Don’t be late.”

“I won’t.”

He inhales deeply as he turns his back to Steve and walks hurriedly away. He puts his hands in his pockets and walks all the way to the park, head full of conflicted emotions. He's mentally constructing a plan for his stupid heart and how to deal with Steve Rogers from now on.

He can't distance himself from the guy. Aside from being helplessly in love with him, he truly enjoys his company. He's a friend. But mostly, Kyle is attached to him and Bucky goes where Kyle goes. When he reaches the park, he lies there on the cool grass and looks up at the clear sky, hands under his head.

All he has to do is just bury those feelings.

He inhales the fresh air and feels his heart clench at the thought of having it all. He could. Nat said he should do it. Just tell him.

"No fuckin' way." He laughs to himself.

If he tells him, he’s very sure he’s going to lose him. It’s going to be awkward and slowly they’d drift apart and…

“Nope!” And he sits up. He makes up his mind. He’ll love him but silently. No harm, no foul. As for the future, who knows? He might meet someone along the way…when he finally falls out of love with Steve.

He snickers and shakes his head. "Who am I kidding?"

 

Bucky walks back after half an hour spent alone. As he nears Steve’s, he finds Kyle playing on the front yard, catching the Frisbee Steve has apparently thrown to him.

“Uncle Bucky!” Kyle runs to hug him and Steve stands up, leaning on his cane.

Bucky kisses the top of his head. “Hey buddy. Sorry I was late.”

“No worries. Come on. Pizza is waiting.” And he runs back inside the house.

Bucky watches him go and then his eyes land on Steve. His neighbor is staring at him and then makes the effort to step down.

“Don’t. I’m coming up anyway.”

Steve laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck. Bucky notices that he’s holding something in his hand. A book.

“Here,” Steve says as he hands it to him. Bucky takes it and inspects it. Steve starts again, “I’ve been meaning to give it to you. I borrowed it from the library at the VA. It’s…uh…about the life of translators in the army.”

Bucky frowns and then looks up at Steve who continues. “Uh…I thought I’d read it to understand your life more--I mean your professional life…you know—and oh! I realized after reading it that there’s a difference between being a translator and being an interpreter. And sometimes those can’t be together. Like…” and he looks frustrated and Bucky couldn’t be more in love with him. “Like…if someone is a translator, it doesn’t mean he or she is an interpreter, you know? What am I saying? Of course you know—Anyway, I thought you’d enjoy the stories. I hope you've--“

“Steve.” Bucky stops him. Then he runs his hand through his hair and chuckles as he looks at the book and then up at Steve. “Jesus Christ, just when I thought…” And he stares at Steve. He can’t stop his heart from fluttering and expanding with love for this man. Just when he thought he could contain his love, he goes and pulls something like that.

“What?” Steve asks apprehensive.

Bucky shakes his head a bit and almost cries at his luck. But he remembers that he at least has him as a friend. “Just when I thought I’ve read all the books about us translators…” and he raises the book and smiles. “A book shows up. Thanks. I’ll read it tonight and give it back.”

Steve gives him a toothed smile. “Take your time. You won't be disappointed.”

Bucky stares at him for several seconds before breaking eye-contact and helping him up the steps. “Let's go. Pizza is waiting.”

When they go inside and Bucky closes the door, they turn and witness Kyle's state at the dinning table. Kyle's mouth is full of pizza and a string of cheese dangles from his lips and chin. Steve cackles and Bucky frowns at his kid.

Kyle smiles, shrugs then spreads his arms wide. "This is the BEST pizza ever and ever!"

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Oh you're in my veins...  
>  And I cannot get you out._
> 
> Andrew Belle's "In My Veins"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Hope you like it ;)  
> Sorry for the delay. Had to be out of town for a family visit. <3

 

 

“Hey, so I was thinking…” Bucky starts as he sips from his coffee mug and sits on the stool in the kitchen in front of Kyle early Saturday morning.

“Aha,” Kyle mutters as he sketches.

Bucky peeks and he’s sketching houses.

 

It’s been two months.

Bucky and Kyle continued helping out Steve by basically spending time with him. The art sessions became daily. Language lessons were whenever they had the time, namely because Steve didn’t want to trouble Bucky. His excuse was that Bucky needed to focus on his work since he himself was busy with the physical therapy sessions. Bucky refused and decided to make them at least twice a week.

Steve went to the hospital last week to remove the cast. Kyle insisted to accompany them and took pictures before and after the cast removal.

 

“Want to throw a surprise dinner party for Steve?”

Kyle perks up. “Oh? Why?”

“Well, he got his cast removed and he no longer uses the cane. We wanna celebrate that.” Somehow Bucky finds himself blushing in front of his little nephew.

_Pathetic._

Kyle, bless him, looks like he discovered a treasure. “Yes, yes! Uncle Bucky you have the BEST ideas ever and ever!”

He abandons his sketchbook as he focuses on Bucky. “Is it gonna be just us?”

Bucky sips again. “No, we’ll ask uncle Clint, aunt Nat and Nicole to come.”

“Yes!”

“Also, I’m gonna invite Sam.”

“Sam?” he looks confused.

“Yeah. He’s Steve’s best friend.”

Kyle picks up his pencil and resumes drawing. “He’s funny.”

Bucky chuckles. “He’s a nice guy too.”

“I like him. But I love Stevie more.” And Bucky’s hand freezes. He doesn’t get to take another sip. Kyle never declared love for another person except for himself and the Bartons.

“You love Steve?”

“Yup. So much. He’s amazing.”

“Why?” and Bucky doesn’t know why he wants him to keep talking.

“Well, one, he’s the BEST artist ever and ever! Two, he looks like a superhero. Three,” and he pauses as he counts on his fingers. “He’s so nice to me.”

Bucky just watches him as the kid smiles at him, happy that he shared that with his uncle. Bucky puts his mug down and walks from around the counter to hug his kid.

“Uncle Bucky…” he whines as he tries to wiggle his way out of his arms. Bucky kisses his head twice and mutters, “You’re the best kid ever and ever!”

Kyle giggles and pushes away from him. “Uncle Bucky, you don’t get to say that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.”

“No, I get to do it. It’s my …phrase?”

Bucky laughs. “Well, I’ll just say it in another language and you won’t even know.”

“Hey!” and he jumps on Bucky and they both topple to the ground in laughter.

 

***

 

They decide to throw the dinner party on the next Saturday when he can really guarantee that the Bartons would be available. When it's time, he’s got the dinner ready. Nat contributes by bringing in a Russian dish while Clint just roams around the kitchen trying to steal some slices of pizza. Bucky slaps him on the hand a few times. Nat solves the issue by hiding the pizza he had made and also the desert she had brought with her.

Sam shows up with a casserole his mom made. Bucky is grateful for all. When the table is set, he dashes to his room and changes into a clean t-shirt. He goes to them in the living room and sees Sam is in heavy discussion with Clint while Nat is sitting on the ground with Kyle and Nicole, playing rock-paper-scissors.

“All right guys. I’ll call him but please don’t make any noise.”

The kids giggle and are on their knees, forgetting Nat, as they watch Bucky make the phone call. He puts his finger to his lips indicating for them to keep silent and waits for Steve to pick up.

“Hey Bucky. What’s up?”

Bucky tells him that they need him for an extra art session. He agrees without question and doesn’t suspect a thing.

When he hangs up, he turns to the guests. “He bought it! He’s coming.”

Nat smirks, sits back and drapes her arm on Clint’s knees. “I think he would’ve come if you just told him so without giving a reason. He’s at your beck and call.”

Bucky turns red as he scowls at her and to his horror, Sam points her way. “She’s right. Totally agree.”

He opens his mouth to say something, any kind of retort but fails and he turns and runs to the kitchen. He just needs a moment. Was he that obvious?

Clint shows up few seconds later. “Hey.”

Bucky turns, horrified. “Am I that transparent Clint? Please tell me.”

Clint opens some cupboards, and checks the oven as he speaks. “Ever thought that maybe he was talking about Steve?”

He frowns. “I don’t understand.”

“Maybe he’s seeing something we don’t.” Clint huffs and puts his hands on his hips looking for something.

Bucky thinks for seconds but is distracted by what Clint is doing. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Looking for my wife’s dish.”

Bucky shakes his head and kicks him out as soon as Kyle and Nicole yell, “He’s here. Uncle Bucky, come on!”

He signs for them to get back a bit and the kids are holding between them the banner they painted on earlier. He turns off the lights and holds the door handle waiting for Steve to knock.

Steve knocks and Bucky smiles, giddy, and opens the door. As soon as Steve enters, they all yell, “Surprise!”

He jolts back a bit and looks around, letting out a breathless laugh. Bucky closes the door and pats him on the shoulder.

“What’s going on?” Steve asks laughing as the two kids run up to him, showing him the banner, the word ‘Congratulations’ painted on it.

He crouches and hugs the two kids after complimenting their artistic endeavor. When he gets up, Nat is there and she hugs him, gives him a kiss on the cheek. “This is a surprise dinner party for you in honor of getting rid of the cast and cane.”

“Oh,” Steve says softly. He looks like he’s about to cry. Then he clears his throat. “You shouldn’t have you guys.”

Sam comes over and hugs him, lifting him up in the process. The gesture makes the kids giggle. “You’re here too?”

“Yeah. In case you were wondering, I’m Bucky’s favorite right now.”

Steve raises his brow as he looks at Bucky. “Is that so?”

“Yup,” Sam answers back when Bucky stammers.

Clint comes and stands next to Nat who’s carrying Nicole on her hip now. “Oh, it’s all Bucky. I’m just here for the pizza.”

Bucky flushes when Steve turns to him. He’s looking at him strangely and Bucky thinks maybe he went too far with this dinner. He’s saved by Kyle who jumps up and down and stands next to Bucky. “I helped too.”

Steve’s face changes to show tenderness and love as he looks at the kid. “Thank you so much.” Kyle just puts his arms around Steve’s waist, hugging him.

“You shouldn’t have,” Steve says to Bucky as he lets his hand smooth Kyle’s blond hair.

Bucky shakes his head and claps Steve on the shoulder. “It’s nothing. Don’t get used to it though.”

Steve laughs and Bucky feels it as his hand travels to the center of his back. He pats him twice and steps away when Steve picks up Kyle who quickly wraps his arms around Steve’s neck.

“Thank you too for helping out.”

Kyle doesn’t say anything and gives Steve a loud kiss on the cheek. Bucky’s heart is full. Kyle has never done this with anyone and he’s not the only one looking surprised and touched. Steve and Nat look surprised too at the gesture.

Kyle then spreads his arms wide. “It’s gonna be the BEST dinner party ever and ever.”

Steve secures him in his arms. “Of course. No doubt about it if you two are behind it.”

“Come on Stevie. Put me down so we can go eat.”

And Steve puts him down, turns to say something to Bucky but doesn’t get to as he’s pulled away by the eager kid. Bucky smiles as he looks at them and his eyes land on Nat’s sad ones.

He doesn’t want to see pity or sympathy. He excuses himself as he goes to bring the wine. As he looks for the last glass, he feels someone is watching him. He turns around and it’s Steve.

Bucky smiles widely. “Hey, did they overwhelm you? They can be a bit…” and he trails off as Steve strides toward him and envelopes him in a big hug. He couldn’t put his hands around for they’re carrying the glasses.

Steve whispers, “Bucky, you’re…”

Bucky feels his face redden, and his heart is pounding. He doesn’t want this to get awkward. So, he chuckles nervously as he prompts, “What?” 

Steve sighs and tightens his arms around Bucky before pulling away, his face close to his. His blue eyes roam Bucky’s face and Bucky doesn’t want to look away. “You just … you didn’t have to, you know.”

“I know,” And Bucky finally looks away, puts the glasses on a tray and gets the bottle, all the while aware of Steve’s eyes on him. “Kyle and I love parties, okay. There! You got us.”

Steve looks conflicted but smiles anyway. “You can’t keep doing that Bucky. You’re very generous with me…”

“Don’t get into trouble and I’ll stop.” And he eyes his arm. “How is it by the way?”

Steve looks frustrated now. He seems to be struggling to get his words out but then sighs, relenting. “It’s good. Feels a bit different but in no time I’ll be doing push-ups.”

And he takes the bottle from Bucky as he carries the tray too. They head to the dinning table, the others already seated.

“I’m glad. But please no push-ups with kids on your back tonight, all right? Last thing I want—“

The doorbell rings surprising Bucky more than any of the others. Steve notices. “You expecting someone?”

“No.”

Bucky heads to the door, and Steve puts the tray away before following Bucky. When he opens the door, he’s flabbergasted.

“Ma!”

“Bucky, sweetheart!” and Mama Barnes rushes to him, giving him a bear hug. He staggers a bit as millions of questions crowd his head.

“Wait…what’s wrong? Why are you here?” He asks as he holds her shoulders.

She scoffs. “Can’t I see you whenever?”

He narrows his eyes. “No, because that’s not you ma.”

Then she pushes past him and takes Steve’s face in her hands, squishing it. Bucky would’ve laughed any other time, but he can’t help feeling suspicious about his mother’s sudden visit.

“Ah… you _poor thing_. I just heard from Nat…So sorry about your…” and she looks him over and Steve turns red at her inspection. “Well, you look well.”

"Um… I'm okay now, ma'am." And he ducks his head, ears red. Bucky is on pins and needles.

"Can you do those push-ups now?" Mama Barnes asks, still inspecting him.

"Uh..."

Bucky interjects, "Ma, this way please." And he drags her away from Steve and she looks at Bucky innocently. He stops at the closet and takes her coat, all the while trying not to blow up.

"Nat told you?"

"Relax sweetheart. She said you're throwing a party for Steve and then she filled me in because you, mister, forgot to tell me what happened to your neighbor."

And he's about to utter some sort of retort when Kyle comes running toward her. "Grandma! You're here!" And she picks him up.

He kisses all over her face and she laughs as she walks toward the dining room where everyone is. Bucky wants to stay mad but the way Kyle is happy to see her makes it okay.

He sighs and then his eyes land on Nat. He points toward the kitchen and she rolls her eyes and follows. He leaves the rest greeting his mom while he seethes as he stands in the kitchen, Nat in front of him.

He’s appalled that his ma might know about his love confession. It’s the last thing he needs right now. He knows his ma. To say she’s a meddler is an understatement.

He hisses, "You told ma didn't you?"

She puts her hands on her hips. "I didn't tell her _anything_."

"Don't lie to me."

"I was just chatting with her and mentioned your party and invited her. Jesus! I thought you'd be happy to see her."

He wants to strangle her. "I know your tricks Nat. I don't want my mom to know anything about ...what I told you and Clint."

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Why, huh? What would be so bad about her knowing? I thought it’d be good for you to talk to her—“

“Oh my God, you _did_ tell her about that, didn’t you?” And he grips his hair in frustration. And turns around so he won’t see her or else he’d lash out.

“Believe what you want James but know this. Her coming here is gonna be good for you. Trust me on this.”

“Well, I’m having a hard time trusting you now after what you just pulled.” He looks her way and he regrets saying that but she made him do it.

She purses her lips and stares him down. “I don’t have time to be upset with you. Let’s go back out there. After all, isn’t this all for him?”

And she leaves, her heels loud in his kitchen. He grips the counter and breathes deeply. “Damn it Nat!”

 

***

 

The dinner party is a success. Bucky is able to fake forget what Nat pulled and enjoy his mom’s company. All the time his Ma hogs Steve, telling him everything about her life in New York and embarrasses Bucky by telling some funny stories about his childhood. Steve seems genuinely interested and regards his mother with the utmost respect and warmth and Bucky falls a bit more in love with him.

Bucky squirms when she starts singing his praises about the time he won that scholarship because Steve would look up and smile his way. He looks away and tries to stop his Ma.

No avail.

 

He avoids Nat and when they're about to leave, she comes and hugs him tight, whispering, “I know you hate my guts now, but I refuse for us to part ways upset with each other.”

He doesn’t hug her back and she pulls away fast and leaves.

Sam leaves next and Mama Barnes declares her love for him which makes him beam to no end. “If I weren’t engaged ma’am, I’d certainly ask Bucky here for your hand.”

“Oookay. NO.” Bucky shudders as he pushes Sam away from his mom. Steve comes and puts his arm around Bucky’s shoulders. He brings him closer to him, whispering, “He used to do that to Peggy, can you believe it?”

Bucky’s eyes widen as he looks Steve’s way, who happens to be so close to his face. Steve’s laughing eyes look back at him. “Yup. But good thing Peggy never fell for his charm.”

Bucky doesn’t know what to say, and falters as Sam claps him on the shoulder. “Yeah Bucky. You’re lucky that I’m betrothed.”

“I honestly don’t know what’s going on right now.”

Mama Barnes laughs as she gives Sam a kiss on both cheeks and bids him goodnight.

Kyle had already gone to bed, tired of all the hype.

“I should get going too,” Steve announces and moves from Bucky’s side. Bucky feels cold already.

“Already?” He hears himself say.

His ma gives him a look and Steve smiles. “I’ve imposed too much on you guys. I’ll see you tomorrow for the lessons. I did my homework this time. I swear Bucky.”

Bucky chuckles. “Okay. Same time then.”

Steve turns to Mama Barnes and kisses her hand. “It’s always a pleasure to see you.”

“Likewise hon. You be careful now.”

“I will.”

And he turns and seems to hesitate but hugs Bucky tight before quickly dashing out the door without saying anything else.

 

***

 

After Bucky finishes cleaning up and checks on Kyle, he goes to find his mom looking through Kyle’s sketchbook in the living room. He knows he can’t keep it in anymore and she won’t so he decides to just go ahead and confront her.

“Ma, why did you really come here?”

She looks up and smiles. He sighs and comes to stand before her. “As much as I appreciate you being here, I know there’s something you want to talk to me about. And I love you to death ma, but why tonight?”

She puts the sketchbook aside, brows furrowed. “I don’t know what you mean Bucky but Nat told me about the party and I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone. To see you and Kyle and enjoy a dinner with the others. Nothing strange about that.”

He pinches the area between his eyes. “Ma please, don’t beat around the bush. Nat told you, didn’t she?” His heart is beating madly as he awaits the inevitable.

“What in God’s name are you talking about?” she asks as she straightens her posture.

He bites his lower lip as he avoids looking her way. “Ma, I’m not stupid. She told you that I’m in love with Steve.”

When he doesn’t hear anything from her, he looks her way. His mother’s face has changed and the smile has vanished and he freezes. Nat didn’t tell her. She was telling him the truth.

_Shit!_

“You’re what?” His ma whispers.

He covers his face and wishes the earth would open up and swallow him. “Oh my god. I fell for it.”

“Bucky…” And she gets up and walks toward him but he puts his hands up. He’s very embarrassed.

His throat closes up as he looks at his mother, scared. He just blew everything up. She shakes her head as a smile decorates her face. “Oh my God, this is such good news. Honey--”

“Ma, oh my God.” And he covers his face again but she comes and hugs him anyway. She then pulls his hands away from his face. He sees the way she looks at him and he gets teary-eyed.

“It’s not good news ma.”

She puts some hair strands behind his ears. “Why?”

He looks away and takes a shaky breath. She speaks softly, “If you think he doesn’t feel the same—“

“He doesn’t swing my way ma. What more do I need to know.”

“Well, are you sure?”

He rolls his eyes. “Not you too.”

She opens her mouth to say something but then thinks better as she goes back to sit on the couch. He watches her, confused. She pats her lap and the space next to her.

“Come on.”

He used to lay his head on her lap whenever he was scared or upset when he was young. It used to be the best solution to all his problems.

“I’m not a kid anymore ma.”

Yet he finds himself gravitating toward her. The love and warmth coming from her in waves overwhelms him.

“Just come ‘ere James.”

She never calls him that unless she’s serious. He drags his feet and lays his head on her lap. He closes his eyes as soon as she runs her gentle fingers through his hair. He tries to keep it together but finds himself gasping and letting the tears fall.

“There, there sweetie.”

He lets out a soft whimper. “I’m…I’m so tired ma.”

She kisses his head softly. “I know baby.”

And he turns and hugs her middle and has a good cry. He doesn’t know how long he stayed like that. He feels like he’s somehow lighter now, so he turns on his other side and stares at the TV.

“Tell me about Steve.”

Bucky lets out a long breath. “He’s… I’m so crazy about him ma. So crazy.”

“Yeah…why?”

He waves his left hand around. “I could write a book. Where to start…He’s kind, generous, and so nice to Kyle.” Then he sits up and crosses his legs. He remembers what Kyle has told him last week. “Kyle told me he loves him.”

He looks at his ma for her reaction and she just smiles knowingly. “Okay. Watching my grandkid tonight proves it. He loves that kid as well.”

“Yeah,” he breathes.

They sit there, next to each other, quiet, her hand in his. Then after around ten minutes, she turns to him. “Why won’t you tell him?”

He shakes his head forcefully. “No, no way. I won’t risk it.”

“Don’t you think it’s better than ‘what if’?”

“The stakes are higher if I do.”

“I’m not gonna pressure you or nag ‘cause you’re a big boy but…”

And he closes his eyes when she cups his cheeks. “I think you won’t risk anything because he’s a decent man. He won’t treat you differently if it were to go south. But at the same time, I think…no, I believe he has feelings for you.”

He looks away as he plays with the band of his watch. “No, he doesn’t.”

“You didn’t see him tonight.”

Bucky certainly doesn’t want to indulge in that. “Even if you were right ma, I wouldn’t…I wouldn't want it to be me who speaks first. I don’t wanna alienate him. Either he talks or I’ll just keep quiet and forever hold my peace.”

“Bucky…”

He turns to her, tears in his eyes. “Please ma. This is my decision and I’ve come to it after a lot of thinking.”

She kisses his forehead. “Do what makes you comfortable but know this. It hurts me to see you like this, ever the selfless kind. I want you to understand, since you’re a parent yourself, how hard it is to see you hurting and me not being able to do anything.”

His mother’s eyes are brimming with tears and he can’t help but smile sadly. He hugs her tightly after he kisses her forehead. The last thing he wants is to burden his mother with his love life, or lack thereof. “I’ll be fine ma. Don’t worry about me.”

“I just want you to be happy sweetheart," she says in a broken voice.

He hugs her tightly and mutters, “Love you ma.”

“Love you more.”

 

***

 

A week later and Bucky is doing some readings. He has submitted the latest translation and has no intention of taking a new client at the moment. He wants to read more in his field. So he ends up going to the public library after dropping Kyle at school and borrowing several books on translation.

He’s just starting one of them about the theory of translation when the doorbell rings. He groans and drags his feet, book in hand, finger on the page.

He smiles though as soon as he sees Steve at the door. “Hey.”

“Hey. Busy?” Steve asks, sounding a bit too excited.

“Uh,” and he raises the book in his hand. “Just doing some readings.”

“I was wondering if…I mean…I liked that organic fruit store and I’m heading there. I thought I’d ask if you wanted to join me.”

He didn’t see that coming and blurts, “But don’t you have work?”

Steve’s face flushes. “Uh, I have the day off.”

“Oh.”

Apparently Bucky’s quiet for longer than appropriate and Steve gets this worried look on his face. “I mean…I just thought you’d want to shop too. I can get—“

“No, it’s okay. I’d love to. Let me just get my car keys.”

“Uh, no. I was thinking I’d take the bike.”

“Oh…okay.”

“Ever ridden one?” Steve raises his brow in amusement.

 _Wait, he wants me to what now?_ Bucky thinks.

He clears his throat. “Oh, you want me to…”

“Yeah.”

Bucky wants to get out of this. He can’t just ride with him. It’s a recipe for disaster to his poor heart. He finds an excuse. “I don’t have a helmet.”

And Steve produces one from behind his back. “Here,” and he hands it to him. “Got a spare one.”

Bucky gulps and takes it. “I’ve actually never ridden a bike before.”

Steve smiles widely. “Great. Now is your chance. I’ll go get the bike while you get ready.”

And he doesn’t wait for Bucky as he runs back to his house. The last thing he wants is to be practically plastered to Steve’s back. It’s a long drive. The weather is amazing but he doesn’t trust himself.

But Steve looks excited and Bucky can’t let that face down.

He goes back inside, changes into jeans and a t-shirt and wears his leather jacket. As much as the weather is nice, the wind is mildly strong. He then hears the rumble of the bike and gets out and almost moans at the sight. The way Steve’s sitting there, waiting for him is what’s gonna haunt him tonight.

"You're not scared are ya Barnes?" Steve smirks and Bucky punches his shoulder lightly after he walks up to him.

"Bring it on Rogers."

Steve revs up the engine and waits for Bucky. Bucky inhales deeply and then puts on the helmet. He slides behind him and puts his hands on his shoulders. He’s never been this close to Steve where he can actually feel his muscles flexing, and feel the warmth of him.

 _Yup, wet dreams tonight_ , he thinks.

The engine rumbles and they're off. And Bucky's heart is thundering of how close he is to him and he finds himself gripping Steve’s shoulders tightly. When they stop at a stoplight, he feels Steve's hand grip his hand and guides hit toward his waist, winding Bucky’s arm around his middle. Bucky is thankful Steve can’t see him now. He holds his breath and lets his arms go limp before Steve tightens his hold on both hands, forcing Bucky to grasp them together. Why would he want him to do that? He’s that comfortable with him?

They take off again and Bucky lets himself forget for a while, tightens his arms around Steve’s waist, and leans over to feel Steve’s strong back against his chest. He wishes that there were no helmets so he could bury his face in the nape of his neck and smell him. He feels a rush of warmth and love for the man that he tightens his arms again and inhales deeply as he feels Steve’s back moves in tandem with his chest.

It’s gets more relaxing after a while since Bucky forgot about everything. When they reach their destination, they stop and Steve waits for Bucky to get off the bike first before he does too. Steve looks eager for Bucky’s opinion.

Bucky laughs. “Yes, Steve. But not to the point I’d buy one.”

Steve gives him the puppy look and he laughs at him. They make their way inside, each grabbing a small basket. What’s different about it this time is that they’re literally shopping together and Bucky can’t stop smiling. He’d help out Steve with his choices and Steve lets him.

 

Ten minutes later and Bucky remembers the strawberries; Kyle’s favorite. So he goes to that aisle alone and takes some. As he finishes filling his basket with them, he goes back to where he left Steve and freezes in his spot behind the apple bushels.

Steve is in the other aisle laughing with a young woman. Bucky notices how pretty she is and she’s touching Steve on the shoulder and cackling. Steve’s hand is on her waist and seems to be blushing. He smiles her way and seems to be enjoying a conversation with her.

Bucky feels like being stabbed in the back. He knows he’s being ridiculous. It could be just an innocent encounter. Nonetheless, Bucky turns around and heads to the cashier. He pays for his produce and leaves the store. All the while he’s trying to breathe regularly. He can’t help but think that this may be what the future would hold. Steve will eventually find someone. Someone who Steve would shower with love and support.

Bucky feels sad and angry at the same time. What right he has to feel this way? Nothing. But it still hurt.

Yet, he feels betrayed which is stupid. Steve hasn’t done anything and it’s his own fault for being too deep into this. For being in love with a man who’s not gonna love him back.

Somehow, he feels angry again as he waits near the bike. He tries to forget about it and loosen up a bit, but he’s pissed. _How could this woman just make a move on him? Then again, did she? Or did Steve?_ He thinks.

Then he feels angry at Steve. How could he do this? How could Steve just be interested in a random stranger?

“Oh my God, shut up Barnes,” he mutters to himself.

He feels so small and useless and invisible all of a sudden but what surprises him is how still angry he is. Then on impulse, and out of sheer stupidity and childishness, he gets his phone out and sends a text to Clint.

 

**_Set me up with that nurse._ **

 

And as soon as he sends it, he regrets it. _What am I doing? Oh God…_

And he proceeds to send another one when Clint sends him a reply.

 

**_Done_ **

 

Bucky almost wants to throw his phone away and groans as he covers his face.

“What’s wrong?”

He jerks back, dropping one of his bags in the process.

“Woah, easy Bucky.” And Steve picks up the bag. “Where were you? I looked for you.”

Bucky takes his bag; making sure his hands don’t touch Steve’s. “Um…I had to make a phone call.”

There he goes lying again and he hates it. He avoids Steve’s searching eyes and holds on to his bags for dear life.

“You okay?” and Steve touches his shoulder. And Bucky forgets all the anger he was feeling seconds ago just from a touch. _Pathetic! Helpless!_

“Um, yeah.” And he remembers how Steve was eager and excited this morning and doesn’t want to upset him or disappoint him so he lifts his head up, a fake smile on his face.

He’s rewarded with that heart-warming smile and he feels sad. He’ll miss that smile when Steve gets involved with someone eventually.

Bucky keeps his act up and gets on the bike behind him. At first he’s determined after that reality check to just hold on to his shoulders. Then as they drive away, his heart beat fast at the thought of losing Steve to someone and very soon. So, he slumps foreword, clinging to him, arms tight around him. He allows himself to enjoy that closeness one last time.

 

***

 

“So, this Saturday.”

Bucky groans as he pours himself coffee. He holds the phone with his shoulder as he adds milk to it. “Please Clint. Isn’t there a way you could cancel for me?”

“No, Bucky. The guy is excited. I’m not gonna do that. Plus, come on man. This is good for you. One step at a time.”

He rubs his eyes and sits on the stool in the kitchen. He’s very glad he’s having this conversation while Kyle is in school. “Please Clint. I was just…confused and angry. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I acted rashly and I take it back.”

“You can’t take that back Bucky. It’s done. The guy is probably planning what he’s gonna wear right about now.”

“Damn it.” Bucky hates himself by the second. So, he looks for another excuse. “I can’t leave Kyle.”

“Oh my God, you’re just grasping for excuses. I have a late shift that Saturday. Nat will look after him.”

He laughs but there’s no humor in it. He hasn’t spoken to Nat after the party even though she keeps texting him random stuff as if nothing had happened. As if she hasn’t crossed lines by inviting his mom to the party. It’s true that Nat didn’t tell his mom but he walked right into her trap. She mind-played him until he confessed to his mother willingly.

“You’re gonna have to tell her that though Clint.”

“All right. So, you’re going, right? Just wanna make sure. Don’t wanna be hated by one of my top nurses.”

Bucky lets out a long breath. _What’s the worst that could happen?_ He thinks. Plus, it’s probably for the best. He reminds himself of the woman who was clearly flirting with Steve and considers that image an incentive. A motivation to just move on.

“Fine, I’ll go. Don’t give him my number though. I’ll kill ya. Just send me when and where.”

“Okay. Done.”

“God, I hate myself. Just letting you know now that it’s just gonna be that. My first and last date.”

“Bucky. We’re not asking you to marry him all right? Just consider it a night out with a friend. Also, I know the guy. He’s nice.”

“Whatever.”

 

***

 

As he expected, after putting Kyle to bed that night, his doorbell rings. He doesn't need to guess who’s behind the door.

"Hey Nat."

She doesn’t even look at him as she strides to the dinning table and throws her bag on it. And from the looks of it, she just got back from work.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing James?"

He sighs and ignores her as he goes to the kitchen. She follows him there. "Isn't that what you guys wanted? For me to have a night out?"

"That was before you fell in love with Steve."

He snickers as he pours himself a cup of coffee and gets another one for her. "It’s just one date, which I guarantee I’m not gonna enjoy if that makes you feel better."

She huffs as she puts her hands on her waist. "You know what you're gonna enjoy? A life with Steve Rogers."

He puts his mug hard on the marble counter and coffee spills. "Stop it! Stop hurting me with these delusions."

He turns to her and to his shock, her eyes are watering.

Her voice quivers as she speaks. "Why can't you see James? It's right there in front of your eyes."

His shoulders sag, and throws his arms in the air helplessly. "I'm not gonna be the one who's gonna ruin what I already have with him. What Kyle has with him. I’m not selfish Nat."

She walks up to him and points her finger at him. "That's the problem right there. _Right there!_ Be selfish! Be selfish for once in your life."

And a tear falls down her face and Bucky deflates. His hands come up to hold her shoulders. "You okay? You sure my love life is what's bothering you now?"

She slaps his hands away and brushes the tear angrily. "Don't try changing the subject James."

He sighs and holds her hands in his. "I'm tired Nat. Tired of this whole thing and... I'm gonna leave it up to fate--"

"Oh my God!" she lets out a wet laugh.

"Hear me out. I...I'd rather move on before I see him with someone...I don't think I'll handle it well. The thought alone scares the shit out of me."

"You’re just..." And she squeezes his hands.

"If it makes you feel better, I tried to get out of it but Clint insisted."

"Oh, you leave my dear husband to me."

"I was the one who asked. Don't blame him. Plus, it's probably my last date. I have no intention of carrying it out."

"What if you end up liking it? What if you end up liking the guy?"

He smiles sadly as he brushes another tear streaming down her face. "Not possible. My heart isn't mine to give anymore. It's already been taken."

She shakes her head at him. “You’re a sap.” And then throws her arms around him, hugging him with all her might. She sniffles. "I hate you."

He smiles sadly. "Love you too."

"What about Kyle?" She asks, her head still on his shoulders.

"Clint didn’t tell you?”

She shook her head.

“I was hoping you'd look after him. I'll make sure I come back early."

"Okay. I already feel bad for the guy by the way."

"Me too. That’s why I wanna cancel…but like Clint said, consider it a night out with a friend. Hey, I might end up having a new friend.”

 

***

 

It’s Saturday and Bucky’s pacing. Nat isn’t here yet. And he looks at the living room to see Kyle sitting there eating strawberries while watching TV.

He dials Nat’s.

"Where the _hell_ are you? I'm already late."

"So sorry but I'm stuck at work and having so many client meetings. Can't make it honey."

And he freaks out. "What?! What am I gonna do now?"

A loud sigh reaches him. "Have you tried my husband?"

"He's at the hospital and you know that since Nicole is with you. He has a late shift."

Nat speaks to someone next to her and Bucky hears a legal monologue and gets lost for a second. When Nat gets in the zone, there’s no coming back. He sighs and rubs his eyes. "I guess I'll have to reschedule."

"James. I can't believe I'm gonna say this but don't. Let me see and get back to ya."

She hangs up on him and he looks at his cell phone. _Weird_ , he thinks. He peeks again at Kyle and the kid is in his own bubble. Bucky still hasn’t talked to him about where he’s going tonight. He wants to make sure first that he’s gonna be able to leave for the date.

So, he goes back to the kitchen when his phone rings. It’s Clint. "Are you ditching him already because if you are--"

"No, no. But I can't find anyone to look after Kyle. Nat is stuck at work. Can you apologize for me--"

"Nope! No way. The guy is already there and he's been nervous as hell."

Bucky feels like crap. Why did he get himself into this mess in the first place? Right. Steve Rogers. "Shit!"

"Let me know all right Bucky." And he hangs up.

Bucky wants to pull out his hair when a message comes from Nat.

_Let Steve babysit for you ;)  
_

He feels dread as he reads it. He never thought of that. And has not intention of doing so.

So he calls her up and she picks up after two rings. “What?”

“Are you out of your mind?” He almost screams it.

“Actually, I think I’m very sound right now. Aren’t you eager to move on?”

“Yes, but not…I…”

“What? This is for the best. Trust me.”

He sighs and rubs his face. “I’ll cancel, Nat. I can’t.”

“No! You will get your ass there to that date and—hold on, yeah…what do you mean you don’t have the papers? Urgh—James I gotta go.”

And he looks at his phone and almost throws it across the kitchen. This is what he gets for being childish and sending that text in the first place. He takes deep breaths and then looks at Steve’s house through the window. He seems to be there.

Somehow, that image of that blond girl comes to him and Steve’s hand on her waist and he feels the fury again and dials Steve’s.

“Hey,” Steve’s warm voice reaches him.

“Hi, you’re not busy are you?” Bucky’s heart is beating so fast he fears he’ll pass out.

“No, not at all. What’s up?”

“I…uh…need a favor.”

He hears rustling of papers or books, he isn’t sure. “Name it.”

And Bucky’s heart flutters and curses inwardly at it. This date is a good idea. He needs to get his act together.

“Can you look after Kyle for me…I gotta—“

“Of course. When?”

“Um now. Nat got held up so…”

“I’ll be there. Give me five.”

Steve hangs up. And Bucky exhales loudly. _This is okay. I’m gonna be fine. It’s gonna be great._

He goes to the living room and finds Kyle invested in a cartoon show. “Hey buddy?”

“Yeah?” and he glances his way for seconds before looking back at the TV.

Bucky sits next to him, and kisses his head. “I’m gonna go out to meet a friend. Steve is gonna keep you company. You okay with that?”

Kyle breaks into a smile and forgets the TV. “Stevie is coming?”

Bucky smiles. He’s acting like he hasn’t seen him in a while. And he’d actually seen him two days ago. Kyle doesn’t wait for Bucky and runs to his room.

“Where you going?” and he follows him.

“Gonna bring my sketchbooks. I wanna show him some stuff.”

Bucky stands at the door of his room, watching the kid pull out the many sketchbooks he has so far. He’s smiling until the doorbell rings.

He leaves his nephew and heads to open the door.

"Hey," Bucky greets.

"Hey, you."

Kyle comes running and Steve picks him up. "Oh, hey buddy."

And Kyle gives him a big kiss which makes Steve chuckle and makes Bucky yearn. He inhales deeply and smiles as Kyle holds Steve’s face in his hands.

"Got some new drawings to show you Stevie."

"Already? Okay, go set up."

Steve puts him down and Kyle runs off toward the dinning room and back to his room, leaving the adults laughing.

Bucky closes the door. "Thanks for doing this on such short notice."

"Are you kidding me? Any excuse to hang out with that kid." Then he smiles, hands on hips. Bucky notices that he has the leather-bound sketchbook he had gifted him. "So, what's up? Where you going at this sorta late hour?"

Bucky doesn't know why he's hesitant and apprehensive to tell him. He averts his eyes. "I...I'm going on a date."

And he looks up to see Steve looking at him, puzzled. "A date?"

"Yeah."

When Steve looks at him bewildered, he fidgets and walks to the kitchen with Steve hot on his heels. "Since when...I mean...I didn't know you were dating."

And Bucky pulls out a beer and gulps half of it out of nervousness. He turns to him. "I’m not. This is my first."

Steve is frowning and looking more upset and Bucky, for the life of him, doesn’t know why.

"Do you know the guy?" Steve's tone is clipped.

"No, I even forgot his name."

"What the hell?"

Bucky raises his hand. "It's a blind date. Clint set me up and I just said yes."

Steve nods, still frowning. "But why? How?”

All of a sudden, Bucky feels irritated. Steve seems to be surprised that he can land a date. “Jeez. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Steve puts one hand up. “No, no. That’s not what I meant. I just…” And he runs his hand through his hair. “I thought you weren't in a hurry. _You_ said you weren’t in a hurry to date."

Bucky takes another gulp. "Well--"

"I'm ready Stevie," Kyle announces and pulls on Steve’s hand who’s still staring at Bucky, puzzled.

 _Is it that hard to imagine him being a catch?_ Bucky ponders.

“Um…Okay.” And he looks like he wants to say something else. Like he isn’t finished yet. Like they’re not finished yet with this conversation.

Bucky puts the beer away and dashes to his room to change. He doesn’t have time to analyze Steve’s odd reaction. He’s already late and he wants to be done with the whole thing. It’s like a heavy thing on his chest.

He wears his skinny black jeans and dark green t-shirt with his black leather jacket. He’s gotta look at least presentable. And it’s been so long since he pampered himself. He doesn’t forget to wear the necklace Clint and Nat gave him. He needs that letter ‘K’ with him. It’s gonna be his first time away from Kyle.

He wears his hair in a messy bun and wears his old combat boots. He then gets out and looks at the time. It’s 9:00 already and it’s way too late. Hopefully the guy won’t think he’s a jerk.

He grabs his keys and stops by the dinning table to say goodbye one more time to Kyle.

“Hey, so I’m heading out,” he starts and the two people look up.

“Wow uncle Bucky! You look nice,” Kyle says and gets up to hug him.

Bucky smiles and hugs him back, all the while hyper aware of Steve staring at them. More specifically his way. He kisses Kyle’s head and ushers him to go back and sit with Steve. “I’ll be back before you know it buddy.”

“Okay.” And he goes back to sketching. Bucky is grateful he's normal about it.

“Bucky, can I talk to you for a second?” And Steve gets up and heads to the kitchen after giving Kyle some instructions on his drawing. Bucky follows him and keeps looking at his watch. He should really go.

“What is it?”

Steve whips around, making Bucky stagger back. “Are you sure about this?”

Bucky chuckles nervously. “I’m not marrying him Steve.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just…you were the one who said it should be someone worthy. Why on _earth_ are you going on a blind date?”

And Bucky gets defensive. “You were the one who said I should get out there. This is _me_ getting out there.”

Steve huffs, running his hand through his hair. “Yeah, well, not like this.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint.”

And Bucky leaves the kitchen when Steve has nothing left to say. He’s almost out the door and suddenly it dawns on him that maybe Steve doesn’t want him to go because he…

He hyperventilates as he turns and goes back to finds Steve still leaning over the counter, hands pressing there.

“Steve?”

Steve looks up, surprised that Bucky’s back.

Bucky doesn’t know how to communicate it. Doesn’t know how to say it. But he needs to know. Is Steve really interested in him?

So he chooses to ask indirectly, to know if Steve has feelings for him or not.

“Is … there anything… you wanna tell me… before I go?”

Steve stands straight and softly asks, “What?”

Bucky’s heart is beating madly and he feels his ears are ringing and he’s pretty sure his face is red or pale. It won’t matter after this. "Is there...anything you wanna tell me? Anything at all?"

Steve looks at him for few seconds, opens his mouth but is lost. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away.

Bucky purses his lips, nods his head twice and then turns around leaving, not looking back once.

He gets into his car and curses this night and curses the time he sent that text message to Clint. His breath shakes as he realized that he just put himself out there. Steve isn't stupid. He must've felt his desperation.

"Oh god..."

And he revs up the engine and drives off.  
  


***  
  


"And then Dr. Barton tried to stop the mother but she actually stepped on his foot."

And the guy--David is his name--laughs and Bucky smiles. The guy is nice, and acted very nervous when Bucky showed up, going red and all. Bucky feels like crap for using him to move on which is fruitless. David is interesting and he’s been sharing interesting stories but Bucky has no strength to keep up with this. He’s so lost in his conflicted emotions that he blurts right in the middle of the guy’s story.

"I can't do this. I'm sorry."

David stops talking and is like a deer caught in a headlight. "Umm sorry?"

Bucky scratches his head and feels his face redden. "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this," and waves his hand around and lets out a nervous chuckle. "But I can't and it's really not fair to you and I'm sorry but… I'm in love with someone."

David puts his hands on the table. “Oh. Well, this sucks.”

Bucky groans and covers his face. “I know. I’m sorry. I just thought with me going out, it would help me sort of...move on or get him outta my head…”

He sighs. “I’m not gonna ask and I’m gonna respect whatever it is you’re going through but _my God_ we’re gonna eat ‘cause I’ve already ordered. You can at least share a meal with me. I’ll take anything. Friendship is fine by me.”

Bucky looks up and finds him smiling timidly. Clint was right. This guy is nice. Nicer than Bucky deserves.

“Okay. But I’m paying.”

 

***

 

Bucky leaves but doesn’t head home. He feels his chest is tight. He goes and parks his car and walks all through the area near the Washington monument. He breathes the fresh air and then sits on one of the benches. He pulls out his phone and there isn’t any messages or missed calls from Steve. It’s a good thing. It means Kyle is doing fine.

Then he looks at the time and it’s eleven. He thinks about this pathetic night and feels his eyes tear up. One tear falls but he wipes it away and sniffles.

Thirty minutes later of sitting there just trying to clear his head and his heart, he walks back to his car and drives home.

  

***

 

As he opens the door to the house, he senses the quiet atmosphere and knows immediately that Kyle has went to sleep. He closes it silently and glimpses the figure lying on the sofa, sketchbook on his knees.

“Hey.”

Steve quickly sits up and closes the sketchbook. “Hey.”

Bucky walks up to stand in the middle of the room, keys in hand. He’s fidgeting and doesn’t know what to say. “Kyle asleep?”

Steve rubs his face and rakes his hand through his hair. “Yeah. He was waiting for you. But I told him that you might be late. He went to sleep fifteen minutes ago.”

He’s watching Bucky with calculating eyes and Bucky doesn’t know how to deal with this Steve. He feels his eyes are scrutinizing and it’s making him nervous.

Bucky looks at the keys in his hands. “This is the first time ever that I don't tuck him in.”

And he tries not to tear up. He’s been acting rash these past few days, delving into the dating scene simply because he was insecure, jealous, and childish. Doesn’t wanna see Steve dating before him. He ends up forgetting about how Kyle is gonna feel about it.

“Hey,” Steve mutters softly.

Bucky looks up to that warm smile but doesn’t say anything. Steve walks up to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. It’s bound to happen.”

Bucky doesn’t like the sound of that and it must’ve appeared on his face for Steve steps back. “Uh…I mean since you’re going on dates now…I mean…you’re going out with this guy again, right?”

And Bucky decides to fight back by lying through his teeth. “Yeah. He turned out to be a great guy.”

Steve stares at him and Bucky can’t handle that searching gaze again. Before he looks away, Steve clears his throat and walks past him to the door. “Good night.”

“Night and thanks.” He turns and sees Steve stand by the door. He turns to him and smiles.

“Sure. Anytime.”

And he’s out, closing the door softly leaving Bucky there, feeling so wound up. He almost screams into his surroundings but sighs instead and goes to turn off the lamps in the living room. He turns off the TV and throws his keys on the table next to the door. He’s about to head to his room when there’s an urgent knocking on his door. Very loud persistent knocking.

He strides there and opens it only to be met with Steve panting. “Steve? You okay?”

He looks at Bucky, gulps and then says, “Don’t.”

“What?”

Steve’s eyes are looking everywhere and then he barges in, making Bucky barely able to step aside. He frowns and then closes the door behind him.

“Don’t Bucky,” Steve pleads softly.

Bucky, for the life of him doesn’t know what he’s talking about. “What are you talking about Steve?”

Steve looks at him for few seconds before saying, “Don’t go out with him again. Don’t, please.”

Bucky’s heart thuds in his chest, ears ringing and he feels his face burn. Could Steve be…no. He opens his mouth to say something but Bucky freezes. Steve can’t be…Unless…

Bucky chuckles humorlessly. “Oh God. You looked him up didn’t ya? You pulled your spy stuff on me.”

Steve shakes his head, looking bewildered. “Wait, what? No, Bucky—“

“Did Nat give you his name? What—“

And Steve strides toward him and holds him a bit too strongly by the shoulders. “Bucky, no! I didn’t. I don’t even know his name.”

It takes Bucky a moment to process that. “Wait…then why?”

Steve breathes sharply and searches Bucky’s face like the answer is there. Bucky gulps. “Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you want me to go out with him again?” He asks softly, very aware of Steve’s hands squeezing his upper arms.

Steve stares at him before he slides his hands and takes Bucky’s hands in his, holding them tightly. He takes a deep breath. “When I lost Peggy…We weren’t on speaking terms. And that’s what made me miserable after. The fact that I kept silent. And …I don’t wanna be silent anymore. If Peggy’s death taught me anything, it’s that I should voice it.”

Bucky is holding his breath and he’s very glad that the door is behind him. He takes a step back, leaning on it. He feels dizzy.

“Voice what?”

Steve lets out a nervous chuckle and squeezes his hands twice. Bucky watches him as he closes his eyes for seconds, takes a deep breath and then opens them again.

“Bucky. I want you to hear me out, okay?”

Bucky is only able to nod for his throat feels so dry at the moment. His heart is beating madly as his brain short-circuits. _What does this all mean?_

Steve takes a deep breath again. “You know when they say…that when you have a near-death experience, your life flashes before your eyes?”

Bucky doesn’t trust his voices so he nods. Steve steps closer; there’s nowhere for Bucky to go. He’s basically trapped. And it doesn’t help that he starting to go weak in the knees.

“When that car hit me, the first and last thought I had…was how I won’t see you again, or see Kyle. That I didn’t get to say goodbye or have just one more day with you guys.”

“Steve,” Bucky mutters brokenly as he laces his fingers in his. He’s starting to hyperventilate. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. Maybe he’s actually asleep and is dreaming.

“You were literally the last thing I saw in my mind. Your face. Your kind beautiful face. And when I woke up, I knew that...I knew that I was head over heels in love with you.”

Bucky lets out a wet laugh and Steve breathes a sigh of relief. _Is this real? Is this really happening?_

“Oh God…” Bucky mutters as he frees one of his hands and he lets his fingers sneak behind Steve’s neck to drag him closer to his face. He just wants to feel closer to him.

Steve chuckles nervously. Bucky’s eyes are roaming his face when Steve closes his eyes and leans over, letting their foreheads touch. “Do you know how hard it was for me waiting for you here? Waiting for you to come back from a date? Going crazy...out of my mind. Thinking how that guy is probably gonna touch you, or hold your hand or share great time with you. And _I_ let it happen. I wasn't brave enough. I couldn’t stand it. I thought I could—I told myself I’d tell you how I feel, regardless--”

“I told him,” Bucky whispers.

Steve opens his eyes and Bucky stares at him. “What?”

“I told him I couldn’t go through with it.”

Steve caresses his cheek with the back of his hand. “Why?”

Bucky huffs and then closes his eyes. “Told him I was in love with someone else.”

He’s trying really hard to inhale but finds his breath shuddering.

Steve whispers strongly, “Bucky.”

And Bucky puts his hands around Steve’s face, cupping his neck mostly. He shakes his head as tears fall down his face. And Steve lays a soft kiss on his left eye, then the right one and then kisses his forehead and runs his lips softly all the way down his nose but doesn’t go for the mouth. He waits and then when Bucky opens his eyes, Steve is gazing at him.

“I’m gonna kiss you now Bucky,” Steve says, already leaning in.

“Yes,” Bucky whispers.

And their lips meet very tenderly.

And Bucky melts. He doesn’t move though. He’s too scared it’s not real. That he’ll wake up and find himself in bed, alone.

Steve’s lips are so soft and taste of coffee and cinnamon. They kiss softly and Steve breaks away only to trail his lips along Bucky’s jaw, dragging his teeth lightly and Bucky almost collapses but Steve holds him with his arm around his waist, pulling him to his chest.

Steve’s fingers are magical. Bucky is breathing raggedly as they card through his hair, pulling the hair band softly and letting his hair fall. Steve’s mouth is relentless as it reaches his chin and crosses to the other cheek.

“Steve,” Bucky gasps. He needs air. And that air is Steve’s lips and he grabs Steve by the neck and forces him back to kissing him.

This kiss is different. It’s open, wet, with tongue and both of them groan at the feel of it. Bucky allows himself to devour Steve’s mouth. He bites his lower lip and Steve gasps. Bucky licks it and then trails off to Steve’s neck.

“Bucky,” Steve moans.

Then Steve cups his cheeks and draws him back to his lips, backing him more into the door if it were possible. It’s like they’re trying to be fused with it. One of Steve's hands travels to rest on his hip, holding him there.

The need for air is persistent and they break away very slowly. Steve nibbling on Bucky’s upper lip one more time before pulling away.

Their foreheads touch. Their breaths are labored and Bucky laughs slightly, eyes closed as his hands hold Steve’s head. “Oh God…” he breathes.

And a tear falls down his cheek. Steve wipes it away then kisses his eyes. Bucky wraps his arms around Steve’s shoulders and pulls him in again. Steve peppers soft kisses all over his face and Bucky lets him.

He’s in heaven. “I’ve waited so long for this.”

Steve stops and whispers in his ear. “Yeah?”

Bucky blushes, gulps and nods. He gasps when Steve licks his ear then slides his lips to his neck and buries his face there, breathing heavily and just staying there.

Bucky holds his head to him and he’s not better either. His breathing is labored and he shudders when Steve plants a kiss there. Then two kisses. But stops and buries himself more there.

Steve says something but Bucky only hears mutterings. “What?” he asks as his hand run through Steve’s golden hair while his other hand caresses the back of his neck.

“I love you.”

Then Steve lifts his head and it’s close to Bucky’s he’s going cross-eyed. “I love you so much Bucky. I’m crazy about you…you have no idea how much.”

Bucky looks at him for seconds before plunging in and devouring his lips, making Steve stagger a bit. He lets out a moan and Bucky is gone. He kisses him with tongue and basically attacks his mouth. And as sudden as he kissed him, he breaks away.

“I love you too.”

And they kiss softly after that, celebrating it.

 

It goes on for God knows how long, making out against the door until Bucky pulls back and rests his head against Steve’s chest. He has so many questions but is too overwhelmed to ask them. Maybe another time. When his heart isn't gonna burst out of his chest.

Steve inhales deeply and says, “I should go.”

Bucky doesn’t trust himself. “Yeah.”

And Steve is not moving, on the contrary, he goes and buries his face in Bucky’s neck. “It’s getting late.”

Bucky throws his head back and it thuds again the wooden door but doesn’t care. There’s electricity running through his body. “Yeah…”

And then there’s a frustrated sigh and Steve is pulling himself away from Bucky. His lips are red and ruined and his hair is disheveled and Bucky can’t believe that he was the one behind this.

“Hug me,” he says softly.

Steve smiles at him and then wraps his arms around him. Bucky clings to him, feeling warm and safe for the first time in years.

Bucky is grateful for this night. For going on that blind date. For sending that text to Clint.

It made his dream come true.

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _own me, you own  
>  you rattle my bones  
> you turn me over and over  
> 'till I can't control myself  
> make me a liar  
> one big disaster  
> you make my heart beat faster_  
>  
> 
> Matt Nathanson's "Faster"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, butterflies, kisses, hugs...be warned!!
> 
> Oh and there's gonna be one more chapter. Can't end it here ;)

 

 

 

Bucky opens his eyes to the morning sunlight passing through his windows, and it takes him seconds before realizing how today is a new day for him.

A new life.

A wide smile spreads across his face as he remembers the night before. His hand touches his lips in remembrance and then touches his neck, trailing the ghost of Steve’s lips.

He chuckles and grips his hair in excitement. He wants to scream but finds himself sighing loudly and jumping out of bed. He grabs his phone and finds two messages from Steve around an hour ago.

 

**_Good morning._ **

The next one is two minutes after.

**_I miss you…_ **

 

Bucky blushes and his fingers hover over the phone. He’s nervous. What should he write? He gets an idea but decides to take a shower first and then respond.

As soon as he’s done and with a towel around his waist, he lies on his bed, one knee bent, and grabs his phone to text back. He realizes it’s still 8 in the morning.

 

**_Come over. I’ll make you breakfast._ **

 

The reply is immediate.

 

**_I’ll be there :)_ **

 

Bucky quickly wears newly washed jeans and a white t-shirt. He lets his hair down, still a bit wet but lets it air dry. He goes to check on Kyle and the kid is sprawled on the bed, deeply asleep. Usually, he lets him sleep in during weekends. And he’s glad for he wants some alone time with Steve.

He leaves the door ajar and then makes his way to the kitchen to brew some coffee. He looks into the fridge and doesn’t know if he should make omelets or pancakes. He decides to let Steve make his choice.

He pours himself a cup and takes two sips, relishing in the taste when there’s a knock on the door. Bucky’s heart flutters as he puts the cup away and makes his way to the door.

 _This is it. Our first day together_ , Bucky thinks.

As soon as he opens it, Steve says, “I didn’t wanna ring the bell in case Kyle is still in bed.”

And Bucky falls a bit more in love. He pulls him in. “Come ‘ere.”

He closes the door and turns, smiling so widely that he catches his breath. The only time Bucky had seen him in the morning was that one time after the accident. He’s convinced that Steve is just one of those people who look extra adorable in the morning. He’s actually in sweatpants and a black t-shirt that is too tight, sketchbook under his arm. Bucky forgets that he can hug Steve or touch him or kiss him.

Steve is one step ahead of him as he walks up close to Bucky, putting his hand on Bucky’s cheek. "Hey."

"Hey,” Bucky breathes and tilts his head capturing Steve's lips in a soft kiss. He tastes of mint and his lips are so soft Bucky wishes he could nibble on them forever. When he pulls back, Steve is blushing and then Bucky kisses him on the cheek.

"I could get used to this," Bucky mutters as his hand reaches to touch the other cheek.

Steve moves his head to kiss the palm caressing his face making Bucky blush this time. "You better."

Bucky takes his hand. "Come on."

And he guides him by hand to the kitchen making him sit on one of the stools. He pours him a fresh cup of coffee.

"What's it gonna be? Omelets? Pancakes? Grilled cheese sandwich?"

Steve smiles warmly at him. "Whatever you're having."

"Nope. I'm making you breakfast and it's your call."

Steve puts his sketchbook on the table and Bucky just noticed it. It’s the leather-bound one. "Omelets. Couldn't get over the one you made me that day."

Bucky chuckles. "Omelet coming right up."

Bucky cracks the eggs, whisks them, and starts grating cheddar cheese into a small plate. It's his own favorite. Then Bucky starts hearing the sound of pencil on paper. He glances back and sees Steve’s head down, focusing on his drawing.

Bucky turns back to the pan and pours the eggs into the skillet. Watching out lest it burns.

"Kyle still asleep?" Steve asks.

Bucky puts two slices of toasts in the toaster. "Yeah. I usually let him sleep in during the weekends. I mean, he usually doesn't sleep for long. He's a morning--"

And he gasps when he feels Steve circle his arms around him from behind, enveloping him in a warm hug. Steve clasps his hands together tightly. Bucky sighs when Steve kisses the back of his neck. "Let me take you out for dinner."

Bucky’s head is so clouded he stupidly blurts, "The omelet!" And he proceeds to flip it and sprinkle the cheese. Steve chuckles and buries his face in his hair, still hugging him from behind. Bucky turns his head to the right a little and brushes Steve's nose, kissing it. "Okay. But you don't have to."

Steve turns him a bit in his arms. His hand cups Bucky's cheek. He's looking deep into his eyes and Bucky gulps. "You deserve all the good in this world Bucky. I want to give you…I want to give you everything."

Bucky feels his heart thuds in his chest and notices Steve's eyes traveling to his lips. He’s still dazed at the words to prepare himself for Steve leaning over and kissing him deeply. Steve's hand grips his hair and moves his head to the right to deepen the kiss, tongue surging in and Bucky’s hand drops the spatula.

He breaks the kiss. "Shit."

And they both chuckle. Bucky pushes him away toward the stool. "You're a menace."

"Me?" Steve feigns innocence after he sits down. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one standing there being so..."

And Bucky raises his brow waiting, and Steve blushes for he seems to be lost for words. "Being what Steve?" He asks as he slides the omelet on a plate and puts the two slices of toast next to it and presents it to him with a flourish.

Steve flushes and grabs the fork and takes a bite. He moans and offers Bucky a bite. "Nah, I'm good. In a few minutes." And he raises his cup of coffee.

And he just sits close to Steve, their shoulders touching. The kitchen is empty yet they are huddled together like they’re about to share a secret. He watches Steve eat as he recounts a work story and how good it is to have Sam there and Bucky gets lost in him, hand under his chin. He takes his chance in being able to gaze at him openly. He doesn't have to look away for fear of being found out.

"You didn't listen to anything I said did ya?" Steve asks, smiling knowingly.

Bucky inhales happily and leans a bit and plants a kiss on his cheek. They’re so close he doesn’t have to lean that far. "I got lost in your damn blue eyes."

Steve takes a sip of his coffee, puts the fork down and turns to Bucky. "Okay. Let me tell you something I've wanted to tell ya a long time ago. Like the first--no, no the time you drove me to the post office, remember?"

"Oh?" and he nudges his shoulder.

Steve sighs as he looks at him. "You have the most gorgeous facial structure I've ever seen in my entire life."

Bucky snickers and Steve nudges him back. "I'm serious. It’s _fucking insane_! It's every artist's fucking dream."

Steve then gets quiet and his hand pats the sketchbook. "It's what got me back to sketching."

Bucky looks at him softly and is about to lean for a kiss when...

"Good morning uncle Bucky!" Kyle's loud voice travels from the hall.

Steve looks at Bucky, and he sees nerves there. Bucky yells back, "Morning buddy."

And when the kid shows up in his pajamas, he pauses and his eyes widen. "Stevie?"

Steve smiles widely and waves a hand. "Hey. Morning buddy."

"What are you doing here?" Kyle asks as he walks toward them, hugging Bucky and giving him a kiss on the cheek. It’s their morning ritual.

Then Kyle stands next to Steve, looking up. Bucky speaks, "Stevie is having breakfast with us. Isn't that nice?"

"Nice?” Then he rolls his eyes. "Nice is not the word uncle Bucky."

Bucky raises his brow. "Oh?"

Kyle suddenly spreads his arms and screams at the ceiling. "BESTEST is the word!"

Steve cackles and hauls the giggling kid up to sit on his lap. He hands him one piece of toast and Kyle takes it willingly, munching on it.

Bucky laughs. "You know that bestest is not a word Kyle."

"Yes, it is,” he replies, smirking at his uncle. He knows how Bucky values words.

"Yeah, Bucky. It totally is," Steve adds and high-fives Kyle.

Bucky shakes his head as he pours himself another cup of coffee. "You two are a menace to the English language."

 

 

***

 

Steve ends up helping Kyle with his math homework voluntarily and Bucky starts the laundry. It isn’t till the afternoon when Steve announces that he has to leave to meet Sam. Something about new renovations at the VA and he needs him.

"On a Sunday?" Bucky asks breathlessly as he comes up from the basement.

"That's Sam for ya. I'm guessing he wants me to look at the new space and sketch a design. I keep telling him I'm not an architect."

"Will you come back Stevie?" Kyle asks, automatically circling Bucky's waist.

"If you want me." Steve ruffles his hair, messing it up.

Bucky is about to reply when Kyle says, "Duh! We always want ya, right uncle Bucky?"

He looks up and Bucky chuckles, tapping his little chin. And then Bucky looks up at Steve, letting his face show all of what he’s feeling for the guy.

"Always," he says softly.

Steve replies without breaking eye contact. "Then I'll see you around 4."

"We'll be waiting."

And they see him to the door and watch him walk leisurely to his house, hands in pockets and sketchbook snug under his arm. Bucky closes the door and is itching to properly bid him goodbye. But Kyle is with him.

He gets an idea.

"Kyle, I'm gonna get the mail."

"On a Sunday?"

"Uh... I forgot to get it yesterday. Be right back."

"Okay. I'll go watch TV."

When Bucky sees him head there, he quickly opens the door and closes it behind him. And he spots Steve is half his way to his house, so he springs up. Steve must've sensed him for he turns, frowns then staggers when Bucky throws himself at him, arms circling his neck and giving him a hard kiss, taking him off guard.

He feels high as he puts all of his feelings into that kiss. A promise of sorts. A seal. Steve kisses back after seconds and it’s like a challenge between them on who would kiss harder. Clash of teeth, seeking tongues and biting lips.

When he breaks the kiss, Bucky is breathless and holds on Steve's t-shirt for composure. Steve isn’t any better as he closes his eyes and breathes heavily. Bucky chuckles lightly and says in a determined voice, "You can take me out tomorrow night."

"On a Monday?" Steve asks, still breathless.

Bucky blushes. "Yeah. And..."

He runs his hands upwards over Steve's chest, feeling his heart beating erratically, and grips the collar. He’s thrilled that he caused that.

"Give me a few days…to tell Kyle. I'm just..." And he laughs lightly. "I'm still processing. All of this. It's like...I feel like..."

"Bucky,” and Steve cups his cheeks and looks tenderly at him. "You can take all the time you need. Few weeks. Months. Even if you still wanna make sure I’m worthy--"

And Bucky cuts him off with another searing kiss, yet a bit softer than the one seconds ago. When Steve is about to kiss back, Bucky pulls away quick. He frames Steve’s face between his hands. “I’m so sure of you. It’s you. I’m so sure I wanna be with you just like I’m sure that my name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

Steve’s eyes look at him with love and passion and then lays the gentlest kiss on Bucky's forehead. He sighs as he closes his eyes, touching his forehead to his. “Please go before I give our nice neighbors something to talk about.”

Bucky flushes and Steve pecks him on the lips quick. Bucky can’t stand seeing Steve looking at him this way, so he turns and jogs back home.

When he gets inside the house and closes the door, he slumps back against it, a stupid smile on his face.

“Where’s the mail?”

Bucky jolts and sees Kyle looking at him from the back of the couch, strawberries in hand, biting them.

He stammers, “Uh…didn’t find any.”

“Oh, okay.” Then he extends his arm out with a new one he picked from the bowl he has in his other hand. “Strawberry?”

Bucky chuckles, walks to him and lets Kyle feed it to him. He intentionally bites Kyle’s finger. The kid giggles. “Ewe uncle Bucky!”

“I’m sorry but I like your fingers.” And he pretends to attack him, mouthing his little fingers, and the kid can’t stop giggling.

 

 

***

 

Steve comes back at 4 o'clock like he promised and they make it into an early art session. Bucky asks him to look after Kyle for the twins need his help in reviewing some contracting papers. It’s in English and they want him to pretty much do an on-sight interpretation for them. They want to make sure they didn't miss anything.

When Bucky is almost out the door, Steve calls out for him to wait.

“Yeah?”

“Can I take Kyle to the park? I’m thinking of introducing him to nature painting.”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “Oh, he’ll be so excited. Of course you can. I’ll meet you guys there. This won’t take long.”

“Oh, great.” And Steve looks conflicted. It seems that he’s trying to decide whether to kiss Bucky or not, given that Kyle can see them from here even though he’s far away.

Bucky’s eyes roam his face and suddenly Steve’s hand reaches for his and squeezes twice. “Don’t be late.”

“I won’t,” he says, his breath catching. It still baffles him how Steve looks at him now. There’s so much love, promise, and passion that he can’t believe it’s directed at him.

He finds himself not being able to breathe and his hand reaches twice but remembers Kyle, so he grabs his keys and bolts out the door.

 

 

***

 

Bucky reaches the furniture store in fifteen minutes. He can't wait to get back to his home. His kid. _His_ Steve.

He has a stupid smile on his face and Wanda calls him out on it as soon as he enters.

"Ah, James Barnes. There's something different about you," she announces to the whole store and fortunately for Bucky's dignity no one is there.

"Can't I be happy to see you guys?"

She opens her arms, her sapphire shawl magically not slipping off her shoulders. He steps into her embrace and her ringed fingers dig into his back.

When he pulls away, her eyes inspect him and he frowns. "What?"

"You look different. I feel different energy coming from you."

"Life is good." He shrugs, smiling softly.

"Bucky, my man!" Pietro greets excitedly. And another hug from Pietro. "How's everything? Kyle?"

"Everything is good. Kyle is doing great. How's school?"

"It's good." Then he claps a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. "Hey, How's Steve? Haven't seen him since he returned that table."

Wanda lets out a loud sigh and rolls her kohled-eyes. "We lost a customer Pietro. It's not the first time or the last time."

He frowns. "But I don't get it though. Still don't get it."

"Get what exactly?" Bucky asks as Wanda guides him back to their office. Pietro is almost jumping around and waves his arms in the air. "I mean, I'm grateful he told us about the nail. I was able to fix it."

"Oh," Bucky is trying to focus with him as Wanda hands him the four-paged contract. He glances swiftly. But then Pietro stresses, "I don't get it."

"Oh my God. Pietro, forget it."

"Maybe Bucky knows. Help me out. He said it held bad memories. Fucking hell! The dude bought it the previous day."

Bucky is silent as it plays in his head. _Wait, what?_ He thinks. He grips tightly onto the papers, almost crumpling them. “What did he say?”

Pietro picks up a pencil off the desk and puts it behind his ear. “Said it held bad memories.”

Bucky can’t help but feel weighed down with it all. Steve has been…It warms his heart that it bothered him that way. He blushes lightly and feels his heart swell with more love if it were possible.

“You know something?”

He shakes his head, straightens up in his seat and clears his throat. “Nope. But I’ll ask him if you want.”

“Please do. It’s been a mystery.”

“Stick with school Pietro. Now, let’s look at this contract shall we?” Bucky smiles.

 

 

***

 

**_You guys still in the park?_ **

**_Yup._ _Hurry up…I miss you._ **

 

He parks his car and walks to the park all the while thinking of what Pietro said. Could Steve have felt for him back then? He smiles. He probably did but didn’t realize it until the accident. Just like Bucky himself.

 _How dense were we?_ He thinks.

His eyes find Kyle standing up, his easel in the middle of the park, and he’s painting. Steve is sitting a few feet behind him, sketchbook on his knees and is sketching energetically.

He hears part of their conversation as he approaches them.

“But Stevie, I don’t think I’ll be good at this,” Kyle says, sounding a bit frustrated.

“Trust me Kyle. With practice you’ll be better. You’ll be so good people will pay you to paint their portraits.”

Kyle giggles. “You’re silly Stevie. No way!”

Steve chuckles at him and then Kyle catches Bucky’s eyes. “Uncle Bucky!”

And he runs to him, hugging him quick and then running back to his canvas. Steve looks up at him, halts in his sketching, and taps his pencil on the paper. Bucky smiles at him and Steve pats the spot next to him. Bucky doesn’t say anything and sits. He bends his knees, resting his arms on them. Steve is back to sketching and Bucky is watching his process. The way he draws is so brilliant and crazy, yet soothing. He's drawing Kyle painting. It's impeccable and yet again Bucky is in awe of his talent.

Then he remembers what Pietro said and then decides to not talk about it. He moves his hand though and rests it on Steve’s lower back. Just to touch him. Steve pauses a bit, smiles his way and then resumes working.

It’s a very quiet day and Bucky’s enjoying it immensely.

 

 

***

 

 

Bucky paces the next day as he waits for Nat to show up. He has sent her a text and she immediately said she’d be there in few minutes. It’s Monday and he was surprised she’d show up. But that’s what’s great about her. Work consumes her but if her friends needed her, she would abandon everything and show up.

He wants to tell her about the new development. About him and Steve. He opens a new bottle of wine and waits. He sips some, which he’s never done in the middle of the day. He’s that nervous and happy at the same time.

When the doorbell rings, he takes a deep breath and opens it for her. He never thought he’d see the day where Nat barges in, in her pajamas and fluffy monster slippers. Hair disheveled and face pale.

“What the hell happened to you? You didn’t come from work like this did ya?” Bucky asks and laughs at the murderous look she gives him.

“You’re lucky I’m here at all jackass.”

“Oh…bad mood Nat. It’s been so long since I’d last seen her.” He puts his hands up in surrender. “Come on. I have wine.”

She walks with him to the kitchen. “No, I don’t feel like it.”

He freezes. She never refuses wine. “What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t go to work ‘cause I got some bug or something. Been throwing up this morning. And last night.”

“Did you ask Clint to examine you? That’s the perk of marrying a doctor.” And he goes and puts his hand over her forehead. She feels normal.

She yawns. “Didn’t see him this morning. I slept in. I’ll see him later. I’m sure it’s the dinner I ate last night.” She grabs a cup and pours coffee for herself. “Now, what’s so urgent that I didn’t have time to put shoes on?”

“It isn’t that urgent,” Bucky says, laughing as he sits in front of her.

She sips loudly and moans at the taste and he laughs again. “Indulge me. Plus, I’ll kill you if you tell Clint about this. I did not wear my pjs outside the house.”

He puts his hands up in surrender. Then she raises her brow, waiting, and he stammers.

“Uh…there’s something I wanna tell you.”

She perks up, then has this helpless look on her face. “Oh, God. I forgot about your date last night. How was it?” She grimaces. “He’s boring, isn’t he? I can tell from what Clint told me.”

He shakes his head. “He was nice. Nicer than I deserve.”

She frowns and takes several sips. He continues not looking at her. “I…Steve and I are together now.”

He hears a chocking sound and Nat has spilled on her pajama top. She catches her breath, clears her throat as she drinks again. Then puts the mug forcefully on the counter and lets out a loud scream.

He laughs breathlessly. “Calm down. My God.”

She covers her face then her mouth as she looks at him. “Oh my God.” Then he notices that her eyes are filling up very fast. It takes only seconds and she’s bawling. Literally bawling. “Oh my God…”

And she covers her face as she her breath hitches. He breaks for her and gets up to rub her back. “Calm down. I thought this would make you happy.”

“These are happy tears you idiot.” And she hugs his waist, burying her face in his stomach. “I’m so happy James. This comes second to seeing my baby girl for the first time.”

“My God…I’m that pathetic aren’t I?”

She pulls away as she tries to dry the tears that won’t stop falling. He goes and brings her a box of tissues. She blows her nose and then asks him to sit.

“FULL details please.”

He blushes and doesn’t seem surprised at her request.

He tells her everything. From the moment he asked Steve that dreadful question to them kissing against the door. All the time she’s just crying, her nose is red and her eyes are too.

“He’s taking me out tonight. So I was wondering if you’d babysit Kyle.”

She slaps her hands on the counter. “Say no more.”

“Thanks. He’ll pick me up at 7. After I make sure he’s done his homework and everything.”

She nods. “Did you tell Kyle?”

Bucky shakes his head and inhales. “I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

“He’ll go ballistic, bless his soul.”

They both chuckle. And then she drums her hands on the counter making some random beat. “So, when is the wedding?”

This time he’s the one who chokes on his coffee. She wiggles her brows. “Don't jump into conclusions Nat.”

And he feels his face redden as he ponders the idea. He finds himself not in the least opposed to it. He’d marry Steve in a heartbeat. He just knows he’s the one.

Apparently his daydreaming alerts Nat. “Oh my God…” she whispers.

He clears his throat. “What?” As he drinks again.

She covers her mouth with both hands. “You’re considering it.”

He squirms in his seat. “For God’s sake Nat. Tonight is our first date…” and he trails off when she cries again.

“I’m so happy you don’t even KNOW!” And she wipes her red eyes gently.

“I think I’ll call Clint to pick you up. You don’t sound yourself.”

She yelps as she dashes for her purse. “We gotta call husband. He’ll flip.”

He groans and rests his head on the counter, watching her dialing.

“I'll put him on speaker.”

It’s times like these that Bucky is astounded how uncanny her daughter looks like her. She’s giddy like a kid. Clint’s grunts reaches them.

“Okay, all right. I’ll see you later Ms. Baker…Hey Nat, what’s up? Sorry, I was with a patient…”

Bucky cringes, waiting for what she’s going to say. His eyes widen and sits straight up when she cries and gasps her husband’s name. “Clint!”

“Nat! What’s wrong? Where are you? You okay? Natasha!” Clint is frantic.

Bucky grabs the phone and turns off the speaker. “Hey Clint. She’s okay. God, she’s been acting weird. Don’t worry.”

“Bucky?” Clint sighs. There’s still worry in his voice. “What the _fuck_ is going on? She’s hurt, isn’t she? She’s hurt and she doesn’t wanna tell me. Is that it?”

“No, no-"

"I swear to God Natasha Romanoff!"

"I swear to you she’s okay. She’s just—“

Nat grabs her phone back after blowing her nose. “Steve and Bucky are together now.”

“Jesus Christ! Why the fuck are you crying?”

He’s back on speaker and Bucky cringes as he hears him yelling.

“Because I’m happy!”

“I need to check on you…wait…did you say Bucky and Steve are together? Like 'they finally got their shit together' together?”

“Yes!”

“Fucking finally jackass!! I know you can hear me! I’m gonna open that expensive bottle we have Nat.”

“Really?” She smirks Bucky’s way.

Bucky wants to die as he hears the two crazy couple plan out his love life.

 

***

 

He doesn’t see Steve for the rest of the day and after he finishes helping Kyle with homework and feeding him an early dinner, he opens the door for Nat. Bucky observes her and she looks way better than this morning. She’s not crying.

“Thanks again.”

She sighs happily. “Don’t ever mention it. It’s the day I’ve been dreaming of for a long time.”

He nods toward Kyle reminding her not to say anything. The kid comes and kisses her on the cheek. “You and I tonight sweetie.”

“Yeah. Our own club.”

She wiggles her brows. “No uncle James for us.”

He giggles and she hugs him to her waist. “Where’s Nicole?”

She looks down at him and smooths his hair. “She’s keeping her dad company. He’s a baby.”

Kyle tries not to laugh. “No, he’s not aunt Nat.”

“He is. I carry him around sometimes.”

And that elicits a loud musical laugh from Kyle and a chuckle out of Bucky. “You’re so funny aunt Nat.”

“Go choose a TV show for us. Go.” She pats him on the back and he runs there but not before saying, “This is gonna be the BEST night ever and ever.”

The two adults laugh and then Nat whispers to Bucky, “Hopefully for you too.”

Bucky blushes as she winks his way. “We’re not there yet. Jeez.”

“I say just jump each other and be done with it.”

He drags her to his room. “Keep it down. God.”

“Why am I in your room?”

His shoulders sag helplessly. “I don’t know what to wear. And I’m fucking nervous. Look.” And he spreads his hands and they’re literally shaking.

“Oh God James. You too already confessed your love to each other. You shouldn’t even be worried.”

“I know. I just…wanna look nice—I mean presentable, you know,” he explains, cheeks going red.

She folds her arms over her chest. “You mean fuckable?”

“OH GOD. NO!” He covers her mouth. She bites his hand and he jumps back, rubbing his hand and hissing.

“I don’t know if you’ve missed the memo, but you look fuckable anyway.”

Bucky gives her a deadly look. “I regret asking you already. And just so you know, I’m not gonna have sex with him tonight or any time soon.”

“Why?” Her tone serious all of a sudden. There’s a hint of worry to it too.

He sits on the bed and sighs. He never voiced this fear out loud to anyone or to himself for that matter. “I just…he…I don’t know. You should’ve seen his late ex-fiancé. She was fuckin’ gorgeous. And what if…I don’t know…what if I don’t live up to that or…“

She sits next to him. “First of all, she was a woman and you’re a man. I hope you know that. And how different it is, sex wise.”

He rolls his eyes. _Why did I open my mouth?_ He wonders.

“What I’m trying to say is that … what if he’s never ready for _that_ or I’m not good…I mean, I know myself. I’m pretty good. What if I'm not good enough for him. Plus, I don’t know if he’s ever been with men or…”

“Sometimes it’s so fun to watch you babble and stammer. But I don’t have time for it tonight, lucky you. So listen,” and she holds his hand.

He turns to her; eyes lost seeking reassurance from his closest friend. She smiles and he remembers their times in college in London when she used to console him every time he got homesick.

“Who made the first move?” Her voice is very gentle.

“He did,” he whispers.

“Who confessed his love first?”

He gulps. “He did.”

“Who initiated that mind-blowing kiss?” She’s smirking now.

Bucky regrets describing it to her. He blushes as he says, “He did.”

“There you go. You have your answer. He chose you. I’m sure he’s the one having doubts, not the other way around.”

He squeezes her hand and huffs a laugh. “I know. I know, which I still can’t believe. I’m not in a hurry. I’m just having stupid thoughts I guess.”

“Yes, you are. Now, come on. I want him to be speechless when he sees you.”

 

 

***

 

“Hey buddy,” Bucky starts as he rubs Kyle’s back who’s sketching some flowers for Nat.

“Hmm?”

“I’m leaving now to meet some friend. Aunt Nat will be with you. You don’t have to wait for me, okay? You gotta go to bed early. It’s a school night.”

Kyle looks up and his eyes widen. “Oh, wow. You look so nice. How did you do your hair like that?”

Bucky tries not to blush and fails. Nat insisted he uses gell and slicks it back, with a slight parting on the left. “It’s hair gell.”

“Oh. Well, it looks really nice.”

“Thanks Kyle.” And he kisses him on the cheek and Kyle hugs him and kisses Bucky’s shoulder like always. Bucky hugs him tighter and leaves another kiss on his golden hair.

His phone beeps and then he waves at Nat who quickly proceeds to ask Kyle to sketch her portrait instead so he doesn't follow Bucky to the door. Kyle is looking like he won the lottery. He squeals as he instructs her on how to sit.

Bucky closes the door behind him and looks around to find Steve waiting for him on the bike. That bike. Steve takes his breath away. As always.

He’s wearing dark jeans with a dark blue Henley under a brown leather jacket. Bucky smiles and the nerves are starting but when he sees the look on Steve’s face, he feels maybe…just maybe… he’s not the only one.

Steve’s mouth opens but no words come out and he stumbles a bit as he gets off the bike. Bucky walks toward him and takes the helmet when Steve doesn’t move and only stares.

“Hey,” Bucky starts and chuckles when Steve doesn’t answer.

So he gives him a peck on the cheek. “You okay?”

Steve flushes and rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah. It’s just…wow.”

So Nat was probably right when she chose his outfit. He’s wearing his black tight jeans, a white t-shirt under a navy cardigan that fit him nice.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Please. You’re a whole different...” And Steve looks lost for words again. Bucky takes pity on him and speaks.

“Are we gonna go or what?”

“Uh…yeah…sure. Okay.”

And Steve puts his helmet on, and Bucky too and this time he doesn’t wait for Steve to wrap his arms tightly around his waist.

 

 

***

 

“Where did you find this? This is the quietest diner I’ve ever been in,” Bucky asks about the diner as they’re seated in a far away booth. Steve has chosen that spot. They sit very close to each other with Steve’s arm draped behind Bucky on the back of the leather booth.

“Sam. He sometimes takes some of the veterans here and treats them to a meal. Bonds with them. Some if not most would only relax in quiet familiar places.”

Bucky nods and then the waitress comes over and they both order cheeseburgers. Bucky had told Steve before that he didn’t want any fancy restaurant for their first date. He wants simple and he wants burgers and fries.

As soon as she leaves, Bucky says, “Sam is a nice guy.”

“He is. Now enough about Sam.” Steve scoots closer and Bucky looks at him in amusement. It’s like he’s trying to attach himself to him. He leans over and plants a soft kiss on Bucky’s cheek. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself.” Bucky is still amused.

“What do you wanna talk about? Because let’s face it Bucky. We totally did this all backwards.”

Bucky taps the napkin dispenser. “Okay, I’ve got something for you. So you’re not straight, huh?”

Steve laughs out loud and Bucky smiles, watching him throw his head back. Bucky just stares, hands on chin. _God, I love him_ , he thinks.

“Obviously not, Bucky. What made you think that?”

Bucky gives him the –are you kidding me—look. “You were to be married to a woman.”

“So?” Steve says as his arm falls on Bucky’s shoulder blades.

Bucky scoffs. “I’ve never seen you flirt with men.”

“I didn’t flirt with anyone ever since I moved here.”

“Yes, you did!”

Steve sits up straight, but still attached to Bucky’s side. “When?”

Bucky regrets that he went there and wants to bite his tongue. _Damn it!_

“Uh…at the fruit store. Saw you with a young pretty lady…”

“I don’t…Oh. Oh! Bucky, no.” And he chuckles lightly. The waitress brings their milkshakes and tells them their burgers are on the way.

“She was texting and tripped and I happened to witness it. So I just jumped and held her.”

Bucky wants to crawl under the table. He just looks horrified and freezes all together. Steve rubs the back of Bucky’s neck in a soothing manner. “Is that…is that why I couldn’t find you that day?”

Bucky looks away and feels his cheeks redden. He’s grateful for the cold drink as he sips long from his milkshake. He can feel Steve is staring at him, waiting. When he keeps quiet, Steve says softly, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Bucky shakes his head. “Don’t. You didn’t know. I was just…” and he waves his hand around.

“Jealous?” Steve asks, smirking.

“Shut up.” Bucky elbows him lightly on the side. “Like you weren’t with your 20 questions?”

Steve frowns. “What do ya mean?”

The waitress appears again and puts their orders and leaves. Bucky chuckles as he remembers it. He doesn’t know why he didn’t see it. He’s so dense.

“You went on a questioning spree when I told you I’d go on a blind date. You just-oomph!”

Steve’s lips are on his. The man is trying to steal his breath and Bucky is taken aback; he doesn’t have the time to kiss back. Steve pulls away, eyes sharp. “God, don’t ever mention that date. I literally feel my blood boil at the thought.”

“Steve…” he whispers. He doesn’t know what to say. Steve looks at his fries and swirls one piece in ketchup, not eating yet.

“I…was so stupid. I wasn’t sure you felt the same way. You’re always nice and great with everyone that I thought maybe I’m just like a friend… and…”

“Hey,” Bucky consoles, his hand grabbing Steve’s chin to make him look at him.

He smiles timidly at Bucky and the latter says, “Let’s enjoy our burgers, yeah?”

 

 

***

 

“So, when was it for you?” Bucky asks.

Steve is taking a bite of the pie they were served minutes ago. “What do ya mean?”

Bucky feels his mouth dry and takes another sip of his milkshake. He just wants to know. Satisfy his curiosity. He's a romantic! These thoughts haunt him. “Well, you said you knew after the accident but were there…like was there a moment when you knew…forget about it, it’s stupid.”

Steve giggles. “I actually knew what you meant, just wanted to hear you stammer.”

Bucky punches him. “You and Nat are evil.” And he looks away, feeling his face hot at his stupid question.

“I think for me…it was when you guys left for Orlando. I was just like…oh my God. What is my life without them, you know?”

Bucky gives him a loving look and Steve chuckles as he plays with his straw. “But with you…I think I kinda felt something but ignored it—clearly—when you literally fell into my arms, remember?”

Bucky shakes his head and Steve blushes. “When you were gonna climb through my window to unlock the door…”

“Oh yeah, that one. Jeez.” Bucky face-palms.

“Obviously I was dense or in denial... you name it.”

Then he sips his drink. Cuts a small piece of the pie and feeds it to Bucky who welcomes it, chewing slowly. “You?”

Bucky shrugs. “Oh, the way you were with the Kyle. I was sold.”

Steve smirks. “Give me a moment.”

Bucky contemplates and then says, “There isn’t really. I was crushing on you after a while after seeing you on the bike for the first time." Steve wiggles his brows at him and Bucky sticks his tongue out. "But seeing you with Kyle, with everyone, and how you were with me… it turned into real feelings without me knowing…until the accident.”

Steve holds his hand and smiles. “I guess there was some good that came out of that accident.” And chuckles.

Bucky leans over and rests his forehead against his, making Steve still for a second. “Don’t. Don’t mention that time.”

Steve runs a finger over Bucky’s nose. “It’s been two months. We could’ve saved time and been together.”

Bucky laughs this time and turns to get back to the milkshake. “Well, we’re two idiots then.”

“For sure.”

 

 

***

 

The plan was not to stay out too late, with Steve having to work early in the morning and Bucky wanting to get back to Kyle. But they were having a great date they didn't check the the time. It's really late. Around 11 when they leave. Steve does drive around a bit and Bucky asks him on a stoplight if he's lost.

“Just wanna have your arms around me for a bit longer.”

Bucky’s heart swells and he tightens his arms around his middle. Steve pats his hands and they drive off. This time back to the house.

He parks the bike in front of his own house and Bucky’s heart thuds in his chest and when he takes off his helmet to ask, Steve quickly reassures him. “Relax Bucky. Just didn’t want to annoy the neighbors twice.”

Then he takes their helmets, puts them on the bike and offers his arm to Bucky. “Allow me to walk you home?”

Bucky huffs a laugh. “Punk.”

“Jerk.”

And they walk arm in arm, enjoying the quiet neighborhood, the crickets’ sound is very soothing somehow. Bucky just breathes the clear air and it’s a comfortable silence.

When they reach the steps to his house, he steps up and Steve is on the ground still, making Bucky loom over him. Steve looks up, smiling.

“Thanks for tonight.”

Steve shakes his head. “Please. It was nothing. I would’ve taken you somewhere better but you had to insist—“

And Bucky shuts him up by capturing his moving lips softly. He looks adorable blabbering and Bucky wants to taste him already. He nibbles a bit on his lower lip before pulling back, opening his eyes slowly.

Steve stills as he looks up at him. Bucky gives him a one-sided smile but is lost in Steve’s blue eyes in seconds. Bucky watches him, not knowing what to do as Steve’s eyes are glued to his face. He looks like he's astounded.

Then Steve breathes, “Jesus Christ you’re beautiful.”

And it takes Bucky seconds to process the compliment when Steve chases his lips, capturing them. He goes up the steps, pushing Bucky back and crowding him against the door, making Bucky’s back thud against it. They break away as a result of the force, making Bucky grunt.

Steve captures Bucky’s lips again in a searing kiss, his hands cradling his head. His fingers in his long styled hair messing it up. Bucky’s hands roam his shoulders and back and then he wants to catch his breath. He's running out of air. So he pulls away but gasps again when Steve continues to mouth his jaw, panting. Hearing that frantic breathing makes Bucky weak in the knees and slumps against the door again, moaning softly.

He rests his head back as he surrenders to Steve. His face is basically being kissed all over. It's been so long for him. So long since anybody had kissed him like this, showered him with kisses like this. Bucky doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he just circles his arms around Steve’s waist, bringing him closer to him. They’re touching hip to hip and Steve grunts. He then drags his mouth across Bucky’s cheek, reaching his right ear and there’s a bit of hesitance but then he bites the lobe lightly. Bucky hisses and tilts head to the side, burying his head in Steve's neck again. He leaves a soft kiss there and then another one. Then he gets bold and bites softly making Steve growl. Suddenly, he's pushed again against the door, hands pressing on his hips. They're touching from head to toe and it thrills Bucky to no end.

And Steve is the one who bites his neck this time and there's a bit of urgency to it making Bucky moan and gasp. He realizes that Steve is basically giving him a hickey.

"Steve,” he moans his name in the quiet night. “Fuck.”

And then he seeks his mouth, holding Steve's head and bringing their lips together again. Breathing him. Inhaling every last breath.

His head is dizzy and he holds Steve's head, halting him as he pulls away. They're both panting loudly in the quiet night.

He rests his forehead against his and let's out a breathless laugh. With his eyes still closed, he breathlessly says, "I told you you're a menace."

"And I told you it's your own fault."

Their mouths are inches apart, and they’re both sharing the same ragged breath. Steve softly caresses his face and whispers, "I love you."

"I love you too," Bucky says opening his eyes.

His breath is taken away by the look Steve is giving him. "I...Bucky...I..."

And Bucky waits but then Steve smiles and then kisses his nose. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Not going anywhere."

"Good. 'Cause...” and then his voice breaks and Bucky is worried. “I don't know what I'd do without you. My life before you was…just…"

Bucky tilts his head a bit to the hand framing his face and kisses the warm palm. And Steve sighs. “My life was meaningless before you came into the picture. I was…void, hollow, and you and Kyle came and brought me back to life. And then _you_ …I’ve never felt this way about anyone Bucky! _Never_.”

Bucky then doesn't trust himself and just hugs him so tight. His lips grace his ear and he whispers, “You have me. You _have_ me. I’m yours.”

And he feels Steve shiver a bit and takes a deep breath. Bucky thinks that maybe it’s the aftermath of what had happened to Peggy. How she left him, left the world.

So Bucky tightens his arms again around him and feels his eyes prickle with tears. In that moment he vows to himself that he’d do whatever it takes to make him happy. He turns his head and plants a hard kiss on the side of Steve’s head. He’d protect him from everything and anything.

 

 

***

 

The next day Bucky is very nervous when it’s near five o’clock. Kyle has finished his homework and is sketching on the dinning table, waiting for Steve. Bucky hasn’t seen him since last night. The VA has been keeping him busy. He texted Bucky that he was gonna change at home and then come here directly, around five.

Bucky brings with him a bowl of fruit salad, mostly strawberries since they’re Kyle's favorite. He brings his own coffee mug and sits next to him, at the head of the table.

“Hey Kyle.”

“Hey uncle Bucky—Ooooh fruit!” He takes the small fork from his uncle and pops a grape in his mouth. Bucky notices how he’s polishing Nat’s portrait. He’s done an impressive job with it. The face needs work so he’s probably gonna tell Steve to help him with it.

Bucky tries not to squirm. “Kyle?”

“Yeah,” he mutters, eyes on paper.

“I wanna talk to ya for a minute.”

Kyle quickly puts his pencil away. “Oh. Okay.”

Bucky smiles as he watches him chew the strawberry very fast in his mouth. Bucky touches his shoulder. “Easy.”

“Done! Okay.”

“So, there’s something important that I gotta tell ya.” And Bucky’s heart is beating so fast. He doesn’t think Kyle will disapprove but he still doesn’t know what sort of reaction he’s gonna have. Bucky never dated ever since he got custody of Kyle. When he grew up and understood the concept of relationships, he had asked Bucky once and only once a year ago. Bucky was honest and just told him that he hasn’t found the right person yet.

“Okay.” Kyle looks at him with those eyes and Bucky waits a bit as he realizes that his life is going to change now with this piece of information.

But Kyle frowns then gasps. "Uncle Bucky. What happened to your neck?"

"What?" Then he remembers and blushes to the roots of his hair. He has thought his t-shirt would cover the hickey Steve gave him. Even though he secretly loved looking at it this morning and wanted to show it to the world.

"Uh...It's a mosquito. Bit me last night."

Kyle raised his brows in shock. "That's one big mosquito."

Bucky sips his coffee and adjusts his t-shirt. "Listen, I gotta tell ya something."

"Oh yes. Sorry uncle Bucky. Go ahead."

Bucky smiles at how polite his kid is. He's so thankful. Then he remembers what he has to tell him.

“Uh…Steve and I are…” and Bucky can’t feel his throat and he takes huge gulps of the hot coffee burning his throat in the process.

It seems his pauses alert Kyle and he has this fearful look on his face. “You guys fought? You aren’t friends anymore?”

Bucky almost drops his mug. “What? No, not at all.”

He sees Kyle’s eyes quickly fill with tears and fear. So Bucky clarifies, “Hey, no. It’s not that. We’re totally fine.”

Kyle breathes a sigh of relief and Bucky can’t help but lean over and kiss his head. “You scared me uncle Bucky.”

“You didn’t let me finish buddy.”

“Well, what is it?”

Bucky looks him in the eye and decides to just blurt it out all at once. “Steve and I are together.”

His kid looks back at him with a frown. “What do you mean? Like …in a club? Is it a book club uncle Bucky? I don't understand how-–"

“No, no. We’re together as in we’re dating. We’re seeing each other.”

A loud gasp escapes Kyle’s mouth and he covers his mouth with both hands. Bucky doesn’t know how to read that but then he sees the little kid’s eyes. He knows that look.

It’s excitement.

But he still has to ask. “Kyle?”

The kid is still but then he drops his hands slowly and whispers, “You mean like boyfriends?”

“Uh…” and Bucky suddenly remembered Nat and how she scolded him. They’ve confessed their love for each other already. Surely they are. But he never said it out loud.

“Yeah, we are.”

He is startled when Kyle stands quickly on the chair and spreads his arms wide and screams at the top of his lungs. “This is the BESTEST BEST day ever and ever and EVER!”

Bucky gives into laughing and then the wind is knocked out of him when Kyle jumps into his arms, making the mug spill a bit of coffee.

He circles his uncle’s neck with his arms tightly Bucky had to ease them a bit. “Gotta let me breathe here buddy.”

“I’m so happy uncle Bucky,” he says before he kisses his shoulder and then basically glues his lips to Bucky’s right cheek making them both teeter on the edge of the chair.

“Okay, okay.” Bucky laughs and then the kid jumps off him and pulls him along.

“Come on. We gotta go to him.”

“What? Why?”

Then the door bells rings and he doesn’t wait for Bucky. He knows who's at the door. He runs and opens it wide. Steve is standing there, carrying some papers or sketchbooks and staggers back when Kyle attacks him with a hug.

Bucky calls out. “Kyle, careful.”

“Hey, buddy.” Steve chuckles. When Kyle doesn’t answer him and buries his face more in his stomach, Steve looks up at Bucky, eyes concerned.

“What’s going on?”

Bucky doesn’t want to explain it, voice it. Words aren’t needed. He just puts his hand on Steve’s forearm and leans over and gives him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. Steve freezes and barely kisses back out of shock. When Bucky pulls away, Steve looks down to see Kyle grinning up at him. Bucky smiles at the scene.

“Oh,” he breathes.

 

The night goes on greatly and every time Bucky and Steve kiss, Kyle would spread his arms and yells, “This the BESTEST day ever and ever!”

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Baby, I love you_  
>  Baby, I love only you  
> I can't live without you  
> I love everything about you  
> I can't help it if I feel this way  
> Oh, I'm so glad I found you  
> I want my arms around you  
> I love to hear you call my name
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> The Ramones' "Baby I Love You"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's complete!  
> I'd like to thank each and every one of you who read it, left a comment or left kudos. If it weren't for your encouraging words and spirits, I wouldn't have finished this one. It has become a dear fic of mine. I'll surely miss them.
> 
> I really hope it doesn't disappoint.  
> Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

It’s been two weeks since their first date. Steve basically comes over after work, after changing at his house and then heading to Bucky’s to spend the rest of the day there.

The art lessons are daily now even though Bucky is trying to make them every other day. He wants Kyle to balance his time between hobbies and studies. So after a lot of convincing, Steve goes back to the old schedule even when he’s there at their house.

Steve and Bucky take turns in cooking dinner. It’s during the cooking time that Steve gets a bit bold with him because Kyle would be busy either playing or watching TV. He’d steal kisses and hugs. One time, Bucky messed up the recipe simply because Steve wouldn’t stop kissing the nape of his neck.

The language lessons are harder since Steve won’t sit still. He’d try his best to distract Bucky with his hands tangling in his hair to the point that Bucky decides to sit across from him in his swivel chair. And when he resorts to that, he is welcomed with a pouty Steve. _Every time_.

They haven’t done anything, physically, other than making out. Steve has been respectful and Bucky gets frustrated most of the times. He wants those hands to wander and _take_. With anyone else, Bucky would always initiate but with Steve, he wants him to do it on his own terms. Bucky feels that way simply out of respect to his ex.

 _Maybe Steve isn’t ready_ , he thinks at night. He doesn’t want to pressure him.

The wet dreams don’t stop.

 

***

 

It’s on Tuesday the following week that Steve has his day off. Bucky is reminded of that when he's in the middle of translating a document and there’s a knock on the door at around ten in the morning.

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asks, smiling widely, as he opens the door.

Steve kisses him lightly on the lips as he makes his way in. “I have my day off, remember?”

“Oh, right. It’s just it’s not consistent sometimes…Oh,” he accepts the mug Steve hands him. “What’s this?”

“My infamous hot chocolate.”

Bucky closes the door and heads to his office, Steve following him. “So, any plans?”

“I just thought I’d come and spend time with you,” Steve says as he sits on the couch, putting his legs up on the coffee table. Bucky sips from the hot chocolate, hums and then sits back behind his desk to type in one last thing.

“Don’t let me interrupt you unless me being here is…”

“No, it’s okay Steve. Let me just finish this last paragraph and then I’m all yours.”

Steve blushes and Bucky smiles at him. He throws him an Italian book. “Try reading.”

Steve flips the pages and frowns. “This is in Italian.”

Bucky wiggles his brows. “Exactly.”

Steve nods and proceeds. It’s a comfortable silence that lasts for twenty minutes.

“Done.” And Bucky signs off.

“Really?”

“Editing starts in two days.” He gets up and sits next to Steve who’s back to frowning at the book.

“What?” And Bucky peeks at the page. He hasn't passed the third page. He's still there.

“I can’t. I thought it’d be easy.” Steve is frowning and looks frustrated. Bucky puts the mug on the table, kisses him on the cheek and takes the book.

“Don’t beat yourself up. Reading is the hardest. It’s my fault. I’ll find something easier.”

“We finished the last booklet. What to do now I wonder?” Steve asks lazily as he leans over Bucky, seeking his lips.

Bucky pushes him away, trying not to laugh at the puppy-eyed look Steve is giving him. “No! Every time I try to teach ya something, you avoid it.”

“I don’t avoid,” and Steve slides his hand around Bucky’s neck. He nuzzles there. “It’s just I can’t fight temptation…”

“That’s it. I’m giving you a pop quiz.”

And that does it. Steve jerks back. “What? That’s not fair.”

“That’s why it’s called pop quiz Steve. It just springs up on ya.” And he smiles at the horrified look on Steve’s face as he goes and grabs the vocabulary list they studied way in the beginning. He comes back and sits at the opposite end of the couch, crossing his legs under him.

Steve looks a bit scared. Bucky chuckles. “Don’t worry Steve. I’ll give you oral.”

And then Steve looks at him funny and it’s in that moment Bucky realizes what he just said. “Oh God…oral quiz. I meant…you know, verbal. I'll make it a verbal quiz--shut up!”

And he kicks him lightly as Steve guffaws. Bucky’s cheeks are burning and he scoffs and says, “I’m gonna start and you better answer Steve ‘cause these are easy.”

Steve holds his hand up. “Wait. There’s gotta be some sort of system.”

Bucky frowns. “System?”

“If I get a word right, I get to kiss you.”

Bucky shakes his head, amused. “And if you get one wrong?”

“Easy.” He shrugs. “ _You_ kiss me.”

Bucky throws his arms up in the air. “What kind of system is this?”

Steve shrugs. “The reward and punishment one. Duh.”

Bucky can’t help but laugh. “Where’s the punishment here? I don’t see it.”

Steve sighs. “Semantics Bucky. Just go with it. Please?” and he gives him that puppy-eyed look again. Bucky is weak for that look and just relents.

“Fine.” He looks through the list. He sits back, facing Steve whose legs are on the coffee table.

“I’ll say the word in Italian and you give me English. Ready?”

“ _Si_.” And Steve wiggles his brows. Bucky can’t help but blush a little.

He starts with easy words. _Airport, Library, Restaurant, Bathroom._ And Steve gets them, and Bucky feels his lips tingle of all the light kisses Steve has given him so far. Steve’s on a roll that he just moves until he’s inches away from Bucky’s face. “I just know it. I’m gonna get the next one right.”

Bucky pushes him away and points at him. “Come on. I gotta check those you got right.” And he goes and does that with a pencil. Up until now he’s got them right. Then he doesn’t.

Steve frowns. “Wait. I know this…shit. It’s on the tip of my tongue.”

Bucky watches him with a smirk on his face. Then says, “Time’s up.”

And Bucky leans and kisses him lightly on the lips. Steve is still frowning. “What was the word?”

“School.”

And then he gets the rest right but then the list ends and Bucky starts saying words he chooses randomly from the reading book.

“I don’t know them and you know that,” Steve says as he welcomes Bucky’s light kiss.

“What about _chirurgia_?” and Bucky doesn’t wait for Steve. He feels bold enough. He doesn’t give Steve the chance to answer back because he knows he didn’t teach him that word.

“Uh—“ and Steve kisses back but Bucky pulls away to whisper another word. Steve shakes his head, a slight frown. “You’re just playing me.”

Bucky kisses him. He can't get enough and is happy Steve chose this system. Then he finds himself crawling and without thinking he straddles Steve’s lap. He keeps devouring his mouth. Quiz forgotten.

This is Bucky’s chance and he just deepens the kiss and Steve is with him. He steals his breath and then Bucky finally sits on him. Steve doesn’t move, just buries his long fingers in his hair and Bucky wants more.

He pulls back and stares at Steve’s eyes. They’re dark blue. Stormy and full of passion and something Bucky hasn’t seen before. He goes to kiss him and when he’s inches away from him, Bucky moves his hips and grinds lightly. Steve sighs and lays his head back, eyes closed. That’s all the permission Bucky wants. He does it again and holds Steve’s head and kisses him, tongue surging and seeking. Steve is right there with him, groaning and bucking up, making Bucky feel like he’s gonna pass out.

 _Finally!_ Bucky thinks.

When he doesn’t stop rolling his hips, Steve growls and holds Bucky’s hips, halting him. He quickly lays him on the couch, and lies on top of him. He holds Bucky’s arms up and kisses him, burying him in the soft couch. Bucky is thrilled. This is the first time he’s had Steve on top of him. Horizontally plastered. Touching all over. Feeling him all over. He can’t breathe and pulls away gasping.

“Wait, wait, wait,” he gasps out. It’s been so long since someone just …

Steve quickly releases his hands and pulls away, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s breathing heavily. “What is it? Did I—“

“No, no.” Bucky smiles then chuckles as he caresses Steve’s face. He takes deep breaths. “It’s just…I’m just overwhelmed. Happy overwhelmed.”

“Oh?” Steve gulps and touches his nose to his. “Want us to stop?”

“Hell no,” and Bucky pulls him down, kissing him hard.

Steve kisses him back but then pulls away and starts trailing kisses along his neck. Bucky smiles as he moans in pleasure. Steve is a ‘neck’ kinda guy. Then he hears Steve's chuckle that turns into giggles.

“What? What is it?” Bucky asks hurriedly, horrified that he’d laugh at this moment.

With his face buried in Bucky’s neck, Steve mumbles, “I had a dream like this once.”

It takes Bucky seconds to comprehend what he just said. “Wait, what?” and this time it’s Bucky who chuckles. He runs his right hand through the soft golden hair and then pulls Steve’s head back, wanting to see him.

Steve props himself back up on his elbows and stares down at Bucky, a playful smile on his face. “I…” and he looks away, a slight blush on his face.

Bucky nudges his foot with his to get his attention back. Steve starts, laughter filling his voice, “It was when we first started the language lessons. One night I had a dream that we were making out right on this very couch.”

Bucky raises his brow and Steve murmurs, “Shut up” and buries his face in Bucky’s neck.

“Really? Wow. Steve Rogers.”

“In my defense, it totally came out of nowhere.”

“Right, ‘cause that’s how dreams work idiot. Even your subconscious was telling you something.”

Steve looks up. “It was way before I started having feelings for you.”

Bucky purses his lips. “Well…what exactly did we do in that dream of yours? I bet _you_ made the first move?”

“What? No,” then Steve sighs and leans over to the back of the couch and Bucky is still running his fingers through the blond hair. He can’t get enough of touching it.

“You were just showing me how to pronounce some words…I really can’t remember what they were. I don’t think they were in Italian to be honest. Anyway, then you just leaned and kissed me and I couldn’t do anything but kiss back. Then as we fell into the couch, I woke up.”

Bucky pinches his cheek.

“Ow.”

Bucky giggles. “Well, apparently I beat you.”

“Oh?” and Steve raises his brow, smirking.

Bucky wants the couch to swallow him. He doesn’t want to say anything about it but he finds himself blurting it out.

“Mine was way before the lessons began.” And he buries his head in the back of the couch as Steve laughs.

Steve pushes back some hair strands off Bucky’s face. “No, no. This I gotta hear.”

Without looking at Steve, Bucky mutters, “Mine wasn’t as tame as yours.”

“Seriously?”

And Steve turns Bucky’s head back toward him, making Bucky look at him. “Don’t tell me it’s on the couch too?”

Bucky bites his lower lip, closes his eyes and shakes his head. He feels his lip being pulled from under his teeth by Steve’s mouth. He goes to deepen the hot kiss but Steve pushes his chest away lightly. He licks his lips and shakes his head.

“Nope, Bucky. Tell me about yours.”

Bucky frees his right hand and points at the desk, eyes still closed. Steve turns and then chuckles, nuzzling Bucky.

“Hmm. Wow. Way better than mine.”

“Shut up.”

“You said mine was tame. What happened in yours?” Steve asks as he bites Bucky’s nose lightly. Bucky slaps his arm.

“I was up all night working. Then I slept there without realizing it. Cut it out. It was hot, that’s all I’m gonna say. It almost gave me a heart attack when I woke up.”

And when Steve doesn’t respond, Bucky finally opens his eyes. He sees Steve looking at him sweetly. Then he gets up after touching his cheek softly. The look in his eyes changes into one of determination. He moves to stand up but doesn’t let go of Bucky’s waist. He pulls him up with him and Bucky stands.

“Steve?” he whispers.

He takes Bucky’s hand and walks the short distance to the desk, crowding Bucky against it. Bucky gets the idea and can’t believe what's happening. He holds his breath, waiting.

Steve touches his forehead to his, blue eyes closed. “Walk me through it.”

Bucky’s breath starts quickening. He knows that dream well. Very well. And he can't believe Steve is willing to make it reality.

He summons up his courage as he stares at the long eyelashes. “You were shirtless.”

Steve opens his eyes and they’re dark. He steps a few inches away and takes off his t-shirt swiftly, all the while keeping eye-contact with him. Bucky gasps slightly but doesn’t move to touch.

Steve whispers, “Then what?”

Bucky’s eyes roam the sculpted chest and it looks more magnificent that ever. _Maybe ‘cause I’m close now_ , he thinks.

His brain short-circuits and then hears from afar. “Bucky?”

Bucky puts his both hands on Steve’s shoulders but doesn’t lean. He feels his face burn as he says, “You kissed me…hard.”

And Steve smashes his lips with his, teeth clacking, tongues surging. Bucky’s back digs into the desk. Unlike the dream, he’s prepared now. He circles his arms around Steve’s neck and clings to him. He tastes him this time. He can feel those luscious lips and moans at the feeling. At the hunger coming off Steve in waves.

They kiss in one breath, and then when he feels oxygen is needed, he breaks the kiss. Steve stills just inches away and breathes, “What else?”

Bucky stares at him as he inhales deeply. When he can’t handle the fiery gaze, he nuzzles Steve’s neck, and doesn’t have the courage to look him in the eye to tell him about the rest of the dream. He wants Steve just to go with the flow.

“Steve…just…”

“What else? What did I do?” Steve stresses.

And Bucky feels kind of embarrassed so he just mumbles, “Picked me up…”

And thankfully Steve gets it and doesn’t even wait for Bucky to continue. He sneaks his arms under Bucky’s thighs and effortlessly picks him up and deposits him carefully on the desk.

Bucky kisses him.

Steve cards his fingers through Bucky’s hair and he pushes him until they’re both horizontal on the hard desk. Steve breaks away from his lips and starts mouthing his chest hotly over the t-shirt. Bucky rolls his head back, eyes closing in pleasure. He’s feeling out of control. He gasps when Steve sneaks his hands inside and very softly touches his skin under the t-shirt. His mouth comes back up and is sucking on Bucky’s neck.

Bucky can’t help but moan into the quiet room. “Steve…Steve…”

Then he opens his eyes wide when Steve rolls his hips and grinds up against him, face buried in Bucky’s neck.

“Fuck!” Bucky gasps. But he’s there with Steve. He meets him half way.

This is it. He’s been waiting for this for a long time. Steve says something but his head is cloudy. He wants those lips. And then he feels cold. Steve has rucked up his t-shirt to his armpits and he’s kissing every spot of skin visible to him.

Bucky huffs and tries to sit up and luckily Steve lets him. Bucky takes it off and throws it away and resumes kissing Steve, tongue surging and dueling with his as he lies back down, taking Steve with him.

“Bucky…”

“Yeah...” but Bucky never gives him the chance as he kisses Steve’s cheeks, eyes, nose, lips and then under his chin. All the while their hips haven’t stopped moving together.

“What do you want Bucky? Tell me.” Steve is breathless as he asks and it drives Bucky mad.

“Steve…”

“I’m yours. I'm yours. Just tell me,” he asks as he slowly stops moving, his breath hot against Bucky’s skin.

Bucky holds his head and lifts it to meet those blue eyes. “I want you.”

It’s seconds, staring at each other, and then Steve is off him and pulling him with him.

Bucky relishes in the fact that Steve is going to carry him all the way to his room. So, he secures his arms around Steve’s neck, lips on his mouth and legs around his waist. Steve groans and one of his hands squeezes Bucky closer.

The office is filled with groans and moans and when Bucky rolls his hips on their way out, Steve slams him against the door making Bucky break the kiss, head thudding against the wooden surface and whimpering in the process.

And Steve pushes and grinds, making Bucky gasp and feel pleasure consuming him. Their groins are erratically moving against each other and Bucky’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he claws Steve’s back, holding on.

When he feels like he’s close, he grips Steve’s hair. “Steve…you gotta stop or I’ll…I’m gonna…”

“Yeah?”

Steve grips Bucky’s thighs tighter and pulls him to him while pushing at the same time, creating the most pleasuring friction. Bucky can’t believe he’s gonna come flushed to the door.

And then Steve is just a hurricane. He runs his mouth over Bucky’s right pec, sucking there and Bucky is gasping loudly.

“Steve…Jesus!”

“Fuck, Bucky!”

And then Bucky feels Steve’s hand reaches for his jeans. He unbuttons them and his hand is about to touch him there when the doorbell rings.

Steve stops, but doesn’t lift his head up nor detaches his mouth from Bucky’s chest.

“Shit!” Steve breathes.

Bucky gasps, “Don’t stop.”

And as soon as he resumes driving Bucky crazy, the ringing stops but now there are loud knocks on the door.

“Bucky, what if it’s the mail?” Steve lifts his head up, looking toward the direction of the sound.

Bucky doesn’t give a damn. He uses that moment to mouth Steve’s neck and suck there. “Don’t care. They can come back later.”

“You sure?” Steve even stops moving his hips.

Bucky cups Steve’s face as he looks at him determinately. “Yes! Now, don’t stop.” He goes to kiss him when…

“James! Open the fucking door, will ya.”

Both of the men freeze. Their breaths shake as their mouths freeze inches away from each other. They listen again and the knocking continues. Steve puts Bucky on the ground ever so gently.

Bucky lets out a long breath. “Fuck! That’s Nat.”

Steve untangles his arms from around Bucky as the latter buttons his jeans. He’s so disappointed to be interrupted. He goes to leave hurriedly when Steve hisses, “Bucky!”

“What?”

And Steve tosses him his t-shirt and Bucky is horrified that he almost went out shirtless. He scrambles to put it on and runs to the door with Steve hot on his heels putting his t-shirt back on. Bucky turns to him, checking, and Steve nods his way to go ahead and open the door.

They’re still breathless when Bucky opens the door only to have Nat and Clint-who’s in his scrubs-walk in.

“Clint?” Bucky asks, surprised. “Wait, what’s going on?”

The two of them look somber and they’re standing next to each other not like any other time. This time they’re really attached. Clint’s arm is hugging her waist.

“Oh…So that’s why it took you a long time to open up.” Nat smirks lazily his way and then winks at Steve.

The two of them flush and Bucky clears his throat. “What are you guys doing here? And…” he pauses as he looks at Nat. “You’re in your pajamas again?”

She avoids his eyes and Bucky is alerted. Clint clears his throat. “We had to see you. Uh…it’s um…”

Bucky’s heart falls and his hand reaches behind and finds Steve’s strong grip grounding him. “Oh God…is it Kyle? It’s Kyle, isn’t it?” and he feels his breath leave him. His heart stopping.

“No, no. God, no. It’s not like that.”

“Then what the _fuck_ Clint?” Bucky exhales loudly but nonetheless leans back and is glad to have Steve’s chest supporting him. He can’t feel his legs. His knees are wobbly.

“Hey, relax,” Steve whispers in his ear as he rubs his shoulders.

Clint turns to Nat. “Should I tell them?” He looks grim.

And Nat shakes her head. “No, I’ll do it.” Then she takes a deep breath. “We need your help with something.”

“Oh.” And with hands on hips his breathing goes back to normal. “Okay. Whatever it is, I’m game.”

“Me too,” Steve adds from behind him. “Unless it’s private and you want me to go-”

Nat waves her hand at him. “No, actually we want you for this too.”

“Nat, please cut to the chase. Wait…” and Bucky gasps. “You with the mob now?”

When she doesn’t answer and looks at Clint, Bucky loses it. “I knew it! I knew it! I told you not to take any case…Is that why you need Steve? He’s not going to help you. I won’t let him and—“

“We want you both to be the godfathers to our new addition to the family,” She says softly, interrupting his tirade.

Bucky freezes and he feels Steve lets out a breath behind him. Bucky looks between the couple, gobsmacked. Nat smiles timidly as her hand rubs her tummy. Clint laughs heartily at Bucky’s look of surprise.

“You…I swear to God…” and Bucky laughs. “Are you really? Seriously?”

And he walks up to her and hugs her tight. He feels overjoyed and holds her at arm’s length. He looks at her stomach then at her teary eyes. “Come ‘ere.”

He hugs her again. “Congratulations! And it’d be my honor. You know that. I’m already Nicole’s cool godfather.”

“I need a hug too,” Clint interjects, laughing slightly.

Bucky sees the tears in his eyes too. He knew a long time ago that Clint had wanted a big family. It just came to be. So he lets go of Nat and tackles Clint who claps him on the back twice. “So happy for you pal.”

“Me too Bucky. You have no idea how happy we are.”

“Uh…” and it’s Steve. Bucky turns and smiles when he sees that Steve is speechless and looks shy and confused as what to do.

Clint goes and waves a hand around. “Listen if you—“

“No, no. Are you kidding me? It’s…uh an honor. But are you sure?”

Bucky goes and stands next to him, hand around his waist and leans against him. Nat smiles and for the first time Bucky notices that she’s really happy. Pure happiness is on her face. Last time she smiled like that was when she told him she’s in love with Clint.

“Yes, we’re very sure.”

“I uh…don’t know what to say. Thank you.” And he tears up but moves and hugs Nat very gently. Then hugs Clint. He steps back, letting out a breathy laugh. “Wow. Congratulations again.”

“This calls for a drink!” Bucky announces, clapping his hands together, and proceeds to head to the kitchen when Nat stops him.

“No, no drinking. Remember the pact?”

Bucky and Clint both groan and Steve just watches confused. “Pact?”

“We don’t drink when she can’t.”

“Ouch.”

“You too Rogers.” She points at him.

“Please Nat," Bucky pleads. "Just today. Come on. Plus, Steve didn’t know." He clasps his hands under his chin like a kid.

She cracks. “Fine. Just today since we interrupted your…” and just winks.

Steve flushes, splutters and drags Clint with him to the kitchen. “Let’s open that bottle, shall we?”

Bucky glares at Nat who wiggles her brows but falls into his arms, hugging tight.

“I’m so happy James!”

“I’m glad. Finally Nicole will have someone to boss around.”

She pulls away, but her hands are still on his shoulders. “How was it?”

He frowns then widens his eyes in shock. Pink tints his cheeks. “Jesus! He’s literally over there.”

“That good huh?”

“Well,” he lowers his voice so the others won’t hear. “Nothing happened because you knocked—“

“Aww. Sorry.”

He waves it away, slips his arm around her and walks her to the kitchen. He whispers, “How did you know anyway?”

She pats him on the chest and goes to her husband’s arms but not before saying, “Your t-shirt is inside out.”

 

 

***

 

 

That night Steve is washing the dishes, and Bucky is putting some leftovers in the fridge, when he clears his throat.

“Uh…so Bucky, I was thinking…”

“Yeah?” and Bucky plugs in the electric kettle. He goes to pick out their cups, preparing tea.

“This Sunday…I wanna throw a barbecue. My place. You know, invite your friends over.”

Bucky smiles as he chooses the flavor of the tea. He looks at Steve and the latter looks nervous. He resumes washing the dishes as he stammers.

“I mean…I want us to have a good time. Plus, Sam is gonna help with the grill and prevent me from burning the backyard.”

Bucky moves and stands behind him, hands circling his waist, hugging him to his chest. He kisses the back of his neck and Steve sighs. He pauses in washing.

“That’ll be fun.”

“I also …I wanna invite your mom over.”

Bucky stills and Steve feels it for he puts a plate away and turns, his hands gripping the counter behind him, still dripping with water. Bucky keeps his arms around his waist though.

“If that’s okay with you. I mean…did you tell her about us?” Steve’s voice wavers.

“Uh—“

“It’s okay if you didn’t…”

“I honestly didn’t,” Bucky answers back. He’s amused at the way Steve looks and decides to wait.

“Oh,” Steve mutters, looking surprised. Then he shakes his head and smiles. “It’s okay.” He tries to turn back to the sink but Bucky holds him there, facing him. He’s trying to look serious but Steve rambling is his new favorite thing.

“I mean…that’s okay,” Steve continues. “It’s just gonna be hard keeping my hands off of you.”

“Steve,” and Bucky giggles, unable to keep it for long. Steve gives him a confused look. “My ma knows. It’s just Nat was the one who told her. Not me.”

Steve steps on his foot, not forcefully, and Bucky yelps. Steve folds his arms over his chest. “Really Barnes?”

Bucky can’t help but laugh. “Sorry. Just liked how you were…“

“What did she say?” Steve asks hurriedly.

Bucky regards him with a fond look. He swipes back strands of his soft hair. “Nat and Ma are so close it’s scary. Sometimes I think they read each other’s minds. It was after our first date that Ma had called. She was crying.”

“Happy tears I hope?” Steve frowns.

“Yeah. I couldn’t understand a word. She didn’t stop crying and was like ‘I’ll call ya back Bucky’. Then she does few minutes later after she composed herself. She’s very ecstatic. Gosh…Her reaction and Nat’s just cements the fact that I was pathetic.”

Steve lifts his chin and leans in, not kissing yet. He says softly, “I don’t know how you were single this whole time. I mean…I know you weren’t interested in a relationship but…I’ll never comprehend the fact that no one snatched ya up.”

Bucky shrugs, leans closer into Steve and whispers, “I guess I was just waiting for you.”

Steve blushes. They share a tender kiss.

 

***

 

It’s Sunday. And they’re heading to Steve’s for the barbecue. Kyle hasn’t stopped gushing about it so it’s no wonder to see him running his way to Steve’s. Bucky, as always, asks him not to but there’s no use.

"Come on uncle Bucky. Door is open!"

"No, we're going through the back."

And then Kyle runs all the way to the backyard, Bucky following him with the apple pies he made for the occasion. Steve had asked him not to trouble himself and Bucky threatened him by not kissing him for a whole day. Steve immediately relented.

When he turns around the house he's greeted by the sight of Kyle in Steve’s arms. He has picked him up and they're both watching Sam teaching them how to flip the burgers. He pauses a bit and inhales deeply. Satisfied and content.

He walks toward them. Steve sees him and breaks into a wide smile. He puts Kyle down and walks up to him.

"Hey." And gives him a kiss. He goes to take the pies but Bucky refuses.

"It's okay. I'll go put them inside a bit. It's too warm outside."

"Okay." And he puts a wild hair strand behind Bucky's ear. "I missed you."

Bucky chuckles but blushes nonetheless. "I just saw you this morning."

Steve shrugs and Bucky stupidly stares at him with heart in his eyes.

"Hey you lovebirds!” Sam yells from his spot where he's grilling. “Cut it out and give us a hand here."

Kyle’s giggle reaches them and Bucky notices that Sam has given Kyle his apron with the minions on it and they're both looking their way. Sam's fake scowl causes Bucky to laugh out loud and he tells Steve he's gonna go inside.

As soon as he gets inside, he feels the silence. He takes a deep breath. This is the first time for him to be in his house after getting together.

His eyes immediately fall on Peggy's photo, which is lost now on the wall in the midst of so many photographs.

His heart beats loudly and he averts his eyes. He doesn't know how to act now. With her here. With this being _her_ house.

He doesn't know if he should draw the lines...should he not make out with Steve here? Can he ever spend the night here?

 _No fuckin way,_ he thinks. _  
_

He puts the pies over the counter and dashes through the door. He sees Kyle helping Steve setting up a table outside.

He walks over to Sam. "How's it going?"

"Extra well done and I don't fuckin' care what that giant man wants. I hate medium rare."

Bucky laughs as he looks over at Kyle running around the table and Steve trying to catch him.

"You have no idea how happy I am for you guys."

Bucky turns to find Sam smiling his way. He blushes and puts his hair behind his ear. "Uh, thanks."

"No, thank _you_."

"For what?"

He turns to him. "In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him this happy."

"Not even with Peggy?" Bucky regrets it as soon as he says it. He sounds pathetic.

Sam chuckles as he claps his shoulder. "Not even with her." When he sobers up he says, "You and that little kid brought him back to life. You brought back my friend when we all lost hope."

“Woohooo.”

Both of them turn and Bucky breaks into a huge smile when he sees his mom making her way down the steps toward them. She had come through the backdoor. Kyle gets to her first as soon as Steve puts him down.

She hugs him, lifting him up as she showers him with kisses. Then Bucky gets there and she puts Kyle and tears up.

“Come on ma…none of that now.”

And she hugs him so tight that he chuckles. “I’m so happy for you sweetie.”

“Thanks ma.”

He pulls away and Steve steps up to hug her. She kisses him on both cheeks then squishes them. He flushes and Bucky smiles at the whole thing.

“Welcome to the family sweetheart.”

“Oh, thank you. That means a lot.” And Steve gulps as he casts his eyes down. Bucky rubs his lower back. He can sense he’s getting emotional.

Kyle pulls his grandma to show her the plastic plate set Steve bought for him. He had bought two kids sets for him and Nicole.

Then the Barton's show up and it’s a party.

 

***

 

They have their burgers, which are so delicious and Sam can’t stop boasting.

Bucky cuts another slice of pie to Nat who hasn’t stopped eating since she sat down. The kids are playing Frisbee with Steve and Clint. Sam is showing mama Barnes how he likes his burgers as he grills a new one.

“Ow.” He lets out when Nat’s foot kicks him from under the table.

“So?” and she wiggles her brows at him as she hums at the taste of the pie.

“What are you talking about?”

And she nods her head toward Steve. He looks over and finds him giving Kyle a piggyback ride and racing Clint who's giving his daughter a piggyback ride too.

“He was phenomenal in bed, wasn’t he?”

“Shhh! Jesus.”

“What?” she giggles then sobers up when Bucky looks down at his drink. “You gotta be kidding me. I thought you’d be at it like rabbits by now.”

He sips his glass of wine and shakes his head. “Was gonna but you interrupted us that morning.”

She drops her fork. “That was five days ago.”

“Well, there wasn’t the right moment.”

She touches his hand. “If it’s ‘cause of Kyle, I’ll have him over for a sleepover…”

He covers his face and mumbles, “I can’t believe you’re talking about this while my ma is literally standing over there.”

“James…” she says softly.

He lets out a breath and catches sight of Steve and Kyle tumbling to the ground laughing. “I…part of me is scared and you know why. That morning I was kinda brave. I don't know what came over me…still waiting for that courage to come back.”

She brushes some crumbs off her lap. When she's finished, she leans over, elbows on the table and hands under her chin. “Listen. That man worships the ground you walk on. Ever thought that maybe he’s waiting for you? He’s letting you set the pace?”

He looks at her, frowning. He never thought of it that way. “Oh.”

“Communication James. That’s how I make it work with that big baby over there.”

And both of them look over and chuckle as they watch Clint pout when he drops his burger, Nicole jumping on him.

 

***

 

Bucky goes inside to get some cold water for Nat. He walks to the kitchen and opens the fridge. It’s different than before. It’s fully stacked now and he smiles at the difference in every corner of this house. Months ago it looked deserted. And now it's full of life.

“Hey, there you are,” Steve says from the backdoor.

Bucky turns and smiles as Steve walks towards him. “Hey.”

"Finally," Steve breathes as he puts his hands on Bucky's hips and backs him up to the fridge. He leans to give him a kiss but Bucky moves slightly and Steve's lips land on his cheek instead.

Steve stops there and Bucky shuts his eyes, cringing at his own stupidity.

"What's wrong?" Steve is still hovering over his cheeks. 

Bucky reddens and doesn't know what to say. His eyes land on Peggy's photo behind Steve. He feels his heart beat so fast and doesn't know how to explain what he just did. Explain what he's feeling.

He smiles sadly but doesn't look his way. 

"Bucky?" And then Steve steps away a bit and his hand touches Bucky's chin, lifting it his way.

"Is it 'cause your ma's here? No PDA? Got it."

"No, no. Uh..."

And he looks up at that sunshine of a smile. He sighs and decides to be frank. "I just don't know how to navigate when I'm here...um I mean...I should really be respectful."

"Respectful?" Steve furrows his brows. "To who exactly?"

"Well..." And Bucky motions behind Steve who's still frowning. He looks to where Bucky has pointed and then looks back. He looks twice and then it's apparent it's dawned on him.

Bucky waits for his reaction but is surprised when he looks calm. "Bucky...She'll always be a part of me."

"I know, I know." And he rubs Steve's arms. _Damn it!_ That's not what he meant. "Jesus! It's not that. I  just..."

"Then what is it? You're not sure of my feelings?" And now he looks hurt.

Bucky grips his collar, pulling him closer. "No, not that. Of course I trust you. I love you. _I know you_. But I thought it's weird or disrespectful making out...I don't know what the fuck I’m saying or feeling. Shit. This is her house!"

" _And mine too_. You forget she bought it in both our names."

Bucky sighs and can't believe they're going to fight over this. And what is _this_ really?

He folds his arms over his chest. Feeling very vulnerable. "I just...I didn't know where to draw the line or ...I wanted to be respectful of her and that's all."

Steve sighs and steps closer, rubbing his hands over Bucky's forearms.

"Bucky...there aren't lines to be drawn-"

"But isn't it-"

"Do you remember when you jumped through my window?"

Bucky nods and doesn't know where he's going with this.

"There was only one photograph on that wall. And now look. It's full of other photos. I've moved on. I'm alive now thanks to you and Kyle."

Bucky stares at his blue eyes and Steve continues, "I was mourning the friend more than the lover in her."

"It's just..."

"I believe that she's the one that lead me to you."

When Bucky knits his brows, Steve huffs a laugh, blushing. Then he steps closer, only inches apart. Bucky inhales as Steve kisses his forehead then looks at him fondly.

“I believe with all my being that it’s no coincidence Bucky…It’s no coincidence that I moved all the way from New York to this small neighborhood. _It’s no coincidence_ that I opened the door that day…on Halloween. It’s no coincidence that I connected with you. I’m…”

Bucky can’t help but get teary-eyed.

“I’m meant to meet you. To _be_ with you. To fall in love with you and for you to fall in love with me. It’s …fate. I honestly believe that with all my heart.” And he grabs Bucky’s hand and puts it on his chest. Bucky feels his fast beating heart.

Steve gets teary-eyed too as he stresses the next words, yet in a soft voice. “I think you’re the love of my life. I honestly do. You might think it’s a cliché—“

And Bucky shuts him up with his mouth, kissing him softly. Not frantic but passionate. When he breaks the kiss, he’s still a breath away from him.

He whispers, “I’m sorry I was weird about this.”

“It’s okay.”

Bucky opens his eyes and sees Steve’s are still closed as he breathes the same air as Bucky. He remembers what Nat advised him few minutes ago.

“This Friday…I want you to spend the night with me.”

Steve opens his eyes and seems to be searching Bucky’s face. Bucky just gnaws on his lower lip which draws the attention of Steve. He leans in and before he kisses him, he whispers, “I’m all yours.”

 

 

***

 

Bucky talks to Monty through Skype and he's trying to find the right moment to tell him about Steve. Monty is telling him about the latest good conferences there when he stops and scratches his new beard. "Say Bucky, I guarantee the English countryside is a brilliant idea for a wedding venue."

Bucky shuts the screen but not before hearing Monty's loud guffaw.

 

***

 

"What about this conference?" Bucky asks Dernier.

"Oh, don't. Speakers aren't promising. But the top of the Eiffel Tower is the best place to propose."

Bucky shuts the screen again but not before hearing Dernier's kissing noises.

 

 

What was he thinking? Of course Nat would spread the news.

 

***

 

“Hey,” Bucky greets Steve as he pulls him inside.

It's Friday and Bucky has never felt like this before. Excited but scared at the same time. Tonight may be _the_ night!

Steve kisses his cheek as he puts his sketchbook on the table. Bucky is tempted to ask why he’d bring it but decides otherwise. Maybe he’s nervous too.

Bucky tries not to act weird. He keeps reminding himself that there's a possibility that tonight won’t end up the way he wants.

No pressure. They have their lives ahead of them.

But he really wants Steve.

He puts his hands on Steve's shoulders and pushes him toward the kitchen. "What are we doing?"

"We," Bucky starts as he guides Steve to stand between the oven and the counter. "Are gonna make my awesome pizza."

Steve looks skeptical and folds his arms over his chest. "Didn't you say the tomato sauce is a secret family recipe?"

Bucky rolls up his sleeves, washes his hands and directs Steve to do the same. "Did you forget what ma said?"

Steve freezes. "Oh God. Did she ask me to do something and I didn't? Bucky, I love your ma and I certainly don't wanna disappoint her. I-"

"Relax," and he hands him the towel to dry off. "She welcomed you to the family. And that makes you eligible to know our secrets."

Steve pauses in drying his hands. Bucky gives him a peck on the lips and turns around to start the mixture to make the dough. He feels Steve hugging him from behind and kissing the side of his face. "I'll carry it to the grave."

He stays there for few more seconds before he asks Bucky. "What did you tell Kyle?"

Bucky pauses and is thankful Steve can't see his red face. "That his aunt Nat wants him for sleepover for Nicole."

It's seconds and then he feels Steve kiss the back of his neck before he steps away and stands next to him.

"Come on. We'll make two small pizzas. Show me your skills Rogers."

Steve stretches his arms, and wiggles his fingers. "Bring it on Barnes."

 

***

 

Bucky enjoys Steve's frustration with the dough. It's apparent he'll never perfect the art of baking. That is why his mood lifts up as soon as he starts cutting the vegetables. Then Bucky instructs him not to literally take notes when he cooks the sauce. There shouldn't be any trace of the secret recipe.

"You should know better than to leave tracks Rogers given that you were a spy and everything," Bucky says, smirking.

"For the hundredth time Bucky, I was never a spy. I was an FBI agent."

"Eh," and Bucky shrugs. Then yelps when Steve attacks his sides in a tickle war that almost made Bucky drop the pot.

 

***

 

The two trays of pizza are in the oven and Bucky pulls out a bottle of wine. The both of them sit there on the stools, sipping wine while keeping eye on what's in the oven.

Bucky eyes the sketchbook. "You never really showed me your work."

Steve smiles, puts the glass away and pulls the sketchbook to him. He opens it gently as he scoots over to Bucky. "That's because it's full of ..."

Bucky puts his glass away and rests his elbows on the counter as Steve shows him a sketch after another. To say that Steve is talented is an understatement. He's a genius!

It's all full of Bucky. His face. Him sitting in his office. Him with Kyle playing in the park. Him with Steve. Him cooking in the kitchen.

"Oh my God," he breathes as he flips through it himself, touching some of them.

"I uh...can't stop drawing you. I mean-"

Bucky catches him by surprise when he crushes his mouth to his. It's passionate and he grips Steve's hair more strongly than usual. Steve moans and Bucky pulls away because: _not now_.

After dinner.

"You should've been a fucking artist with your own gallery instead of being a spy."

Steve sighs and rests his head on Bucky's chest in resignation. It's apparent he's tired of correcting Bucky who's chuckling as he goes to check on the pizza.

 

***

 

The pizza smells amazing. Steve sets the table and they carry out the trays to the dinning table. Bucky cuts them into slices. Steve rubs his hands together. "Can't believe that I actually created this delicious thing."

"Go on. Try it." Bucky prompts him by picking up one slice and handing it to him. Steve takes it and hisses at the hot cheese but takes a bite. Bucky smiles widely when he sees Steve shake his head in amazement.

"I'm so glad I'm on to this recipe."

Bucky chuckles as he takes a slice and starts eating.

 

It isn't until Steve is eating his third slice when it happens. He's in the middle of telling a funny story that had happened at the VA earlier in the week when he bites fast leaving the tomato sauce trailing on his chin. Bucky tries not to laugh but Steve catches him.

"What?"

"You've got..." and he motions with his hand. Steve is clumsy still and spreads it more. Bucky groans and gets up to get some napkins.

"Just stop, you big baby."

When he comes back, he starts cleaning Steve's chin when he suddenly pauses. Steve looks at him with knit brows. "What?"

Bucky runs his thumb across Steve's lower lip and can't help but lean over and lick the corner of his mouth. Steve lets out a breathy gasp and Bucky discards the napkin and starts to lick around his mouth. He has this sudden urge to glue himself to Steve. To breathe him. To get lost in him.

He's waited long enough.

Steve's hands grip his hips and Bucky throws all sort of restraint to the wind and straddles him. He kisses him filthily and it's driving him crazy how Steve is just surrendering to him. Bucky latches on to his hair, pulling it as he turns his head aside to deepen the kiss.

He pours it all.

"Buck...Bucky," Steve gets out breathlessly.

Bucky breaks away from his lips but starts kissing his chin, under it, moving down to his neck. He can hear Steve's breath gets shallow. Then he grinds up against Bucky who drops his head on Steve's shoulder. "Shit!"

"Bucky," And Steve squeezes his behind and brings him closer, making the both of them groan. He nudges Bucky's head, his lips caressing his cheek. Bucky is still trying to catch his breath, not lifting his head off Steve's shoulder.

"Bucky, I..."

Bucky lets out a breathy chuckle. “Tell me.”

“I want you.”

This is what he's been waiting for. So Bucky moves his head a bit so he can whisper in Steve's ear. "Take me."

He’s met with unsure eyes and nerves. So Bucky gets up and without saying anything takes his hand and pulls him up. He guides him to his room and all the while noticing that Steve is starting to hyperventilate. He can feel the nerves.

Bucky hugs him and feels him relax. He peppers kisses on his shoulder then neck. Steve gives him access by leaning to the left. His breath shallow. Then Bucky looks up and finds Steve has closed his eyes. He can't help but kiss each one softly.

He then rids Steve of his t-shirt and runs his hands all over the sculpted chest. His heart is thundering in his chest but he wants to be calm about it because the Steve in front of him is not the same Steve who was on fire in his office.

There's a sense of finality, a new beginning in what's about to come.

His hand feels Steve’s heart and is awed that his heart is beating so fast. He goes to take off his own t-shirt but Steve stops him. He does it instead and as soon as he throws it away, he puts his hand behind Bucky’s head and pulls him close, their lips smashing together.

Steve walks him back, lips locked with each other. Bucky feels the edge of the bed hit the back of his knees and goes to lie down but Steve wraps his arm around his middle, tightens his grip and pulls him as he breaks the kiss.

“You sure?” he asks breathless.

Bucky whispers, “All Yours.”

Steve shudders slightly and Bucky nuzzles the spot behind his ear and then whispers, “Take me.”

His eyes are fixed on blue ones and he feels Steve’s hand reaches the waist of his jeans. Steve unbuttons them all the while eyes still locked with Bucky's. This time it’s Bucky who’s breath is shuddering. And he lets out a hurried breath when Steve drops to his knees very slowly. Just seeing him there almost makes him dizzy.

He takes off Bucky’s jeans and throws them aside, all the while holding eye-contact with Bucky who’s trying not to pass out.

“Steve…”

Then Steve just hugs his waist, face buried in his toned stomach. Bucky can feel the shaking but it’s not nerves this time. It’s want. He buries his hand in the blond hair and whimpers when Steve just runs his open mouth across his lower abdomen. His fingers are hovering over the elastic waist of the boxers.

Bucky throws his head back and groans. Then Steve gets up and kisses him while lowering him down slowly on the bed.

“Take them off. Off,” Bucky gasps as he tries to rid Steve of his jeans. Steve does just that and comes back, sucking on his neck and rolling his hips. There's only thin material between them.

“Fuck!”

And his hands are probably leaving marks on Steve’s back as he tries to cling to him.

“How…how do you want me?” Bucky is trying to breathe normally but to no avail.

Steve lifts his face up to look at him and kisses him softly on the lips. “Like this…just like this. I love you.”

"I love you too."

And he starts trailing kisses from the hollow of his neck to his groin and Bucky gets lost and dizzy as he moans endlessly into the night.

 

***

 

Bucky wakes up to the sound of wrestling sheets and a weird scratching noise. He opens his eyes and he’s staring at his window. It’s still dark outside. He sighs as he remembers.

He smiles as he turns his head and finds the source of the strange noises. A lazy wide smile crosses his face as he finds Steve sitting Indian style, leather-bound sketchbook in his lap as he sketches furiously into the paper.

“Hey,” Bucky says. Voice husky from sleep.

Steve looks up and smiles that sunshine smile and Bucky sighs and goes to turn on his back when Steve blurts, “No, no, no. Don’t.”

“Jeez!”

“Sorry. But you’re gonna ruin my work.”

“Wait. Are you sketching me?”

Steve smirks as he adjust the sheet right where it was which is barely covering Bucky’s ass, leaving his back exposed.

“Yup. I’ve been wanting to do this for a _long_ time.”

Bucky settles down as he buries his hands under the pillow. He just watches as Steve transforms into the driven, passionate artist that he is. He’s never seen him this serious.

“Can I at least see?”

“Nope. Not until I’m done.”

“How long?”

“Hold on…I need…just,” and Steve leans over and adjust the sheet, pulling it down a bit, top of his ass showing. Bucky blushes, which is ridiculous, given that they had just made love few hours ago.

Before he goes back to his spot, Steve kisses his lower back softly.

“Is this gonna be our thing?”

“What?” Steve bites his lip as he goes back to drawing.

“We make love and then you sketch me in the nude?”

Steve laughs but then smirks looking up. “Oh the fully nude sketch is for some other time.”

Bucky raises his brow and then relaxes. He closes his eyes and rests. After few minutes he can’t go back to sleep. So he ends up staring at Steve as he works. He notices that he’s naked. Sheet covering him just so he could support the sketchbook.

Bucky’s eyes relishes in the sight. A true Roman statue. He can’t believe that it was only months ago when he used to watch him jog imagining what his body would feel like.

“Hey, when are you gonna finish?”

“Getting bored already Buck?”

Bucky decides to just tease him. He wants Steve to come to him but he won’t move, very invested in that sketch. So he just turns around on his back, shimmying a bit to let the sheet fall lower, barely covering his nether regions. He stretches one arm over his head and the other on his stomach. He sighs loudly and that makes Steve look up.

“Aw Bucky, you ruined…” Steve pauses as he drinks in the sight.

“I think this is a better pose, don’t you think?”

Steve just stares at him and Bucky is starting to feel his stomach drop at the way Steve is looking at him. He puts away the sketchbook and pencils and crawls toward him. He lays his full weight on Bucky making him sigh in delight.

“Who’s the menace now?” Steve growls.

Bucky moves his hips a bit, seeking friction, and that causes Steve to groan and bury his face in his neck.

“I just want some lovin’.”

Steve snickers and then holds Bucky’s arms above his head, lacing their fingers together. “I’ll show you some lovin’.”

 

***

 

It's near noon when Bucky wakes up to an empty bed. He almost panics but sees that the sketchbook and pencils are next to him, on the spot of where Steve was.

It's open for him on the sketch of him half nude. He gasps at the work done. Then he reads what Steve wrote under a date and a signature.

 

**_Obviously this doesn't do you justice._ **

**_Love,_**

**_Steve_ **

 

Then he strains his ears and hears sounds in the kitchen. He smiles and is comforted by that fact. A hot shower is what he needs right now.

After he finishes, he puts on a new t-shirt and clean sweat pants. He looks back at the room and smiles. He still gotta wash the bed sheets but it can wait a bit. He's gotta find out what his boyfriend is doing at eleven thirty in the morning in the kitchen. Walking down the hall his heart skips as he hears Kyle's voice.

A wide smile crosses his face. Steve must've woken up early and went to get him from the Barton's. They had planned to get him together but apparently Steve did it and it warms his heart.

He pauses at the corner, peeking at the two in the kitchen.

"Wow Stevie...you're a grown up."

"I'm trying, okay?"

"Well, you gotta hurry up so we can add the cheese."

Bucky sees them as Steve is cooking an omelette and Kyle has the stool close to the stove and he's sitting there leaning over to watch.

Steve takes deep breaths. "Okay. All right."

"I'll count. Three, two, one!"

And Steve doesn't flip and Bucky tries not to giggle out loud.

"Whats wrong Stevie?" Kyle sounds so disappointed.

"I wasn't ready."

"I'll count again. You have to be ready. All right. One, two, three!"

And Steve raises the skillet and flips the omelette and the two cheer. Steve leaves a kiss on Kyle's head. And it hits Bucky when he sees the look on Kyle's face. He looks at Steve reverently.

He smiles and watches as Steve makes way for Kyle to sprinkle the cheddar cheese, hand on his small back.

"Careful buddy."

"I'm a big boy."

"That you are but it doesn't mean you can't be careful."

And Bucky's heart warms up at how Steve is already acting like a mentor. Like a parent.

He finds himself almost chocking up at the thought. He clears his throat and makes himself present. When the two turn, they groan.

"Noooo, it's supposed to be a surprise," Kyle says, disappointed. But that doesn't stop him from running to Bucky and jumping on him. Bucky picks him up and kisses his cheek twice and the kid clings to him like an octopus. Bucky smells him for he misses him. Sleepovers usually were with Bucky included since it was either at his place or at the Barton's.

It's the first time he spends the night away from him.

"Miss you SO much uncle Bucky." Kyle holds Bucky's face between his small hands and pats him gently twice.

"Oh? How much?"

"This much!" And Kyle spreads his arms wide making both adults laugh heartily.

Steve smiles warmly at them as he sets the omelette with a side of toast in front of Bucky on the counter. "Go on. Sit."

Bucky puts Kyle down who drags the stool to sit across from his uncle. Bucky turns to Steve and lightly kisses him on the lips. "Hey."

Steve blushes a bit and Bucky is amused. "Hey. Here's something we cooked for you."

He sits and Steve sits next to him after pouring a glass of orange juice for him.

"What about you two?"

"Uncle Clint made us breakfast. Aunt Nat was still asleep. He made me and Nicole squared pancakes." And wiggles his brows. Steve laughs at him as he hands him a cup of warm chocolate milk which he starts sipping.

"He insisted I taste them. Otherwise, I'd have waited for you," Steve explains.

Bucky turns to Steve and watches him go back to sit next to him closely. "Thanks for picking him up," he says softly.

Steve shakes his head and puts his hand at Bucky's lower back. He only brushes his soft lips to Bucky's cheek and says, "Dig in, will ya?"

"Yes, uncle Bucky. Tell us how we did?"

"Okay." And he takes a bite of the omelette and chews slowly. Intentionally. The two stare at him, waiting.

"Well?"

He puts his fork down and slams his hands over the counter. "Delicious!"

"YES!" Kyle yells. Bucky chuckles at how Steve puts his hand up and Kyle high-fives him.

Then the kid spreads his arms wide, looks up at the ceiling and the two men chuckle already knowing what's about to happen.

"This is the BEST life ever and ever!"

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated ;)
> 
> Oh and I'm on [Tumblr](http://isabellajack.tumblr.com/)


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